Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
WellMadeMale
1 day ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Kansas City
Forum
Constant Gardener
Abdicate your job responsibilities in the middle of a network-wide router upgrade.
Constant Gardener
In my late 20s, I had met and was romping with a nymphomaniac who was in her early 20s. Quite attractive, she was a live-in girlfriend of an Air Force reserve officer and they both lived off the AFB. He seemed to be gone a great deal of the time (This was pre-Gulf War One...by a few years).
I couldn't get to my residence, except to drive by their residence and usually Anne seemed to either be sun-bathing, or otherwise outside and able to see me drive by. I'd either get a phone call within 30 minutes or she'd appear at my front door within an hour.
Her visits always resulted in severe banging sessions. I really couldn't help myself, back then it was almost impossible to tell any really attractive woman - "Thanks for the offer of great sex, but I really should mow my yard instead, or I need to attend to domestic chores, I just don't have the time."
This went on for about 7 weeks that Spring, she even showed up when I would have friends over or when I had other women who had dropped by for some possible fucking.
The girl was driving off all other competition. Anne would just fuck the living hell out of me for 60-120 minutes, put on her clothes and drive back to her residence for the rest of the afternoon or night or day.
It was terrible ( lol ).
I finally asked this guy I knew who was between her and my age if he would like to take Anne off my hands. I told him what I just laid out to you above and he laughed at me and claimed he was definitely man enough and would succeed where I was a punk and had failed.
"Okay Terry, you'd be doing me a big favor, I'll call her now & invite her over and make the introductions...but you gotta take her to your place or back to her house...you ain't porking her here.
Oh, and we'll see how long it takes before Anne breaks you down too."
I caught up with Terry in town in the middle of July, about 7 weeks later...
"Hey BigShooter, you still seeing Anne on a daily basis?"
"Fuck, Jeff... I didn't even make it til the fourth of July, I pawned her off on AJ that afternoon, I think she's draining him dry now.
You were right, pardner. That chick is insatiable. I am so not-worthy." heheh
I never saw Alan Johnston after that summer. I think Anne might've fucked him til he evaporated.
Any of you guys ever scraped a nympho off on a buddy under similar circumstances (or for other reasons)?
Spill
I couldn't get to my residence, except to drive by their residence and usually Anne seemed to either be sun-bathing, or otherwise outside and able to see me drive by. I'd either get a phone call within 30 minutes or she'd appear at my front door within an hour.
Her visits always resulted in severe banging sessions. I really couldn't help myself, back then it was almost impossible to tell any really attractive woman - "Thanks for the offer of great sex, but I really should mow my yard instead, or I need to attend to domestic chores, I just don't have the time."
This went on for about 7 weeks that Spring, she even showed up when I would have friends over or when I had other women who had dropped by for some possible fucking.
The girl was driving off all other competition. Anne would just fuck the living hell out of me for 60-120 minutes, put on her clothes and drive back to her residence for the rest of the afternoon or night or day.
It was terrible ( lol ).
I finally asked this guy I knew who was between her and my age if he would like to take Anne off my hands. I told him what I just laid out to you above and he laughed at me and claimed he was definitely man enough and would succeed where I was a punk and had failed.
"Okay Terry, you'd be doing me a big favor, I'll call her now & invite her over and make the introductions...but you gotta take her to your place or back to her house...you ain't porking her here.
Oh, and we'll see how long it takes before Anne breaks you down too."
I caught up with Terry in town in the middle of July, about 7 weeks later...
"Hey BigShooter, you still seeing Anne on a daily basis?"
"Fuck, Jeff... I didn't even make it til the fourth of July, I pawned her off on AJ that afternoon, I think she's draining him dry now.
You were right, pardner. That chick is insatiable. I am so not-worthy." heheh
I never saw Alan Johnston after that summer. I think Anne might've fucked him til he evaporated.
Any of you guys ever scraped a nympho off on a buddy under similar circumstances (or for other reasons)?
Spill
Constant Gardener
Quote by yourmisterdark
I hope it isn't because you spit on her genitals..oops, that's a different forum thread. As long as it's not happening now, what's the beef? Parents have all sorts of reasons to hate ANYONE who's taking their baby away, isn't good enough for them, etc etc. And you can't get into a "do you love me more than your parents?" b.s. game, because that's just wrong, too. Avoid confrontation, prove your worth and sometimes the 'rents come around to see you're not so bad after all.
No beef - now, just plenty of booze the other night - and besides, dark fellow, perhaps it is happening to someone else who may read this thread?
Thanks for the cogent & sober reply, Auntie! It's about beer:30 again!
Constant Gardener
Harass your coworkers by watching porn on your work computer with the volume blasting bad muzak and worse dialogue.
Constant Gardener
Frown and roll your eyeballs, when asked any question.
"We're ordering pizza for everyone who volunteered to stay late and work tonight, what kind would you like?"
"Your TPS reports are due in 20 minutes, can I expect them then?"
"The CEO's administrative assistant claims you knocked her up when the condom broke during the Christmas Party, is there any truth to this statement?"
"HR would like to see you in Miss Rubedales office at 11:00 am sharp, can you be there?"
"We're ordering pizza for everyone who volunteered to stay late and work tonight, what kind would you like?"
"Your TPS reports are due in 20 minutes, can I expect them then?"
"The CEO's administrative assistant claims you knocked her up when the condom broke during the Christmas Party, is there any truth to this statement?"
"HR would like to see you in Miss Rubedales office at 11:00 am sharp, can you be there?"
Constant Gardener
Alright so this was the deal in 1978-1980... It's not happening now, but...
That woman was the very definition of Cold Fish... I dated her youngest daughter for almost 3 years and was never invited to a holiday or family dinner.
Hell, I was never invited inside the house...as in not through the fucking front door. I had their daughter home before the 11pm curfew, then before the midnight curfew...then (well she was at college the third year and there was no curfew - and by that time I didn't give a shit about the familial home...I wanted her room mate out of her dorm room on weekends).
So, Auntie...how do you deal with a parent who apparently doesn't like you, just because you aren't the guy she wants her daughter to be infatuated with?
ps...Me and the girl's father got along pretty well, but he didn't wear the pants in the family as he never invited me inside or out to his back deck either.
The mother even asked me on a phone call (around month 34 or so of us dating steadily)... "I hope you and Marilyn have never had..."
"No, Ma'am...your daughter and I have never......"
Yeah, I wasn't going to be a total asshole about the whole thing. "Your daughter and I invented about 7 new positions, Mrs Smith, you'd be a grandmother by now, except we both know you can't get pregnant by swallowing cum."
How do you deal with a parent who detests the very sight of you...while you're in love with their daughter (or son)?
That woman was the very definition of Cold Fish... I dated her youngest daughter for almost 3 years and was never invited to a holiday or family dinner.
Hell, I was never invited inside the house...as in not through the fucking front door. I had their daughter home before the 11pm curfew, then before the midnight curfew...then (well she was at college the third year and there was no curfew - and by that time I didn't give a shit about the familial home...I wanted her room mate out of her dorm room on weekends).
So, Auntie...how do you deal with a parent who apparently doesn't like you, just because you aren't the guy she wants her daughter to be infatuated with?
ps...Me and the girl's father got along pretty well, but he didn't wear the pants in the family as he never invited me inside or out to his back deck either.
The mother even asked me on a phone call (around month 34 or so of us dating steadily)... "I hope you and Marilyn have never had..."
"No, Ma'am...your daughter and I have never......"
Yeah, I wasn't going to be a total asshole about the whole thing. "Your daughter and I invented about 7 new positions, Mrs Smith, you'd be a grandmother by now, except we both know you can't get pregnant by swallowing cum."
How do you deal with a parent who detests the very sight of you...while you're in love with their daughter (or son)?
Constant Gardener
Quote by bronsonquella
What to Look for in a Hard Drive That You Are Purchasing?
When you are going to <a href="">buy laptop hard drive</a>, it is extremely important to look for one that is going to be fast and large enough to accommodate all of your files and data needs. It
<br>Yeah, it's just what I need, I'm about to have a new one
<br>I always use Dell Hard Disk Drives, what about you, guys?
<br>Gateway!!!lol
Clean up in aisle 666 - Where's a moderator when ya need one?
Constant Gardener
Shortest: 4'10" - 94 pounds
Tallest: 6'2" - 148 pounds
Most the women I've dated have been under 5'5" in height. I have no idea why. I'm a shade under 6'3".
I like girls with small hands...makes my dick look bigger.
Tallest: 6'2" - 148 pounds
Most the women I've dated have been under 5'5" in height. I have no idea why. I'm a shade under 6'3".
I like girls with small hands...makes my dick look bigger.
Constant Gardener
Yellow spotting on the front of your tighty-whities is - to successful sexual encounters... as curly short hairs in your potato soup is - to a premium restaurant review.
Constant Gardener
I've always felt that people (men & women) who seek out primarily virgins for sex partners have their own little predatory fetish which requires being fed.
They aren't so much the caring individual at all. They've objectified the virginity to the point where they could give a shit less about the person.
In my youth, I'd overhear conversations from guys my age and older, where they'd speak of 'bagging a virgin' or 'getting with that girl - she's a virgin!'
As if that is some sort of trophy.
I've always been fairly disgusted by this bullshit.
And an uncle or a 'caring' older mentor...just how are you actually 'helping' anyone out by actively shoving your nose where it really shouldn't be. That's borderline fucking creepy weird, man.
*Ooops, there goes my filter again.
They aren't so much the caring individual at all. They've objectified the virginity to the point where they could give a shit less about the person.
In my youth, I'd overhear conversations from guys my age and older, where they'd speak of 'bagging a virgin' or 'getting with that girl - she's a virgin!'
As if that is some sort of trophy.
I've always been fairly disgusted by this bullshit.
And an uncle or a 'caring' older mentor...just how are you actually 'helping' anyone out by actively shoving your nose where it really shouldn't be. That's borderline fucking creepy weird, man.
*Ooops, there goes my filter again.
Constant Gardener
Vivarin tablets required to stay awake enough, just to continue with the romance.
Constant Gardener
Best: I'm pretty even keel, most of the time.
Worst: There's a faulty filter between my brain and my keyboard (or vocal cords).
Worst: There's a faulty filter between my brain and my keyboard (or vocal cords).
Constant Gardener
We're on a date, doesn't matter if it is date number one or number twelve. Her cell phone is constantly buzzing, receiving texts or stock updates or phone calls.
Turn that fucking thing off or I'm walking, no explanation necessary. I'll toss a twenty down to pay for my beverage & tip. I'll have another story to tell later.
Turn that fucking thing off or I'm walking, no explanation necessary. I'll toss a twenty down to pay for my beverage & tip. I'll have another story to tell later.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Just4fun3
I actually agree with that. I am probably on the wrong site but just find that degrading.
I don't think you could possibly be on a more, right site. Opinions vary, however.
Constant Gardener
Your business is not welcomed here!
I'm guessing the guy was a real dick, about something.
I'm guessing the guy was a real dick, about something.
Constant Gardener
Teach me to bray
And we'll roll in the hay
Like a man reduced to a plonky
You can spin on my tail
I doubt you will fail
I heard you are hung like a donkey
Or I'll mewl and I'll purr
Only calling you Sir
Hoping my itch will be scratched
I'll lay curled at your feet
Collared and sweet
Chain, table leg, latched
[ Sideboob ]
And we'll roll in the hay
Like a man reduced to a plonky
You can spin on my tail
I doubt you will fail
I heard you are hung like a donkey
Or I'll mewl and I'll purr
Only calling you Sir
Hoping my itch will be scratched
I'll lay curled at your feet
Collared and sweet
Chain, table leg, latched
[ Sideboob ]
Constant Gardener
I had to go there... Mr. Ramsey and me could be drinking buds (if he'd have me). He's my hero.
Constant Gardener
Sounds like a job which would appeal to just a very few. You should be proud that you were handled with such loving kindness.
Can you imagine tweezing, electronically, a thousand hairs around anus and nutsack...of a former stranger?
What could happen, for instance if you should fart methane gas and the electric gun were zapping - at that instant? Would it not be a surprise beyond measure?
I'd have to tip the operator a bit to show thanks. Hopefully - you did!
Can you imagine tweezing, electronically, a thousand hairs around anus and nutsack...of a former stranger?
What could happen, for instance if you should fart methane gas and the electric gun were zapping - at that instant? Would it not be a surprise beyond measure?
I'd have to tip the operator a bit to show thanks. Hopefully - you did!
Constant Gardener
Quote by Paulfromma
I had all hair removed from my cock, my ball sack, trimmed the width of my pubic thatch, an inch or two around my nipples, my buttocks, my anal area and my perineum ( the area from the Gentiles to the anus ). .
You had the hair removed from your Gentiles? How did that go over with everyone?
Constant Gardener
Quote by Mari84
No clue. BDSM I don't do.
Let's play Boss. I'll be your hiring manager and play the part of lifelong Republican. You can be the liberal Democrat who believes that the world is your oyster.
Of course, since I will be the Republican...I will portray the cocksucker who is about to make you wish you were...
What was your safe word again?
Constant Gardener
Quote by CoopsRuthie
Are you aware of the clitoris? What are you doing to become more aware?
Can you draw us a picture?
Reminds me of the old joke...
"Do you know what your asshole was doing...when you were cumming?"
Constant Gardener
Wall of text....and, this shit never happened... Am I right?
Constant Gardener
Squirted drops of spew
All over your well worn shoe
Painting I love you
All over your well worn shoe
Painting I love you
