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Simonize
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 58
0 miles · Washington
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I have 6 kids its got to stop I have tried condoms, birth control pills rythem method everything. You have to help me."
Doctor says, "Well if you are truly done with kids I can perform a vasectomy and you should be good."
"Ok that sounds great lets do it." So the Doc schedules the procedure completes it and all it good till about 5 months later.
"DOC!! she pregnant again what the heck?!!"
The doctor perplexed as well checks his medical books and looks at the patient. "Well it says here that if a vasectomy fails we have a drastic option, which would be to removed one of your testicles, do you want to try that?"
The man says, "Doc I am going to have 7 kids yes I want to try it." So the procedure is performed a year goes by and the man comes back.
"Doc you aren't going to believe this I am going to have number 8!!!" The doctor looks at his medical books his journals and comes to the conclusion that only by removing the last testicle will this fix the problem. The man agrees, the procedure is done.
About a year later the man comes back in tears, "Doc number 9 is on the way I don't understand." The doctor is confused and just hoping he won't get sued at this point so starts looking at his journals, nothing else comes close so he gets on a medical website and asks his fellow physicians the question.
"If a patient has a vascetomy and both testicles removed yet still gets his wife pregnant what am I missing?"
The best response was:
"You performed the procedures on the wrong man!!!"
Doctor says, "Well if you are truly done with kids I can perform a vasectomy and you should be good."
"Ok that sounds great lets do it." So the Doc schedules the procedure completes it and all it good till about 5 months later.
"DOC!! she pregnant again what the heck?!!"
The doctor perplexed as well checks his medical books and looks at the patient. "Well it says here that if a vasectomy fails we have a drastic option, which would be to removed one of your testicles, do you want to try that?"
The man says, "Doc I am going to have 7 kids yes I want to try it." So the procedure is performed a year goes by and the man comes back.
"Doc you aren't going to believe this I am going to have number 8!!!" The doctor looks at his medical books his journals and comes to the conclusion that only by removing the last testicle will this fix the problem. The man agrees, the procedure is done.
About a year later the man comes back in tears, "Doc number 9 is on the way I don't understand." The doctor is confused and just hoping he won't get sued at this point so starts looking at his journals, nothing else comes close so he gets on a medical website and asks his fellow physicians the question.
"If a patient has a vascetomy and both testicles removed yet still gets his wife pregnant what am I missing?"
The best response was:
"You performed the procedures on the wrong man!!!"
Active Ink Slinger
FORD - Found on road dead, Fix or repair Daily, Subliminal Driver returns on foot
PINTO - Put in nickle to operate
DODGE - Dear old dad got excited
MAZDA - Makes a zebra damn appealing
LEGACY - Let em get another car yearly
MARINE - Muscles are required intelligence not essential
USMC - Uncle sam's misguided children
NAVY - Never again volenteer yourself
PINTO - Put in nickle to operate
DODGE - Dear old dad got excited
MAZDA - Makes a zebra damn appealing
LEGACY - Let em get another car yearly
MARINE - Muscles are required intelligence not essential
USMC - Uncle sam's misguided children
NAVY - Never again volenteer yourself
Active Ink Slinger
I like voting and comments and I am not against constructive comments. I hate it when I have 12 5's and someone breaks the streak with a 4 who wouldn't but am I losing any sleep, Nope!! I do with a higher percentage of people would vote I think less than 1% of the views vote so who knows, maybe peoples fingers are all messy and that makes it hard to vote (WEG).
Active Ink Slinger
As a guy who formerly suffered from extreme shyness I quickly realized that if I didn't overcome the shyness I would be very alone. So basically you need to put your foot in the water and test it. A girl won't get to know who you are if you don't put yourself out there to be known. We have all "heard" the stories about a girl chasing down the shy guy, "Cuz he's so darn cute!" But it never happens. Now granted being shy heading to a meat market bar is probably not your best bet, or it might be who knows. But in the end you have to #1 Be yourself, cuz check this out girls can tell if you are being fake. I know its hard to believe but its true. #2 and this is important you have to have the confidence in yourself. #3 be funny if you can, making a girl laugh is half the battle. #4 have a 14" penis ok not really but its FUNNY because most girls will run fast and far away from a 14" penis. LOL
Active Ink Slinger
A US Marine is on his way to Japan for his overseas deployment.
He gets snowed in at alaska adak air base.
So being a marine he heads out into the snow and finds a local bar off base.
He gets to drinking with some eskimos getting seriously drunk and asks
"So how can I become an eskimo?"
One of the Eskimo's says, "A real eskimo can kill a polar bear with his bare hands
then come home and fuck an eskimo woman all night long."
By now the blizzard is nearly a white out and the marine is completely drunk.
He stands up and says, "Alright I am gonna become an eshkimo."
And he heads out into the blizzard wearing his dress uniform.
Several hours go by and a base mp's come by looking for this marine since he hadn't got to his barracks.
The eskimos tell them the story about what was said, just as they were finishing up.
The door slams open in walks the marine, he is beat to hell, bleeding from multiple wounds.
His uniform is shredded barely still on his body, he walks up to the bar "WHISKEY".
Bartender quickly gets him his shot, he slams it down, turns around and says,
"Ok where is this eskimo bitch I need to kill!!!"
He gets snowed in at alaska adak air base.
So being a marine he heads out into the snow and finds a local bar off base.
He gets to drinking with some eskimos getting seriously drunk and asks
"So how can I become an eskimo?"
One of the Eskimo's says, "A real eskimo can kill a polar bear with his bare hands
then come home and fuck an eskimo woman all night long."
By now the blizzard is nearly a white out and the marine is completely drunk.
He stands up and says, "Alright I am gonna become an eshkimo."
And he heads out into the blizzard wearing his dress uniform.
Several hours go by and a base mp's come by looking for this marine since he hadn't got to his barracks.
The eskimos tell them the story about what was said, just as they were finishing up.
The door slams open in walks the marine, he is beat to hell, bleeding from multiple wounds.
His uniform is shredded barely still on his body, he walks up to the bar "WHISKEY".
Bartender quickly gets him his shot, he slams it down, turns around and says,
"Ok where is this eskimo bitch I need to kill!!!"