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RumpleForeskin
1 month ago
Straight Male, 78
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Jeff, asked about otter pops. Sounds good to me, but what about otter moms? Either way, otters is a goodness in my book.

James asked about becoming illegally blind. I'm told it's what can happen if you're caught messing with Big Lou's girlfriend.

And speaking of animals, just for the record, Terance the Tarantula is, has always been, and will always be (unless I accidentally hit delete) the official Rumplations mascot and head of bar security.

As for all dem boids, let me tell ya, Ms Spriteness, if they ain't fried chicken, who cares? But semi-serious-like, if this dump had an official bird, it would be, what else but the Blue footed Booby.

Me, I'm having a drink. (hint, hint, hint)
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Another Sprite-related info dump for newbies and the forgetful among us.

The 'Throne' of Her Royal Spriteness is located in a corner behind the table occupied by Coma and Tose. Sharp-eyed Rumplators may notice that it bears a remarkable resemblence to a hospital room porta-potty. Please note that it was described as 'resembling' and not as 'an exact working model'. Let us all hope I've made that perfectly clear and those in dire need will recall that with luck, at least one of the two latrines will be available and if not, the back porch is always on stand or squat by as the case may be. ;)

I'll drink to that -- at least the last part. Anybody else want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Her Royal Spriteness has indicated that a pink lemonade slushy would meet with her approbation. This might come as a shock to some, but we don't get a lot of calls for pink lemonade, slushy or otherwise. HTawny volunteered to haul ass to the local Wag-A-Bag convenience store. Bless her heart, she managed, somehow, to convince the store manager, her uncle Bruce, to put the whole slushy machine in the back of his pic-up, haul it over here, and get it set up and running. II would have already thanked him myself but he's in the stock room at the moment, no doubt being thanked by his favorite niece. What a gal. ;)

So here's your pink lemonade slushy, Rach. Enjoy.

Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, (pauses to sample a tiny drop of da Bears' version of coffee -- and is both pleased and surprised to discover it ain't half bad) to all the unmasked Us of A Rumplators who now, if they've had their shots, can now go unmasked. IMO, this is a major goodness. smile

So tell y'all what, let's declare this TGIF (Thank God It's Finally - unmask day).

In case you missed my last post (Thursday night) it gave some info on Sprite. Check it out.

Now I'm gonna try a full mug of that coffee James and BB concocted, grab a bag or two of fried pork skins and go sit out on the back porch to read the new chapter in the collabaration between James and Nika, while waiting in eager anticipation for Tawny taking her morning skinny-dip in the hot tub. So whadda the rest of you bottom feeders in the great slush pile of life wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Not sure what might qualify as Sprite's favorite drink, other than free, of course. However, Rayne's question reminded me that many newbies are unaware of the Bar's specialty: a French Monaco drink

The drink has approximately one jillion variations, for instance:

Strawberry French MonacoStrawberry syrup, simple syrup, pilsner/champagne/ginger ale/etc., strawberries, lemon juice

The 'original' might have been something like: grenadine, pomegranate juice, and beer

Larry has been known to order a 'Virgin Hannah' -- it's a non-alcoholic version named in honor of Brown Coffee, a gifted writer who once frequented this joint.

No need to thank me for that info dump; just another fine, free, unasked for service of the Rumplations, Committee on the Perpetuation of Puzzlements.

So whadda ya lethargic loafers and lazy lay-abouts wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
So how y'all are? Sprite says she's doing a lot mo' better. Got in touch with her today. according to Her Royal Spriteness, she's sitting out on the patio listening to the birds and bees, so to speak, and has promised to not rush her recovery which should take another few weeks. The operation seems to have been a winner. Her right eye is working again and the tumor was benign (non-cancerous)

The bad news is, at least for now, NO booze sad No word about weed and pills. ;) .

Since drinking is not in her immeadiate future, it's gonna be up to the rest of you wasted woeful writers to take up the slack. So whadda ya wanna drink? smile
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Here's your beer, Susie. Spreading on that sheet must have been a chore. In case Curvy comes in, here's a pint for here. No doubt you'll keep an eye on it and not let the elixir get stale. ;)

I'm still puzzeling over Kimmi's mentioning penises falling 20 stories. You think that short story collection she keeps hinting about putting out, so to speak, about the night she did just that to all the members of the 20 member GDI frat pledge class which, I'm told, eventually left the soiree with their descendent dinguses dragging in the dirt. Just wondering.

Anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Moanday mourning greetings to all, especially the brave few who wandered in wondering what the hell was going on, only to learn no one around here ever has any idea about what's going on or coming off. Convinced that makes this their kind of place, they buy a round for all with a double for the foxy lady behind the bar.

Kimmi, congrats on your great Mother's Day along with best wishes for a quick surceasse of sorrow for your face.

Time to fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug to the brim with today's magic brew from the combined efforts of Big Bertha and Michelle. If someone has slipped in with some goodies while I was in mid-pontification mode, I'll grab some and make my way over to the corner table to learn what passes for deep thought today.

Anybody want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who wander in wondering about civilization and its discontents, pause to look around, decide things could still get a lot worse shrug and order a drink or two.

Big Bertha has been given the business to include resupplying her with Louisiana dark roast and water from the Waterproof municipal waterworks and told to sic 'em. Same goes for the Tea Kettle except it works on a bring your own bases.

Think I'll fill my mug with BB's blessed brew, grab a bag or two of fried pork skins and adjourn to the back porch to meditate on something or other.

Anybody need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Kimmi, a good sun screen is vital but should always be (IMO) combined with a big, sombrero, a sporty pith helmet or maybe a panama or floppy hat.

You ready for that relaxing drink Super K ordered for you? Anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Verity, about that egregious snub of your bare ankle photo: next time consider wearing one of those 'slave' anklet thingys from back in the '60's. If that seems a tad dated, maybe a tattoo with an upward pointing finger (your pick) and the message: This way for a good time. ;)

So who needs a drink?

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this the first day of the Waiting Impatiently for the Winners to be Announced' interim.

Many thanks to James, cleverly disguised as a pocket protector wearing nerd, for the spreadsheet. And please heed his warning in the last paragraph.

IMO, the bottom line is none of those stats will play any decisive role in the selection of winners and the top ten. Nic has always pushed for quality over quantity. Along with the poor souls she's roped into being judges, they might use some of those stats to help make a call along the selection process, but the final decision will be subjective.

And speaking of subjectivity, Michelle wrote:
Ooh so do you, we could almost be twins. Fine, you can be the pretty one and I can be the slutty one.,

To which I opined: Ms Skald, to label me 'the pretty one' would require a suspension of disbelief few if any Lushers will ever achieve. But thanks anyway. ;)

Time to stop talking and start drinking some of the blessed brew Michelle and Big Bertha have produced. Think I'll grab a bag or two of fried pork skins and go join Coma and Tose in their ongoing discussion of quantum physics.

So whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Now hear this!

The deadline has come and gone for entries in the Foolish contest. Now everyone can check out what sort of score their scribbling received.

You may now return to your unusual moaning and groaning whether from pain or pleasure or both.

Anybody want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Emma and Kimmi or vice versa, you two are tough broads having to put up with way more than your fair share of pain. Just letting you two and any backup barkeep on duty know that all your drinks are on the house for the weekend. Love y'all.

The rest of you barflies will have to figure out how to put the charge on someone else's tab.

Michelle, many thanks for the heads up on that contest entry now no longer missing from the main page.

So whadda ya bottom feeders in the literary slush pool of life wanna drink?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
TGIF greetings to all who do what you do to me, so to speak.

I'd spend more time in mindless chit-chat (and vice versa) but it seems no one has attended to Big Bertha. Therefore and forthwith I'll postpone expressions of being picked upon to do what needs doing.
okay,
Big Bertha has now had her bottom settlement sludge extracted and saved for whatever life form craves extra caffine. After a good morning rinse, she took on a full load of dark roast coffee and water from the Dry Prong (La.) Rural reservoir and sewage treatment plant then turned on in a most Rumplefied manner. Same goes for the nameless tea kettle.

As of a few minutes ago, the contest was still open with 54 entries. Some of the last-minute subs are well worth a read, vote and comment. Just a suggestion.

Time to fill my mug with Big Bertha's elixir, grab a couple bags of fried pork skins and go sit out on the back porch to wait in hopes of Tawny taking a sunrise skinny dip. Anybody want anything to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
There may be a contest entry missing from the main page.

The Moonlit Cellar
scarletteweaver

The info appears on the listing of contest entries but not on my main page. It may be due to my screen reader acting even stranger than usual. But if you're on speaking terms with a mod, please pass this along.

Now I need a drink. What about the rest of you?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Verity just snuck in and swiped a bottle of our world decried, Gunga Gin. Someone should warn her to check that her health insurance is up to date and covers extended care to include both physical and mental rehab.

Anybody want something else to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
GGreetings and a big Happy 90th Birthday to baseball great, Willie Mays.

TONYA! Glad we all are to have you among us, especially with you bearing bagels, croissants and reports on Littley. Here's hope your pain in the temple passes before long.



It is, of course, D-Day in Lushland. That 'D' is for 'deadline' for contest entries. For the benefit of newbies, don't get hung up on the exact time the contest ends. It'll happen whenever Nic and the gang remember to shut it down. Save your strength for heckling about when the contest results will be announced.

Time to fill my mug with Big Bertha's Jersey Gold ambrosia, then grab BOTH a bagel and croissant and join Tonya at the corner table with Coma and Tose and listen in to their ruminations of life, its consequences and inevitabilities.

So whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
IMO, wear a Munster Rugby shirt in the good old USofA and about 90% will think you're pimping my favorite cheese. ;)

There are now 50 entries in the Foolish contest. All four 'newbies' are fun reads though some are a tad more polished than others. Check 'em out if you get the chance.

Emma, you, and Elizabeth Black along with Curvy and her Mom are all in need of good vibes including a special blessing from the Right Rev Rumple. Tawny's going down to his place to wake him from yet another power nap and get him up and going, so to speak.

Anybody need a drink, or maybe two? You want that I should make them doubles?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all the Humpers and Humpees who make this place what it is, whatever that is.

Any day that starts with a HUG from Curvy is bound to be a good day.

There are two last-day contest entries and based solely on their intro's, both deserve a look-see (view), vote (at least one) and comment of some sort. Forgive me not having etched the names and story title to my faltering memory (truth be told, I actually did just that. Problem was I was working with an Etch-o-sketch)

Anyway, Hoser submitted the first one while Willfull penned the other entry. Check 'em out and welcome Willfull back into the fold.

There's bound to be more wit and wise-ass-dom needing to be spread around, you know, like ripe manure, but there are at least two new contest entries needing my attention. So whadda ya splitters of infinitives and danglers of participles wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
For those who 'groove' to horror and monsters, you might want to check out the 'Calls for Subs & Contest Entries' forum over on Stories Space. There are several including Classic Monsters and Seasonal Horror. Enjoy.

Cyn, hope both your mother and the weather are improving. Thoughts, prayers, and best wishes are all heading your way.

Here's your coffee. The usual assortment of condo-mints should be on the bar, somewhere or other.

Anybody else want a drink? In addition to coffee, tea, and hot chocolate, there's the bar's world ignored booze list of beers, wines and the ever popular fine lickers. So what'll it be?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
MAY the 4TH BE WITH YOU!

Greetings to all on National Star Wars Day. ;)
Michelle, congrats on what might be the longest single post in Rumplations history and most definitely one of the most entertaining.

Anybody need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Okay James, if you're da Bear, then bare it and take your belly rub like a real grown-up bear.

(Pauses in mid-chastisement to refill the now empty Deep Hole Fluid Injectors mug.)

So stop your whining and bear up by going down on your back and taking your belly rub like the Ursus Maritimeus you claim to be. ;)

Anybody need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this, the last Moanday mourning before the deadline for contests entries shows up, romping and stomping on procrastinators then moving on, no doubt giggling at the trail of trauma left behind.

You have been warned.

I'd pass along even more bits of good-natured misinformation but duty calls. The care and feeding of Big Bertha is an awesome responsibility which, I've been able to sneak past nost days. However, it's now time for your favorite blind barkeep to do the dirty deed.

Okay, BB has been freed from all her bottom settlement, rinsed out, then filled with Louisiana dark roast coffee and water from the picturesque Boggy Bottom Bayou. The tea kettle has been supplied with fluid from the same source which could come as a real taste sensation of sorts for our tea sippers and chocaholics.

Time for me to exit stage left, filled coffee mug in hand along with the last of the biscotti (sorry about that, honest) and join Coma and Tose in a discussion of the big news about the special prize Nika and James have proposed for the top contest finisher among Rumplators. So whadda ya rejects ffrom the school of literary hard knocks wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this the second day of May, or may not, depending on circumstances and time zones.

A blessing to Cynthia for doing her Curvy-thing and joining with Big Bertha for today's setup.

Larry, you old esoteric number cruncher, ready for a refill?

A salute to TG who is doing her bit to help boost the Gross national Product by heading for Costco. Me, I always like Costco 'cause they sell coffins. Always good to have one or two in the back of the garage just in case.

Time for me to ST*U, grab a mug full of Big Bertha's ambrosia, a handful of brownies, and make my way out to the back porch to meditate on baseball games with only seven innings while laying odds on when the temp will hit 100f (38c).

So whadda ya losers in the literary lottery of life wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all celebrating May Day. I'm told some folks march in the streets no doubt campaigning for peace, love and rock 'n roll. Meanwhile other folks are doing something strange around a 'May Pole'. Me, I didn't know many Poles were named May. (shrugs)

James, I've just filled my mug with whatever the heck it was you joined Big Bertha in concocting. Wish me luck.

And now for something really different. What follows is a list of the recent contest entries. If you haven't done the old read-vote-comment deal, well, get a move on and do it ASAP if not sooner. ;)

(title -- author)
A Wicked Weekend At Hazel Point Twisted_Skald
Butterball Hotli
ne Megalips93

The Foolish Freshman
PhilU

Locke, Cock & Two Smoking Jetboots WannabeWordsmith

Peen Goes For A Foolish Swim Green_Man
R & R: Rescue And Reward BostonBabe

Harebrained Or Lesbian Bunny Sex Cult vanessa26

Sweet As Candy JefferyB

The Emu, the Kraken, and the Fool for Love. CuriousAnnie

All Tamara's Panties deviantsusie

Cross Burning For Dummies RumpleForeskin

Pussified VioletVixen

Y'all don't hesitate to post links to entries still in the single-digit comment category which, imo, usually reflects vote totals.

That first mug of Big Bertha's blessed brew was acceptable so I'll try one more. Since there's a shortfall in the goody supply this morning, I'll contribute a generous supply of chocolate biscotti with almonds as y'all's weekend treat.

So whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and many wishes for a happy TGIF day.

There are now 41 contest entries with six days untilit's D(eadline)-Day. Newbies and my fellow forgetfuls should know that date depends on your time zone and how Nic is feeling next Thursday.

Here's hoping Michelle's entry shows up today. But while you're waiting for that great gettin' up moment, several seriously good entries have shown up. Many of them but not all, were Submitted by Dominant Rumplations writers, he says slipping in a no doubt inappropriate bd/sm reference.

Verity, shame on you for pranking Xander. Hey, big guy, don't pay her no matter mind unless you have a thick carpet in your bedroom and a low slung bed. ;)

Thanks to Michelle's efforts, I'm on my wobbly way to a full mug of Big Bertha's blessed brew. Add a few of Curvy's brownies and you have a healthy breakfast, imo. So whadda y'all wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Kimmi, you sure what ails you isn't a case of old-fashioned, distemper? Just asking. Whatever the 'real' issue, ;) you are hereby officially heckled to get mo' better real quick like.

Anybody want a drink to show your sympathy and support for poor Kimmi in her time of travail?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all fellow travelers on the great info highway in the Lands of Lush, looking forward to a restorative drink of two at Rumplations.

Just for the record, there is now one week left before the contest entry deadline. As of a few minutes ago, there were 37 entries.

Until someone who knows how to treat Big Bertha comes along, I've rinsed her out, shoveled in a load of Louisiana dark roast coffee and filled her tank with water from Fool's Bayou (yes, there really is one). The tea kettle has been done right, probably, trust me.

While waiting on snacks, let me remind one and/or all that the bar comes equipped with fried pork skins, pickled pig feet/trotters, beef jerky, and other goodies. All are available at a most nominal charge.
And don't forget the lineup of beers, wines and the ever-popular fine lickers.

So whadda ya wanna drink?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all humpers and humpees on Hump Day. TG, here's hoping that old barometer does right by you. Kimmi, double-Big Hugs for gettin that first injection and for the good news on that mammogram .

Has anyone made any sort of contact with Sprite?


Carl, you and james play nice.

Time to gather out on the back porch in case Tawny decides to take a morning skinny-dip. Bring your own drinks and goodies. So whadda ya wanna drink?
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