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Susan
Over 90 days ago
Female, 155
United States
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of
me life between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast
of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest
of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night
at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,
he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep,
and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'
me life between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast
of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest
of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night
at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,
he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep,
and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'
Active Ink Slinger
Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 71 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in
years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him
'Take
me, young man. Take me now!'
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' and ran off .
And that's when I shot him ............ the little bastard.
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 71 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in
years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him
'Take
me, young man. Take me now!'
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' and ran off .
And that's when I shot him ............ the little bastard.
