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RumpleForeskin
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 79
0 miles · Phoenix

Forum

Greetings and best wishes to all would-be wanton weekend wenches and wenchers.

There's no better way to start the weekend than with Rumplations updated version of the famous nekkid female painting, 'The Three Graces' featuring Tonya, Curvy, and Big Bertha. .

Having obtained a mug full of Big Bertha's blessed aromatic brew, I'll grab a bag of fried pork skins and go sit on the back porch. Who knows, Tonya might take it into her head to go skinny dipping this morning.

Anybody want something to sip and/or nibble upon, so to speak?

Not complaining, you understand, but after bouncing around from pillar to post thanks to my new HP Pavillion computer CRASHING on me, complete with the dreaded 'blue screen of death', I manage to get my old workhorse back online, then like a Martin to its box, I come to the number one ranked (rankest?) honky-tonk on the great info highway in search of cheap booze, a few kind words, maybe even a bit of cuddles and sympathy, and what do I get but this info dump by our dumpmeister in chief --

Ping, he wrote: I smell a poetry contest in the shifting winds. Or, it could be Verbs. Beer and peanuts will do that to a fella's guts.

Thanks, Mr. G., I needed that. ;)

Congrats to all the baseball winners. Losers can be comforted knowing their team is only one game out of first place. I'll drink to that. Anybody else need a shot of, 'Surcease From Sorrow'? Tonya says it's the whiskey that helps Baltimore endure the Orioles.

Thanks to Larry and Vanessa, I've finally remembered to mention the queen city of bats, Austin, Texas. They are a tourist attraction during summer evenings. While there are caves aplenty around Austin town, these bats live under a bridge spanning the lake that is featured on many picture postcards. When they come swarming out, folks are lined up on the lake's shore and in boats out on the lake' placid water to share in the moment. Not sure about this one, but the town's minor league hockey team either is or was named, The Ice Bats.

And before you ask, NO, I'm not making that up.

ets: For those wanting more info or who doubt my post, here's a blurb from Google so it must be true. Right?

The Austin Bats are Austin's most popular visitor attraction. The Congress Avenue bridge spans Lady Bird Lake in downtown Austin and is home to the largest urban bat colony in North America known as the Congress Bridge Bats. This colony is estimated at 1.5 million Mexican free-tail bats.

Time for a refill. Anybody else need something or other?

Greetings and best wishes to the baseball fans among us for today they'll hear that most blessed cry: PLAY BALL! ;)

For Rumplators, at least the ones this side of the pond, the big event is the wager between super Mets fan, Jeff, and mighty Braves supporter, Sarah, on the outcome of today's Braves vs Mets game. Me, I'll be checking out several while spending most of my time on the game between the NY Yankees and the defending World Series champs, The Nationals, from Washington, D.C...

And now, back to the bar's regularly unscheduled blathering. Tonya and Big Bertha have combined to set the rest of us up with a fine, set-up. Now that Tonya has discovered the ID of the 'Lush Kitty Army' I'm sure she'll be able to rest on her laurels and/or go one-on-one with her medicos.

Now let us gather around Big Bertha and accept her blessed brew. Anybody want/need/crave some of her good stuff?

Best I recall, the original post was about TV series that were as good at the end as in the beginning. If that misses the mark, sue me. Anyway, putting on my cranky old fart cap, the finale to M*A*S*H (1983 - 11th season) set some sort of ratings record at the time.

Up here on the north side of the equator it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. To celebrate these lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer, there's a big washtub out of the back porch filled with crushed ice and bottles of Belcher's Best Beer and cans of Lone Star beer. (it ain't Belcher's Best but then, what is?) Be sure to put the charge on someone else's tab and enjoy. Oh yeah, there may be a bottle or two of wine hiding down near the bottom. Your choice.

Greetings to all who enter and best wishes for a Hump Day beyond compare. Tonya, are you sure that young gal of yours ain't ain't in actual matter-of-fact going on nineteen? Just asking. ;)

Luca, glad to have you stop by to impart a little media info and opinions, especially since, unlike most Rumplators, you actually seem to know what you're going on about. Come back real soon like.

Carl, didn't know you served time at Ft. Knox. My stateside vita lists only Ft. Polk (La) and Ft. Benning. BTW, many thanks for not messing up all the good work of Tonya and Big Bertha -- at least not much.

Now please pardon me while I procure a mug full of Big Bertha's blessed brew. Anybody else need a drink?

Greetings - Here are your contest winners.

Nic,, she wrote:
Here are the winning entries. Congratulations to Tam, Rach and Fuzzyblue on your placings:

1st Place ($200): Stone Butch, by tams_back_yay
2nd Place ($125): Smoke Signals, by sprite
3rd Place ($75): Sometimes I Wonder If My Behaviour Is Considered Normal, by fuzzyblue

These wonderfully written stories made up the Top 10:

Away Above The Chimney Tops, by clum
Yellow, Blue, Green and Red. Orange, Purple; and Black too., by CuriousAnnie
Summer of '88, by vanessa26
Finding Love on the Other Side, by techgoddess
Born On The 12th Of July, by deviantsusie
Dances With Lions, by sandy2moon
Uncaging Our Hearts, by KimmiBeGood

x x x
IMO, this was most definitely not a contest for the adverb prone writing with 'their well-used copy of Strunk & White' within easy reach. Major congrats to all the winners.

Time to imbibe some of the fine coffee Big Bertha and Tonya has created while gutting down a few doughnuts and brownies.

Anybody wanna drink?

Rumple (that's me, wrote the following last night but now it's on the previous page, at least on my 'puter, and since it's about Dark Side's new story and he just showed up today and didn't even ask for his free beer, well, that's why I'm reposting it. So there.

Just a quick story suggestion. All would-be authors and anyone else who just likes to read fine filthy fiction, should check out:

A Way With Words, by Dark Side

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/-a-way-with-words-.aspx

It so impressed me, DS now has a standing offer of a free beer the next time he stops by. ;)

Which reminds me -- who the hell wants a drink or coffee or tea or some fine lickers?

?
Greetings to all Moanday mourning early risers and those of us who didn't sleep at all last night.

Fuzzy, you hit a home run with today's setup. Feel free to stockpile a variety of doughnuts to go with Curvy's brownies and my fried pork skins.

Vanessa, has your car been rechristened, The Bat Mobile? Nice gesture on your part
to bury the poor batty thing.

So whadda y'all think about starting a movement to change the name of the Darwin Awards to The Trump Awards?

Martin, remember well and bear in mind that 'pack and move' are four-letter words. Approach with caution. ;)

Any word about contest results?

Coffee's calling. Anybody else need some of Big Bertha's ambrosia?

Evening to all gathered together to girdle their loins in anticipation of Moanday mourning.

Just a quick story suggestion. All would-be authors and anyone else who just likes to read fine filthy fiction, should check out:

A Way With Words, by Dark Side.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/-a-way-with-words-.aspx

It so impressed me, DS now has a standing offer of a free beer the next time he stops by. ;)

Which reminds me -- who the hell wants a drink?

Evening and a big 'How's by y'all?' to one and/or all. Sarah, here's your Tailgatter.

Curvy, that's a most righteous list. When putting my own 'stars' list together I kept imagining, Diane Cilento, in her role as 'Tom Jones' eating partner but just couldn't pass on the sultry Ava Gardner.

Got you a big mug of beer as your reward for a job well done. Anybody else need a drink?

Greetings and best wishes for a safe and sane Saturday stuffed with a surplus of sinfully sensuous and satisfying sex. In other words, just another typical day in the life of Rumplators.

Curvy, you and Big Bertha are both hereby awarded mega cyber HUGS for today's set-up.

Looking forward to your list of folks to play the roles in the upcoming 'Tobias' film. Once upon a time, a friend and I competed to come up with the worst possible cast for 'Cat on a Hot Tin Roof'. We thought the ultimate 'bad' casting was: Karen Valentine as Maggie, Don Knots as Brick, and Dom DeLuise(sp?) as Big Daddy.

But then a made-for-TV version came out with Natalie Wood as Maggie, Robert Wagner as Brick and (I'm not making this up, honest) Laurence Olivier as Big Daddy.

Anyway, here's hoping you keep your casting couch busy and in good working order. ;)

It's time to stop talking and start sippin' and snackin' on the goodies Curvy and Big Bertha have provided for us. So whadda ya escapees from the shallow end of the literary gene pool wanna drink?

Following Curvy's subtle little hint (see her last post) here is a cast list for 'Tobias' that includes only 'stars' who have already departed this vale of tears.

* - appeared in 'Young Frankenstein'

** appeared in 'Golden Girls'


Tobias: Gene Wilder *

Lucy: Elizabeth Montgomery

Megs: Ava Gardner

Betty: Madeline Kahn *

Tom: Marty Feldman *

Fifi:Joan Blondell

Mrs Whitmore: Bea Arthur **

The Housekeeper: Estelle Getty **

The Church Warden: Boris Karloff

Oh, that this could be so. ;)

Okay, all right already, Curvy has her beer. Anybody else wanna drink, you know, to maybe toast my unique 'Tobias' cast list?

Greetings and TGIF eve best wishes to all who do and to those who don't but wish they were.

It is a goodness to learn TG is thriving in Michigan and that Tonya is gettin' by in Neuvo Jersey. You two keep on keeping on.

Me, I've finished the history of the last year of WW II "Armageddon" by Max Hastings. At the risk of spoiling the ending for some, the Germans lost, big time.

Why is it it learning some Rumplators are considering a 'Monster' casting call for 'Tobias, the film' comes as no surprise. Just one STRONG suggestion, any list that does not feature Boris Karloff as The Church Warden will not be viewed (so to speak) with approbation by your beloved blind barkeep. Just a warning to the wise. ;)

Coffee and doughnuts are a reason to give thanks while grabbing some of both. Many thanks to Curvy and Carl for this positive contribution to life as we'd like it to be here in the lands of Lush. Anybody else wanna share -- I'll let Lush ladies have the first bite.

Greetings in a Hump Day sorta way, to all who manage to make it inside. Ms Curvy Betty, you are hereby given a 'Goodness' gold star in recognition of you and Big Bertha getting things rolling. And before you ask, yes, Big Bertha also got a gold star.

Martin, as Curvy mentioned, there ain't no stinkin' rules to this contest. I'm about to do another list featuring the cast of 'Young Frankenstein' and I've thought about casting actors who are all alike in that they're dead.

One thing I'd kinda like somebody to do is a casting call open to any Lushlanders perceptive Rumplators might want to put in the contest's spotlight.

Now that I've blathered a bit, time to fill the mug with BB's beatific brew, grab a brownie or two and go sit outside on the back porch and wait for the birds to go nuts at sunrise. (Yeah, I know, kicks just keep getting harder to find.) Anybody else want a drink?

Lush 'characters' selected to play the roles of the following characters in the LUSH Studios production of, 'TOBIAS: the movie'.

Tobias: Green Man
Lucy: Vanessa
Meg: meggsy
Betty: Curvy
Tom: Verbal
Fifi: Sprite
Mrs Whitmore: Tonya
The Vicaridge Housekeeper: Grace
The Church Warden: Fuzzy

Now I pity anyone loitering between me and Big Bertha. Anybody else need a drink -- or maybe two?

Greetings on this Moanday mourning and all that jazz. Y'all pay attention to what follows 'cause it iss

*** MIND-BOGGELINGLY IMPORTANT ! *** (no kidding)

One of the many superior elements of Curvy's OS award-winning 'Tobias' series was the numerous characters she created and then fleshed out, so to speak, in a most admirable way.

In the midst of some late-night Rumple ruminations, it occured to me that what this joint needs is a fun, just for the hell of it, contest. And it follows as day doth the night that a 'Tobias' based contest might be jus the thing.

So let me be the first to present:

TOBIAS: the Lush series, the proposed film, the Curvy-approved contest

Here's the shaky premise:Nic and Company have decided Lush's newly inaugerated on-line ssteaming movie studio (name yet to be determined) is going to produce a major cheap video for the proposed Land of Lush Archives. It will be based, rather loosely, on Curvy's 'Tobias' series. Therefore, all would-be movie moguls are encouraged, even challenged, to come up with a list of Lushers to play the roles of Curvy's creative characters.

A second list for the names of Hollywood celebrities and other well known, People magazine-type non-Lushers should also be cobbled together just in case some Lusher becomes a no-show and/or threatens legal action

Those accepting this contest challenge should: 1. copy Curvy's lists of characters, 2. write-i'n the names of the Lush soon-to-be famous and the Non-Lushers destined for even greater things, 3. post them here for the edification of all.

Now don't ask about rules 'cause 'this is Rumplations where rule come to die and/or pass out drunk. The same goes for queries about prizes and who will judge this foolishness.

- - -

Here's Curvy's two lists of characters for the 'film project'. writing -in the name(s) of other story character(s) is a big A-OK.

'Tobias' characters in need of Lush actors
(fill in the blank)

The Rev Tobias Whitmore: befuddled young vicar and 18th century babe-magnet

Lucy: comely but confused 'nice' girl

Meg: heart-of-gold courtesan and the Rev's. fuck-buddy

Betty: another courtesan and Meg's close, bi-buddy

Tom: older brother, Army officer and ne'er-do-well

Fifi: claims to be an 'opera dancer and is Tom's 'not-quite-a-lady

Mrs. Whitmore: strong-willed mother of Tom and Tobias

The Housekeeper: cranky, nosy, casual cleaner and cook

The Warden: officious, pushy, tedious

- - -

'Celebrity' list
(fill in the blank)

The Rev Tobias Whitmore: befuddled young vicar and 18th century babe-magnet

Lucy: comely but confused 'nice' girl

Meg: heart-of-gold courtesan and the Rev's. fuck-buddy

Betty: another courtesan and Meg's close, bi-buddy

Tom: older brother, Army officer and ne'er-do-well

Fifi: claims to be an 'opera dancer and is Tom's 'not-quite-a-lady

Mrs. Whitmore: strong-willed mother of Tom and Tobias

The Housekeeper: cranky, nosy, casual cleaner and cook

The Warden: officious, pushy, tedious

x x x

BTW, Big Bertha has been scrubbed down, filled with spring water and dark roast coffee then left to be turned on by the next Rumplator to come stumbling in. Oh yeah, the tea kettle is filled and ready for some serious kettling.

So whadda ya lay-abouts wanna drink?

Evening, Sarah. All the cool kids must be hangin' at Carl's place celebrating his birthday. Any excuse will do, I suppose ;) No doubt our invites got lost in the email.

Anyway, here's your big cold iced tea. Enjoy.

(Leans closer, unaware Sarah has simultaneously leaned away, and whispers.) Just between you and me and Terance, a new for-Rumplators-only contest will start tomorrow which should have folks flocking in here, even the ones who have started to sober up. It might not be as big as our micro fiction contest, but it just might be as much fun.

Hope this news doesn't keep you from a good night's sleep.

Anybody else need a drink -- I mean, besides me?

Ms Curvy! What's with this insinuation that Rumplators actually pay the charges on their own tabs? :O I mean to say we got our standards, you know. Granted, there aren't many and those miserable few tend to get broken and/or ignored most of the time -- but we DO have standards, sorta. ;)

As for keeping Nic in the dark about your much-deserved award, well, the contest is now officially closed so odds are she'll be a bit distracted the next few day doing whatever it is she and the mods who have been roped into being contest judges do for kicks.

anyway, who needs a drink?

Curvy's 'Tobias' series has just been designated by LUSH as an...

OUTSTANDING SERIES!!!!!


Now I'm wondering about the names, along with series titles, of other Rumplators who have also received that coveted award. (hint, hint)

Naturally celebratory drinks for the rest of the day will be put on Curvy's tab which means the tabs of Carl and Jeff. So whadda ya wanna drink?

Having raved about all ten installments in this series, it follows as night doth the day that IMO, this is a most rave-worthy reward for some great writing. Congrats, Cyn, on this recognition of your outstanding writing.
Greetings of a TGIF-nature to all Rumplators who do -- or don't.

Checked the contest entries about an hour ago. It was still open for business and Tonya's entry, #46, complete with its twenty or so comments, remains on top of the old submission's totem pole as the last one accepted.

And speaking of Ms T., in addition to everything else she has to handle, such as getting new parts smile, there's a tropical storm heading her way. Hang in there, lady.

For the vast multitude hanging on for a report on what's happening in my history of the last year of WWII in Europe -- well, let me tell you, dem Commies have done opened a big can of whup-ass on da fascists and rolled west from the Vistula to the Oder (d dem are rivers, I'm told). IMO, things are not looking good for the kraut-heads.

Thanks to the terrific trio of Tonya, Curvy, and Big Bertha, I'm about to enjoy a mug of coffee and a brownie or two. Anybody else need some sort of drink?

Beers for our guzzling gals, and a Tailgater for Sarah to celebrate getting her entry submitted (and accepted) before the deadline of doom arrives.

Just a brief, off topic note) word has it tomorrow the US Supreme Court will hand down its ruling on whether Trump must release his tax returns -- something he's fought for years. It should be interesting.

Of course that sort of news can't top baseball coming back. who knows how things will go, but at least it'll help break up the boredom, at least for sports fans.

And just in case you were wondering, the Russians are still on the Vistula because the author, Max Hastings, switched over to the western front. The Bulge is waiting. Why he tossed in a chapter on conditioning and weight loss is beyond me but he's one helluva writer so I'll be checking it out later.

Now anybody else need a drink?

Greetings and HUGS to all Rumplators. As usual, I'm a tad confused. This time it's about all the 'Gnome Garden' talk. I mean to say, ain't Gnome a four-letter word passing for a town up in Alaska and if it is, why is Tonya raising a garden up there. Maybe Master Jonathan can clear away some of the cobwebs of confusion littering my befuddled brain. ;)

Contest entries are now up to 39 with two days left until the official, no kidding, deadline of death Nic has set. You have been warned.

The fine product of Tonya and Big Bertha's efforts is calling me. Think I'll grab a brownie just to be polite, you understand, and then double-check the weather forecast for this neck of the desert. Word has it 116f is predicted for this weekend. Drinks, both hot and cold are available. So whadda ya wanna drink?

Two beers coming up. You 'ladies' will have to decide who gets what.

Seeker, this is strictly my humble opinion, but it appears the Poles are most definitely out of the game.

TG, you want me to use Polish vodka in your Long Islander?

Anybody else need a drink before I fire up my reading machine and get back to the chapter, 'Interesting Times on the Old Vistula'.

Jeff, your news flash on 'Iron Eyes Cody' has shattered all my illusions.

BTW and en re those 'Hearts' marathon back in your 'salad' days, have you ever read Stephen King's 'Hearts of Atlantus'? It's contains three linked novella's and imo are more gothic than horror. If you get a chance, try to listen to the audio version. It is one of the best examples of music enhancing a story I've ever come across and I listened to it decades ago.

And in the how bad has this c19 crap gotten category: the old Lone Star State will cancel this year's Texas State Fair'. It'll be the first time since WW II.

No Big Tex is tough but no state fair corn dogs is damn near a tragedy.

Anybody need a drink, especially after hearing that bombshell?

Greetings, he says quietly so as not to disturb Tonya the tired, and HUGS for all.

Thanks to her and Big Bertha, coffee is available along with Carl's doughnuts and Curvy's beatific brownies.

Curvy, your news about the passing of Ennio Morricone brought back memories of a time during the early days of my battle with higher education, when a group of us dorm rats got into a marathon card-game of 'Hearts'. The soundtrack to 'The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly' was one of the standards being played and re-played on the room's cheap stereo.

NEWS FLASH: the folks at Merriam-Webster have just declared 'IRREGARDLESS' to be a really and truly, honest-to-goodness word. That is all. You may now return to your irregularly scheduled literary loitering.

Time to pause in this prolixity irregardless of any desire to continue. Coffee, doughnuts and brownies are calling. Martin, here's your own java. Anybody else need a drink of something such as tea for TG?

Evening, y'all. It didn't hit 100 out here in the desert until 10:00 this morning. A cool snap, of sorts.

Is it just me or do we have more things to try and avoid thinking about these days than normal -- whatever that might be?

Think I'll read some of the new contest entries then curl up with my history of the last year of WW II in Europe . Somebody said the Germans lost. Could be. At the moment the Russians are still in Poland and Patton hasn't pissed in the Rhine. I'll keep y'all posted if anything interesting happens. ;)

Greetings, complete with HUGS, and best wishes for an endurable Moanday are hereby extended to all who have or might soon enter. All that comes with a plea for a mug full of Big Bertha's elixir of life.

The contest entry list now has 30 contenders for Lush loot and glory. Deadline is this weekend. If the time hasn't come to turn off the old inner-editor and hit 'send', it's fast approaching.

Vanessa, sympathy is extended for your suffering. Although by genetics and heritage I'm a redneck who loathes zoning commissions, home owners associations and other forms of fascist contraventions of my inalienable right to be a total asshole when and wherever I damn well please, your story dang near brought a tear to my beer. ;)

It occurs to me that renting a few seriously big speakers, and using them to broadcast classical music (real loud-like) when those C&W loving goobers show up, might be an effective way to de-trash the creek..

If anyone has any other suggestion(s) for solving Vanessa's Bubba infestation, feel free to expound on it or them ASAP.

Hang in there, Ms V. No doubt help is on the way, probably.

Meanwhile, a refill of Big Bertha's blessed brew is a need that must be assuaged. Anybody else need something of a fluid nature?