Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
RumpleForeskin
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 79
0 miles · Phoenix
Profile Stories
43
Ebooks Friends
61
Follows
84
Forum
6.7k
Groups
1

Forum
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes for a glorious Hump Day to all who hump to please whether they prefer being humpers or the humped.

Just checked on the contest entries. With ten days to the deadline, something like 24 hardy souls have submitted, their entries, that is.


Carl, enjoyed your info on the sports and matrimonial scene in K.C. although those pesky Indians should be ashamed of the way they treated your Royals, imo. ;


Once I've located my beloved 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug, I'm gonna fill that rascal up to the near or there abouts, grab a handful of brownies and wait for the sun to also rise at 6:02 am (desert time) while hoping Tawny or some othe lovely Rumplator decides to take a morning dip in the dumpster hot tub. Who wants a drink? Plentry of chairs out on the back porch. Y'all come, so to speak.
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and HUGS to all, especially those wanting to celebrate the first day of September.

Looking forward to checking out the new story by Chris. Congrats to Carl and Sara on wins by the Royals and Braves. As for Verbal's Metropolitan baseball team (The Mets), sorry about that.

Thanks to the combined efforts of Curvy, Big Bertha, and Carl, coffee, hot water and brownies are available for immediate partaking. It's a temptation no one need resist. So who else needs a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
MEGA-EXCITING NEWS!
Your scruffy barkeep had a haircut this morning his first shearing since early March. ;)

MORE MEGA-EXCITING NEWS!!
Your befuddled barkeep finished his first online 'puter training from the VA. I'm now back to the basics of word processing.

Scott popped int earlier today. Maybe not mega-exciting but still a goodness.

I'll drink to all that!!! Got sweet ice tea for Sara and a beer for Curvy Anybody else need a drink or two or more?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and HUGS to all with Curvy and Big Bertha in the lead-off positions while Carl is, no doubt, getting his big bat ready. ;)

Not sure if the official Rumplations celebration today should be this particular Monday mourning being the last day of August or September Eve. No bad choice either way, IMO.

I'd follow the example of Trump's recent 71-minute bloviation and and pontificate even longer but coffee and brownies are calling. So I'm gonna get me some of that goodness and join Coma and Tose in a discussion of life's mysteries such as the infield fly rule. Anybody want some of the same?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and HUGS to all who answer to the Rumplations' 'sick call' even if it's with a somewhat less than cheery, 'Fuck off!'.Martin, being sick is a drag, but short of it happening while housebound in an apartment with a balcony overlooking a clothes optional beach your being stuck in Paris with Ines as a roommate is hard to beat. You guys get mo' better real soon like. Y'all hear me, now?

Our morning doves have done their 'thang'. Thanks to Tonya and Big Bertha, coffee, hot water and maybe even some of Curvy's brownies are with us in a cyber sort of way.

Chris mentioned how his muse has not been musing in anything resembling an effective manner. While suitable sympathy is hereby extended, I'm here to tell y'all I feel the pain. Me, my muse has vanished while on an extended sabbatical in one of those countries with a name ending in'...stan' and left no electronic nessaging links or even landing instructions for carrier pigeon service.. (sigh)

Time for coffee and, with luck, a brownie or two. Anybody else need something of a fluid nature?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and HUGS to all, especially the awesome Ms Curvy and her side-kick in caffine creation, Big Bertha.

Mega-congrats to Verbal for his Mets sweeping a double-header vs their cross-town rivals, the Yankees.

Wish I could say the same about Carl''s KC Royals but sad to say, they were playing the White Sox instead of the Yankees and instead of winning, well, let's just say they did not. So there may be a doughnut shortage around here today.

While the USA is still losing more than 1000 citizens a day to C-19 and the Trump administration (aka The Gang That Couldn't... -- feel free to fill in the blank) is still infesting the White House, there's still a chance something sorta like college and pro football may begin next month. Oh, let it be.

Not having kept up on contest entries, I am even more clueless than usual about them. A quick info dump on that issue would be most depreciated.

Coffee and brownies are calling. Think I'll grab of mug full of Big Bertha's benevolent brew along with a handful of Curvy's brownies and go sit on the back porch and wait for someone to dive into the dumpster hot tub. Anybody else want a drink and/or a brownie?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes for a TGIF & EEOC (end of convention) celebration that will be well worth remembering if only you could. ;)

Grateful we are to Curvy and Big Bertha for their 'Top of the Weekend' setup, and to Carl for today's ration of doughnuts and musical selection. (parenthetical query: should Led Zeppelin be classified as 'Steam Punk'?).

And happy we are for TG's 'happy days' with those girls of hers.

A bountiful brunch of Big Bertha coffee, Curvy brownies, and Fuzzy doughnuts await me. Anyone else need a drink and/or maybe a nibble?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Evening ladies. Here's a beer for Curvy and a tall glass of sweet ice tea for Sarah. Jeff and Terrance finished off the Mule Head. I had planned on 'borrowing' some of Carl's Buffalo Trace last night but he's got the few bottles left all hidden away. I'm just hoping the sacred and ceremonial lava lamp can be patched up enough to let its feeble light illuminate the back bar.

So, anybody else need a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Hey, Curvy, did you get those two shot glasses at the end of the bar I left for Jeff? There had been three, all filled filled with 'mule Head Whiskey' and like I said, there were three of them. But after finishing the third, the Verbal unit got all worked up (probably had to do with the GOP convention but who knows?) and tossed that third glass into the bars big fireplace. Only problem being the bar ain't got no fireplace. (sigh) The good news is he missed the lava lamp which was, as always turned on.

Hi ya, Chris! Hi ya, Chris!

Carl, sorry about the Royals losingwhich means the rest of us have lost today's ration of doughnuts. , As the Right Rev always mumbles, "A day without doughnuts is a most unholey day. Fortunately Curvy has come through with her immaculate brownies which are, of course, a blessing."

Okay, so who needs a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes for the folks in my home state who, along with their neighbors in southeast Texas, are waiting for the sunrise to find out how much damage Laura has done.

Martin, best wishes to your daughter on her new job and hope thing settle down a bit in Hong Kong.

Vanessa, Pingster, Sarah, and Jeff,here's hoping life does right by y'all.

Coffee's on! That's because Big Bertha has been washed, rinsed, filled with coffee and water and then turned on. The kettle is filled with hot water for our tea sippers. With any luck, Curvy and Carl will drop by soon and leave some goodies. So whadda ya wanna drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings from the cranky old fart behind the bar. Just for the record and please excuse the strong language:

DIRTY BRACAFRACKING DAB-NAB-IT ALL TO HECKY DARN!

I mean to say at 4:30 (AM, as in way-too-damn-early) the temp was 91 here in the desert.

And then there's the 'Liar's Fest' doing business as the GOP convention.

And then I have to login, once again, when I try to slip in through the email notices 'back door'. Coming in the front door, so to speak, works, so far.

And then once inside by way of that front door, I'm reminded there are Rumplators like Tonya and Grace who have 'real' things to bitch about. (sigh)

So I'm gonna get me a mug full of the coffee Tonya and Big Bertha have concocted, grab a doughnut or two thanks to Carl and his Royals, then go sit a spell with Coma and Tose and chew the fat about metaphysics or some such. Anybody else want a drink of something or other?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this, yet another tawdry Tuesday here inside, Rumplations, the leading oasis of old world culture and charm in the land of Lush.

The Pingster, in a no doubt heartfelt message of consolation to Grace imparted the following wisdom:

Ping, he said to, Grace: Some say that laughter is the best medicine. Wrong. A hot cup of coffee, an apple fritter, and a blow job always work for me. But don't do it while I'm eating my apple fritter or you'll get icing sugar in your hair, and I just might spill my coffee. That'll ruin anybody's morning.

With those inspiring words in mind, Big bertha has been given a heapin' helpin' of dark roast coffee, water that is certifiably 100% wet and then turned on (don't ask) Of course her bottom settlement sludge has been set aside for the serious caffine addicts among us and the tea kettle is dettling in a most promising way.

BTW, there's a platter of apple fritters waiting for those into that sort of thing. So we got: coffee, check -- fritters, check -- the rest is up the y'all.

So who wants some coffee or tea or something a bit more robust?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes for a safe and, if possible, also sane week during the four-day GOP convention featuring The Donald every dang night. Be brave and/or grateful you're not in the US of A right now.

It's times like this that an old blind barkeep feel real sympathy for any the non-drinking, teetotaling, abstainers.

And speaking of drinking, the bars selection of bleers, whines, and fine lickers are a unique taste sensation. Those needing a bit more caffine are encourage to try the blessed brew Big Bertha has provided. For the tea and hot chocolate crowd, the kettle is hot and full.

So whadda ya wanna drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, huge HUGS and a chorus of 'Hang in there! to Tonya, Curvy, and Big Bertha and to all who enter wondering what the heck our morning doves have been up to.

This weekend I vow (the right Rev fusses if I swear an oath) to catch up on my contest reading over here and on recent posts over at 'Sacre Bleu' or as it's more prosaicly known, 'Stories Space'.

Now please pardon lil' ol' moi while I fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug to the brim with the ambrosia doing business as, Big Bertha's Coffee'. A handful of Curvy's brownies would also seem advisable. So anybody else need a a drink or nibble?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this most inauspicious TGIF type day. Many thanks to our 'morning doves' (Tonya, Curvy, and Big Bertha) for giving the rest of us a set-up that's well worth sitting up for.

Told y'all Chris had posted an RR worthy story. And if one doesn't show up, then no doubt the even more prestigious RRR (Rumplation Recommended Read) will be making an appearance. ;)

Recently, notifications of posts here have not been showing up on my inbox. Something like that has happened before, of course. But what with my new computer and software upgrades, and maybe some of the tinkering 'under the hood' by Gav and company, I'm even more confused than usual. So I'm wondering if it's just me or have others experienced the same thing.

Think a mug of hot coffee from Big Bertha might melt some of the crud off what's left of my brain. Combine that with a Curvy brownie or two and you've got a breakfast to remember. So anybody else need a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, just a quick pop-in to announce the new story by ChrisM is now on or dang near the top of the list. Me, I haven't read it -- yet -- but a bad Chris story is even rarer than a good joke from your beloved blind barkeep.

HUGS for Tonya.

Anybody besides me want/need/crave a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all, especially those who enter after being thrown out of the 'Power of Positive Thinking' seminar being held down the street in the corner pool hall.

Best I can tell, this is the first day in a way-to-hell-too-long time that with the exception of Sarah's bum leg, had no downer details. Nothing like some rest and sweet ice tea to get that leg back into butt-kicking shape. ;)

A tip of the old sombrero to TG for rescuing that baby turtle.

Pingster, read somewhere that the Charger sold at auction for 3.4 million. Cheap at twice the price, especially if it comes with Jacquline Bissett. Yeah, I guessed at the spelling of her name. So sue me.

Tonya, Curvy and Carl have gotten things cranking.

There will be more downer days to come, of course, but let's enjoy this upper while we can. Me, I'm gonna celebrate with a mug full of Big Bertha's ambrosia and a few Curvy brownies. Anybody else need some of this goodness?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Kenny, if my LSU Tigers or New Orleans Saints are playing outdoors in December, then that coat is ME.

It's raining in Phoenix, slap dab in the middle of the Valley of the Sun. Please advise.

Book-wise, I'm moving back and forth between a bio of Mussolini by Dennis Smith and Mary Trump's book about her uncle, old #45, and the rest of that dysfunctional family. While these are not Stephen King horror stories, the similarities between the late unlamented Italian dick-tator 'and our own 'little tater' is scary.

Need a drink to settle my nerves before getting back to both books. Anybody else need one or two?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this immoral Moanday mourning. Stopped by the Rage Cage while on my way here. Simmi is having what sounds like a serious anxiety attack. Kimmi' has already given her some great advice to which I added my 'Amen' but a few more hugs wouldn't hurt.

Not that there aren't folks around here with more troubles on their plate than to grown-ups could shake hands over, but this is, Simplicity.

HUGS x a bunch.

Tonya, a multitude of thanks for today's setup. Good music this morning thanks to Carl and Curvy has been Curvy which is a blessing.

Big Bertha's coffee is calling. Y'all take care of each other and of your very own self. Which reminds me, anybody out there need a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
What -- I say, what in the name of the great if regrettably late, Mickey Spillane is going on around here?

Who's this Kenny character and has he had all of his shots? I'd ask if he's house broken but considering the condition of the floors after this weekend, well, no worries. ;)

(shakes head, grabs a couple long-neck Shiners from the bottom of the chiller, then heads for the stock room while shouting) Settle down Tawny. I'm coming or will be soon. Oh, almost forgot to ask, anybody else eed a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all and a special welcome,Spunky, to the biggest little honky-tonk in the land of Lush.

What with one thing and another, I'm wondering if Rumplations doesn't need to have a motto. While all types of input are welcome, of course, may I suggest:

Illegitimi non carborundum (roughly translated from the pig-Latin as, 'Don't let the bastards get you down' or something sorta like that.

BTW, depression is a bitch but these days it's what passes for 'normal'. That is to say, if you ain't depressed, you're nuts.

Big Bertha's coffee is calling me as are the treats Curvy and Carl have provided. Anybody else need some of this goodness?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Hi y'all are? Just got my new 'puter back from the repair shop complete with a new hard drive. Now I'm back to trying to figure out how to deal with Windows 10, an updated screen reader (JAWS) and MS-Word that's not my old familiar 2013 version (sigh) .

Sarah, glad I am to hear things went smoothly yesterday. Please be sure to tell Carl that those sprinkly doughnuts were untouched by me mainly on account as how you got to them first. (sigh x 2)

Time for some overindulgence of some fluids. Anybjody else need a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Hold on, y'all! I've just had the sort of brain fart that could knock a buzzard off a gut wagon.

Here's the deal. Scott, or somebody else who's at least partially sober, get the popcorn machine working. Meanwhile, maybe Tonya or Carl can dust off their Betamax and get it hooked up to the bar's big 19" Philco TV while Verbal goes through his film library looking for our double-feature, like, maybe a couple classice such as the original 'Godzilla' and Bela Lugosi last film, 'Plan 9 From Outer Space. Heck, I might even consider including my prized copy of Jayne Mansfield's nudie flick, 'Promises, Promises' if anyone is interested in a little after-hours entertainment.

What a plan! I'm so impressed I'll drink to that. Anybody else need a splash of the good stuff?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Tonya, she wrote:
Just heard on the news that if you have AMC theater near you on Thursday they are having 1920 prices. You can see whatever they decide to play for fifteen cents. Jeff I was thinking of you and LJ when I saw the story.

Me, I quibbled: Just a note of warning to all the Rumplators who are movie buffs. While I was not, I say again, NOT, there when it happened, the first talking movie, 'The Jazz Singer' was released in 1927 (yeah, I ran a quick google). So those eager to take advantage of this 'deal' by AMC, might approach with caution. Besides, as Chris pointed out, there's no garuntee the ticket price include the traditional 'live' entertainment? ;)

Time for some liquid overindulgence. Anybody else want a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and HUGS along with a shout of, TGIF! Truth be told, in actual matter-of-fact, what I really want to shout is, TGI2021! But, (sigh), that great getting up moment is still 136 days away.

That's the bad news. The good news is both Tonya and Curvy have reported in for setup duty. Tonya, once again your Littley story has made this cranky old cramudgeon smile.. My thanks to you three ladies.

Of course, the day would not be the same without the ernest efforts of Big Bertha. A mug of her classic coffee along with some of Curvy's brownies should make things seem much mo' better. ;)

So anybody else need something to drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Sara has headed north on a family visit so there should be more than enough sweet iced tea to go around. Slides a quart jar full of the stuff in the general direction of our Cornhusker. ;)Anybody else in need of some fluid replacement?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings lovers of the Lush life and happy trails to, Sarah and Martin, our traveling Rumplators.

And speaking of traveling, I was noseing around, checking out some time travel stories, you know, looking for some idea to steal, I mean, use for inspiration, when, on youTube, I came across the time travel story that most impressed me back when and still does. So I highly recommend you invest half an hour or so in checking out: The Odessey of Flight 33, by some guy by the name of Rod Serling. ;) It first showed up on 'The Twilight Zone' back in 1961 and is both great writing and a culture and customs look way back when flight attendents were called stewardesses and the five member cockpit crew on the early model 707 were all white guys.

There's also a short story audible version by Serling available . IMO, on either version, the dialogue along is worth the time.

Carl, looking forward I am to coffee made with water from the mighty Kaw River. That, plus a doughnut or two (congrats on the Royals' win) should set me up until snack time.

TG, be of good cheer. I'm told that most house pest eventually vanish, sooner or later, probably. My chore for the day will be to get my 'new' computer with its even newer hard drive up and running. Crossed fingers, good wishes and positive vibes will be appreciated

Now to sample the ambrosia Carl and Big Bertha have provided for our caffeinated enjoyment. Anybody else need a drink?

.
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Jeff, you done did good. Mega-thanks and congrats on a job well done.

Tangi has a mug full of sludge-fortified coffee waiting on her. Anybody else need a drink? Whether it's a nightcap like she's having or a more traditional evening beverage, So whadda ya want?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
GRACE! Good it is to have you back among us. Just had a brilliant idea, or maybe just another brain fart, but to kill time while you're healing up, consider entering the new Time Travel contest. Your protag has gone front'ards or back'ards in time due to the bite of some sorta deadly but rare type of spider. To get back to wherever and whenever they roamed, pre-bite, the good looking (a hunk or a honey or both)bug person the protag meets says the only hope for a return ticket is to be bitten by another one of those spiders.

That's the most brain activity I've had in some time so I'm gonna lay down and catch up on my Lush reading. Anybody wanna drink before I move from the verticle to the horizontal?
View Post