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RumpleForeskin
1 month ago
Straight Male, 78
0 miles · Phoenix

Forum

Greetings hotties.

James, the floor still needs to be shoveled out - big time. (hint, hint, hint)
The contest now has 13 entries. While it is true the deadline is next month, it's gonna show up quick-like in July. You have been warned.

Time to fill my mug with Big Bertha's blessed brew, grab a bag or two of fried pork skins and go sit out on the back porch and soak up the ambiance while waiting for Tawny to take her morning plunge.

Anybody need a drink before I go slip, sliding away?

Ms Skald! What, I say, what in the name of the caffeine deprived is the meaning of you not cranking Big Bertha into gear this morning?

Granted, you were providing comfort and support for those in need of the same but what gives? One more such dereliction of duty could result in you being sent to stall#3 for some re-education. ;)

A blessing on Curvy for handling the setup chores. No doubt Big Bertha dan the kettle are now feeling mo' better. What's more, once I get a brownie or two inside me, odds are so will I.

Full coffee mug in one hand and brownies in the other, I'll go sit out on the back porch/beer garden to check on Tawny's morning ablutions.

Anybody want a drink?

How y'all are? Temp's up to 106f here in the Valley of the Sun so a Tailgater is calling me.

Just wanted to remind this rowdy crew about the 'Survivor' contest over on the old Sacre Bleu, Stories Space site. The first entry has shown up and bids fair to intimidate any would-be competitors.

The author is 'our' Verity and her story is a gem, We’ll Be Home By Christmas https://www.storiesspace.com/stories/drama/-well-be-home-by-christmas-.aspx.

Don't be scared of checking it out. Granted it's a high bar to overcome but, and here's the good news, last time I checked it was still the only entry. That means the rest of us have a legit shot at second place ($50) and/or third place ($25).

So give it a look-see then gird your loins for the challenge. (note: That word was 'loins' not 'lions'. Hands off Carl if you know what's good for you.)

A tall cool Tailgater in hand, I'll hunker down in a comfy chair and wait for things to eventuate, eventually.

Anybody want a drink or two?

Let's have a party, let's have a ball, y'all!

Rumplations house-brand champagne, Shampain, sounds perfect. What about we drink the stuff out of Sprite's Doc Martins? I mean, that'd qualify as 'kinky' imo and as a bonus it should disguise the taste -- now don't be crude and ask if I meant the booze or the boots. ;)

Buz, many thanks for the 'heads up' and link. You got any fiendish ideas about what the bar should be drinking to celebrate Sprite and her latest award?

Now that the subject has come up, what do the rest of you Rumplations Rowdies think would be the best drink for this occasion?

This award is a goodness.

So is her Royal Spriteness.

Now, what's she gonna do for an encore? ;)

Love ya lady.

One pint of the bar's 'best' coming up, Ms C. BTW, please tell me that 48 temp was fahrenheit. ;)

My thanks for all the CIS-related feedback on that neologism. All the efforts by several knowledgeable Rumplators have left me well and truly elucidated.

Since the temp is 104 and rising out here in the desert, I'll take my Tailgater and go huddle under to old, leaky window air conditioner. Anybody want a drink?

Greetings. With all the TGIF hustel and bustel no one has taken on the task of getting Big Bertha primed and prepped. Therefore, let it be noted that Big Bertha, the Countess of Caffeine, has been rinsed out, and filled with a big load of dark roast coffee and water imported from the Dry Prong (La.) Water Works and then turned on, so to speak.

While waiting for her to 'put out' here's your question of the day: What is CIS? This old, straight, white guy would like to know.

Ah, the world's most perfect ambrosia is now available. I'll fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug with that goodness and slide over to the corner table to listen in on Coma and Tose discussing medium metaphysics or something that sounds sort of like that.

Anybody want a drink?

Greetings to all and a special 'way to go' sent to our demolition derby darling, TG. ;) If it's true that a 'Cat' has 9-lives, our Tech Goddess mmay be down to eight. Hang in there lady

That reminds me there is a new contest over on Stories Space. The theme is, Survivor. Entries can be based on RL experiences or 100% unreal creations of your warped imagination. (Just remember SS is a 'family friendly' site), so to speak. Word limit is 1001 to 5000 words and there are prizes, no kidding. Check out the site announcements over on Stories Space for more info.

Think I'll fill my mug with the product of Big Bertha and James' combined efforts and go join Coma and Tose to listen in on their discussion of the esoteric philosophical meanings hidden in the phrase: 'Do Wah Diddle, Diddle Dum Diddle do'. Anybody want a drink?.

Greetings to all readers and writers of the porn.

* The following is a sports-related WAHOO. Last night, the Phoenix Suns managed a one-point win over the visiting LA Clippers to go up 2-0 in the NBA semi-finals. I'd describe the jaw-droppin game winning, last-second play except ain't no way I'd ever get it right. However, a quick stop at YouTube for a video clip should ease any confusion.

Over on the Site Announcement forum, Nic has posted more info on the new and ,hopefully, improvedLush coming our way. The comments are a fascinating read. Some are excited and eager for the change, others are in the wait-and-see category, me, I'm joined by the folks who trimble at the thought of any change. ;)

Time for a drink followed by a power nap, of sorts. Anybody wanna join me in either one?

Greetings to all who enter or who continue to wander outside wondering who took the doorknob.

Angel, massive (HUGS) and numerous prayers, positive vibes, and best wishes for you and yours.

Tonya, always a joy having you handle the setup especially when Curvy comes in after you to clean up the mess. ;)

Kali Leigh! Welcome bacl, Ms Amelia. For those who haven't met her, Kali is, hands down, the greatest Lush poet who is over 100 and living in the Ivory Coast. Those last two tidbits are from her profile but the first is common knowledge. ;)

Congrats to Jeff on that RR and sympathy for being so plagued by OCD you feel compelled to pull a great story to correct the spelling of a band. ;)

As someone who is on involuntary hiatus from writing (my muse has gone into a witness protection program) I've enjoyed the 'writer' chit & chat.

Now who needs a drink?There's a Rumplations' one-for-the-price-of-two special today on tall cool drinks.

Martin, it's all my fault, honest. No doubt your lady took my challenge to "Vote early and often" to include voting in the land of Lush. instead of just real life. (sigh)

That means, of course, it's your fault for not giving her warning about taking the advice of anyone who spent years baskin in the political jungles of Louisiana, Texas, and now the old recount state of Arizona. ;)

No doubt your intentions were good but your execution, so to speak, was faulty. Keep trying and best of luck.

Anybody need a drink?

A bit of current events inspiration for all tempted to enter the Kinky Contest.

x x x

Manhattan City Council candidate Zack Weiner confirmed to the New York Post it was him in a bondage video circulating on social media.

“The footage shows a gagged Weiner, unable to speak, subjecting himself to various abuses by a leather-bound woman who pours wax on him and clips his nipples with clothespins.”

Said Weiner: “I didn’t want anyone to see that, but here we are.”

x x x

Somewhere in the most remote corners of my memoory is the sound of Alice Cooper singing, "I Wanna Be Elected."

Anybody in need of a tall cool drink?

A TGIF Tailgater coming up for Sarah and a second one for Scott.

For those who may have forgotten or never knew, a Tailgater is a Long Island Tea but with tequila instead of vodka in ice tea. They're good, absolutely, and good for you, probably.

So anybody else want one or some other drink? It's up to 115f (46c) out here in the desert. Think a Tailgater is calling me.

Here's you a tall, cold Tailgater', Scott. Congrats on passing all your tests. Someday you'll have to teach me how to 'cheat' on blood tests. ;)

Down here in the valley of the Sun, the temp is 111 and heading for 116 so if you don't mind, I'll join you with a Tailgater of my very own.

Sarah, you wanna upgrade your sweet iced tea order to a Tailgater? Anybody else want a drink?

On the ever enthralling subject of the weather, specifically high temps and humidity those who repeat the old joke about 'a dry heat' actually have a point. For instance, at the moment, my Alexa claims the temp out here in Arizona is 115f while the humidity is 5%. Fellow Rumplators, that is 'dry heat' So don't be a fool and stay cool.

And who needs a tall cooling drink?

Greetings to all who are still wondering about our late-night intruder.

Those who haven't read Kistins post are urged to scroll up just a bit and enjoy.

Big Bertha has been rinsed, filled with water from the famed, Waterproof (la) Water Works System, along with New Orleans style dark roast coffee and turned on, so to speak. The tea kettle is heating up a batch of water from the same place, btw.

Sounds like Big Bertha has done her thing. So I'll fill my mug with her ethereal goodness, grab a handful of Slim Jims and join Coma and Tose to listen in on their discussion of whether it should be a crime for any true read-haired female to take it all off, body hair wise, that is.

Feel free to join in. Anybody want a drink?

Arturo Pérez-Reverte, is a prolific Spanish author who writes contemporary mystery and detective novels and for a change of pace,switches to shorter, historical stories of the adventures of a Spanish soldier of fortune (Diego Priest)in set in the early years of the 1600's. IMO, both styles are well worth checking out.

The following quote is copied from his bestselling, 'The Nautical Chart, chapter 3

He wanted to put sparks of light and surprise in her navy blue eyes. To change the rhythm of her breathing. To cause her flesh to throb and shiver. And then in the darkness, like a patient sniper,he'd watch for that moment, that brief fleeting moment of self-centered intensity when a woman is absorbed in herself and her face contains the faces of all women ever born and yet to be born.

So give his work a try. But first, who wants a drink?

Greetings, to all who have come in here and those still trying.

Me, I'm wondering if James had included a 'no sex' tag and submitted it in the 'Humor' category, would it have slipped past the 'mod who said no'. I've long longed for Lush to create something along the lines of an 'erotic but with No Sex' type category.

it's way past time for me to fill my mug with today's ambrosia, a blessing on Big Bertha and Michelle, grab something in the nature of a goody or two and go sit with Coma and Tose at the corner table in the midst of their discussion of whether Tuesday should be designated 'Taco Tuesday' or the classic 'Titty Tuesday, or maybe the recently suggested, 'Tanned Tushy Tuesday. That last one was, I've been lead to understand, conceived as a tribute to Kimmi's Kiester.

All are welcome to join in. So who wants a drink?

Greetings to all who made it through the weekend only to find themselves facing another Moanday mourning.

Carl, thanks for the photos and music link. Way back when the future Ms Foreskin and I were engaged, one of her uncles took me for a haircut at a neighborhood barber shop. The barber was a old soul who struck me as one of those guys who have been there and done that.

Turns out I was right. He was a 'death camp survivor complete with the mandatory camp ID tattoo on his forearm. When we finished, I asked, and he graciously agreed to let me shake his hand.

Tonya, congrats on the first contact with your grandbaby. They are special.

Michelle, she wrote: Bill I never quite know what you, Coma and Tose are talking about over there. It always seem to complicated, so very high brow. Course maybe it's because I haven't had enough coffee and the hamster hasn't got on the wheel yet.

Me, I said: Worry not. We seldom have any idea of what we're going on about. Coime join us sometime if and when you need a nap.

A filled mug of coffee in one hand and a bag of fried pork skins in the other, I'll now join the previously mentioned Coma and Tose for a discussion of whether there's life after birth.

Anybody want a drink?

Greetings to all the Rumplations 'kool Cats'. Since the forecast out here in the desert is, you know, forecasting a high of 113f (45c). Use of the old expression, 'There'll be a hot time in the old town' is to be discouraged. ;)

Curvy, a multitude of thanks for today's setup. You and Big Bertha are a dynamic duo.

Sister Michelle, preach it! I have it on good authority that the Right Rev. Rumple ended his reading of your epistle with a big, AMEN!

Daddy D, here's a mug filled with Big Bertha's blessed brew fortified with a big slug of Beaver Breath Brandy.

Kimmi, (HUGS x a lot)n

Anybody else want a drink?

JAS - Xander, mega-congrats on your poem's achievement. Keep on keeping on.

Time for a 'Rumplations Relaxer' that's a mug full of hot chocolate and mini-marshmallows that's been enhanced by a double shot of Beaver Breath Brandy.

Anybody want one, or maybe some other drink?

Kimmi, to tell or not to tell -- that is the question. Just a couple thoughts. You are a writer. That's all folks will probably want to know. If you're asked for details, say short stories and mention something about a novel. If asked for genre - type info, consider something along the line of stories focused on interpersonal relationships with enough sex tossed in to help it sell in today's fiction market. Just some thoughts. ;)

Anybody out there need a drink or two?

To paraphrase, Cat Stevens, "Morning has broken..." and the warranty expired last week. Such is life.

If you haven't PM'ed James da Bear for a copy of his 'Too Hot for Lush' 'Morning Glory' story, well, do so and then come back when you've recovered enough for a drink or two.

Greetings to all who have roamed into this den of old world depravity and bad taste. Thanks to Carl, Who says he survived a rather memorable blow job last night, (60mph winds will get your attention) my mug is now full of Big Bertha's elixir of life. Think I'll snag me a goody or two along with a doughnut then join Coma and Tose for an in-depth discussion of nothing much. Y'all feel free to join our "simulating" discussion.

So whadda y'all wanna drink?

TGIF greetings to the Rumplations nation, though 'precinct' might be a better lable.

Michelle, since you asked so nice, my physical went off w/o a hitch. BTW, can you get one of those dryads to take care of the accumulation of animal fur that's threatening to clog Big Bertha and possibly the latrines?

Haven't stopped by Stories Space so I'm even more clueless than usual about how developments over there may or may not be developing

Since woozy James has commandeered the hot tub (rumor has it Tawny split when he turned off the heater and dumped in a big block of ice) I'll fill my mug with Big Bertha's blessed brew, take my unfair share of goodies and go join Coma and Tose for an analysis of the proposed expansion of the college football (USA) playoffs from four to 12 teams.

Anybody need a drink?

.
Curvy and Susie, the magnificent duo is here among us!

Tell y'all what, to celebrate this event, I'll serve both beers in mugs that have been rinsed out and even wiped off. Enjoy, you two.

Anybody else need a drink?

Carl, thanks for the link to 'Got a Line on You'. It took some time for me to re-appreaciate it after being exposed to, 'Big-Mouth Billy Bass' sort of moving to the beat of that song. (shudder) ;) Those in search of more info should run a quick google

Those heading that way might want to order a drink now and a double later if and when you return.

Greetings and best wishes who all, especially those who enter, realize this is not where they meant to roam but decide to stay anyway.

Carl, if Linda did give you a smile, it would be proof she has gas. ;) But seriously, many thanks for all the music, especially the Edison Lighthouse 'Loves Grows' number. It's one of those rare, upbeat pop songs such as: 'Smoke from a Distant Fire', 'Got a Line on You', 'Only Want to be With You' by the incomparable Dusty Springfield, that have always appealed to me.
Haven't had a mug full of Tonya assisted coffee by Big Bertha in some time and now I'm about to get myself back into the habit.

Anybody want a drink?

Greetings, Lushketeers. Just popping in to grab some of Big Bertha's ambrosia before heading out to the VA for my yearly physical. Did blood work on Monday so Dr. Davis, bless her heart, will be ready to telll me what I should and shouldn't be doing. (sigh)

Speaking or typing, as is the case today, being an all-bench warming type, stupor-hero of a guy, these physicals ain't much fun now that lab work reveals what those old-fashioned jab-in the butt hole prostate exams were supposed to do, and don't get me started on the always exciting hernia checks. (cough - cough)

Y'all do the best you know how. If you need a drink, I'm afraid it's either do-it-yourself or hope some semi-sentient life form slips in behind the bar.