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She
Over 90 days ago
Lesbian Female, 38
0 miles · Seattle
Forum
Marx Sister
I have a quickie occasionally - or quicker than usual at any rate. It almost feels like you're asking a question about public sex though. That is fun too, but I don't do it unless I'm in a setting like an outdoor concert or festival or party or something where it might actually be semiappropriate.
Marx Sister
Quote by Sirene_Jaune
"As for the original post, I used to not be vanilla but I gained weight and all those dirty BDSM fetishes just vanished. Not feeling sexy when I was 227 lbs."
Fascinating. Do you know why that is? I'm not judging by the way, just curious.
Sometimes when I am not finding myself attractive I can wind up not feeling sexy at all, but sometimes I just want to fuck everyone who's available to remind myself that I am.
Marx Sister
This is absolutist crap, as far as I'm concerned. Not to overreact to it or anything. 
What I mean though, is it is phrased with too much certainty. All vagina's are different, and require different stimulation and care in order to be properly/adequately/well/excellently pleasured. Some women won't be able to orgasm every time they have sex (a lot of men too, in my experience), but it doesn't mean that sex was a failure. Many women will never have orgasms from being fucked, or it can be quite rare. Sometimes being fucked is the surest way to an orgasm.
With all that in mind, oral sex is good. The message to take away here is that oral sex is fun. It should be fun for the person performing it and the person receiving it. The message to ignore (at least as far as I am concerned) is that oral sex is the best or only way to make a woman cum. Get good at oral, but also get good with your fingers, learn how she likes to use toys, and then use some toys on her. Toys can be fun for everybody! They are not threatening. That is not directed at anyone in particular, just generally trying to remind people at large of the idea.
So, there it is. My somewhat overly aggressive stance on a fairly common topic. In summation, have the sex you want to have, just remember to care about your partner's pleasure and feelings while you're doing it, and make an effort. If you're completely incompatible that's obviously a whole other thing, but in general, that is my position.
What I mean though, is it is phrased with too much certainty. All vagina's are different, and require different stimulation and care in order to be properly/adequately/well/excellently pleasured. Some women won't be able to orgasm every time they have sex (a lot of men too, in my experience), but it doesn't mean that sex was a failure. Many women will never have orgasms from being fucked, or it can be quite rare. Sometimes being fucked is the surest way to an orgasm.
With all that in mind, oral sex is good. The message to take away here is that oral sex is fun. It should be fun for the person performing it and the person receiving it. The message to ignore (at least as far as I am concerned) is that oral sex is the best or only way to make a woman cum. Get good at oral, but also get good with your fingers, learn how she likes to use toys, and then use some toys on her. Toys can be fun for everybody! They are not threatening. That is not directed at anyone in particular, just generally trying to remind people at large of the idea.
So, there it is. My somewhat overly aggressive stance on a fairly common topic. In summation, have the sex you want to have, just remember to care about your partner's pleasure and feelings while you're doing it, and make an effort. If you're completely incompatible that's obviously a whole other thing, but in general, that is my position.
