Faye and Ethel are two old sisters, both of whom are virgins. One evening, Faye says to Ethel, "I don't want to die a virgin. I'm going out and I'm not coming home until I've been laid."
Ethel replies, "Well OK, but make sure you're home by 10 o’clock so I shouldn't worry about you."
10 o'clock comes and goes and there's no sign of Fay, then 11 o'clock and midnight. Finally, just after 1 o’clock in the morning, the front door opens and in walks Faye. She heads straight for the bathroom.
Ethel is worried so she knocks on the bathroom door and shouts, "Are you OK Faye?
No answer, so she opens the bathroom door and sees Faye sitting there with her panties around her ankles, legs spread wide apart and her head stuck between her legs looking in her pussy.
"What's the matter?" asks Ethel.
Faye replies, "It was ten inches long when it went in and only five inches when it came out. When I find the other half, Ethel, you too can have the time of your life."
The executive of a formative business had a business trip to attend in Japan. He got on his flight and landed at the airport. When he got in the cab at the airport to go to his hotel, he asked the driver, "Where can I find some action?"
The driver told him where to go and after setting his stuff in his hotel room, he headed off to the place the cab driver told him to go.
He found this very beautiful Japanese woman and she took him to her room and they began the deed.
He was so into it but she kept yelling, "Achi, Achi!"
He kept saying, "Yeah, it feels good baby."
Still, she kept yelling, "Achi, achi!"
And again, he said, "Yeah, feels great baby."
Well, they finish and he goes on his merry way back to his hotel.
The next day, the guy attends his meeting and then heads to the golf course to play a round of golf with other business leaders.
The first time he tees off, he hits a hole in one and immediately yells, "Achi, Achi!"
One of the other guys playing with him turns and says, "What do you mean, wrong hole?"
Yeah, after I graduated from high school when I was on my senior trip on a cruise to the Bahamas. I got in the elevator to go to my cabin to get some cigarettes and this young woman, I'd say she was 18 or 19, got on the elevator at the same time. We struck up a conversation and it just so happened her cabin was across from mine. I went in my cabin and she went hers, and I came out with a cigarette and she opened the door to hers and saw me. She asked if she could have one, I obliged and she asked me into her cabin and before I knew it, we were naked on her bottom bunk screwing like rabbits. There must have been something in those cigs!
"The Frayed Ends of Sanity" --Metallica
Do you think that will do any good?
As the good old Robin Williams has said, "God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to run one at a time."
I understand in other countries that women have to adhere to a certain policy or stand up to certain beliefs, but whatever happened to telling the truth? I mean, what is wrong with simply saying, "Hey, I love you, but I have to tell you, I am not a virgin." I didn't run away when I was dating my ex after she told me that she was not a virgin. I guess that is the difference in the U. S. and other countries.
"One Way or Another" --Blondie
How can it get any better?
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Stevie Ray Vaughan
Jimi Hendrix
Cream
Jim Croce
That is just to name a few.
Doesn't matter if those boners were photoshopped or not. Still funny! And who's to say they were not done well. All us guys come in several shapes and sizes!
It does not really matter to me. If she wants me to cum inside, I will. If she rather have it on her, I will ask where and cum there too. It's all a matter or preference. I see it like this, I am the one with her, she is the one with me. If I can please her in anyway possible, I am going to do it. So, inside or outside, I am going to do what she feels is right.
How about Ashton Kutcher? He may have been funny on "That 70s Show" but he, in my opinion, is not a very good big screen actor.
"More or Less" --Screaming Trees
Are you going to tie me up after?
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be." --Abraham H. Maslow
A boy was walking down the road when he noticed an old geezer with an unusually small head. The curious boy walked up to the geezer and said, "Hey mister! Why the heck is your head so small?"
The old man looked at the boy and replied, "Boy, if I wasn't so damn old, I'd give you a beating... but since you remind me of myself at your age, I will tell you."
The boy listened curiously as the geezer explained, "One day I was fishing on the pier when I got a huge bite... And, I said to myself, 'Holy shit! I've caught a whale!'"
"No kidding?" pried the boy. The geezer continued, "But, when I reeled it up, to my surprise, it was a gorgeous mermaid! Well, she looked at me in tremendous fright and said she'd grant me one wish if I let her free..."
"And?" interjected the boy. "Well, after some quick thought, I looked at her and said, 'How 'bout a little head?'"
Nudity has never bothered me either, but unfortunately, the guidelines we have in America are more strict than overseas. I had a friend that went to Europe years ago and he could not believe the difference. He said he was watching television, and the same commercials we have here, like the women in shampoo commercials in the shower or what not, while they are cut off here, they show everything over there.
Nudity is accepted more overseas. In America, we are governed by people who think nudity is more a "sex" thing than a "natural" thing. Like you said, we are all born nude, and little children would rather run naked. It's true. Seen that with my own eyes from family members who have children and been to the beach where the younger ones just take their suits off.
If it was not preached here that we should not show our body until we are ready to have sex, then it may be more accepted. But until our culture can differentiate between just plain nudity and sex, then nudity will never be accepted as an art form. Only as a sexual form.
Score: 35
What does your score mean?
Do you even have a nervous system? It doesn’t matter how loud the bang or creak is as you’re trying to nod off – you don’t even flinch. Even if you’ve just watched the scariest movie of all time, you know it’s just Hollywood at its best and that it’s over as soon as you turn it off. In other words, you’re as cool as a black cat when it comes to scary stuff – it takes a lot more than a haunted house or a dark, spooky night to make you jump. Although it would be really boring watching a horror movie with you, you’re definitely someone we’d want by our side when things go bump in the night!
Sex is so much better than masturbation in my opinion. I never get the "true" feeling when I masturbate that sex leaves me. I mean, I know nobody ever gets the same feeling of sex through masturbation anyway. However, I will say this, when sex is not an option with a partner, masturbating each other is a real turn on. That's when masturbation does seem like "real" sex to me!
Not sure if this was meant for the women or the men or both, but I would love to answer. When I orgasm, I don't say anything. I usually just grunt or sigh heavily as I ejaculate.
In the middle of center field of my former high school's baseball field at about 2:00AM in the morning on a warm summer night.
There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead an a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker.
About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collasped in front of the worried on-lookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I am a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
In a "Fast Car" - Tracy Chapman
But why didn't the bat just use his wings instead?
