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RumpleForeskin
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 79
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
TG, a giant cyber hug along with sincere sympathy is being sent your way. One of the most atrocious aspects of this current plague is the way it assaults our humanity by forcing loved ones to die alone and then denying friends and family a chance to have closure by the act of gathering together to say our goodbyes.

IMO, what we're going through may not be the absolute 'worst of times' but it's seems to be coming closer every day.

Here's your drink. I made it a double.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, to all who enter, whether they be humpers or the humped.


Annie, it is a weirdness how some times we sweat and strain over a story that gets, at best, a good but not great reception. Then something we knock off while waiting on the water to boil wins accolades, blue ribbons, contests, and assorted 'Atta boys' from other writers.

Just more proof that the old flying fickle finger of fate works in strange and mysterious ways, imo.

Thanks to the hard work of Tonya and Big Bertha, a mug filled with BB's blessed brew is in my immediate future. Anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Who, I say, who in the name of Emily Dickhersome took the last brownie? Gluttonous, self-centered, minds wanna know.

BTW, for those being pestered by chirpy songbirds, Tawny says her cousin Oscar has a double-barrel 12-gauge sawed off shotgun that when loaded with bird shot can terminate a backyard filled with those noisy feathered fiends and do it with most extreme prejudice. And if any crypto commie neighbors complain about the noise and fluttering feathers, just let 'em know that the next load could be buckshot.

In case you were wondering, yeah, I'm in something of a cranky mood.I'm told this is a common condition for owners of a new computer loaded with up-to-date software.

Speaking of getting loaded, a double Gorilla Killah is in my immediate future. Anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all Monday mourners. And we have a winner! Nic has posted the winners in the Micro contest. The only money winner is, Mags. For the complete list check out the Site Announcements forum.

Curvy, approximately one million thanks for the coffee, tea, and brownie. You and Big Bertha have once again done a mighty fine job.

Condolences to Verbal, Sarah and all baseball fans. Here's hoping something good will pop up soon.

Big Bertha's elixir is calling me as is one or two of Curvy's brownies. Anybody else need something or other?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all good Rumplators and a big 'Hey, hot stuff!' to all the bad ones. ;)

Curvy, it is a truth, if not exactly universally acknowledge, except here in the land of Lush, that you are a goodness. Many thanks for the set-up and brownies which, imo, are also a goodness. Tell ya what, if you get a chance, ship some of that cold damp weather over here to the the 'Valley of the Sun' and I'll try to send some of our hot (100f) sunny stuff to you.

I'm even more behind the info curve than usual. Any word on when the Micro winners will be announced? I mean now that Nic and Sprite havee punctured the bar's walls with all those darts they used to select finalist, the excitement and anticipation just keeps growing.

Another mug of Big Bertha's elixir of life is calling me, as are those brownies. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all laid back Lush lay-abouts. A blessing to Curvy for helping Big Bertha to get cranking and for all the other duries she has self-assigned poor Cyn.

At the moment, I'm waiting with unbaited breath for a call from my VA doctor toto do one of those VR checkups. Stopped in at the clinic last week for blood work so this will, no doubt, just be a routine Q&A and then re-upping my prescriptions.

Dave, don't know about you, but since dem docs stopped sticking a finger up your behind, my sex life has gone from seldom to damn near non-existent. ;)

A late morning refill with Big Bertha's blessed brew is in my immediate future, as is some of Curvy's brownies. Anybody else need some of Big Bertha and Curvy's goodies? Of course, those in need for something of a more 'enhanced' nature might want to consider adding a slug or two of Beaver Breath Brandy to their java or taking a chance on (note: at this point the VA called -- all okay) the bar's collection of bleers, whines and fine lickers. So whadda ya want?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, y'all. being a big wheel here at Lush must be a challenge. It's nice to know that we the hardly working lifeforms at Rumplations can at least call ourselves 'hubcaps' since we're going around with dem Lush big wheels. ;)

Tawny, get Nic whatever the hell it was she wanted. As for Sprite, get her whatever she deserve, and you can give it to her good and hard.

I'm still futzing with my new 'puter. So far I've mastered nuttin' but do still have one nerve that, while frazzled, is still intact.

Think I'll have a big mug of Big Bertha's blessed brew 'enhanced' with a generous slug of Beaver Breath Brandy. That way I'll be sharp and alert but not give a shit anyway. Anytbody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
How you all are? I'm back, sorta. Managed to check in just before lunch (left coast time) but then lunch, followed by the mandatory power nap kept me from befouling this gin join with my misanthropic musings.

Now I'm facing the task that would make even old Hercules (Perot?) quake, redoing my fav list to include all dem password thingys. (sigh) Just more proof that life's a bitch and then you gotta diet. (sigh x 2)

Me, I'm gonna have me a drink. Not sure exactly what but no doubt it will be wet and, no doubt, bad for me. Anybody else need something of a fluid nature?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter, especially those Monday mourning mis-fits and malcontents. A blessing on all who got here first. Of course Tonya gets the ceremonial mighty cyber hug for helping Big Bertha churn out another serving of her blessed brew.

The Micro contest is now closed to new submissions after 'only' 125 were accepted. So when can me begin making astute suggestions for the next one? ;)

Meanwhile, a mug full of Big Bertha's goodness in calling me and Carls Boston cream sound divinely decadent. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings plus an end of the month suggestion to Vanessa and Ping -- Whether they know it or not, Lushers and Lushettes are in dire need of a clown story co-written by you two clown, he says in a solely affirmative affirmation sort of way.

Hope all dedicated Rumplators are having a better day than the rest of the US of A whether they happen to live here in the States or not.

BTW, tomorrow morning (Left Coast Time) my VA rep is supposed to stop by and set-up my new 'puter plus the screen reader and other bits of software that's included. After that, it's up to me to discover just how badly I can FUBAR all that new technology. Bottome line, this joint may or may not be spared my presence for some time. Enjoy.

Here's tea for Scott, coffee for Vanessa, a rum and Coke for Ping along with best wishes for an 'interesting' day.

Now whadda the rest of ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all wanton weekend warriors. Approximately a million thanks, give or take a few thousand, "Much obligeds" for to Curvy for working like a gally slave with Big Bertha to make this place, if not exactly inviting, at least semi-habitable. ;)

Just checked the contest entries and there are now 121! :O. That's supposed to be one of those old-fashioned image thingys(sp?) indicating shock or surprise. No telling how it turned out.

JB, whatever the hell you decide you'd prefer being called, odds are the joint's dumbass redneck blind barkeep will stick with JB. It's the same stunt I pull on our Tech Goddess (TG) so you'll be in good company.

Martin, if this joint had a prize for the customer with the most imaginative way of enduring this lockdown, odds are you'd be the winner. Way to go.

There's hot coffee and brownies that by now should be well thawed. So I'm about to indulge, once again. Whadda the rest of y'all wanna drink.

eta: Sweat not your contest delay, Rachael. Both you and the Sprite-unit are well worth the wait. smile
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Curvy, here's your beer, my dear. (he says, making a piss-poor stab at micro poetry) ;) As always, it's a major goodness to have Hannah among us. Of course, now I'm wondering about the nature of those emails she got earlier today.

Y'all make 'SubliminalMessage' welcome. On his profile, he claims to be John Brown which might be true. On the other hand, I'm not certain if his Lush handle is 'Subliminal Mess Age _ or some variation. JB, the assembled multitude here await your pronouncement on this burning issue.

Meanwhile, since you're a tee totaler, here's a Virgin Hannah just for you. And before you ask, it's basically a non-alcoholic French Monaco which, for no particular reason I can recall, is named for our, Brown Coffee who like Curvy and many others is from the UK neck of the woods, or ocean, as the case may or may not be.

Somebody better warn JB about Terance the Tarantula and how much he hates, just hates it when folks try to 'liberate' a handful of pistachio nuts out of the dispenser where he naps.

Now who else needs a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings along with a bit of sage wisdom for Verbal. If you're going to a drive-in with LJ, make sure you're behind the wheel of an old(vintage/classic) sedan such as a Chevy Belair, with a wide bench seat in front. Just a suggestion, you understand.

The following is a true drive-in story, more or less. Back in the day, the gal I was dating had a thing for Omar Shariff and wanted to see 'Dr. Zhivago. That was okay by me since Julie Christie was most appealing eye-candy and the only place where the film was showing was the local drive-in.

So equipped with vodka and orange juice we showed up ready to enjoy and entertaining evening. Before long, instead of things heating up, we both began freezing. At first we thought it must be the screwdrivers combined with all those snowy sceenes in the movie. Soon, we agree that whatever the cause, making like Napoleon and retreating from this cold-ass Russian epic was in order.

Turns out, the problem was a 'blue norther' cold front had come barreling through, dropping the southern Indian Summer temps something like thirty degrees. After a quick relocation and with the heater on, we manage to finish the vodka and the rest of the night in much warmer activity.

Think a Screwdriver is now calling me but first a mug of Big Bertha's bes to ward off any psychosomatic chills , finish a brownie or two and then take my drink out to the back porch (patio to any high-toned customers) and give thanks for having a dirty mind filled with equivalent memories and/or fantasies. Anybody else need a drink or two?

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, to all Rumplations 'Guys and Dolls' and/or 'Gals and Dorks'. Approximately one million thanks to the early arrivals for the set-up, clean-up and just showing up.

There are now 114 entries in the Micro contest. IMO, this has been an odd contest with it taking about as much time to vote and comment as it does to read the entries.

Do like having the two 'word limit' categories now being combined into one category.

Enough already with the bloviation. Big Bertha is calling me to the blessed brew she and Tonya concocted. And thanks to the supply-side assistance of Curvy and Carl, there are snacks available. So does anyone else need something to drink and/or eat?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
One margarita heading your way, Sara.

Here's the deal with the story lists. Nic and company have come up with a fourth category: stories, poems, all, and now there's Quick Reads which will house Flash and Micro fiction. Best I can tell, all micro posts, whether contest or not end up there.

Clarifications and corrections will, no doubt, follow soon.

Another drink is calling me to celebrate Jeff's quad-rumple posts. Anybody wanna join us?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Damn, Sara. Your mother's situation is one great example of 'good news -- bad news'. Please give her our love and best wishes.

Now you want a tall, sweet iced tea or a Tailgater?

Verbal: on the subject of Burma-Shave signs: Statistics prove, near and far, that folks who drive like crazy, are. ;)

Now whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Damn, Sara. Your mother's situation is one great example of 'good news -- bad news'. Please give her our love and best wishes.

Now you want a tall, weet iced tea or a Tailgater?

Verbal: on the subject of Burma-Shave signs: Statistics prove, near and far, that folks who drive like crazy, are. ;)

Now whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all, especially those who wander in wondering if they've stumbled into some sort of Animal Planet, then notice Coma and Tose, Terance the Tarantula and the old blind barkeep behind and/or under the bar, and order ddrinks anyway.

There are now 110 entries in the Micro contest. That must be right since it matches the forecast high today out here in the desert.

Time has come to refill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug with Big Bertha's goodness, grab a doughnut or two and wait for the first bead of sweat to pop up. Anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Scott, he wrote: When I saw that a baby sloth was born at the Roger Williams Park Zoo in Rhode Island, I knew we needed a picture here (though does anyone else find cute animal pictures in a bar a bit ... weird?).

Me, I replied: Not if the bar is named, Rumplations. Well, and this is just imo, you understand, no way can any number of CBAPP's (cute baby animal pic Posts) be any weirder than the Rumplators posting them.

It's over 100f (about 40c) out here in the Valley of the Sun. Think I'll join TG in a Long Island Tea. Anybody else need a drink, or two, maybe three?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and welcome to the home of the wandering 'Why Nots'.

When Monday comes on a Tuesday, does that make it better or, if possible, even worse?

The contest is up to 105 entries making this the second straight Lush contest to get into triple digits entry-wise. Deadline is May 30, probably.

Okay, all right already, thanks to Curvy, Big Bertha has done hthat voo-do that she do so well and created a heapin' helpin' of her blessed brew. Of course, the tea kettle is hot to trot and the joint's usual line-up of unusual bleers, whines, and the always popular, fine lickers. are ready and eager to be served, to you, that is. So whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Sara, imo there are certain foods that almost demand beer or sweet iced tea. High on the list is any type of BBQ and fried fish, especially if coated in corn meal.

Dave, many thanks for taking the time to read and comment on some of my older stories. It can be a challenge to attract views and votes to 'vintage' stories and with my being here for over ten years, some of mine are getting a tad mouldy. ;)

Speaking of beer, here are the ones Sara and Dave ordered. anybody else need a glass full of goodness?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter on this memorable Memorial Day here in the U.S. of A..Now the real trick will be trying to remember why ya wanted to come into this desolation row in the midst of Lushland.

A blessing on Curvy for aiding Big Bertha and other duties as needed -- especially the brownies.

Hope everyone has a great day.

Now 'see you play' (he says in something that sounds vaguely like French) I'll fill my mug to the brim, grab a brownie or two and then await further developments. Anybody else need some sort of fluid?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all loving living the Lush life.

Since things seem to be in a nice state of disorder, I'll fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug to the brim and sit at the table with Coma and Tose to wait for something, anything, inappropriate to happen. Anybody else need coffee, tea, or maybe some of our whines, bleers or the always popular fine lickers? If so, whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Just one word about black widow spiders, well, okay make it two, maybe three, at the most four words, The Brown Recluse Spider. Odds are a bite won't kill ya, but it will make you wish it had..

(from Wiki) While the majority of brown recluse spider bites do not result in any symptoms, cutaneous symptoms occur more frequently than systemic symptoms. In such instances, the bite forms a necrotizing ulcer as the result of soft tissue destruction and may take months to heal, leaving deep scars. These bites usually become painful and itchy within 2 to 8 hours. Pain and other local effects worsen 12 to 36 hours after the bite, and the necrosis develops over the next few days.[23] Over time, the wound may grow to as large as 25 cm (10 inches). The damaged tissue becomes gangrenous and eventually sloughs away.

I'll drink to that. Just opened a new bottle of Tarantula Tequila so Sara, TG, and Buz should have their needs slaked. Grace wanted, I think, a cold beer. As always, a less cold beer is waiting for the unquenchable Curvy, Carl gets some of his own Buffalo Trace, Seeker is about to face both a healthy glass of Canadian rye with a wine chaser. Anybody out there suffering from the empty glass blues?

Have a great day the rowdy, raunchy, Rumplations way.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Sprite, she wrote: maybe the prize should be a box, then, for you to get into? ;)

Me, I replied: Oh, let it be. ;)

So whadda ya wanna drink, young lady?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Sprite, Her Royal Spriteness said: ...it (her inchoate contest) should be something fun and different for those who like to think outside the box.

Me, I replied: Traditionally, most of my 'thinking outside the box' has been focused on how to get inside some particularly desirable box.

I'll drink to that! Anybody wanna join in a round of inchoate inebriation?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a cheery, "What the hell ya want?" to all who enter seeking cheap booze and warm companionship.

Here's hoping Gil is off somewhere in the land of nod, by now. Jim, always good to have you check in. And then there's Curvy., bless her heart. Once again she and Big Bertha have combined their efforts to produce some first-rate coffee and tea. Condo-mints are somewhere on the bar. note: it is not considered a C19 safe act to lick the spoon before returning it to its resting spot on the ever-expanding puddle of residual coffee and tea on the bar.

There's one week left until the official, iron-clad deadline for the current 'Micro' contest. A few minutes ago, there were 88 entries. Wonder if the usual flood of last-second entries will occur this time.

Time for some serious drinking of outrageously good coffee. Anybody else need something to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all and welcome to what seems to have become, Rumplations' Animal refuge. Of course, I'm the type of old country boy who, way back when, thought a 'Petting Zoo' was the parking lot behind the Tri-Delt and Chi Omega sorority houses, so whadda I know?

Many thanks to Carl for all the doughnuts and a big 'Wahoo!' for Sara's news about the mother.

This may or may not be valid, but I've always heard that spreading moth balls will discourage skunks from entering an area such as under the house. Whether it really is effective, it would work on me.

Time for a sampling of Big Bertha's blessed brew. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings. Might have been here earlier but I've been trying to 'grok' these words fromm our very own, Dear Leader.


“And I tested very positively in another sense. So this morning. I tested positively toward negative, right? So no, I tested perfectly this morning. Meaning I tested negative. But that’s a way of saying it. Positively toward the negative.”

— President Trump, quoted by CNN.

The only saving grace for spending half the day trying to disentangle that double-speak gobble-d- (sp?) is what with being the barkeep in an online cyber honky-tonk I can get my drinks at half-price.

Which reminds me, anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Scott, he ordered: I'll have a 151 with a 151 chaser.

Me, I staggered even more than usual and then replied: Dman, Scott, that order makes my renowned 'Gorilla Killah' (151 proof rum with a splash of Coke) seem like something on the kiddie's menu. Crawl back when you're ready for another one

Anybody wanna join our south of the border Scott?

eta: Now this is different. Lush is down, but so is Stories Space.

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