George Carlin passed away and Louis C.K. has stepped into his shoes admirably.
Accept no substitutes...those 2 guys attack(ed) everyone and everything and make you cringe and laugh simultaneously.
Constant Gardener
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
WellMadeMale
1 day ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Kansas City
Forum
Constant Gardener
Catholic girls are the 2nd best.
Republican leaning Catholic girls are the top best!
Republican leaning Catholic girls are the top best!
Constant Gardener
Quote by Dancing_Doll
With certain guys - getting emotionally attached.
I never woulda guessed!
Constant Gardener
Quote by BirdDog
would you fuck your sister-in-law?, how many have already?
A.) I'd probably have to detest either one of my brothers (or be apathetic towards them) and I'm neither towards either.
B.) I'd have to find their wives attractive, and I never have agreed with either brother when it comes to the women they've chosen to bed or parade around as their girlfriends or wives.
Extremely doubtful I'd be fucking any sister-in-law of mine. As a matter of fact, if any wife of either brother ever came on to me, I'd be a direct pipeline back to said brother to inform him that he is married to a creature who is seeking to really wound his soul.
just say'n...I'd be hard pressed to think of some action I could undertake which would be more diabolical than to backstab one of my brothers, in this particular fashion. Or cousins, or uncles or fuck... family.
Of course I know there are many here who find this to be the ultimate sexual prize and cherished goal.
Constant Gardener
Quote by pricklypear
haha..i was seriously surprised nobody said that or queef.
Hmmm... Queefing is rather satisfying to hear from my point of view.
All Hail the Mighty Queef!
Constant Gardener
I used to be deathly afraid that one of her children were going to get up in the middle of the night and decide he or she needed to sleep in bed with Mom that particular night.
That thought always cooled my engines.
That thought always cooled my engines.
Constant Gardener
Quote by trinket
You know, people like you really annoy me, and I'm not the only one. This is NOT a 'lonely hearts' site or a dating site. Sadly for you, a lot of girls here have probably just noted your name and blocked it. They've probably also gone and blocked you from contacting them on lush.This forum isn't for people like you to come and clog it up with an advertisement looking for someone to talk to while you pull your dick. It's an Erotic story site.
If you took the time to try and get to know a few people around here, you might have known that and possibly made a few friends that might like to talk about their fantasies sometime. Good luck with that now.
So I guess that you and I - Skyping sometime in the near future is probably a no-go at this point, eh? Aside from the 13 hour offset, I'd even be willing to fit you in around 7:30 am my time (or your time), give or take an hour - to better accommodate your needs. Cuz I'm friendly like that.
Constant Gardener
Alleviate your upset and gaseous digestive tract during oral sex.
Constant Gardener
Quote by DirtyMartini
That's funny...I had to look up the word "cersh"...apparently this is what you're looking for...
Centre for Excellence in Rural Sexual Health - CERSH
http://www.cersh.com.au/
That serch function works pretty good when correct speling is utilized, does it not, Alan?
Constant Gardener
This is fiendishly excellent! I could not have concocted a funnier scenario. Well, maybe I could - but it would take brain cycles I don't have to spare at the moment. Best thread on a slow Sunday!
Constant Gardener
Quote by BelleduJour
I find it ironic not to mention hypocritical that I'm being called 'judgmental' regarding my comment on this thread by two people who have been known to cast their own judgements in past threads.
I wasn't attacking or singling out any one person in particular but making a personal statement which, the last time I checked, I am entitled to do and shouldn't be chastised for it. Maybe I live by a different moral code than some people on here but if you've read any of my past postings, you will see that I am also a woman who believes in the saying 'to each their own'.
You want to cheat on your partner? Knock yourself out but I don't have to agree with it. Don't want an opinion that is not in favor of what you're doing? Then maybe posting it in the forums isn't very wise OR put a disclaimer that only those who are okay with cheating may respond. In either case, forgive me for expressing my opinion on a PUBLIC forum and especially for not celebrating infidelity.
Perhaps someone should consider policing the rest of the threads to ensure that no one else is ever offended again by opposing opinions and/or Lushies who appear to pass judgements. I suspect whoever that lucky person is, will be VERY busy.
And for the record, I have never been cheated on but have known many people and families who have been terribly hurt by it.
Now I've read everything
I thought my level of sarcasm was well established around here already. If not, I'll use you to reestablish such.I suppose I'm just imagining how you and JohnC carried on for nearly 3 months earlier this year, all over this forum? You weren't willingly cheating (even if only cyber-wise), with a fellow who was claiming all along that he was happily married to someone else?
The way you both were parading around here constantly mimicking each other was enough to make even me - gag on a near daily basis. And now that you've seen the light - you are suddenly elevated up on a pedestal of your own design, to call out all other sinners? Gimme a fucking break already.
Knock it off Belle, hypocrisy doesn't look all that appealing on you.
Constant Gardener
Quote by BelleduJourAgreed. Cheating or 'helping' someone cheat is pathetic, selfish not to mention cowardly.
Quote by ManinNewHampshire
Mere words cannot express how strongly I agree with you.
You are both wronger than wrong can be. Judgemental - you both have it covered...
Please quit attempting to whitewash this subject. Just because you have been cheated on - is no reason whatsoever to call names!
Constant Gardener
Men cheat, because it's the fault of their wife.
I remember this guy running for US President a few times in the past. Trying to become the GOP nominee.
I remember this guy running for US President a few times in the past. Trying to become the GOP nominee.
Constant Gardener
So, none of you playboys have ever seen a reason or an occasion to perform this maneuver before, eh? I must be surrounded by sexual Tyrannosaurs. 
Constant Gardener
Oh man, I'm already in deep shit 
with my lil babydoll, over me posing this question.
"Forgive me, baby-sweetie-kins, Daddy will make it all better, this weekend!"
with my lil babydoll, over me posing this question. "Forgive me, baby-sweetie-kins, Daddy will make it all better, this weekend!"
Constant Gardener
Quote by Courtneyxoxo
"Why is the Earth a sphere and not a shapeless lump of rock?"
As I understand it, the earth started of as a shapless lump of rock and over time the force of gravity forces it to compact, and as it does so it shifts around to make thew force equal on all of it, and the only way to do that is by becoming a sphere.
Nice pair of spheres you're sporting there, Courtney.
Constant Gardener
Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
I've accidentally shot cum in a lady's eye too. She said it burned terribly.
In the missionary position, I once shot cum up the length of our torsos and over her D cup breasts and into my own fucking eye! She thought it was quite funny.
The things we do for love...
Constant Gardener
Quote by Shamus
Depends on what kind of personality they have.
I have too much personality to comment with any degree of reality.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Sssnake
G.I.L.F.
BEASTIALITY
FOOD PLAY
MILITARY
Welcome to the radar, Sssnake!
Constant Gardener
Why do want to do this?
(I mean, if you do...I know that some women are into it while many others are not.)
If you do - do this, do you call all of your boyfriends Daddy, or just those of us much older (ten plus years) than you? Sell me on the concept, if you will.
(I mean, if you do...I know that some women are into it while many others are not.)
If you do - do this, do you call all of your boyfriends Daddy, or just those of us much older (ten plus years) than you? Sell me on the concept, if you will.
Constant Gardener
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
Simple really, spice it up. Come on dude, use your imagination. You're on a sex-based site. Clearly you know the sky's the limit when it comes to sex. Do something different. Different is almost always intriguing.
Make sex an adventure, not a chore.
Purchase her some new lingerie, in any size which isn't her own. That will put some adventure into your bedroom conversation and alleviate the boredom.
Constant Gardener
Excellent. I dunno why that thought has never occurred to me...listening to pre-recorded female orgasms while traipsing about in public!
Lately, I've been handing out small, tasteful & discreet flags to women I am interested in getting to know better, while meeting them on elevators. I am keying in on their perfume. Those with way too much, I ignore. Those with just a hint... capture my attention and earn a flag.
I understand it is primarily an Australian and Mexican thing, but I am hoping to import its prevalence to the States.
Lately, I've been handing out small, tasteful & discreet flags to women I am interested in getting to know better, while meeting them on elevators. I am keying in on their perfume. Those with way too much, I ignore. Those with just a hint... capture my attention and earn a flag.
I understand it is primarily an Australian and Mexican thing, but I am hoping to import its prevalence to the States.