Quote by BornyHouseHusband
I would like the next photo to be of shaving a woman
Just for the record, remember the rules.... If you wanted to see shaving, then it needed to be in YOUR picture too...
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Sensei
2 days ago
Straight Male, 58
0 miles · California
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Quote by MrLosAngeles
It's a slippery slope to play at. Jus' sayin'.
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Make sure you have a safe word. Other than that, you know your GF much better than any of us will, so I'm sure you'll know what she likes and doesn't like. And who knows? You both might find that you have a mutual love of D/s. Stranger things have surely happened...
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Quote by SweetPenny
The bigger issue was getting it out! I was pulling on it for 10 minutes and finally had to enlist some outside assistance.
I wonder if maybe you're using one that's too long. There are two sphincters in the rectum. You have far more control over the outer one than the inner one. You may be inserting it past *both*, and your nervousness and discomfort is forcing the inner one closed. Try a shorter, "squatter" design and see if that doesn't work better.
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I'm not entirely sure "comfortable" should ever be the correct adjective for a butt plug. I'm not suggesting they're supposed to be painful, but inserting anything rectally is an unnatural act (that is not a value judgement, mind you. "Natural" is not always good - lightning, earthquakes and cobra venom are all natural, after all).
That said, there is probably a plug that is less uncomfortable for you than the present one. But you also might benefit from advice on inserting it. The best I can offer is that when it's going in, you should try, paradoxically, to bear down, like you're trying to "go." That, and as much as possible, relax. If you're nervous or dreading it, then it's going to be less comfortable.
That said, there is probably a plug that is less uncomfortable for you than the present one. But you also might benefit from advice on inserting it. The best I can offer is that when it's going in, you should try, paradoxically, to bear down, like you're trying to "go." That, and as much as possible, relax. If you're nervous or dreading it, then it's going to be less comfortable.
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I often wonder what posts like this are intended to elicit. It seems to me you're going to get n different responses with n different answers. BDSM can be grouped into broad categories, but everyone picks and chooses the bits of each kink to make up a lifestyle that fits them and their partner(s).
But I won't just pontificate without answering your question. I am a D/s dom in a monogamous relationship with my sub, who is also my wife. Our kink revolves mainly around control, with a healthy dose of spanking and a sprinkling of bondage.
But I won't just pontificate without answering your question. I am a D/s dom in a monogamous relationship with my sub, who is also my wife. Our kink revolves mainly around control, with a healthy dose of spanking and a sprinkling of bondage.
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Quote by SweetPenny
I missed this. Sorry for not responding sooner.
I did not use my safeword. I tend to avoid them as I feel they can really be a mood killer. The man whom I was with did realize that I was having a difficult time and he lightened up after that. It was his first time using a paddle so I think that was the problem.
I can't help but offer my opinion, at the risk of sticking my nose where it may not belong, but had I been the dom spanking you, and you had refused to get back into position, I might have assumed you were bratting and dragged you back into place and spanked you harder for your insolence. If things are going in the wrong direction, I would rather my girl use her safeword early rather than late so we can stop and regroup.
Because we play in scenes where words no longer have true face-value meaning, the safeword is the escape hatch into a space where words have literal meaning. "Please, sir, don't paddle me." will more likely *insure* she gets paddled along with getting a lecture about trying to top from the bottom. But "Mercy!" (her safeword) will allow me to talk with her and ascertain if she wishes to continue, and if so, how.
Don't think of a safeword as a mood killer. Rather, think of it as a pause button. It's a tool to avoid misunderstandings that are otherwise way, way too easy and have far too serious consequences given the nature of power exchange play.
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They don't really approve of linking to other sites here in the lush forums, but I will suggest that you consider joining FL if you haven't already. It is, so far as I can tell, the best Internet BDSM community around. I say that because its focus is NOT on matchmaking or anything of the sort. It's a way you can connect with your local BDSM community, and by doing that you stand the best chance of finding the dom you seek.
Anyone who doesn't recognize the site from those initials can PM me and I'll give you the full name.
Anyone who doesn't recognize the site from those initials can PM me and I'll give you the full name.
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Quote by SweetPenny
I've never been whipped, but I have been belted and paddled. I found the paddle to be much harsher than the belt. I remember rolling off his lap and sitting on the floor, protecting my bottom, and refusing to go back over his knee :-)
That raises some questions for me.
1. Did you refuse because he had gone past your limits and you were squicked?
2. If the answer to 1 is yes, did you have a safeword? Did you use it?
Consent is key to these kinds of activities. Both parties need to feel that they can perform these activities safely. The dom needs to trust that the sub continues to consent, perhaps in the face of behavior (crying, screaming, etc) that would ordinarily be counter-indicative. The dom can only rely on the fact that the sub has *not* called out the safeword, and can really only feel safe to proceed if he feels that the sub *would* call it out if they needed to. At the same time, the sub needs to feel safe to use the word. They must trust that if they use it, that the dom will take them out-of-scene (which includes clearing all restraints) and immediately offer after-care in a context without hierarchy, and further that there will be no future repercussions from using it (with the possible exception that there will be no repeat of whatever caused them to use the safeword to start with).
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Since I predominantly prefer to spank, I'll change "whip" into either "strap" or "cane." Whips I associate with targets other than the bottom.
I prefer sting to thud... welt to bruise... but that said, you can effect a proper punishment in far fewer strokes of a good hardwood paddle, if that's your aim.
I prefer sting to thud... welt to bruise... but that said, you can effect a proper punishment in far fewer strokes of a good hardwood paddle, if that's your aim.