Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
RumpleForeskin
1 month ago
Straight Male, 78
0 miles · Phoenix
Profile Stories
43
Ebooks Friends
61
Follows
81
Forum
6.7k
Groups
1

Forum
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all fellow travelers down the great info highway , especially those who have become lost and now enter this den of depravity seeking solace and cheap booze.

Hope Kimmi is back on her feet or to be more precise, back on her seat, following yesterdays ass-ault on her dainty, but durable, derrire.

So how y'all doing, contest-wise? I'm still tinkering with mine. It won't be a winner or finish in the top ten, of course, but it will be different which around here, is saying something.

Time for coffee and goodies and a round of meditation on the back porch or maybe a late morning power napin the stock room. This being retired can wear a fellow out. ;) So whadda ya writers of the porn want, drink-wise, that is?

View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Kimmi, in light of your recent fund raiser, may I suggest you do the Hemingway thing and scribble away while standing at a high writer's table. He said when his legs got tired, it was time to stop writing and start drinking.

Moonstone, proud to have you drop in. Either James or I would give you the traditional one free (but very small) cyber beer and an orientation that's second to none. So come back soon.

DD, by absolutely no power vested upon me by Nic (She who must be obeyed) or any of the other head shed folks at Lush Central, I now proclaim you the new, reigning Rumplations 'BUTT BEATER' record holder.

About an hour till sunset out here in the desert. So cold beer in hand, I shall find a free rocking chair out on the back porch/beer garden and contemplate how the favorite teams of dang near every Rumplations baseball fan either lost or is losing. So who wants and/or needs a drink or two?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all humpers and humpees on this Hump Day here in the deepest cesspool in all the land of Lush.

Last night's impromptu beer and ribbs feast was a big success -- best I recall. Later on, we might stage a, Cajun special pig roast, beer bust and street dance. Just a thought.

Time for another mug of coffee, a few goodies and some time spent out on the back porch communing with nature while contemplating life, its consequences and inevitabilities. or some such.

Any of you literary loafers want something to drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Buz, tell ya what, let's fill a #10 washtub with ice and Bud long necks, order in a pile of BBQ ribs and talk about the upcoming 2021 college football season, well, that and women.

Anybody else want to join us for a couple drinks and/or a rib or two?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a big 'What's up?' to all.

Michelle, it is a goodness to have you and your legendary behind back behind the bar.

Carl, a day without you around this honky-tonk is like a day without rutabagas.
James, that was a most spirited self-defense. While neither impressive nor convincing, it was sorta entertaining. ;)


Gonna grab me some of Big Bertha's ambrosia and a batch of goodies, then join Coma and Tose in a discussion of Baylor's beat down of previously undefeated Gonzaga in the men's Final Four college championship basketball game. Anybody out there need a drink?

.
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Welcome to this den of deviant depravity, Caramel. Glad you stopped in. Pimping stories is a major life style around here, just be sure to include a link to the story (some folks have the sig line turned off).

I wouldn't sweat your entry's view and vote total. By Lush contest standards, we have a long way to go before a lot of folks panic and start hurrying to beat the deadline. Compounding your situation was the Easter holiday weekend. Things got so slow in here we actually began talking about editing our stories, honest.

Stop by whenever you get in the mood. Most of this crowd claims to have been housebroken, and probably are -- most of the time) Soak up all the ambiance you can tolerate an. Rumore has it, some cyber beverages both alc holic and otherwise or consumed on these premises. and non.

And speaking of drinks, what in the name of Terry Southern do you literary lay-abouts wanna drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all who enter, especially those who discover this ain't the local Christian Science reading room, then sigh in relief and decide to stay.

Now that Easter has come in gone, it's time to start trying to come up with a contest entry that's both sexy and funny or at least mildly amusing.

It is a major goodness to have Tonya check in, and not just because she came in bearing goodies.

Gonna grab me some of dem goodies and a mug full of the blessed brew Big Bertha and Curvy have provided for we who prefer java. The tea kettle is also available for duty. And don't forget the bar's universally disparaged lineup of bad beers, worse wines but saved from infamy by our ever popular fine lickers. So whadd ya wanna drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all. For the benefit of those who showed up late and then didn't check out Curvy's post, here is a re-re-post copied from Carlton's St. James Infirmery Blues. ;)

curvygalore wrote:
Someone recommended a free app, Natural Readers, that reads your story back to you out loud. Blimmin' brilliant! It's now part of my editing kit.

Those words of wisdom reminded me of another possible addition to a writer's editing kit -- A word frequency checker. Most word processors let you find out how often a designated word appears, . That's good, but even better would be a program that gives a count on all the words appearing in a story, chapter, paragraph, etc. Another plus would be the program being able to spot short repetitious phrases.

At the moment, all I have is a very old word frequency counter and the spell check feature in Word, but something tells me someone among the Rumplations writing rabble will reveal one to the rest of us. If not, then it's 'seek and ye shall find' time in the land of Lush.

So who wants a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Youse guys (you know who you are) pay attention to Kimmi and her musings on editing.

Me, I have three editing tips to pass along from back in the days when my vision was somewhere between 'hard of seeing and hardly seeing at all. In no particular order:

1. Either you or some other poor sucker should read your story OUT LOUD. If that's more than you can handle, rig up some sort of a text to speech feature in your word processor.

2 & 3. Increase your story's font size and possibly the font type. then read, once again, your words of wit an wisdom, it'll make what your scanning look much different which helps spotting mistakes. -- Oh, yeah, don't forget to return your story to it's original size and shape before submitting. I'm told those mods can get feisty.

Sarah, you and Seeker ready for refill on those 'Tailgaters'? Anybody else out there need something wet and satisfying?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Buz, he wrote: Saturdays are for ice cold beer, and Kentucky bourbons.

Me, I noted: Based on rumors of your past performances, so are the other six days of the week. But that's just rumor(s) you understand. ;)

Her Royal Spriteness proclaimed: ...we frown on shooting your sex partner in the middle of... whatever it is they're doing.

Me, I huffed: Spoil sport. sad

Anybody bring in any sort of goodies? Kinda wanted to sit out on the balmy back porch/beer garden before the predicted high temp of 95f (35c) takes over.

Any body out there in need of a drink or two?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and welcome to the dirtiest, den of depravity in all of Lushland. Well, somebody or something had to be first.

Scott Two, how do you do? Always a goodness when you show up. Let me get the coffee cranking (up and at 'em, Big Bertha) and get the tea kettle kettling then grab one or the other and come join Coma and Tose and me in a debate over where baseball should move the All-Star game and/or where they actually will.

Anybody else come dragging up in need of a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all. James, your efforts are much appreciated. (more to come after the coffee has been checked out)

Baseball-wise, yesterday was not a good one for your beloved blind barkeep. The Yankees lost to Toronto in extra innings while my hometown club, the Diamondbacks came up short to the Padres. Meanwhile, My LSU Tigers lost to visiting Vanderbilt, 13-1 That's bad enough, but today's starting Vandy pitcher is supposed to be even better. (sigh)

Don't fret over the small crowd, James. Between the opening of major league baseball, both the men's and women's Final Four in college basketball and this being the Easter weekend. a lot of Rumplators will be otherwise occupied.

Time to test the taste of today's version of coffee-ala-James. (sips, then swigs) You know, this stuff ain't half bad. Give it a try and be sure to let Big Berth's partner is coffee concoction know what you think.
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Canada rules!

Just so y'all know, on this, the opening day of major league baseball, the homeless Toronto Blue Jays traveled to the Big Apple and beast the NY Yankees 3-2 in extra innings.

Me, I'm gonna enter this here new Lush contest. Hell, somebodies gotta finish in last place. ;)

I've read two of the four 'strange but not true' stories by certain talented female-type Rumplators. Now it on to finish the dirty, if desirable, deed. ;)

Anybody want a drink? In case the drinks menu has slipped your addlepated brain, it is: Big Bertha's classic coffee, 100% wet hot water for tea and/or hot chocolate, belching beers, whining wines, and our always popular, fine lickers. So whadda ya wandering while wondering (or vice versa) wordsmiths wanna drink?

brain
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
James, you finally did some good around here. ;) I'd stumbled across those four stories you just mentioned and issued a mild WTF oath while wondering if this was part of some vast Write-wing female conspiracy. Thanks to your top-drawers investigation, I'm now sure my initial thought was correct -- but thanks anyway. smile

Think I'll drink to that. Anyone need a shot or two of the good stuff?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Hump Day greetings to all humpers and humpees. Of course it's not just Hump Day, but the eve of the first day of the major league baseball season and since I'm still having trouble posting links to music, maybe someone competent and capable might do dat dirty deed with the single greatest song about sex and baseball: Meatloaf's 'Paradise by the Dashboard Light'. .

TG, she wrote: I'm wondering what my son did to deserve such an amazing woman. But whatever it was, he better keep it going!!

Me, I replied: Ms Goddess, Shortly after my one and only wedding, my mother sent a letter of appreciation to my mother-in-law for the job she'd done raising my bride and then passed along her condolences for having 'lost' such a keeper. (And dats da truth)

Kimmi, anyone with good taste, common sense, and lots of money can build a hot tub/spa complex that's state of the art and a joy to see and use. Rumplations, a leader in Lushland's recycling movement, managed to repurpose the old dumpster someone 'found' one night behind a soon to be going out of business supermarket. Enjoy.

Curvy, many thanks for turning Big Bertha into a fount of caffeinated goodness.

James, keep up the good work and someday you might qualify for a mini-promotion to 'Major Pain-in-the Ass'. ;)

Believe it or not, that's all folks. Time to fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug to the brim, grab a doughnut or two and join Coma and Tose in in an in-depth discussion on whatever happened to all the cute, clueless 'Bow Head Babes' who once roamed the malls and campuses of this fair land. So whadda ya wann drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Rayne, don't know if you're familiar with, 'The pozo Seko Singers', a three-person folk-rock group based in Austin TX. He was with them prior to going solo. If you decide to check 'em out, be sure to listen to 'Time' even though he and the group's other guy member sing backup for the female lead singer.

James, imo, you owe Wanna a big hug, or drink, for her writer-savvy moderating. A mod of lesser skilled might have insisted on a 'no sex' tag or tried to talk you into adding some carnal carrying on. While the first might have been tolerable if a tad aggravating, the second one would have screwed up a first rate story. BTW, I've read but not voted or commented -- yet.

Slow day around here. Perfect for some serious drinking and/or a bit of that aforementioned carnal carrying on. I can help with the drinks. The rest is up to y'all.
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Rayne, your pappa and I share a liking for Don Williams. On my profile pages is my personal favorite, '

good Old Boys Like Me'

DS, you done got you a mess of troubles. Reminds me a bit of Ray Charles' sharecropper's lament, 'I'm Busted' -- "Cotton is down to a quarter a pound and I'm busted." ;)

Last night, I came across this Associated Press news flash and feel lead to share it with the vast Rumplations nation.
Seems there's a new contender for the : 'America's Dumbest Criminal, award. Read on a judge for yourself.


According to the AP: Prosecutors say that when officers arrested a Capitol riot suspect at his Dallas home, he was wearing a T-shirt with “I Was There, Washington D.C., January 6, 2021” emblazoned on it.

I'll drink to that. Anybody else want a drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Rayne, your pappa and I share a liking for Don Williams. On my profile pages is my personal favorite, '

good Old Boys Like Me'

DS, you done got you a mess of troubles. Reminds me a bit of Ray Charles' sharecropper's lament, 'I'm Busted' -- "Cotton is down to a quarter a pound and I'm busted'.
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this Titty Tuesday.

Mega-thanks to James and Kimmi for the coffee and doughnuts.

The Sun has just peeked over the desert. Think I'll take my coffee and doughnut(s) out to the back porch/beer garden and sit in a patch of sunshine like some old cur dog.

Anybody wanna drink before I make my escape?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Seeker, he wrote Congrats to all who just posted good news above. I am too tired and lazy to quote them all.

Me, I replied while sipping on a mug of Buz's champaign: I hereby second What Scott just said except, of course, for Ms Kimmi and all her good news.

W&W, Buz was the first recipient of Lush's esteemed 'AWESOME' award. On the other hand, he's a Georgia lawyer and graduate of UGA. Approach with caution.

Anybody else need a drink or two?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Hera, no yiddish? ;)

IMO-type suggestions: Use foreign words, accents or dialects sparingly, carefully, and, if possible, only in dialogue.
On the other hand, if you have a high non-classroom comfort level in a language or dialect and the skill of a Frank McCourt, go for it if you think it will make your story a better read. According to that font of all knowledge, Amazon Echo, there are over one million 'English' words. Odds are one of them will convey whatever needs conveying to your readers. .

As always, the one unbreakable rule for crafting commercial viable fiction is: DON'T BORE YOUR READERS. So a writer's challenge is to make sure any use of foreign languages or dialects enhances, not impedes, the reading experience.

May good luck and many bestsellers be with all of you.
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings on this misanthropic Moandy mourning. Coffee and pastries are mandatory.

Kimmi, my thoughts, prayers, sympathy, and empathy, along with big cyber HUGS are now in your in-box. It's not much and sure isn't enough, but like those of so many of your fellow Lush writers, its been sent with much love.

Time for more coffee, and maybe a goody or two. Anybody else need something of a fluid nature?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings to all fellow travelers on the great info highway.

James, he opined: I'll be probably die writing some kinky smut for this place and no one will want to admit that's what I was doing when I kicked off.

Me, I consoled him as follows: Well, the late William F. Buckley died while typing another one of his many columns. But, if I had my druthers, it'd be to go out like former US Vice President and NY Governor, Nelson Rockefeller, that is to say, while in the saddle with a comely research assistant. , .

Moving right along, I'm wondering if we should celebrate both April's Fool's Day and the opening of the MLB season this Thursday with, you know, a celebration? Just a thought.

Now that Gonzaga has cremated Creighton in the men's college basketball championship tourney, it's time to sip on a libation while wondering what exactly is a 'Gonzaga' an/or 'Creighton'. So who wants a libation to aidd with their cogitation?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
James, he asked: Does that help?

Me, I replied: In a metaphysical way, possibly, depending on how 'help' is defined.

While his explanation was 'interesting' it lacked a few details, such as: what kind of piano? Size-wise, there is, I seem to remember, a significant difference between, say, a Spinnet and a Grand. Was the piano up on the roof or in the rafters? In either case, the follow-up query is who got it up there and how was it accomplished? And in conclusion, for now, what happened to the debris that had once been a piano of some sort?

Inert minds wanna know.

Anybody want a drink -- maybe a double or, even better, a triple?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Larry McMurtry has died. May he rest in peace.

Instead of my taking up a lot of bandwidth recounting his Pulitzer and Oscar winning career, just wiki his name. While I enjoyed most of his work, one of his early novels, "Leaving Cheyanne" remains my favorite.

View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Two beers coming up, Susie. If Curvy doesn't show, go ahead and finish her's off. wouldn't want to waste any, would we? ;)

would someone, either sober or otherwise, with what passes for a good memory mind giving your beloved blind barkeep the down & dirty of the story that keeps popping up about a piano going one on one verses Sprite and, presumably losing? There's a free beer might be available for the least inaccurate retelling.

Anybody else want a drink or two?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
How y'all are?

Mega-congrats to TG for getting the 'Big O', especially with all the dreck she's had to deal with. While I have a hunch other Rumplators have achieved their own 'Big O', the only one I'm sure of is Larry (Green Man) who also had more to deal with than anyone should ever have to endure, sober or drunk.

Since the sun has set on most of Lushland and the rest of it is quickly getting darker, it is, imo, time to begin our unofficial, unauthorized, uninhibited, and totally unorganized TGIF celebrations. Those in favor are encouraged to order at least a double. So whadda ya malingering manuscript maulers wanna drink?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
James, you sir, are a troublemaker -- or maybe just, trouble. Whatever the case your once and now new again rank is spot-on accurate. (shakes head in sorrow while filling two tall glasses with Boondoggle Bourbon with one hand while latching on to Tawny's tushy with the other.)

Anybody want a drink before Tawny and I go into the stock room and lock the door prior to beginning our Kama Sutra Yoga exercise.

(Grab those glasses, you sweet thang while I grab the bottle and your dainty derriere .)

Later, Rumplators.
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Wet_n_willing she wrote: James, don't pick on Rachel. She seems very sweet (and kinda sexy) to me.
Me, I read all that in a major 'Say what?' mode and now feel compelled to dispense the following bits of bartenderly wisdom:

James, remember that most of the bar's clientele dabble in writing FICTION.

Rayne, since you are new to fiction, let me bring to your attention something called, 'suspension of disbelief'.

And now it's back to some recreational drinking. Anybody want something, like maybe a double or triple?
View Post
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Greetings and a most active Hump Day to all Rumplators. Quick personal note: My family has scattered after a long weekend. Got to meet my two great-grandkids for the first time among other high points. Now I can go back from being affable old 'Grand-Ba' to my everyday role and dirty old man. ;)

Tonya, your post today was sort of a 'sweet and sour' deal. Sweet to have you doing your Voo-doo with Big Berthat and providing breakfast sustenance then getting the sour news about those damn headaches. All of Rumplations joins Michelle in wishing you relief. (note: I'm saying that cause if they don't, they ain't 'real' Rumplators. ;) )

Carl and Larry, sorry about the downfall of the Un. of Kansas men's basketball team in the NCAA tourney. The Jayhowks lost to USC by the third largest margin in school history. sad

And in conclusion, it's almost spooky how many first-rate stories are being posted.Just got a notice that Frank Lee has a new one up. Haven't read it or even recall the title but if it's written by Mr. Lee, it's a must read.
eta: Turns out its a love poem. Try this link which may or may not work.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-poems/-this-quiet-song-of-desire-.aspx

Now to fill my mug, grab some breakfast goodies and join Coma and Tose at the corner table to speculate on how someone got a piano up on the roof.

Anybody want a drink or two of anything on offer?
View Post