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RumpleForeskin
1 month ago
Straight Male, 78
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to Terance, Coma and Tose. Not being exclusive, it just seems we four are about it this morning. Very strange.

I'll get to work on Big Bertha. Okay, set aside her bottom settlement for Carl, rinsed out her innards, added Louisiana dark roast coffee and Mississippi River water, then added some of that goodness to the tea kettle and turn 'em both on.

It being Tuesday, there's a special on bags of salted peanuts for those on the watch for Vogons.

In case you're wondering, I'm here because I woke up and now can't get back to sleep.

Got my sig line back up and clanking along just in case someone is in dire need of a link to, 'Cross Burning for Dummies', my contest entry. (hint, hint)

Coffee's ready. Anybody wants some or maybe a selection from our menu of brawny beers winsome wines, and our always popular fine lickers

So whadda ya wanna drink?.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this marvelous Monday, he says, still basking in the warm afterglow of having his contest entry verified and posted. smile WARNING: pimp ahead.

Cross Burning for Dummies

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/humor/-cross-burning-for-dummies-.aspx

tells of the misadventures of three young, foolish KKK wannabe's as they try, and fail, to set-up a burning cross in the front yard of a lawyer being viewed unfavorably by the local Klan. This example of bad taste, worse luck and extreme foolishness has, in its favor, coming in at just under 3000 words. Please check it out if so inclined.

Many thanks to El Hencky who moderated my pile of pitiful prose and to James and all the other Rumplators for their encouragement.

Now, who needs a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Scott, I thought Lush had upped the requirement for RR's from one mod doing da dirty deed to two mods having to agree. No biggie. Over at SStStories Space, the one mod rule still applies.

Would someone help me store this case of vintage Jameson? It's my present for James -- and don't ask cause I ain't gonna tell y'all why. ;)

Now that's the case has been stored away all safe and secure in the official Rumplations safe and secure place, youse guys can either wait for James to offer to share with the rest of us or order some beers and wait for hell to freeze over. It's your call.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and all that jazz. Many thanks to the dynamic duo of Big Bertha and Curvy for today's setup.

There are now 31 entries and eleven (11) (XI) days before the contest deadline. (nudge, nudge, hint, hint)

Just for the record, Sarah's Atlanta Braves did not beat my Diamondbacks yesterday on account as how the game was canceled.

Past time for me to check out today's edition of Big Bertha's blessed brew. Of course, a few brownies are a mandatory addition. So whadda the rest of you literary bottom feeders wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all, especially those eager to begin the Kat's Birthday weekend festivities.

MJust finished Violet's superb contest entry and did so without once humming 'What's New Pussycat?

A blessing on Curvy's Cute Cranium for today's setup. I've already finished one mug of Big Bertha's beneficial brew and will start on number two once I finish this bloviation.

Just a reminder that the contest deadline is ONLY 12 days away. So far, there are 31 entries.

Now to take my refilled mug and a handful of goodies over to the corner table to join Coma and Tose in an in-depth discussion of whether the string bikini theory is pertinent to Rumplations mission statement -- or something sorta like that.

Anybody need a drink?

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a bundle of TGIF wishes to Curvy and Big Bertha.

Don't know about the rest of youse guys, but I'm still smiling at Soleil's test results. Sure wish there'd been a few more like hers on my transcript way back when.;)

It's still over two hours until sunrise out here in the desert. But being a tough guy well taught by the Army to 'hurry up and wait' I'm gonna fill my mug with the ambrosia on offer, then grab a brownie or two and find a comfy rocker out on the back porch in case Tawny shows up for her morning dip just a bit early. Anybody else need a drink or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and Happy Earth Day wishes to all, especially the many Earthlings who infest Rumplations, no matter how big their bar tab might be. ;)

Now about my contest entry. Well, this is embarrassing, but truth be told, it was returned to me for, among other things: typos, word confusions, missing hyphens in compound expressions, excess space between words, punctuation errors et cetera. Its hard to believe I was able to cram so much incompetence into just 3000 words.

What I'm gonna do is give it another edit, rerun it through the MS Word spell, grammar and punctuation checkers, then beg someone to point out mistakes I've still missed.

After all that, I'll resub, but as a non-contest entry. Considering my contest track record, that's no great loss.

And in conclusion (honest) to me, it's obvious I need to bone-up on the recent changes to MS Word and the JAWS screen reader. Sorry about all this.

Now I'm gonna fill my mug with Big Bertha's elixir of life, grab a goody or two and go sit out on the back porch and feel sorry for myself. ;) Anybody need anything to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this glorious Hump Day. While I'm sure every true-blue Rumplator has been worrying about my missing-inaction,I'm now back so feel free to shift into serious worrying gear.

And why, you ask, has this calamity befalling we, the poor, the impoverished, the broke writers of the porn? Well, let me tell ya, it's like this.

A few minutes ago, I submitted a 3K story to the 'Foolish' contest. Granted that was a horrible thing to do to some unsuspecting, overworked, frazzled moderator. But I'm told they are a brave, hardy group so maybe verifying my poor pitiful prose won't cause permanent mental damage.

Now to business. Whadda y'all wanna drink? James is picking up the tab for this round on account as how he's the foul fiend who crammed all the trash under the corner table.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Soliel, whatever the heck James just babbled -- me, too. ;)

Looking forward to your upcoming 'aced that test' celebration in Rumplations.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Real Life News

Former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin was found guilty on all three counts in the killing of George Floyd.

* Many may disagree, but in my opinion, this is a major goodness. smile
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings. Is it still moanday? It is? Oh, bother. Think I'll go back to toiling in the literary vineyards though still harvesting only the grapes of wrath.

But first, a tall beer and a short break out on the back porch are in order. Anybody else wanna a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
One vodka lemonade coming up for Kimmi and a pint of the best for Curvy.

You two cultured ladies are advised to endure the unendurable until James, Scott and Xander begin to wind down.

Anybody else need a drink and, considering the current conditions around here, should those drinks be doubles or triples?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Da Bunny is back! That is, of course, a major goodness. Unlike some of the less high minded among us, I'll make no comment on the fact both she and James were out-of-pocket at approximately the same time and that both are Canadians. Whatever the real story, the Rumplations Support Group (RSG) are glad both Bunny and da Bear are back, safe even if of questionable soundness.

So whadda the rest of you unforced literary errors wanna drink to celebrate?



ps: Seeker, that joke might have been one of your best, a most concerning possibility. ;)
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all including this apparent newbie claiming to be a greeter named, James. Might have to get Rumplations cracked investigation unit known as the FBI (fumbling, bumbling, incompetence), to check him out.

Meanwhile, everyone is invited over to the 'Site Announcement' forum at 'Stories Space' to help celebrate our Larry (aka Green Man over here and, Survivor over there) posting his 500 story on the venerable, Sacre' Bleu board.

Thanks to the combined efforts of Big Bertha and her partner in caffeination, Curvy, coffee and tea are available. Gonna fill my mug, grab a brownie or two and join Coma and Tose for an in-depth discussion of , uh, something or other. Anybody want a drink before all that jawing begins?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Hi ya, DX! Always a goodness when you drop by. Granted, it is a way too infrequent goodness, but we'll take what we can get.

Drink-wise, may I suggest our in-house special? It's half coffee, half hot chocolate and a shot of two of brandy to help the other two ingrediants get along. Once upon a time someone dreamed up a name for it but that's long since vanished from group memory.

Hum, maybe DX Delight. It's a possibility. ;)

Come back soon to defend your name and/or honor.

Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all, especially those who enter seeking an abode of peace and understanding, but stay anyway.

COFFEE! Slept late and now must deal with being one mug behind in my morning caffeine consumption. But thank to the unquenchable Curvy, relief, along with a brownie or two, will soon be on the way.

As for tips to anyone positioned behind the bar, I've gotten more than my fair share. In fact, "Don't be here when the morning comes," is among the more memorable tips to come my way.

Time to concentrate on drinking Big Bertha's blessed brew while ingesting one or two of Curvy's brownies out on the back porch/beer garden. While it's past time for Tawny's morning skinny-dip, but maybe she also slept in today. So anybody want a drink? I'd recommend a tall one if you decide to join me.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter searching for the meaning of life and, thanks to Michelle, free beer.

The Discworld novels of Terry Pratchett have an uncanny ability to help me out of bad moods and such. And while the cop (Night Watch) and technology (newspapers, motion pictures, etc.) are my favs, all are good.

Gotta scoot. It's a case of either keep on babbling here or taking care of some RL pancakes.

Anybody who wants a drink needs to check with Michelle. ;)
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Afffirmations of afternoon affection to all and a big welcome back to Michelle. Who knows, if things keep going this way, James might re-emerge.

There's a couple new writers over on Stories Space. Both are guys from the UK and their work is worth your checking it out. JPemment and Happy Jack are their aliases.

Now I'm gonna concoct a large Long Island Iced Tea then stretch out and try to finish re-rereading , Terry Pratchett's "Making Money' novel (highly recommended).
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and best wishes for a humping good, Hump Day, to all who enter.

Just checked the competition list and there are now 15 entries awaiting views, votes and comments.

Thanks to our C&C combo (Curvy and Carl) coffee and tea are both available as are some breakfast nibbles.

It's past time to refill my mug with Big Bertha's blessed brew, then grab a goody or two and join Coma and Tose for an in-depth discussion of the string theory, whatever that is, and the upcoming NFL draft. Anybody out there need a drink before we three odd men get started?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who manage to make the transition from the orderly life outside in Lushland, to the somewhat less than orderly life here in Rumplations.

Big Bertha needed a deep cleaning (what have y'all been doing to the poor thing?) Thanks to Larry's helpksome sandblasting followed by steam cleaning and a good wipe down may have done the trick. She's now been loaded with dark roast Louisiana coffee and water from Bayou Teche and seems to be happily converting it into her ambrosia. Water from the same source has the tea kettle kettling right along.

If coffee, tea or hot chocolate aren't on your gimmie list, consider the bar's lineup of beers, wines, and our always popular fine lickers.

Morning, Chica, here's your milk on the rocks Glad you dropped in. Things are unusually slow at the moment. Not sure there hasn't been some sort of traffic bump on the great info highway. However, while the quantity may be lacking, the quality is top-notch. Bothe Larry and Kat are keepers. And TG, (Kat) happy I am things went so well for you and yours.

Unfortunately, none of our usual collection of goodie providers has stopped by. However, the bar can provide, for a most nominal charge, such traditional bar goodies as: fried pork skins, pickled pig's feet, beef jerky, and since it is Tuesday, salted peanuts just in case the Vogons show up.

Me, I'm gonna grab a mugfull of Big Bertha's elixir of life, a bag of fried pork skins and go commune with whatever is outback. The rest of you guys are welcome to tag along.

So whadda the rest of you refugees from the shallow end of the gene pool wanna drink?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Chica, it weren't me. Here's an excerpt from the Site Announcement, uh, announcement.

in OS Award - Lo! Baphomet! - StarBelliedBoy
by

BTW, there are many non-alcoholic drinks available here including coffee, tea and hot chocolate. We also offer such non-alcoholic mixed drinks such as our world ignored 'Virgin Hannah'. Larry, swears by them. If I can recall the recipe I'll be happy to whip one up for you. In fact, I'll be happy to do that even if I don't remember the recipe. Innovations are us here at Rumplations.

As for a story of mine, my one and only contest winner should have a link in my sig line. Thanks for asking.

You ready for a 'Virgin Hannah' or maybe a tumbler full of chilled H2O? Anybody else out there need a drink.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
And now, for something even bigger than a newbie joining us -- no kidding.

A quick trip to the Site announcement forum will reveal the truth that another Rumplator has been given the Outstanding Series (OS) award. Details available on Site Announcements.

I'll drink to that. Which reminds me, Chica here is the one free, though very small beer newbies receive -- unless it slips what passes for our minds.

.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Chica, please allow me to introduce myself I'm Rumple, a cranky old fart with no wealth or fame and the bar's 'numero uno' blind barkeep. James, is the officila greeter and back-up barkeep. Michelle is our bewitchhing barkeep and Curvy and Tonya try to take up any slack in the mornings. So whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all still in lockdown and to the rest wondering what to do now that their jailhouse has been opened.

MARTIN! Glad I am you checked in before I had to sic the bloodhounds on you. ;) It's still a challenge to crank up a big load of sympathy for someone suffering the lockdown woes while sharing space with Ines, in Paris, in April. Hang in there, both of you.

What follows is a link that may or may not work to my new Micro over on Stories Space, 'How I Broke My Nose Playing Chess at a Church Summer Camp'. It's the gospel truth and my first new storty in months. Please check it out if you get a chance.
https://www.storiesspace.com/stories/micro-fiction/-how-i-broke-my-nose-while-playing.aspx#60744c8b8254273560605aee

Time for coffee, doughnuts and some mindless meditation with Coma and Tose. Anyone want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to any semi-sentient, and/or mostly conscious life forms. First things first -- let me check on the job James did or didn't do getting Big Bertha and the tea kettle doing their thang, then the Right Rev Rumple Foreskin will come by to hear confessions. Best I can tell, the old Reverand has a long list of Rumplators with much to confess to lined up.

Tawny went to get him up some time ago. Can't imagine why it taken so long.

WM Male! Glad I am your stopped by. Sorry I am for missing you. Hopeful I am you'll come dragging back in sooner or later. ;)

So while we're waiting for the Right Rev, whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
It's 91 f (33c) out here in the desert. On the other hand, the humidity is 6%.

James swilling down G&T's reminded me to ask if anyone has tried the new Sprite with ginger? A few choice words would be preferred over some 'cute' image of a poor soul heaving their guts up.

;)

Time for a cold beer to drink while chewing on an appppetizing hunk of beef jerky. So who else is in need of a bit of Rumplations' Refined Refreshments?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
James, he wrote: BTW, Bill, you intimidated Nika somewhat. I chatted with her this morning, and she was afraid you didn't like the latest chapter of her story. I told her, no, you did like it, you were just offering useful suggestions, as you do with authors you like. And polar bears.

Me, I replied: James, perhaps this is just more proof that the age of miracles hasn't passed, but you are approximately 100% correct. Please give Nika my apologies for not wording my comment mo' better and then please give her a big cyber hug for me. BTW, I also like apes. The librarian in Discworld is my hero.

(slides a big frosty mug filled with cold 'Merican beer, down to Coach Buz. ;) )) So who wants a drink?

;)
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and congratulations to all for making it to the weekend. There have been many strange happenings here at Rumplations, but one of the strangest ever took place last night. Seems a most original three-way emerged with Sarah, James and Scott involved. It was a case of the Mountain Girl and two Ontario Oddballs with Polar Bears and Apes joining in the action.

There were an incredible number of first-rate, must-read-NOW stories on the main page yesterday. That's my excuse for reading instead of working on my contest entry. -- no, really.Check 'em out for yourself. Then you'll have to decide whether to settle in for some serious reading or add a bunch to your reading cue.

Big Bertha may havee been tended to earlier but, if so, she was dang near empty and need more TLC. Worry not. Here needs have been net and the kettle is full of hot water for tea and coco. Snacks are currently on the scarce to non-existent list but dem calories will be coming, probably.

So whadda ya literary low-lifes wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and TGIF blessings to all who infest the surreal world of Rumplations. Many thanks to Tonya for today's setup and for her accounts of the indomitable Littley.

To those who have lead the way today: Kimmi, Curvy, Carl, Aussie Kitty, everyone I've failed to mention and, last but least, James, How y'all are?.

Many thanks for all the kind words about my still most definitely inchoate contest entry. This damn depression has made my block even worse than usual so those gentle prods to get the damn thing finished and submitted are both helpful and appreciated.
. That is, of course, a blessing for Lush reders.

Me, I'm gonna fill my mug with Big Bertha's elixir, grab a bag of fried pork skins and join Coma and Tose for and in-depth discussion of metaphysics and other meaningless morning mumblings. So whadda the rest of ya wanna drink?
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