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RumpleForeskin
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter, especially those seeking asylum from a troubled world on this 'Hump Day' only to discover this joint is more like the 'nut house' version of an asylum.

It's also 'Rescue Dog Day'. Do your part by rescuing any bitch or son of the same in need of a caring home -- and housebreaking.

Best wishes would still seem to be in order for Sara and her mother. Our Gill-unit is also in need of some positive vibes to go with the Nyquil she's taken.


Congrats to Carl for finally losing his 'cherry' -- contest variety, that is. And speaking of the current 100-Word Sprint, there are, at the moment, 64 entries with ten days to go.

Time for some more of the blessed brew Big Bertha and Curvy have prepare for public consumption. (What folks do with it in private is up to them and their marijuana suppository) So whadda yawanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Sara, your Tailgater (a double) is coming up. We're all pulling for you and your mother. Take care of yourself during this hospital time.

Scott, what we got is a glass of wine for you. Curvy gets her evening beer. Hannah and Jeff are, of course, both winners. Brown Coffee won the latest contest whhil Verbal won LJ. Vodka and lemonade are in their immediate futures.

Now anybody else need anything to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and welcome all to this scene of old world culture and charm doing business as, Rumplations. Tonya, a blessing on you and Big Bertha for the set-up, especially BB's bb (blessed brew). Carl, I'll be listening to your latest musical post on the old Wurlitzer soon as the dang morning doves and pigeons quiet down a bit.

It's Tuesday. Hope y'all get the hang of Tuesday or find something of a distracting nature to help you pass the time.

Anybody need a drink of something from our lusterous line-up of whines, bleers and fine lickers? If not, perhaps the products of Tonya and Big Bertha's joint efforts, that is to say classic coffee and hot water for tea might tempt you into indulging. And don't forget the bagels and doughnuts now available with Curvy's brownies no doubt on the way. So whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
The following is a FWIW type post submitted FYI.

https://thegrinder.diabolicalplots.com/
SUBMISSIONS GRINDER

"...a submission tracker and market database for writers of fiction and poetry." Taken from the site's home page.

Stumbled across this a few minutes ago. Haven't checked out anything but the home page, but Bsince the data base and tracker are free, thought some might want to take a look.

No need to shower me with thanks. Just another fine free service of, Rejections R Us, Inc. .

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Sweet mother-of-pearl, Annie! I was gonna suggest Ping try a double Whiskey Sour but after your recipes for an Alligator and a Screw, my suggestion seems pretty tame.

Would anything else assuage your needs? And a blessing to TG for those muffins. The two I've tried were great. Anybody else have a craving for something to help fight off the Blue Mondays?

AThe following musical interlude is dedicated to all who do and all who don't but not the ones who say, for you, no way. ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYEpVAXkiRw
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all dealing with yet another malign, misbegotten Monday mourning.

The caffine fairy must have stopped by earlier for Big Bertha is full of goodness and hot to trot while the kettle is ready to aid those in need of hot water for tea or coco. We're still a bit shy on goodies but it's Monday so whadda ya expect?

Me, I'm gonna fill my crusty old 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug and go sit out on the back porch. Before all that, any of you malign, misbegotten manuscript manglers want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Jim wrote: I have some downtime today and thought about writing a story for the comp. I just can't bring myself to do it. As former Navy and 3rd generation Military, I can't not think about what the Poppy has represented for so long. It makes me sad and I can't find a story in it anywhere. Maybe next comp.

Me, I replied: Roger that, Jim.

For anyone a bit hazy on the poem Jim was referring to, here's the opening lines to: In Flanders Field.



In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

If you want to read the whole thing -- take a moment to look it up.

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
A double-shot of Canadian rye whiskey by its own self in a more-or-less clean glass. Enjoy oh ye who will be suffering a bit of discomfort tomorrow. ;)

Anybody else want a drink so poor, soon to be aching, Seeker doesn't have to drink alone or with Coma and Tose or, even worse, everybody's favorite blind cyber barkeep? If so, whadda ya want?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
One tall Sara-style sweet ice tea for our SPOR
(sexual pirate of renown).

BTW, oh sage man of green, did you say something about seven entries being posted? You did? ?Well, speaking of typos, that earlier prediction of mine, you know, that one that showed up as, 125 ? Truth be told, that was just another one of my typos, honest. No doubt I must have meant, to type, 225. Yeah, that's it, no kidding. ;)

Anybody ready for a refill?

2882222One tall, cold sweet iced tea coming up of our SPOR
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
My thanks to Scott for correcting one of my oh-so-infrequent typos ;) and for the 'heads up' about that typewriter. Just wondering what sort it might be: a portable Olivetti type manual, an old desk model Underwood-type or even, unlikely though it might be, an IBM electric unit. Would you believe a damn long extension cord just out of view?

Best I recall: Scott craves a rye whiskey on the rocks, Sara feels the need for a large, cold, extra strong Margarita, Will is longing for Guinness as a chaser for some Jameson, and Jim, needs a big coffee to keep him alert, and here's a beer for our Unquenchable Curvy. Right or wrong, it's what you're gonna get so make the best of whatever it might be. Now, anybody else need a drink or two, maybe doubles?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
It is a major goodness to have the Green Man back among us. As for a total entry count, based on a wild ass guess (WAG) that some will get discouraged and/or run into tougher than expected 'quality control' by the mods,I'll go with 125.

And speaking of the Micro contest there are a few items Nic didn't include in her brief 'heads up' here.

1. The closing date is May 30.
2. For 'inspiration', there is a photo of two lovers in a poppy fieled.
3. No poems or so the couple better not be related, I suppose.

Now back to waiting for the results of the 'Mature' contest. Think I need a drink after all that. Anybody else need one?

;)
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all, a welcome to Chris, and heartfelt thanks to Tonya and Big Bertha (he says while finishing his first mug of BB's elixir)

And now, for some really big news. 'She who must be obeyed' (aka, Nicola) stopped by a bit earlier with the following earth shaking announcement.

Nic, she wrote: Psst … you heard it here first … word on the street has it a new competition is up.

Microfiction, 100 words, a single prize of $100: https://

Open to all-comers, "writers" or anyone who wants to give it a go!

Me, I replied: Let the good times roll.

Now before the rush of writers stampeding for their input devices of choice raises too much dust, I'll grab a refill from Big Bertha, and go hunker down with Coma and Tose. So what will y'all be wanting to drink -- once you've entered, that is?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who wander through the land of Lush only to come into this sink hole of depravity and then wonder why the hell they bothered.

Tonya and Big Bertha have done it again! And, imo, even when a day old, Curvy's brownies are a goodness. Those seeking some variety in their breakfast snacking might want to try some of the doughnut holes Tawny came back with late last night.

Okay, time to begin imbibing Big Bertha's ambrosia and maybe a brownie or two along with some of dem holes. Not being greedy, just taking care of the quality assurance this joint is famous for.

So whadda you licentious literary lay-abouts wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Evening, Ms Curvy (slides mug filled to the brim with something sorta like beer).

All praise to Curvy for coming in here for the first time all day, leaves brownies and forgets to pimp her latest 'Tobias' story. (shakes head while smiling in bemused admiration) For those interested in fine, funny, erotic history, check out:

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/historical/-divine-developments-.aspx

Now somebody hand over a couple brownies while I prepare a rum and coke for personal consumption. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
This is, whithout any doubt, the single worst C19-related joke to ever show up on FB -- at least so far today.


The Spanish king has been quarantined on his private jet.

This means that the reign in Spain will stay mainly on the plane.


If you think there's one even more worser, post it.

After that, I need a drink? Maybe one last mug of Big Bertha's elixir enhanced with a slug of, Beaver Breath Brandy. Anybody else want something of a fluid nature?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to groaners, grumblers, gropers, gropes, and our amazing Grace who has run into the sad reality that being an unrepentant dumb-ass is not a sexual orientation specific affliction

Mega-thanks to Tonya Terrific for today's set-up. As usual, she's done gone and done good.

Scott and Carl or either holding down their end of the bar or maybe, vice-versa, he says, hoping to add to Scott's 'V' vocabulary.

Any word on the big contest results announcement? This is just, imo, but if it happens on time someone better check for deranged mods -- that is to say more deranged than usual.

Time has come for a refill and a quick brownie inventory. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Your Spriteness, if you can handle Tweeting, consider sending a copy of that original post to our Narcisses-in-chief, old Orange Head. Just a thought.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a Happy Hump Day from this charter member of the 'Over the Hill Gang'.

Got a late start this morning. No doubt that played a role in the number of 'old heads' who have checked in.

Jeff, thanks for the 'other' version of 'Will the Circle be Unbroken'. It's a definite keeper. Of course the original Nitty Gritty rendition with it's banjo riff intro and the opening solo by Mama Maybelle Carter is forever imprinted on what little brain I have left. ;)

Now I'll grab a mug full of Big Bertha's blessed brew (many thanks, Curvy) and check out Sprites musical contribution. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Ping, he wrote: Barkeep, a vat of pineapple juice and rub me down with coconut syrup, please. I feel like going for a tropical dip.

Me, I responded: Tawny, get your fine young ass out here! You might have a customer. ;)

So do you want a Pina Colada? I mean, with all that pineapple juice and all. And anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings fellow sojourners here in the land of Lush. A blessing upon Tonya and Big Bertha for the coffee that will soon invigorates my usually out-vigorated carcuss.

Carl and Scott, good it is to have you two glighting, I mean, brightening, of course, our so-called existence, especially those goodies youse guys toted in.

The Seeker-unit is also among us with some frivolous allusions to hyperglycimia. Be brave young man, or at least sneaky.

This final morning item has to do with the entry total. While wander around that neck of the woods, it came to my attention that the number of entries has now reached 110. Best I can recall, that's an increase in the final talley. No big deal, of course, just curious how that happened.

Something tells me Curvy has just dropped in, no doubt to see what condition our conditions are in and, one hopes, to bring brownies.

Time to fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug to the brim with the ambrosia Tonya and Big Bertha have provided, select a variety of goodies, the go sit out on the back porch to listen to the morning doves go totally berserk. So whadda y'all wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Scott, he wrote: I think I'll get shitfaced and watch Kenneth Copeland try to blow away Covid 19..that'll cheer me up.

Me, I replied: Scott, I was starting to worry about you for a second or two there. Thought you might need to see a shrink or some such. Then I read about your self-prescribed treatment and knew you had things under control. And that order for cheap scotch sealed the deal. Would some 'Safeway Brand Scotch' tickle your fancy?

Penman, coffee with a slug of sludge added to enhance your drinking experience is coming up.

Ping, your coffee has a unhealthy shot of Beaver Breath Brandy added as you requested.

BTW, being the ever clueless, I'm asking what is the significance of 'mfiction'?

Jeff, your coffee is hot, strong and dark. If that's not okay, doctor it up yourself.

TG, by now it must be sangria time. Here's a tall glass of the stuff. Think I'll join you if that's okay.

Now anybody else need a drink? If so, speak up. I ain't no dang mindreader. Besides, I'm not sure I'd wanna read y'all's minds, anyway.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Carl, your requests have been taken under advisement. What 'advisement' did to deserve such a fate is beyond me, but that's the way the old cookie crumbles. ;)

Music-wise, why, oh why didn't any Lushers think of nominating this song by Sam and Dave as the official anthem of the Masturbation contest?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsJuhJJCdoI

Time for a refill. What about the rest of you (fill in the blank) Rumplators?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
CARL!

First the Pingster comes draggin up. Now you've come in from the cold. Glad we are that both of you are back. BTW, how are the mule and horse doing? ;)

Tonya, thanks for your efforts (ably assisted by Big Bertha and Curvy) to take the 'u' out of mourning.

GOOD MORNING, RURMPLATORS!

Is anyone else wondering how many whips Nic has worn out on those poor mods working on the contest entries?

Me, I'm gonna get a mug full of Big Bertha's elixir and go sit with Coma and Tose. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
PING! Glad to have you back and thanks for sharing some of your thoughts on and memories of your past month. I'll get to working on those P Coladas you ordered -- right after I check out your Micro story and Sprite's newest 'Wonderland' adventure.

Oh yeah, and all that right after getting Big Bertha cranking, hot water simmering in the kettle and finding my beloved 'Deep Hole Fluid Injector' mug.

Anybody else ready to order something -- I mean, besides the usual 'Stop with the fucking talking (typing) and start filling orders'?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
What we got is three fingers worth of Canadian rye on the rocks for Scott. Cyn gets her evening mug of our unique daft beer. Sprite didn't leave an order so I'll pass along a glass or two of champagne cocktails made with our renowned, Shanpain. Sorry, but our flutes have flown

In addition to the TV series, Richard Lester directed a movie based on 'Royal Flash' back in the '70's starring .: Malcolm McDowell
Oliver Reed
and Alan Bates. (Yeah, I checked Wiki)

So who wants to join our rowdy group in a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Penman and Seeker, I'll have you two high-brow types know that Rumplations only serves the world renowned, Shampain. ;)

Mr. Pthese days , I do good to even vaguely recall most things. That includes your mentioning Walter Moseley being on my list of favorite writers. However, I'll admit to enjoying his earlier books more than the recent ones.

Have you ever delved into the world of 'Flashman'? The series by George McDonal Fraser is the LOL funny exploits of a totally rotten Brit officer during the Victorian era.

Let me know what you thought about 'Fool'. Me, I loved it. Sprite agreed it was good but some of Moore's other books were even better.

Anybody need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Something tells me Lush writers are enjoying the Micro challenge more than those who come to Lush primarily or even exclusively to read stories and/or socialize. It'll be interesting to see what sort of response linked series generate.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to those who enter seeking sage wisdom, counsel and advice or just wondering where the hell they are.

Thanks to the efforts of Tonya, Big Bertha has had the sludge removed from her bottom, in a way, been washed (inside) and waxed (outside) then filled with store-bought coffee and water from somewhere in Jersey..

Thanks to Laura (muffins) and Curvy (brownies) along with a shipment of fried pork skins, and another of salted peanuts your breakfast menu is set.

In addition to Big Bertha's blessed brew, we have a kettle full of hot water for tea. Of course, the bar's remarkable selection of whacked out whines, bewildering bleers and our ever popular fine lickers is also available for a most nominal charge.

Now let us fill our mugs with whatever the hell ya want to drink and meditate on these times that try our souls. So whadda you single-digit IQ types wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this combo TGIF and v-E Day.

Thanks to the efforts of Big Bertha, with the able assistance of Tonya and Curvy, today's observances can include coffee, tea, and brownies.

Those Rumplators living east of the big pond might prefer to kick start their weekend by savoring some of our weird whines, baffling bleers or perhaps one or more of our world renowned fine lickers.

Meanwhile, Rumplators living west of the international dateline are encouraged to join in even if it's Saturday in your neck of the woods.

So whadda ya micro manglers wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
RR, sic 'em. ;)

Nic, thanks for the 'heads up' on Micro. Elucidating those of us often found among the unelucidatable can be a challenge. ;)
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