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RumpleForeskin
1 month ago
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a big Happy Birthday to both Annie and Annie. Obviously, June was a most productive month. ;)

Several Rumplators have new stories including Vanessa, Rayne, Sprite and two of Rumplations 'Fellow Travelers', Master Jonathan and ChrisM, and then there's Laura's exceptional, 'Deceit'.. Check 'em all out.

(sips coffee -- pauses to ponder, then sips again) Sweet mother-of-pearl! The age of miracles has not passed. For the coffee James concocted is not only potable but drinkable. Let me tell you, one and all, it's like this, when you combine his contribution to the Rumplations in Court orgey epic and now this coffee, I'm thinking old James might be in line to have his rank reinstated to, Major Disappointment or some such. What say y'all?

Think I'll refill my mug, grab some goodies and go sit out on the back porch/beer garden and wait for Tawny to take her early morning skinny-dip. BTW, Tawny's door swings both ways, so its suitable entertainment for all Rumplators.

Anybody need a drink before I head outside?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
In my most humble opinion, if you want to become a better writer there are a select few stories at Lush wich you should read, then reread and try to figure out the mechanical, craft-of-writing aspects behind the great read.

I've just finished another one and strongly urge all Rumplators to give it a read. After that, it's your call.

'Deceit' by Laura may contain 'only' one sex scene, but the entire story oozes a sexual ambiance that reminded me of Tennessee Williams' 'Streetcar Named Desire'.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/taboo/-deceit-.aspx

Check it out and let other Rumplators know if you think it's worthy of a, Rumplations Recommended Read (RRR)."

I'll drink to that. So what about the rest of you literary low-lifes?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all Moanday Mourners. Judging by the comments of Carl and James, it can be a blessing to be blind, sometime, like, for instance, now. ;)

Sad to say, but it's time we all got back to our regularly scheduled debauchery, both drunken and sober, along with any other deeds of casual carnality. Yeah, it's a tough job but someone must maintain the standards for the rest of Lushland.

Past time for a mug of Big Bertha's best brew and a doughnut or two (mercy buckets, Brother Carl). Then I'll join Coma and Tose to consider the ramifications of whatever the hell happened this weekend. Anybody out there wanna drink or two? Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, are all available along with the bar's famous collections of infamous beers, wines and our always popular fine lickers.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all on this, the last official day of winter, or something like that.

A tip of the old sombrero to Carl, James and Curvy for getting things moving around here.

Curvy, she wrote: Bill, I hope you have a wonderful visit with your family. Those great-grandkids need spoiling!

Me, I wrote: Damn, straight! It's a challenge but I'll give it my best shot. ;)

Kimmi, always feel free to drop in and, if you're so inclined, ventilate. Writer-type lifeforms seem prone to more than their fair share of 'down so low, bottom looks like up' vicissitudes, and while some may be worse than others, all are bad. So never hesitate to share your cares and/or woes.

After all that, I feel a need for Big Bertha's blessed brew and a doughnut or two. Anybody want some coffee, tea, or maybe beer, wine or our always popular fine lickers?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings of a TGIF nature to all who enter and a personal 'Mega Congrats' to TG for her great family news and to Martin for doing what his live-in nurse done told him to do or not do, as the case may be, and for his now getting mo' better, eyeball-wise.

A blessing on Curvy for getting Big Bertha cranking and for the brownies and for just being Curvy. And a pat on the head for James for not messing up any more than he has. ;)

I'll be in and out this weekend due to having most of my family here for a visit. That includes two great-grandchildren in woeful need of spoiling by one of their great grandpa's.;)

With brownies in one hand and a mug full of fresh, scalding hot coffee in the the other, I'll join our two soon-to-be celebraties, Coma and Tose, to discuss fandom and fame and other imponderables. Anybody need a drink? Don't forget our line-up of beers, wines and fine lickers.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all still recovering from yesterday's world-wide celebration of the birthdays of me and old St. Patrick. ;)

Since James still suffers from Big Bertha phobia, Curvy and I have removed the bottom settlement (sludge) and save it for Carl and the other caffeine 'holics, rinsed her out a bit, added a heaping helping of dark roast New Orleans style coffee and water from down on da bayou, then patted her start button and now await the goodness. BTW, the same water now fill the tea kettle which is preparing it for out tea sippers and hot chocaholics.

Many thanks for all the happy birthday type greetins even though a few, some, a bunch contained sentiments such as: Damn, but you're old. ;)

Now to fill my mug with Big Bertha's liquid ambrosia, grab some of the many leftover goodies and prepare myself for whatever the hell happens next. Hmm, wonder if Curvy might want to join me out on the back porch?

Anybody out there wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all fellow travelers down the great info highway as it works its inscrutable way through the Lush literary landscape. BTW, that was 'inscrutable' not 'inscrewable'.

James, don't think of your new rank as a demotion but as a reassignment based on past performance and anticipated future needs of Rumplations. And if any more consolation is needed, well, it could've been worse. There's always 'Private Parts'. ;)

Rumors persist that Michelle (Skald) may be coming back before long, sooner or later, or when she damn well feels like coming back. While that is, no doubt, a major goodness, I'm wondering if anyone has an update on Kimmi who is on a semi-sabbatical and Verbal, who may still be digging out from that Colorado blizzard.

Amidst all the doom and gloom, I have info-bites which should please even the most melancholy, at least among us US of A sports fans. Major League Baseball's regular season begins in two weeks, and college football teams are now starting spring football practice.

Bet you feel less depressed already.

Time for a mug full of the blessed brew concocted by Tonya and Big Bertha. That along with a stack of Carl's flapjacks should get me set up for the rest of the morning. So whadda the rest of you single-digit IQ scribblers wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Evening, y'all. The following is in no order, logical or otherwise.

James, been meaning to comment on your updated rank. While you and a few other might feel your appropriate rank is, Major Disappointment, imo and fwiw, you've gotten way above your pay grade. May I humbly suggest, Corporal Punishment'? Just a thought.

While reading the exchange between Rayn and Sarah, it occurred to your beloved blind barkeep that they are both mountain girls.

And Rayne, the big corner table is the usual nesting ground of Coma and Tose. They're both semi-catatonic, slack jawed old-timers and won't care and probably not even notice others sitting at the table.

We have another Rumplations life-form in Colorado, Verbal (Jeff). Hope he and his lady, the lovely LJ are okay.


Seeker (Scott) that board you handle must have some very interesting discussions. Glad I am that the 'Think Tank' here at Lush seldom, if ever, gets into religion. (shudder)

Think I'll have me a big mugs of hot chocolate with a bunch of mini-marshmallows. Anybody else want something to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this most inauspicious Moanday Mourning that has befallen us on tthe 'Ides of March', the day, way back when, Big Julie Caesar was cut, slashed, and stabbed down by Brutus and the boys.

A blessing on Carl's cranium for the set up. BTW, is that image you posted of BB the b/w photo of a very tall coffee urn next to a very short young lady? Whatever the case, many thanks.

Now pardon me, or just grant me a parole, don't make me no matter mind, while I grab a mug full of Big Bertha's best brew and one, only one -- honest, of Carl's doughnuts. Then I'll join Coma and Tose for an in-depth discussion of the brackets for this year's men's college basketball tourney. All are welcome to join, but bring your own coffee and doughnut. Which reminds me, whadda ya flotsam and/or jetsam in this cesspool befouling the otherwise lovely Lush literary landscape wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Mega-congrats on the 'EP' a well earned recognition for yet another award worthy example of your skill. So when will the next installment of the 'Tobias' series be heading our way. ;)
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Ines, you go gal! ;) Just a semi-serious reminder that Lush has a big collection of audio stories to include my one and only (sobs in self-pity) contest winner. They are all recorded by Lush folks so the audio quality will vary but the prose is, of course, first-rate.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings daylight savings timers.

Martin, now you stop poaching on my territory. I'm the official eye patient around here. Granted that's now a vanishing memory but I did have a long run.

But seriously, listen to your nurse. Sounds like your medicos know their business so between their advice and her hands-on care (if you're a good patient) you'll be doing and seeing fine.

James, many thanks for posting all the poetry winners. So Tans has now won a prose and then poetry competition back-to-back. Remind me to charge her double next time she stops by. Also and in addition, let's start putting Curvy's beer bill on Tams tab as part of our celebration of the EP our great Cyn (so to speak) just picked up.
.
Big Bertha has been given the works and is now turning dark roast coffee grounds and water from the Bayou Teche into an elixir for the gods. The tea kettle is also getting ready for all the tea sippers and chocaholics

So whadda you patrons of this blight on the Lush landscape wanna drink?.
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Earlier today, back in the far distant PPN time (pre-power nap) Carl posted a classy music vid by Chet Baker and...

Fuzzy, he asked:
Pray tell me if you all think this is toooooo classy for this dive

Me, I replied: Carl, are you kidding? 'Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight' would be too classy for this joint
as would 'Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road'.


And I'll drink to that. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

The cracked brain trust here at Rumplations has come up with the world's greatest handle. While available to all, it might be especially appealing to all the cute LADY-TYPE Rumplators who lean toward the submissive side of the tracks.

Inspired by all the talk of vaccines and subcutaneous injections, Rumplations is proud to present the world's most perfect, most health conscious handle .

SUB_CUTE-TANEOUS

You may now return to your usual perverted pursuits. ;)

Oh yeah, anybody want a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all, especially the caffeine deprived. However, I'm here to report that Big Bertha has been cleaned, filled with dark roast ground coffee and water from the Bayou Teche and is busy converting all that into her blessed ambrosia. Water for the tea kettle came from the same sacred source.

Wet and Wild ask about closing time. Well, let me tell ya, it's like this. With Rumplators outstationed from Paris west to Canada and the US of A and then over to Kangaroo Kountry, coming up with a closing time that works for all would be more bother than it's worth. Therefore and forthwith, this is a 24/7 joint. ;)

Gill, thanks for the kind wishes. At the moment, the sinus headache pain has graduated to the status of 'ache' which may or may not be progress.

Coffee's cooked. No doubt the tea kettle has the water at the perfect temp for making, you know, tea. And thanks to some kind hearted type, we even have goodies.

Me, I'm gonna sit out on the back porch/beer garden and wait on our serving wench and stock room attendant, Tawny the Trailer Tramp, to take her morning skinny dip.

Anybody want something to drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
warning to any non-sportin' types -- this here is a sports of sorts post

Carl, deepest sympathy is hereby extended to fans of the University of Kansas Jayhawks sports teams. First the head football coach and the school part ways due to his 'alleged' bad behavior while HC at my school, LSU (Louisiana State). Then the guy who hired him, the head of the school's athletic program (Athletic Director) is terminated and now the school'slegendary, blue-blood' men's basketball team ends a 'season from hell with even more bad news. Brings to mind the lyrical lament from the old 'Hee Haw' TV show, 'Gloom, despair, agony on me. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.'

About the only 'light at the end of the tunnel' for sports fans in your neck of the woods is the Royals are about to start playing ball. Hang in there.



(slides a 'three-finger' serving of Jameson over to Carl) BTW, are 'lap donkey's the next hot item in exotic pets? ;)

Greetings to all our recent newbies. Someday I'll try to meet y'all one-on-one if today's sinus headache from hell ever gets tired of tormenting me. You have been warned..

Okay, anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
TG, those are low to no calorie chocolate cake brownies, right? If not, and their the old fashioned kind with loads of calories and great taste, then I'll only take two. ;)

And speaking of two: anybody have any word on Kimmi and Michelle?

Pity poor, Susie. Tell y'all what, to help her deal with her recent traumatic experience, somebody pass the hat to raise some money to help her buy replacement batteries for her vibrator.

And speaking of Susie, if you check out the main page list of new stories, scroll down until you come to three back-to-back-to-back stories by Chris, Brook and Susie. They're're all winners -- so are their stories. ;)

Okay, who needs a drink or maybe a refill?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings TGIF believers. Thanks to Tonya, Big Bertha has been cleansed, filled with dark roast New Orleans coffee and water from the Dry Prong Water Works. For the tea sippers, a more refined water was used in the kettle. Let me know how that goes -- assuming you can. Of course.

the usual lineup of unusual beers, wines,and fine lickers is available for your purchasing pleasure.

Now to fuss at James for dropping in and not leaving some goodies. James, old buddy, around here it's considered bad form to criticize someone doing the very best they know how. So heeding that wisdom and my old Grannies nseldom if ever followed advice that When you can't say something nice about some incompetent low-life, just say nothing at all. what follows will be a minute of silent meditation.

As for this new 'tawdry tell-all', feel free to 'hit me with your best shot' he says, channeling his inner Pat Benatar.

Coffee's ready to be quaffed and the tea kettle has its water (whatever the source) ready to aid in the creation of sippable tea. So whadday ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Hump Day greetings to both the objectified and to any objectionable obbjectifiers.

Coffee! This is a serious call for Big Bertha's elixir of life.

Think I'll haul my freight outside to the back porch to sip my coffee and try to discover the answer to that eternal question, 'What's happening?' If anyone figures that one out, share the wisdom, such as it may be.

Anybody want a drink? You know: coffee, tea, hot chocolate,, plus whines, blears and fine lickers are all available. So whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who do and sympathy to those who aren't but wish they were.

A blessing on Curvy for the new story in her historical series centered on the amorous adventures of, Tobias,a young minister in 18th century rural England. This one, 'Meg's Match' concerns, Meg, a most comely bi-sexual courtesan, his friend and sometimes bed-mate. Check it, and all the rest out. Besides, da Violet Vixen agrees so you can't lose.

Michelle, where can I find one of those earth elementals? A dryad or two would also be nice to have along with an owners' manual. And a multitude of thanks for another super-efficient setut.

Martin, I'm trying, honest, but its dang hard to work up much sympathy for a guy locked down in Paris with your lady -- but I'll keep trying.

James, hope you and your own lady have a great visit. Be happy and stay safe.

TG, what ya wanna have waiting for you after your workout? And who else needs a drink, either sooner or later?

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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, to all Moanday Mourners. Tonya, you go super Mom. ;)

Michelle, looking forward to checking out some of your special recipes.

To all the other bits of flotsam and jetsam that have washed up this morning, grab some of Big Bertha's blessed brew, one of Tonya's blueberry muffins, and/or a breakfast roll or two from the enchanting Michelle and come join the low-lifes sitting on the back porch/beer garden waiting on the symbolic sunrise out here in the desert)and Tawny's morning skinny-dip in the dumpster hot tub.

So who wants a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Special K, Gill has been dealing with a very similar situation while recouping from lingering effects of covid. PM her if you feel like sharing sympathy and survival tips. Hang in there.

After that, I need a drink. Anybody else feel the need for one or maybe two? You want that I should make them doubles or triples?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings, to all raunchy Rumplators. Jay, don't believe I've had a chance to give you an official welcome to this toxic waste dump along the great info highway. Hard to believe how lucky one newbie can be. ;)

Welcome back greetings to our, Barefoot Lilly. Just a reminder that the dress code is, as always, 'You're never fully undressed with a shirt on.'

Michelle, just for the record, I'm mad to you. I mean how could you dream of gutting down all that fried chicken without letting me have a taste of your breasts, or thigh, or leg? ;)

James, here's a big 'thumbs up' for your new story. Lush is such a good place to experiment with different styles. Congrats on that first-rate change of pace.

Emma, good it is to learn both you and your mantis are thriving.

(slurp) Scott, you sure you're the one who got Big Bertha to do her thing? I mean to say, this stuff is downright drinkable.

The rest of y'all keep on keeping on with the carrying on. Anybody need a drink to help that along?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all rowdy Rumplators. Hope your TGIF celebrations are going well or have gone well, as the case may be.

Martin, thanks for the morning music. A friend of mine always wanted to be reincarnated as Tina Turner's microphone. A guy's gotta dream.

Carl's gone to Oklahoma, James to yoga, and me, I've long since gone outta my mind.

Michelle, your singing ain't really that bad, not at all -- and thanks for the ear plugs. ;)

Time to fill my mug with some of Big Bertha's ambrosia, grab a handful of goodies,, try not to groan when a certain lady responds to my grab with a sharp elbow to the ribs, then escape to the back porch/beer garden to wait for sunrise, Tawny's morning skinny-dip in the dumpster hot tub while massaging my bruised ribs.

So whadda ya bottom feeders from the shallow end of the literary gene pool wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
For the clueless callow youths among us, here's the full text of the joke at the end of that last post.

event: At the end of another Burns and Allen TV Show, they appear together onstage.

George Burns: Say goodnight, Gracie.

Gracie Allen: All right, George. Goodnight, Gracie.

Me, I'm outta here. Got to recoup and regroup after finishing Violet's, Blood, a Recommended Read. So who wants, needs, craves a nightcap or two?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
James, why waste good scotch on a horrible, no-good day when there's Safeway Brand Scotch available?

And while you're muttering about the bar's selection of scotch, please take a look out the back door. Either someone instaled a giant and somewhat mis-aligned car crusher or Michelle is 'singing' 'Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you.' Me, I don't mind either one except if it's her singing, then the neighborhood hounds will be joining in any minute now.

Here's your Safeway Brand Scotch. Figured you'd want it straight up. Anybody else need a bit of the good stuff?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Terri, she wrote (about Michelle): She walks into Rumples, one hip at a time
Like a broken field runner slippin' through the lines

Me, I said: Ain't no way. Michelle would get a 15-yard penalty for 'backfield in motion'. ;)

And a blessing on you for the Joe Duffy link. 'Third Rock from the Sun 'trails 'John Deere Green' on my list of his favorites but not by much and it always makes me smile.

Anybody need a nightcap or maybe a wake-up? Heck, this joint can deliver overpriced, underwhelming versions of either one. So whadda ya wanna drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Susie, she said: Lonely Werewolf Girl is the first of a trilogy by Scottish author Martin Miller about Kalix MacRinnalch, a laudanum-addicted, socially-anxious, anorexic, bipolar werewolf.

Me, I typed: Waht's not to love? smile

Thanks, Susie. Think I'll have to check on that series.

You ready for an evening beer? Dumb question. Might as well draw two since Curvy will have her own needs. Anybody else need a drink?
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RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
LUSH has a new member: The Winged Insect. She has posted a story which should be on the main page.

Thought most Rumplationists, especially, Emma, might find that info interesting. ;)

It's 79f out here in the desert. Think I'll grab some sweet iced tea, toss in a shot or two of our own, Verisimilitude Vodka: the despair of Valdosta, grab whatever goodies are still around and go sit out on the back porch/beer garden and wallow in the warmth.

Anybody want a drink or two? If so, ya want a double or triple?
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