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She
Over 90 days ago
Lesbian Female, 38
0 miles · Seattle
Forum
Marx Sister
So, my wife has other partners, and so do I. Wife sharing is a pretty specific subset of that, actually, and that's not quite where we're at. The term implies one party getting off because their partner is sleeping with someone else. It turns them on to think of or watch that, but without the humiliation which is intrinsic to cuckolding. Hotwifing is another similar practice, though that tends to delineate that only the one partner is sleeping with additional partners.
In the case of my wife and myself, we are polyamorous, which is a bit of a different thing, or at least the far end of the spectrum. It just means we have other meaningful relationships. As for example, I am in love with my girlfriend, and we all enjoy dating outside of those relationships. I would organize the spectrum as follows:
Cuckolding -> Hotwifing -> Wife Sharing -> Swinging -> Open Relationships -> Polyamory
In the case of my wife and myself, we are polyamorous, which is a bit of a different thing, or at least the far end of the spectrum. It just means we have other meaningful relationships. As for example, I am in love with my girlfriend, and we all enjoy dating outside of those relationships. I would organize the spectrum as follows:
Cuckolding -> Hotwifing -> Wife Sharing -> Swinging -> Open Relationships -> Polyamory
Marx Sister
Depending on where you live, a solid blend of OkCupid (and/or Tinder, if you find it useful) with a healthy dose of FetLife, you will not have much trouble. That is a better prospect if you are looking to connect with people in small groups and form relationships with them (friendships or otherwise) in addition to whatever sexual escapades you get up to. Now, with all that in mind, I can think of four or five cities in the U.S. where that will really work all that well. I just happen to live in one of them.
Marx Sister
Short answer: yes, of course. It's nice to be lusted after, it's not nice to wonder if that guy staring across the bus is going to try and grab your ass when you walk past him to the door.
Slightly longer answer: being ogled or objectified in one way or another is part of life. I'm not saying that it is the most acceptable behavior, but of course it happens. Sometimes it's enjoyable, but usually if I get caught accidentally staring at someone's ass (or boobs, or bulging crotch, etc.) first - though I try not to do so overtly. I like being considered beautiful, and I don't even mind being objectified, as long as it's nicely, and whomever is doing so realizes that humans are actually more than that object. I don't like being reduced to the attractiveness of my parts, though. It's a fine line, but for those wondering if they are jerks or not, the answer is probably not. Don't be creepy when you stare, it makes people uncomfortable.
Slightly longer answer: being ogled or objectified in one way or another is part of life. I'm not saying that it is the most acceptable behavior, but of course it happens. Sometimes it's enjoyable, but usually if I get caught accidentally staring at someone's ass (or boobs, or bulging crotch, etc.) first - though I try not to do so overtly. I like being considered beautiful, and I don't even mind being objectified, as long as it's nicely, and whomever is doing so realizes that humans are actually more than that object. I don't like being reduced to the attractiveness of my parts, though. It's a fine line, but for those wondering if they are jerks or not, the answer is probably not. Don't be creepy when you stare, it makes people uncomfortable.
Marx Sister
Being afraid of hurting someone can be a powerful motivator. Your husband obviously cares about you a great deal, and that can instill that very fear. With that in mind, it is possible to get past it. I suggest starting with small things. He may well be very dominant, but concerned about his own strength, or lack of control regarding that strength.
It is worth thinking about the possibility that he is concerned about his ability to hold back, and that is something to talk about before getting too intense. Assuming he is good there, just work up to the level of intensity you both want to be at right now. For example, if you wanted to get into flogging, start with a good spanking. If you wanted to get into breath play (BE CAREFUL), start with a hand against your throat that is not applying pressure. You get the idea, I'm sure. Also, always do research about your kinks, if there's ever a safety concern. You'll get there, and going gradually you'll do so with far less stress and confusion.
If he is worried about how well he can restrain himself, that just needs to be monitored carefully. In my experience, it's rarely an issue in a relationship where two (or more) people know each other sexually. Nevertheless, if he is concerned, just go slow. If there is an incident, talk about it, and depending on severity, maybe slow down or stop an activity for a while.
I hope that helps a little. It's a complex question, and I could go on ad infinitum, so I'm leaving it here.
It is worth thinking about the possibility that he is concerned about his ability to hold back, and that is something to talk about before getting too intense. Assuming he is good there, just work up to the level of intensity you both want to be at right now. For example, if you wanted to get into flogging, start with a good spanking. If you wanted to get into breath play (BE CAREFUL), start with a hand against your throat that is not applying pressure. You get the idea, I'm sure. Also, always do research about your kinks, if there's ever a safety concern. You'll get there, and going gradually you'll do so with far less stress and confusion.
If he is worried about how well he can restrain himself, that just needs to be monitored carefully. In my experience, it's rarely an issue in a relationship where two (or more) people know each other sexually. Nevertheless, if he is concerned, just go slow. If there is an incident, talk about it, and depending on severity, maybe slow down or stop an activity for a while.
I hope that helps a little. It's a complex question, and I could go on ad infinitum, so I'm leaving it here.
Marx Sister
No. I have been cheated on, and it doesn't feel great. That said, it's not impossible to get over.
In my case, the scope of cheating is much more limited than it is for many, but there is still cheating amongst poly couples. Not adhering to whatever guidelines have been laid out between you and your primary partner or you and your partners in general is typically considered cheating within the poly community. My relationship in particular has very little risk of that, due to our only agreement being practice safe sex. Otherwise we practice noninterference in terms of our romantic lives. This is not always the case though, and there are many ways to be poly - none of them wrong.
I realize this comment could seem like it is based in a certain amount of social obscurity, but I wanted to offer another perspective for those who may not have thought about it all that much.
In my case, the scope of cheating is much more limited than it is for many, but there is still cheating amongst poly couples. Not adhering to whatever guidelines have been laid out between you and your primary partner or you and your partners in general is typically considered cheating within the poly community. My relationship in particular has very little risk of that, due to our only agreement being practice safe sex. Otherwise we practice noninterference in terms of our romantic lives. This is not always the case though, and there are many ways to be poly - none of them wrong.
I realize this comment could seem like it is based in a certain amount of social obscurity, but I wanted to offer another perspective for those who may not have thought about it all that much.
Marx Sister
Quote by ShamelessFlirt
That's the problem. It is completely in my hands.
That's funny.
As for me, I'm sure there are many weeks where I would have sex everyday. In fact, there are. That said, I also go a few days without sometimes, but on the days I have sex, it is usually several times - particularly when it's been a few days.
Marx Sister
I am shared regularly. My wife has several boyfriends, and I have a girlfriend with whom I'm madly in love and who lives with us about half time. Share, be shared, whatever. It's enjoyable to have more than one partner. It's enjoyable to be with the people you love while continuing to seek all the humans and things about them that fulfill you.
Marx Sister
Just use adequate birth control, and you should most likely be fine. I use numerous types of birth control with all of my partners. That said, if you are uncomfortable with the notion, you should think a little harder about why that is, and if you are really excited about this idea.
I have been poly for some time - which, yes, is very different from swinging - and I have come to the conclusion that statistically speaking, as long as you're careful, there is very little risk of pregnancy. STI transmission is much more likely, though still very rare if you're using barrier protection (correctly). As for your interest in sex outside your marriage, that's a key component to everybody's enjoyment. I hope this helps some.
I have been poly for some time - which, yes, is very different from swinging - and I have come to the conclusion that statistically speaking, as long as you're careful, there is very little risk of pregnancy. STI transmission is much more likely, though still very rare if you're using barrier protection (correctly). As for your interest in sex outside your marriage, that's a key component to everybody's enjoyment. I hope this helps some.
