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RumpleForeskin
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 79
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
The Pingster wrote: Oh, God! then hit repeat repeatedly.

Me, I replied: Name dropper. ;)

Twisted (Sister?) Skald, in what may have been her first ever post in here, called this den of depravity "a proper bar". That is, of course, a gross slight on this, the most improper bar in all of Lushland. However, what with her being such a new newbie she hadn't been given the ceremonial one free and very small beer awarded to new customers, so we'll just chalk that to youthful exuberance -- this time. ;)

Emma, no pep talk can ease your burdens. But know that this crew is here to listen and lend whatever support is possible.

I've read, rated and voted on Carlton's new 'Luna...' story. It's both hot and funny which is a tough double. Check it out if you get a chance.

Time for a power nap. Anybody want a drink before I slip off into the land of nod?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Okay, let me try to get this straight. Jeff has a two and a half Verve reflector scope that can be used to spy on Rach but, one presumes, only when she's buck nekkid and standing on her head on account as how that type of scope flips all images upside down? So how am I doing?


Here's your spiced rum and Coke, Pingster. As Rumplations resident authority on Pickleball, I'm wondering if it needs to be designated as one of this dive's officially unofficial team sports?

Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
In the never ending, and always futile efforts by the management and staff of Rumplations to bring a touch of culture to the joint's culturally clueless clientele, the following is hereby submitted:

NYTimes: “Town officials in Bedminster, N.J., have the plans for a possible Trump family future, or at least the blueprints: a major addition to Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner’s ‘cottage’ on the grounds of the Trump National Golf Club, to include: a relocated heliport, a spa and yoga complex, plus four new pickleball courts.... -- whoa up, stop the presses!

Your beloved blind barkeep will admit to never, ever, hearing of something called 'pickleball'. All those in a similar state of blissful ignorance are encouraged to check out Wiki for some elucidation.

btw: The term 'pickle race' is familiar but not 'pickleball'. Best I can tell, they ain't the same thing.

Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Tam, I 'accidental like' made your 'gin bloody mary' a double. Hope you don't mind. As for a tab, No one with a back like yours needs a tab in this joint. ;)

Xander, sorry to say, but the Rumplations' data base lacks the phone number of your Lady Jane. However, would a used but not too badly abused electric blanket do as a temporary substitute chill-fighter?

Pingster, someday you need to consider giving up playing in that big-ass sandbox.

Verve, I'd worry about your safety following those LJ related remarks about your telescopic plans but no doubt she'll just consider the source and then whether to change the locks while there's still time. ;).

Tam, you ready for a refill? And Jeff, you want a shot of Beaver Breath Brandy in your coffee? Anybody else ready to celebrate Tuesday?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, to all assembled Tuesday tempters and the tempted. Massive thanks to Big Bertha and the rest of the morning crew for the sublime coffee and goodies.
All the post about Amy Winehouse have been a goodness. To paraphrase the words of Edna Milay, "Her candle burned at both ends and could not last the night, but it gave such a beautiful light."

Her all too brief life brought to what passes for my mind these days the names of two other 'one of a kind' singers to left the stage way too early. Here's the complete list along with their ages at the time of death.

Amy Winehouse, 27
Janis Joplin, 27
Eva Cassidy, 33

I'll drink to all of them, maybe with a 'Taser, then a Deviantor, and a Hanna in honor of three one of a kind Rumplator writers. Anybody else want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all Moanday Mourners with a special tip of the big sombrero to Tonya and Curvy for being Tonya and Curvy, and to Carl for all the fine music especially the two he posted last week for me.

So I came stumbling in yesterday and, if I'm lying -- I'm dying, the first post I came across was the mega-post Ping laid on us last Thursday -- that is unless it was some other date. Mucho gasseous,Mr. G, I needed that.

Thanks to the KC Chiefs whipping the LV Raiders we have doughnuts from Carl. And just for the record, I agree with him about the game having an almost excruciating final five minutes or so. Condolences to Buz for his Falcons losing, again, to my Saints. And in conclusion, my LSU Tigers managed to avoid losing to Arkansas in the rain up in Fayetteville

Now I'm gonna fill my mug to the brim with Big Bertha's bountiful brew, grab a doughnut and brownie then go join Carl out on the back porch. Anybody wanna drink before Tawny does her skinny-dipping in the dumpster hot tub number this morning?

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Morning, y'all. I wanted to make one last rl non-Rumple post to thank all of you for the kindness and support you extended me over the last week. With luck, I'll be able to reply to most of those post. But if I fall short, please know it's due to my incompetence not from a lack of sincere appreciation for all your best wishes.

In other words, you Rumplators Rock!

Bill the well and truly rumpled
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Over the weekend, my wife love and best friend for half a century, left us softly, in her sleep, after a five year struggle with dementia.

Thanks to all with a special HUG for Cyn for all the friendship, support and for just being there. I'll be around but probably not as loudly for awhile.

Later, Rumplators
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Xander, you are, to use a over-used phrase from back in my 'white bread' days, 'You are a trip.

Carl, you and James keep 'em coming. I'll deal with homesickness later. ' ;)

Wonder if the Pingster is glued to his tube watching the Masters?

BTW, while Sazeracs are a goodness, especially if made with Sazerac rye whiskey, a Ramos Gin Fizz goes well with beignets, imo. Might be worth the trouble to whip up some Cafe' au Lait enhanced with Sazerac or Beaver Breath Brandy.

Now who wants another drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a big TGIF to all who enter, especially those who stay of their own free will.

Curvy, as usual you and Big Bertha have done well for this scene of old world culture and charm. An official 'Thank you' would be coming your way if only the 'Thank you' cards hadn't been used for bar coasters.

As of a few minutes ago, the contest was still open and there were 50 entries. Those who help with the judging are to be pitied.

The big news out here in the desert is, well, let me get back to y'all on that one. Meanwhile, I'll fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug to the brim, grab a brownie or two and hunker down to wait on whatever the hell happens next. Anybody else want a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Evening, Ms C. Any connection between me and a correct answer is just proof the age of miracles hasn't passed. But just for that atta boy, I'll draw three beers for you and you two buddies. ;)

Anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Emma, you and James have both asked some questions about contest rules and regs. I'd hoped a mod or some such lifeform who actually knows about that would respond but since none has, here's the unofficial, unauthorized Rumplations take.

Remember well and bear in mind that Nic runs these no-fee contests and funds the prizes to attract new readers and writers and to keep the old hands happy and cranking out 'content'. As such, the ten vote limit is more theoretical than literal. It's a nice way to keep interest during a contest BUT (big but) I've never heard of a quality story being kicked out of the competition for having only nine or fewer votes.

As for those other questions James mentioned, your best bet is to PM a mod about them.

I'll drink to that.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to our Curvy-unit and all the early and/or late arrivals.

Temp sank down into the 30's here in the Valley of the Sun. Judging by the smell of moth balls in the air, no doubt long stored away winter-type gear is being aired out.

Thanks to the efforts of Curvy and Big Bertha, I'll soon be savoring the taste of the ambrosia that is Big Bertha coffee , hot chocolate mixed with a healthy slug of Beaver Breath Brandy. BTW, it goes well with brownies.

Anybody wanna try some or maybe just straight tea or coffee?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
New online horror lit mag thought some of u might want to check out. The link won't work so google the title.


Boneyard Soup

They publish horror and dark fantasy fiction as well as nonfiction curated under the title Cabinet of Curiosities. They are a new digital journal, and have already successfully run a Kickstarter. They pay.

* taken from the free online newsletter of Authors Publish (highly recommended)

I'll drink to that. Anybody else need a jolt?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and big HUGS to all Rumplators for successfully banding together to help one another endure the unendurable -- and that includes both the just concluded (sorta) US Presidential election and the current LUSH writing contest. ;)

Congrats to my NO Saints and Carl's KC Chiefs for wins yesterday. And special thanks to Carl for today's celebratory doughnuts.

Many thanks to Tonya, Curvy, and Big Bertha for today's setup. Me, I'm gonna fill my mug, grab a few brownies and 'read some contest entries. Anybody out there want a drink before I hunker down to business?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes to all who rush in, thinking they're late for the election, discover they are, then stay for the celebratory party that is still underway.

James, hug that grandgirl for us. Carl, pat your equine ensemble for us. Emma, pat yourself wherever it feels best. Curvy, pat Big Bertha in someplace inappropriate to say thanks for todays' blessed brew and then treat yourself to a similar treat.

Meit's 50f this AM out here in the desert so I'm gonna take my mug of Big Bertha's elixir with a similar amount of hot chocolate plus a shot of Beaver Breath Brandy, then go sit a spell with Coma and Tose to discuss life, and pro football.

Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
The major media outlets (NBC, CNN, AP, FoxNews, etc.)have just projected Joe Biden as President-elect. He will be sworn into office on 1/20/21. There is, literally dancing in some streets in America. smile

I'll drink to that. Who else needs a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes for a winter wonderland, that is to say,, a winter spent wondering when the hell our lands will be unlocked

Lots of college football here in the states. Don't know what the rest of you will be doing to pass the time but excessive drinking and monkey sex would be high on my list of suggestions with writing and catching up on contest entries valid alternatives during any slack time, imo. ;)

Many thanks to Tonya for today's setup. Please 'scuse me while I fill my mug to the brim with Big Bertha's beatific brew,, slosh some on Carl and James, grab a representative sampling of the goodies and slip out to the back porch. Anybody else need something to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
KC, remember well and bear in mind that to be a writer means dealing with an assortment of low-life bottom feeders (And before you ask, no, that was not a bit of autobiographical musing.).

Now back to the regular order of business.

Greetings to all writers of the purple porn. Thanks to Curvy, coffee, hot water for tea and coco plus her very own brownies are all available. So go help-yourself, then go vote on Kistin's mistreated stories.

BTW, James, we don't have no stinkinj' rules here in Rumplations. Best the management and staff can hope for is dropping a hint or two with strong suggestions reserved for emergencies.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, Curvy, and thanks for today's setup. Unfortunately, the final body count following the US Presidential elections won't be known for some time, probably this Friday, or even later. Apparently, about half of my fellow citizens think four more years of Trump incompetent authoritarianism is acceptable. Me, I don't. That the GOP may keep control of the Senate and pick up a few seats in the House just adds to the misery index and stokes my depression. One positive thought is my conviction that sometimes, not being depressed is a sure sign of mental illness. ;)

Anybody else want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Sic 'em, Carl ;)

Morning, Curvy, looks like we might be in need of an extra batch of brownies.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes to all for a glorious Election Day here in the States. The rest of y'all are encourage to send positive vibes our way.

Big Bertha has been readied for some serious use today. The fresh coffee is Louisiana dark roast and her sludge (bottom settlement) has been left in place to give today's brew a bit more bite. The tea kettle is full of the same water as was supplied for Big Bertha and has it all warm and waiting for our tea sippers.

Those in more civilized time zones might prefer to sample some the the bar's beastie beers, wonderous wines and our every popular fine lickers

Tawny has pitched in a box of Twinkies she liberated from the store where her cousin Virgil is night manager. Those will have to do until something better is on offer.

So whadda ya wanna drink (and save one of those Twinkies, y'all hear me?)

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this 'Way Too Early' Moanday mourning. Big Bertha is up and running and there's tea-ready water in the tea kettle. The rest is, as they say, up to y'all.

Martin, Laura, you two make it a tad less mournful here in Rumplations. Either of you need something else to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetingsw and welcome to Rumplations and the month of November.

Over on Stories Space the contest was still open about an hour ago. Best I could count there are about 53 stories entered with over half coming in the 'Shorter Than Flash' category.

Sarah's Va Tech Hokies outscored Louiville.
Meanwhile Carl's K-State Wildcats lost to West Va while my LSU Tigers were embarrassed at Auburn. This info was provided as a way to help Rumplators interpret the grins or scowls of that trio.

Time for coffee and brownies (thanks Tonya, Big Bertha, and Curvy) and maybe sample some of the leftovers from yesterday -- assuming there are any leftovers. Anybody needing a drink better speak up now before I go sit a spell with Coma and Tose.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a most insincere 'BOO!' to one and all. Those now shaking in terror are elgible for one or more comforting HUGS. ;)

It is a little known fact that according to a marginal note on the last page of the personnel folder of Terrance the Tarantula, our head of security, that during a pre-hiring interview, he let drop that he was a direct descendent of the big-ass 'deadly' tarantula that got into bed with James Bond and crawled over Sean Connery's manly bare chest. in the 'Dr. No' film. note: No verification of this ancestral claim to fame has ever been produced.

Still, it's nice to know the staff of Rumplations includes a member who may or may not be related to such a famous entity. Now who wants a drink to celebrate the 'star turn' of Terance's famous, if very distant, relative?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and TGIF HUGS to all who enter and aren't quick enough to dodge in time to avoid that fate.

For those lost in the ozone, tomorrow will be the last day in this year's version of October. Just so happens it will also be the deadline day for entries into the contests over on Stories Space. I have no idea if there is any sort of minimum votes and such though I doubt any exists. So do a good deed and get thee hence sometime this weekend. Coffee! The need for coffee is upon me. Anybody want a hit of the good stuff provided by Tonya and Big Bertha? And don't forget Curvy's brownies.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who suffer (and these days, who doesn't?) and enter Rumplations seeking surcease their from sorrow and thereby learn the true meaning of sorrow.

Martin, I'd extend sympathy for your plight but to have it going down in Paris with Inez would, imo, make the gesture a tad beside the point, or something like that. And in the words of former NYC mayor Fiorella LaGuardia, let us face our fate with, ""Perseverance and fortitude" to which I'd add, plus good food and a boon companion which can make enduring the unendurable downright endurable.

So, yesterday I was going on about sleeping all night. Next time I'll try to remember to knock wood. But it least it has given me the time to savor a mug full of Big Bertha's blessed brew and one of those fancy crescent rolls Ms Tonya has so generously provided.
Me, I'm grabbing some of Big Bertha's blessed brew and go sit with Coma and Tose and meditate on life and all that jazz. Anybody wanna grap a mug full and join us are welcome just be careful to not sit on Terance.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and Hump Day HUGS to all. This is being typed (keyboarded?) by someone who actually slept all night and woke at 6:00 this morning. In the immortal words of John Denver, 'Far out!'

Carl may have just posted the most perfect such missive in the history of this cesspit of literary pretensions. So if it's all right with y'all, and even if it ain't, instead of my own personel and mindless bloviations, I'll just intone: What Carl just said, me, too.

Have a good day the Rumplations way. Anybody need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Just learned that the legendary Jerry Jeff Walker moved on last week. While I'm sad, considering his no-holds-barred life-style, it's a goodness that we had him into his 70's..
The life-style included stealing a cop cycle at an outdoor concert where he was to play, then drving it into a concession stand and landing on his back on top of the hamburger grill. A few minutes later he walked onstage, dirty coat and all.

Another bit of JJ Walker lore it that way back when, President Carter's irreverent kid brother, Billy, was asked during an interview what he would most like to do. He said, "Go hear Jerry Jeff Walker in concert."

When the interviewer mentioned that there was always a Jerry Jeff concert somewhere or other, Billy replied, "Oh, I've been to several of his concerts. But so far, he's been a no-show at every one. Someday I'd love to actually hear him live in concert

No doubt BC had one of his trademark 'bad boy' teasing grins plastered on his face at the time.

Carl, with all my new-fangled computer stuff, I'm still struggling to get the hang of posting music so if you'd do the honors, I'd be much oblidged. BTW, 'LA Freeway' is my fav but I like 'em all.

I'll drink to the late great Jerry Jeff. Who wants to join in the toast?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all good Rumplators and big HUGS to all the bad ones.

Over on the Stories Space site (aka Sacre Bleu') I've committed a grievous assault on good taste and English letters with a contest entry, 'Commuting To An Unplanned Future'. Here's the link

https://www.storiesspace.com/stories/general/-commuting-to-an-unplanned-future-.aspx

Not really pimping for votes so much as feedback from my fellow scribblers and readers of smutty script. I'm encouraged by Larry and Scott leaving comments which did not mention their being sickened by the reading experience. So give it a try.

Got a hunch Curvy and/or Tonya just binged on board so I'll wait with Xander for themto produce the goodies for which they are so justly renowned. BTW, anybody want a drink?
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