Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
Shylass
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female
United Kingdom
Forum
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by NinaK
It feels very impertinent to choose this as my first post but it looks like too much fun to resist.
I'm really trying to see you side, Mr Hugecock (giggles).
I get some of it: I was once a sex-crazed teenager going out with a would-be poet (he did and does get published, non-sex stuff, about nature and ravens, I'm pretty sure he's still human). He was 19 and I was his official girlfriend so I thought there was some sex on the cards. He rebuffed all my less than subtle advances. It's still a trauma.
I'll ignore how you attack intellectual snobbery while dishing it out, other people have done that.
But you make this big distinction between the wonderful, sophisticated world of everything but and then treat sex like something icky and horrible. Not an uncommon condition but still. It's as if you are ashamed you want it. Only in school holidays, no, it's too dirty, oh, I feel guilty, oh no, but I want it... You feel angry and guilty that you want to go to a dingy little chat room to do an icky cyber. So what! There's nothing wrong with that.
Make friends with your little Mr Hugecock! Don't treat him like an embarrassing cousin. Tell him he's alright, that you're happy that he feels alive.
How about that?
Welcome to Lush!
I like your first post. 
Sadly, though, half term is over, and we must wait for the Easter holidays to see if Mr. Big Willy would like to respond.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Magical_felix
He knew he wasn't getting anything off you. Too hard to cyber get.
Actually, I've been banned from cyber sex on Lush. Nicola kept getting demands for replacement computers after my Sexy Skills rendered my cyber partners' hardware, software. Their equipment exploded and went into complete meltdown. I'm an unreal writer, you see.
Gingerbread Lover
Blimey, is this still going? 
I actually answered about the culture thingy, but it got completely ignored. Maybe if somebody wanted to know other members's views on it, they could respond to the answers they wanted, ignore the answers they don't, and get the thread on the subject they preferred.
But if they prefer to let others toy with them about the things they didn't want to talk about, then play on, McDuff.
I actually answered about the culture thingy, but it got completely ignored. Maybe if somebody wanted to know other members's views on it, they could respond to the answers they wanted, ignore the answers they don't, and get the thread on the subject they preferred.
But if they prefer to let others toy with them about the things they didn't want to talk about, then play on, McDuff.
Gingerbread Lover
Thank you for your replies, both here and in PMs. You're lovely. 
I understand what you're saying.
I never set out to fancy the guys, it developed over time from being just mates. I never see anybody as initial romantic material, really. History has always told me that I'm the Friend. In all three cases, I never said anything or dared hope anything until they said something. That's why I don't understand why they bothered. I was happy to be their friend, and then they didn't even want that.
I know that I'm a mess, and I need constant reassurance, even from just my platonic friends. I'm aware of my failings, and that if I were to enter into a relationship, I would be too much work for anybody right now. I always thought relationships should be equal, even if sometimes one partner has to shoulder more than the other for a while.
Maybe that's the problem. I can't see things the way you do. Challenge is good, but when does challenge stop being healthy, and become just daft mind games? Why does being in a relationship mean we can't be available or helpful to the other? Or is that just your preference? I understand teasing, and stuff. But to make somebody chase after me properly is just not my nature. When I hide, I do it because I need to hide, not because I want a lad to run after me. Just as well we don't fancy each other, then, innit.
Quote by Magical_felix
I'm not trying to be mean okay.
I don't think it's about being too understanding. It's about being too available. There is thing inside humans that makes us naturally bored with things that are too easy or not a challenge. It's more satisfying to make a 3 pointer than a layup. I think this is inherent in every human and it is there with EVERYTHING we do. We like to be challenged. Something about girls that are too clingy, available, helpful etc. pushes me away for some reason. It's just a reaction I can't help.
I understand what you're saying.
I never set out to fancy the guys, it developed over time from being just mates. I never see anybody as initial romantic material, really. History has always told me that I'm the Friend. In all three cases, I never said anything or dared hope anything until they said something. That's why I don't understand why they bothered. I was happy to be their friend, and then they didn't even want that.
I know that I'm a mess, and I need constant reassurance, even from just my platonic friends. I'm aware of my failings, and that if I were to enter into a relationship, I would be too much work for anybody right now. I always thought relationships should be equal, even if sometimes one partner has to shoulder more than the other for a while.
Maybe that's the problem. I can't see things the way you do. Challenge is good, but when does challenge stop being healthy, and become just daft mind games? Why does being in a relationship mean we can't be available or helpful to the other? Or is that just your preference? I understand teasing, and stuff. But to make somebody chase after me properly is just not my nature. When I hide, I do it because I need to hide, not because I want a lad to run after me. Just as well we don't fancy each other, then, innit.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Hugecock69
Go into the chatrooms, check it out, very, very, very limited amount of women there. I don't care about cybering with the amazing writers that have been responding in this room, again i wouldn't cyber with them anyway
Out of interest, why don't you start a chatroom of your own, with a specific description and possible takers, rather than hanging out here with people you don't want to cyber with?
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Nikki703
Why is anyone humoring this guy? Its is so obvious he is just trying to stir things up
Quite often, I like to see if a person has just come across as being a wanker (not in the fun way), or if they actually are one. But I writed too much for him to process, obviously.
This has been fun. It's been a long day, and I've been proper cheered up by this.
It's lovely to see people owning their word-stringing, and being rightly proud of it, even if the odd one or two don't agree. 
Gingerbread Lover
Here's my take on this thread (for now):
Everybody joins a site for different reasons. Some are similar reasons, but since we are all individuals, so the reasons and details vary. There are trends and certain groups of people/attitudes that increase or decrease at different times for different reasons.
For instance, there has been a rise of know-it-all, aggressive, insulting behaviour recently. But there is also a rise in sweet, quieter folk, or those secure enough in themselves not to bother responding to people who need to get out more.
The site is growing every single day. Therefore, trends and groups will change more dramatically, since they are more noticeable.
Hardcock69, your attitude in this thread says to me that perhaps you are struggling to find people to cyber with because of your attitude and/or approach. I might be wrong, but that's what I see. Maybe you are right, and the stories upon which Lush is based have crossed over the boundaries into the forums more than they did at other times. Were you here in the very beginning? Perhaps the past Lush you speak of was never that shape in the beginning. I am more than willing to bet it wasn't.
I like to string words together. I use them to explore my own feelings about sex. I do the same on another site to explore my feelings about an illness I have, and my self-esteem, and how others feel about themselves. Some of my sentence groups have sex stuff in them, and others don't. If I write about fairies, am I a writer? Or not, because they aren't real, and I haven't been paid for the story? If I write about depression and how it makes me feel, or try to explain it for those who don't have it, am I a writer, or just a wannabe doctor/psychiatrist?
I write my sentences to explore things, or escape from the real world for a bit. And I share them, because a few people like to read them. Sometimes they cry, so they tell me. Sometimes they wank. Sometimes they feel anger, and sometimes they laugh. To affect another's emotions through my word sentences, and even their physical body, is usually unintentional from my point of view. But if somebody identifies with what I have shared, or feels challenged positively, or, best of all, they spent a few minutes feeling happier because of me, then what I shared becomes a joy to me.
I don't care if you don't think I am a real writer, just because I am learning what turns of phrase can make a willy hard, or a vagina get all wet. To be honest, I feel very uncomfortable thinking about those things. But I am learning about other people, and they read my sentences, and many people send me messages about how reading my words has been a good experience for them. It isn't just about the sex stories, but how we view the world. or deal with how others treat us.
I don't want to cyber with you, because, in all honesty, I find your postings to be mean and aggressive. You do actually scare me a little bit, as well as make me want to flip you the V. I find talking about personal sexual things very difficult, and it's none of your business why that is. I don't want to string words together for you, and only you, to tug your appendages over. I don't know you, and I don't like what I have seen. Maybe others feel that way too. Maybe you need to think about how you approach people. read a story, send the author a message. Try a different time of day. Surf profiles, send a kind message to somebody who put up their pictures. Try being nicer than you have appeared in this thread.
I am happy helping other people who string words together do that more coherently, or giving them a giggle. I am happy learning about sex and sexuality through words, whether it is in the forums, or through the stories that I edit, reject, or verify. You come here for different reasons to me, and that's fine. But you don't need to be rude about it, because it makes you look like a big tosser (not in the fun way).
My stories contain a range of things, all of which I am learning about by being here. Whether you think my sentences are erotic or not doesn't matter. A few other people think they are, and if they like them, and I continue to enjoy producing them, then I shall always be happier than you. I found a home in Lush, and even when I need to take a break from it (frequently), I am still aware of the value it has for me. The problem when it no longer meets my needs is not Lush, or the other people, really. It's my attitude and state of mind. I have a break, and then I return, refreshed and calm. Perhaps you could try this, whether you keep the same name or not. You can always deactivate your account for a bit.
Whatever you choose to do, I think cyber sex might be off the cards for you here, at least for a little while.
EDIT: P.S. My Gold membership was gifted to me by a friend. Am I up myself because of that?
Everybody joins a site for different reasons. Some are similar reasons, but since we are all individuals, so the reasons and details vary. There are trends and certain groups of people/attitudes that increase or decrease at different times for different reasons.For instance, there has been a rise of know-it-all, aggressive, insulting behaviour recently. But there is also a rise in sweet, quieter folk, or those secure enough in themselves not to bother responding to people who need to get out more.
The site is growing every single day. Therefore, trends and groups will change more dramatically, since they are more noticeable.
Hardcock69, your attitude in this thread says to me that perhaps you are struggling to find people to cyber with because of your attitude and/or approach. I might be wrong, but that's what I see. Maybe you are right, and the stories upon which Lush is based have crossed over the boundaries into the forums more than they did at other times. Were you here in the very beginning? Perhaps the past Lush you speak of was never that shape in the beginning. I am more than willing to bet it wasn't. I like to string words together. I use them to explore my own feelings about sex. I do the same on another site to explore my feelings about an illness I have, and my self-esteem, and how others feel about themselves. Some of my sentence groups have sex stuff in them, and others don't. If I write about fairies, am I a writer? Or not, because they aren't real, and I haven't been paid for the story? If I write about depression and how it makes me feel, or try to explain it for those who don't have it, am I a writer, or just a wannabe doctor/psychiatrist? I write my sentences to explore things, or escape from the real world for a bit. And I share them, because a few people like to read them. Sometimes they cry, so they tell me. Sometimes they wank. Sometimes they feel anger, and sometimes they laugh. To affect another's emotions through my word sentences, and even their physical body, is usually unintentional from my point of view. But if somebody identifies with what I have shared, or feels challenged positively, or, best of all, they spent a few minutes feeling happier because of me, then what I shared becomes a joy to me. I don't care if you don't think I am a real writer, just because I am learning what turns of phrase can make a willy hard, or a vagina get all wet. To be honest, I feel very uncomfortable thinking about those things. But I am learning about other people, and they read my sentences, and many people send me messages about how reading my words has been a good experience for them. It isn't just about the sex stories, but how we view the world. or deal with how others treat us. I don't want to cyber with you, because, in all honesty, I find your postings to be mean and aggressive. You do actually scare me a little bit, as well as make me want to flip you the V. I find talking about personal sexual things very difficult, and it's none of your business why that is. I don't want to string words together for you, and only you, to tug your appendages over. I don't know you, and I don't like what I have seen. Maybe others feel that way too. Maybe you need to think about how you approach people. read a story, send the author a message. Try a different time of day. Surf profiles, send a kind message to somebody who put up their pictures. Try being nicer than you have appeared in this thread. I am happy helping other people who string words together do that more coherently, or giving them a giggle. I am happy learning about sex and sexuality through words, whether it is in the forums, or through the stories that I edit, reject, or verify. You come here for different reasons to me, and that's fine. But you don't need to be rude about it, because it makes you look like a big tosser (not in the fun way). My stories contain a range of things, all of which I am learning about by being here. Whether you think my sentences are erotic or not doesn't matter. A few other people think they are, and if they like them, and I continue to enjoy producing them, then I shall always be happier than you. I found a home in Lush, and even when I need to take a break from it (frequently), I am still aware of the value it has for me. The problem when it no longer meets my needs is not Lush, or the other people, really. It's my attitude and state of mind. I have a break, and then I return, refreshed and calm. Perhaps you could try this, whether you keep the same name or not. You can always deactivate your account for a bit. Whatever you choose to do, I think cyber sex might be off the cards for you here, at least for a little while.EDIT: P.S. My Gold membership was gifted to me by a friend. Am I up myself because of that?
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by JohnC
Yeah I think you misunderstood. LOL I was not talking about general questions, but this type was asked of the general forum members, when in fact the decision does not rest with us anyways.
I don't think I did, actually.
The general rule of thumb is that if there is a need, and enough demand, Nicola listens, and usually provides. It's her site, but she is gracious to allow us all a say, at least.
Edit: I see you edited. SOME views were stated. I thought the idea was a good one, but I didn't want to get into the "discussion", for want of a better word.
I'm not a lesbian, or bisexual, nor do I see why those who are gay or different to me should be treated any differently. But I do see that certain members feel marginalised, or unable to post for various reasons. This is not the first time this particular discussion has arisen. To me, that says there is a need.
I take me to my bed now, for I be knackered. Goodnight.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by JohnC
And there you have it. From the owner. So you will get your GLBT section. Discussion done, and without input from any members. I would suggest next time just contacting the forum owner directly and not involving the views of the general membership. I don't say this out of anger but pure logic. It will save a lot of grief from hurt feelings or differing of views.
Forgive me for being daft, but what, then, is the point of any forums for questions at all? Why not just have a massive Ask Nicola site?
Forum feedback and suggestions are for just that. Just because a thread got a bit bonkers, it doesn't negate the suggestion because of a few crossed wires and knicker twists. Just my opinion, obviously.
Gingerbread Lover
I'll understand if you don't want to read all this.
I've been thinking about this for a long time. Is it possible for a lass to be too understanding?
I don't like playing games, and toying with emotions. I prefer to be straight-talking and honest, although kindly and with respect. I've read here that many people like the chase. Numerous friends have said that we should leave the opposite sex wanting more. I just think that if you like somebody, and they like you, you should do things you like together, and be honest about it. And have some fun!
When I joined Lush, I was fresh out a barely-there relationship. We began to get very close very quickly after months of me supporting the lad through a break-up with his long-term partner. I realised I liked him, but I never said anything until he did first. Just a few days after that night, his ex appeared on the scene again, and he went back to her. I know he loved her very much, but he was beginning to move on. or so he said. I was obviously nothing much, since he stopped talking to me, pretty much.
Before him, I had a relationship of sorts with somebody who was in a broken marriage. He told me his situation, and I was prepare to wait for him when he asked me to. During that year of waiting, he asked me to have sex with him (I wasn't ready), and when I said no, he asked if he could take me up the bum instead. I know, my alarm bells went off, but I tried to be understanding.
He told me many fantasies of his, including some horrific imagery, some of which was legal, some of which wasn't. I tried my hardest to understand why he liked those things, or the idea of them, at least. I never judged him. I always listened to what he had to say, and if I ever struggled with things he said, I told him so, but never rebuked him for being honest.
As his personal life hit a downward spiral, he began to lean on me more and more. I was very ill with depression, but I tried my hardest to be there for him, to give the advice he asked for, to send him little care packages (which he asked for), and not say the things I knew would hurt him. I always found a nice way to give him the truth he was asking of me. Eventually, things came to a head (arf arf), and he decided to unleash some very hurtful words at me. Apparently, the only reason he was in any kind of friendship with me, was because nobody else would. He wanted me to "experience being loved".
And before him, there was a lad at college who spent weeks telling me his troubles, who asked me to be his girlfriend. We had spent so much time together (me listening, him whining, finding fun things to do that he enjoyed, and finding the brighter side of things where we could), and stupidly, I really liked him (despite how much his whining annoyed me). So I agreed. He suddenly confessed he quite liked my best friend, and told me he needed to go and confess it, so that he could get it out in the open and move on. He said he could then be with me freely. I didn't really understand (I still don't).
However, I agreed, and when he hadn't returned an hour later, I got suspicious and went to my friend's room. He was sat on the bed, and she was sat behind the desk. She acted awkwardly. and he couldn't get out of there fast enough. It turned out that he'd tried to snog her (even though she had a boyfriend), and he thought that by telling her he was going out with me, she would somehow be consumed with passion for him. She wasn't.
Whilst this is a long post, it's not nearly enough detail to make any assumptions about me, them, or the situations, but I want to know if it's my fault. Am I stupid for trying to understand people, and listen to what is important to them? I read things on here where I make snap judgements about people, and what turns them on, or what they are like. But I try my hardest to try and understand why they think like that. None of us are perfect, but is it my own downfall that I try to see where others are coming from?
So far, all it has done is lead to me getting both hurt and passed over for people who are "more attractive, sexier, better-looking, nicer" people than I am.
Should I really try and play cards that aren't mine, and try to be "sexy and alluring"? It's just not me. I'm not any of those things they say they are looking for. Do I care too much about other people? I know one of my faults is caring too much what others think about me, but is it a sex crime to want to please and listen to them, and desire that same respect back? Do I really have to play mind games to be found attractive? Maybe I am just the equivalent of the whiny "nice guys", but I just want to love and be loved with honesty and openness. Am I scuppering my own chances of that happiness by being so understanding?
Thank you in advance for honest replies.
I've been thinking about this for a long time. Is it possible for a lass to be too understanding?
I don't like playing games, and toying with emotions. I prefer to be straight-talking and honest, although kindly and with respect. I've read here that many people like the chase. Numerous friends have said that we should leave the opposite sex wanting more. I just think that if you like somebody, and they like you, you should do things you like together, and be honest about it. And have some fun!
When I joined Lush, I was fresh out a barely-there relationship. We began to get very close very quickly after months of me supporting the lad through a break-up with his long-term partner. I realised I liked him, but I never said anything until he did first. Just a few days after that night, his ex appeared on the scene again, and he went back to her. I know he loved her very much, but he was beginning to move on. or so he said. I was obviously nothing much, since he stopped talking to me, pretty much.
Before him, I had a relationship of sorts with somebody who was in a broken marriage. He told me his situation, and I was prepare to wait for him when he asked me to. During that year of waiting, he asked me to have sex with him (I wasn't ready), and when I said no, he asked if he could take me up the bum instead. I know, my alarm bells went off, but I tried to be understanding.
He told me many fantasies of his, including some horrific imagery, some of which was legal, some of which wasn't. I tried my hardest to understand why he liked those things, or the idea of them, at least. I never judged him. I always listened to what he had to say, and if I ever struggled with things he said, I told him so, but never rebuked him for being honest.
As his personal life hit a downward spiral, he began to lean on me more and more. I was very ill with depression, but I tried my hardest to be there for him, to give the advice he asked for, to send him little care packages (which he asked for), and not say the things I knew would hurt him. I always found a nice way to give him the truth he was asking of me. Eventually, things came to a head (arf arf), and he decided to unleash some very hurtful words at me. Apparently, the only reason he was in any kind of friendship with me, was because nobody else would. He wanted me to "experience being loved".
And before him, there was a lad at college who spent weeks telling me his troubles, who asked me to be his girlfriend. We had spent so much time together (me listening, him whining, finding fun things to do that he enjoyed, and finding the brighter side of things where we could), and stupidly, I really liked him (despite how much his whining annoyed me). So I agreed. He suddenly confessed he quite liked my best friend, and told me he needed to go and confess it, so that he could get it out in the open and move on. He said he could then be with me freely. I didn't really understand (I still don't).
However, I agreed, and when he hadn't returned an hour later, I got suspicious and went to my friend's room. He was sat on the bed, and she was sat behind the desk. She acted awkwardly. and he couldn't get out of there fast enough. It turned out that he'd tried to snog her (even though she had a boyfriend), and he thought that by telling her he was going out with me, she would somehow be consumed with passion for him. She wasn't.
Whilst this is a long post, it's not nearly enough detail to make any assumptions about me, them, or the situations, but I want to know if it's my fault. Am I stupid for trying to understand people, and listen to what is important to them? I read things on here where I make snap judgements about people, and what turns them on, or what they are like. But I try my hardest to try and understand why they think like that. None of us are perfect, but is it my own downfall that I try to see where others are coming from?
So far, all it has done is lead to me getting both hurt and passed over for people who are "more attractive, sexier, better-looking, nicer" people than I am.
Should I really try and play cards that aren't mine, and try to be "sexy and alluring"? It's just not me. I'm not any of those things they say they are looking for. Do I care too much about other people? I know one of my faults is caring too much what others think about me, but is it a sex crime to want to please and listen to them, and desire that same respect back? Do I really have to play mind games to be found attractive? Maybe I am just the equivalent of the whiny "nice guys", but I just want to love and be loved with honesty and openness. Am I scuppering my own chances of that happiness by being so understanding?
Thank you in advance for honest replies.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by JasonMarak
When you read a novel or a series, more specifically, a Lush size series, how much depth to characters becomes too much?
I mean, I am kinda torn right now, because I have this one secondary character who I iWhen you read a novel or a series, more specifically, a Lush size series, how much depth to characters becomes too much?
I mean, I am kinda torn right now, because I have this one secondary character who I imagined up with this wonderful and beautiful background, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to kill the story by suffocating it with other stories.
So, I suppose what I am asking here is, if I make my characters feel like flesh, regardless of their possible inclusion in sex scenes, how would you all feel about that?
If characters feel as if you know parts of their history that don't really progress the story, is that too much, or just the extra flair needed?
Questions? Thoughts? Belly rubs?
My view is that you won't know until you write it.
Different authors will handle different stories, characters, and situations differently. Just start writing, and see what happens. You can always do another story series, or just a shorter story if you find yourself going off at tangents from your main story.
Experiment! Have fun! See what happens. I never know what will happen in my stories, or what my characters are like until I write them. Other authors have everything meticulously planned.
Don't wait for us to direct you completely. Just go ahead and see where your imagination wants to take you. We can't see what's happening in your brain until you splash it out on the page for us. You won't know which elements of your characters fit the story you are writing, until you write them.
That's what I think.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by gav
This change will no longer prevent you from submitting your story.
A warning will be shown instead where you get the chance to continue even with spelling mistakes.
Oh gud im cummmmmming.....
I hope the new function will encourage all authors to take more care with their proofreading and editing.
Thanks, Gav.
Now, wipe it up. 
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by oldhound
Ms lass, I tried to be civil with her, and with the psychobabblista, and you read what happened. I did not, nor do I speak to women as I ranted here. I was polite and civil and attempt at humour. Now,well now is a different issue. I get told I project being the victim, that nothing is my fault, once by the woman who is the cause of my recent whining, pity the victim rants, then again by a mental health professional who laughed in my face and had to get proof I had lived through what I did, then she couldnt even ”help” me. you have suffered greatly, and in this arena you are far stronger than me, because now I just want to visit on them agony like they have done to me. Pity Im not able to ”live well” or get a hotter girl to get revenge. And none are worth going to jail for, si Ill just be the mean old man they made me.
If you are ranting, that's fine. Letting off steam is fine. But if we don't know you're doing that, it just means we judge and label what you show us, not neccessarily what you are. Can you blame the members here for that?!
As for them making you a mean old man, I disagree. That's a cop-out. Just admit you have let YOURSELF become that. That's fine. I am a bitter, inward-looking spinster racing towards forty. Yes, I have been affected by others and my health, but I still have control over what I do and say when my health allows it. And my health is no excuse for labelling others who would seek to be kind.
Choose to be a mean old man if you want. I still recommend getting some smiling cookies and nomming them.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by maskedman09
I walk into the house and this is how I find her on the bed. I know what she’s thinking. My natural reaction would be to rip my clothes off and jump her right there. No, not this time. I’m not as predictable as she might think.
I look at her naked body, so inviting, do delicious, so needy. I unbutton my shirt and slowly walk into the room. No rush. We’ll be playing it differently this time. She’s staring at me, a wide smirk on her face. I reply with a grin as I unzip my pants.
I’ve reached the bed and I can tell she wants me to touch her. I don’t. Instead I pull out my cock and start to stroke it. Slowly, while I look at her face. She’s watching it grow quickly and I can see her getting restless. Good.
I walk around the bed as my cock grows in my hand. I lightly touch her leg as I walk by. I can see from her squirming that she wants this to stop. That’s not what I have in mind. I sit on a chair by the wall, still wearing my open shirt and pants and stroke my now fully hard cock, staring at her.
I can do this all night long, lady. What’s your next move? I’m curious!
If I'm the female, I'd scream at you to get out of my house, whilst phoning the coppers to ask them to remove the stranger who is stroking his cock in my bedroom...
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by oldhound
Only one response, The Army did not screw me up! The guve and take of my issue is apparently the ease of handling getting shot at or handling bodies in exchange for complete lack of understanding the [evil ones lol. Any issue I have is me, not the service.
If you see all women as the enemy, is it any wonder they will react in the ways an enemy would? Fight, flight, pursue, destruct, hide, escape, etc.
I shared some very private things with you via PM. In no way was I your enemy in trying to meet you in your obvious misery, but with your statements regarding all females dotted all over the forum, the more rational, balanced part of my own mind tells me to stay away from you, and avoid you at all costs because of your sweeping judgemental, ignorant, and aggressive attitude. Is it any wonder other women might feel the same? I am willing to bet your hostility underlies every conversation you have with females in real life.
One would hope that you are very different in real life compared with how you come across on the forums. But, quite frankly, I would be very unlikey to risk it, judging by the words that seem to flow so easily about me because my gender happens to be your "enemy".
If I lived by the attitude you seem to, I would have hated men AND women all my life. I've been hurt very much too, more than anybody here knows. But I have not let the crippling fear and worry of being hurt more stop me from giving complete strangers the benefit of the doubt.
Yes, I have been hurt horribly, called terrible things, been accused of things I never did, ignored for what I did do, just like many, if not most of the people here.
But at least I do not judge others the way that many of them have judged me. I like to think I have some redemption for my existence, even if it IS crap.
As long as you see women as the enemy, so shall they be, for you make us that by viewing us as such.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by oldhound
I had unintentionally but thoroughly, hijacked a legitimate thread, selfishly overiding another persons real question with my freakish issues. To those who took the time and effort to provide input, your effort is greatly appreciated. Id like to apologize to all who read the posts I made, as they made little sense, were out of orser and context and sounded more than massively ”whiny”.
Here is the synopsis if my issue, it will be extensive, so if it bores you, feel free to disregard and move on. Im 45 years old, retiring from the US Army after 23 years of service as an MP. My issue is that my life completely sucks. I have been married twice and divorced twice. First wife left because ”I was gone too much”, (this was before the war), she left me for a Co worker of hers ten years my senior and 50 pounds overweight. Second wife basically tricked me into marriage. How you ask, I have ptsd, from an incident before I joined, makes me very overprotective of women. She played on that so I ignored lies that popped up, manipulation, etc. Did I love either woman, the first, yes, the second, no. Now before marriage or in between, I meet ladies and fall hard for them. But I am always tossed aside for the cool guys, the better looking, charming suave types Id love to bury a ka bar in. since I started dating, age 14, there have been 33 if these ladies. Yes I remember all of them, they all did a very good job imprinting themselves on my memory. The latest, or last I keep wanting to say, was a much younger lass, in another unit. We knew each other from in processing, but I just looked out for her, single mom, pretty girl, bad men yada yada. A little over a year ago, I was on dating site and her picture came up as wanting to know about me. I contacted her as discreetly as possible, asking her about the site. She was on it, but that wasnt her profile. She easily figured out who I was, even said she preferred older men, and was attracted to me. Nothing physical happened, as she was having medical issues at the time that forbade sex...well with me anyway. One weekend she vanished off the radar and I freak. We had spoken the night prior and I thought I messed up, I do that a lot. I was also scared because of her condition. When she did answer two days later, she said she was with family, I didnt own her and I needed to calm down. Find out she was with one of the guys that worked for me! A little thug wannabe car guy, who KNEW I was talking to her, her pic was my background. I get told Im too needy and timing. So for the 33d time, I am nuked. I have no ego or self esteem left. I want to shred him, cant. He sees me as no threat, all the better for my ego. Oh why so many? I kept falling for that ”tgeres someone out there for you” line and Id go balls to the walls to show a girl I could make up for my looks with passion and intensity and romance. I tried to get this out in the other thread, but screwed it up and pissed a lot of nice people off. So any takers on the impossible loser express?
You have a PM.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by crazydiamond
Miss Kamasa is a seasoned member and i doubt commented without reading all posts. My prior posts have shit all to do with your selfish behaviour, we are commentig and responding to what you ask, you are the one deflecting every answer to suit your " pooor me" behaviour. That's CD signing off, you win hound.
I was going to post a video of Elvis Presley singing "Ain't Nothing But a Hound Dog", but I thought better of it.
I don't think the Relationship section will help, Kimasa. Everything has pretty much been offered, with little discussion other than flat rejections. I wish that were not the truth of it.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by oldhound
Actually, I have failed at the majority of tasks in my life. Laughter is no issue, as I said, Im used to it.
Do you know what? I regret having shown a vulnerable side to you and the whole of Lush in two threads now, only to see you whine, whinge and complain and bemoan the person that you are, whilst completely ignoring the fact that I tried to show you that you aren't alone. I was wrong. You are, because you want to be. I would have been your friend if you'd wanted one. But you prefer to be a martyr to your circumstances. So be it.
Here, have a couple of Gingas. They might be the only smiles you get. I'm done.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by oldhound
And, as far as Im concerned, your gender is just as dangerous to me as those who shot at me, just in a different way that requires different protection.
I don't know your past, but if you regard women as dangerous, that will have undercurrents in how you talk to them.
I know a few Heroes who have fought in the wars, and a few who still do. Two of those men, now retired, are effing "ugly" by the world's standard's of what pretty is. And yet, I think they are two of the sexiest men I know.
The both have horrific injuries, one to his head, the other to his legs. Both of them have issues from the past (and one in thepresent) with women.
They both struggle, not only with physical disability, but PTSD. Sometimes, they are "lost" to us. Usually, they come.back. There is always the fear they won't be able to.
Both of them respect me (and tease the hell out of me), and what makes them sexy is their thirst to find hope. They don't care how they find it, but their desire to see a dandelion grow from a manure pile makes them powerful, attractive, and wonderful friends.
It is their attitude. They say, "Fuck 'em, I'm getting on with it". They go through fearfully dark days, but they both live by a saying I have, even if they word it differently: "I'm waiting for a better day".
I might be lost in the blackest night, with memories rising up at me, but I know that morning has to.arrive at some.point. Maybe morning is only a grey sky and a lot of rain. But even the weeds can grow when the river rises, and the ducks can swim. I am neither weed nor duck, but I can point at them.and say, "Today is a better day, I can have roast duck and herbs for.dinner". And then I have to try to catch them.
Maybe I will.never succeed, but I can try. That is the attitude they have, that makes my Hero friends sexy. They will sit by my side and eat gingerbread men because when we can't smile, the cookies do it for us. Seriously. I am obsessed by gingerbread men because they SMILE. I often can't, but my cookies can.
Find something to.smile for you. Make some cookies. Bite their heads.off when you are.angry, and take fun pictures.of them when you want to be silly.
THAT is what will help you find some.peace: wait for your Better Day, and love those.tiny beams of sunshine when you can. If you wait for somebody else to define your Better Day, it won't happen. You must find it for yourself, and determine to acknowledge it.
I know how hard that is. Most days, I want to die and to have never been here. I apologise for.my own existence. But I am still here, and I have determined that I shall stay until my crappy piece of shit body gives up. And I shall do my best to love my Better Days and look forward to them during my darkest days.
Whether you choose to do the same or.not is up to you. A partner cannot do that for you, even if she comes along, and it turns out, she was not dangerous after all.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by oldhound
perceived slight? A perceived slight would be something like misunderstanding spontaneous laughter as you walked by in a bar, not an eruption of.laughter when you ask a lady to dance. Not when you simply offer two drunk ladies a ride home because they are drunk and ypu receive, ”sorry, not into geezers.rather get pulled.over” side note, she was only five years younger than me, she was the wife of a Soldier I had deployed with. Not when youre ordered to put a shirt on during swim pt because the females.are.complaining...out loud. Is that a perceived slight?
You are not the only one of whom people say horribly cruel things about appearance.
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst24740_Why-Do-People-Have-to-Be-So-Crap.aspx
I am 36, and have never had a relationship that wasn't simply to make the other person feel better about themselves until somebody they actually fancied came along.
I didn't have my first kiss until I was 32, and he later admitted he only did it to make me feel better about myself, because nobody else would, or could ever love me because of how I looked. Never mind the hours I spent listening to him, talking things through surrounding his many life issues, I was just too ugly to love, he said.
I waited a year for that man after he asked me to, whilst he sorted himself out. And when he did, he went into an abusive relationship with a very attractive woman who said the most awful things to him. The bitter side of me is glad, because he might feel some.of the pain he gave me.
The result of a lifetime of bullying and comments about my appearance, is that I cannot trust anybody. I hate porn because mostly they are beautiful, slim people that people love to look at. I cannot compare to that.
In my dayto day friendships, I try hard to be positive and friendly, but I fail miserably. I care about my friends, despite my inability to trust them. I have been let down too many times to be vulnerable any more. What am I good for? Listening when they have troubles, caring when they feel alone, and being shoved aside when I am not needed, by some.
I will.never know if the others genuinely care, because I am always expecting that slap to come again. That makes me bitter and hard, but I need SOME protection. The problem is finding balance.
And so, I would say to you, just as I do, please try to find the positives, because whilst they might get ripped away, at least you can hold your hand on what is.left of your heart, and know you tried.
My closest friends these days are online. I rarely see anybody in real life for fun. I met that guy I told you about on a fishing site, and I wish to god I never had. But I did, and at least I got a story for Lush out of it. Another lad I met the same way who hurt me got me another story out of that heartbreak too.
A small consolation, but it is something. If we are to be alone forever, then try to come to terms with it. That way, each tiny joy will be a mountain of pleasure (even if it's not the sexy kind). But others will read our character and attitude. Some will do it correctly, others will not. It is to be hoped that those who read it correctly, find something about us that they like.
At least we tried. And if we are destined to always be alone, perhaps.it will be said of us, "They were lovely", rather than, "They were bitter".
Sorry for waffling. Pain does that. See? Wallowing in self pity is long and boring, and no effing fun at all.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by hankyspanky
Does anyone know what the average amount of cum im mls,that a guy shoots for each cum?
The best way to find out is to send measuring cups to all the Lush guys who will participate, and then get them to spunk into them at their earliest convenience.
Then add the total amounts together, divide by the number of participants, and that's your answer.
You could make this even more interesting by getting them to do it over the course of a week, and see when they shoot their load the most. It might be watching porn, listening to porn, reading porn, looking in the mirror, over their missus (or mister), or having yo momma wank them off.
If they shoot their porridge gun off inside somebody, you will have to adjust for the average amount of pussy juice (or spit or anal lube). Oh, wait... Was it THAT average amount you wanted? Best ask the guys about that.
Hope that helps!