Every once in awhile hubby wonders about the fact that he's not huge, and every single time I tell it has never, ever mattered to me. Why, exactly?
1. His voice, the man can practically make me come by just talking to me. Hearing him read some of these stories out loud is quite the treat!
2. His gentleness, he knows exactly how hard to stroke, every single damn time, he has never been rough with me, but always just right.
3. His lips, the man knows how to kiss and every single one, be it a serious tongue job or a quick peck on the lips, makes me feel like I am a goddess to him.
4. His lips and tongue, used together, I am a helpless puddle of orgasm.
5. His willingness to cuddle, before and after is also a powerful part of lovemaking. Sometimes I need lots of cuddling before because I'm wound up from a tough day, sometimes that extra attention after wipes the last bit of tension away.
Master all of those tricks, and size is not at all important. Show your lady that you're not just interested in a pump and go and she will never care about size.
Don't know why, but I'm craving lasagna, so I'll pick up my supplies on the way home tonight and cook away! Tirimisu sounds good for dessert!!
You know what really turns me on in stories, DB?
Ellipsis's by the ton....:-)
Hubby and I seem to do well on the gifts, but I'm usually helpful, pointing out various things I need or want well beforehand, and he does the same. Of course, going into your partners mind and looking for the truly unusual will always get you points. Three years ago I picked up a pair of bunny slippers for hubby, but these were the psychotic bunny from Monty Python's Search For the Holy Grail, with fangs and dripping blood. He laughed hysterically and wears them almost every day. He brought tears to my eyes with a rare early edition of the Hobbit as well, do some deep thinking, look at her likes, hobbies, favorites in film or books, and try to be just a little different. She'll appreciate it!!
Also, a suggestion on "useful" gifts? Don't make them gifts. My blender was shot, and hubby just out of the blue got me a new one with all the bells and whistles, I practically him in the kitchen because I needed it so badly. If he'd gotten it for a birthday or Christmas gift, I'd have shot him.
Just my 2 cents...
fish n' chips! Hubby found there's a Long John Silvers not too far away!
OK, as my pregnancy has progressed, I've had to put up with losing my figure, food issues, and all sorts of things but now, I have the "Over Protective Husband" to deal with. I was changing a light bulb in the kitchen and he freaked out, "You could fall and hurt yourself and the baby!" Yes, I suppose I could fall off of the one foot stool I was standing on and reaching up to change it, but I'd most likely just land gently on my feet. He now insists on carrying the laundry basket for me because it's "too heavy" (he does not, however, actually DO the laundry, I'm apparently capable of that), but I can't carry that basket that weighs, oh, 10 pounds or so. Sure, having him carry in all the groceries is nice, but I'm pregnant, not an invalid!!!!
Did you guys go to insane lengths when your ladies were carrying your children?
I'm taking lots of pictures of him so I can tell our daughter what he was like after I kill him for driving me crazy!
You see, we bought all the stuff together, so it'd be a fair split, BUT....I bought that fancy all in one remote, so it's all mine......muhahahahaha! He got kind of pissed when he changed the channel using the cable remote, and I changed it right back using the all in one...we battled a bit over it, but I fixed it by taking all the batteries out of the other remotes....he surrendered at that point.
Oh yeah? Well I heard that you all like to read dirty stories at a place called Lush!
I wouldn't do it to my man, but I've got a 12 inch Anal Intruder I love to use on people who ask impertinent questions...sans lube.
U ready?
This one's from hubby, don't blame me!
A guy walks up to his co-worker and starts talking.
"Hey, if you were off camping for the weekend, and you woke up with your ass sore, your pants down around your ankles and lube all over your ass, would you TELL anyone?"
The guys shakes his head violently, "No way man!"
"Good, you wanna go camping this weekend?"
Our best man got incredibly polluted at the bachelor party, and upon my husband to be waking him the next day (week before the wedding), he answered the door, wearing a single sock, the waistband of his underwear, not the underwear itself, with a pillow stuck to the side of his face, and one of the girls had given him an impromptu shave. He looks at my husband and say "Dude, what the fuck happened last night?" I have it on good authority that hubby was a good boy, but I can only imagine what else went on at that one.....
My bachelorette party? Now, I'm pleading the fifth on that one...it was one for the record books. It's the only one I know of that crossed international borders. To the north.
OK, I had answered that I had, several times, but not sexually. Apparently I took the question too literally.
I haven't yet, but depending on the woman, it could happen.
Sorry, but this girl would never be seen in such a silly looking toy. Cars are supposed to inspire awe, not laughter....
The absolute horror of what happened today will never leave me.....the.......cable went out for almost 45 minutes.....eeeeeaaahhhhhhggggghhhh!!!!!
Hubby's ten years older, and I'm pretty darn happy with his level of desire even though he's almost 50, besides, the man knows things that other, younger lovers couldn't even dream of...although I must say getting an appreciative glance from some young stud's always good for a girl's ego!
This one's a minefield to navigate for sure. When I realized I was in love with hubby, but not quite sure about if together forever was going to happen, we sat down for a loooong talk, and the issue was offspring. I told him flatout I was NOT ready at 29, but there was no doubt that I wanted a child some day, and if he had any doubts or uncertainty about kids, then I was going to break it off right then to save each of us the heartbreak. He assured me that he wasn't ready yet, either, but that some day a kid or kids would be just fine with him. (ten years was a tad longer than either of us anticipated, but oh well...) Although my field is far different, anyone considering marriage should REALLY work this one out before they say I do.
Sorry, REAL men know enough to not have to ask....
"The Master is not yet married. Nor do I think he ever will be."
"We take our horrible mutilations around here seriously."
"In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns."
"Luca Brasi held a gun to his head, and my father assured him that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract."
"Snap out of it!"
"Nazis. I HATE these guys!"
"Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?"
Leia: Han, I love you!
Han: I know.
"Lenny, why don't you go and see if you can visit the cockpit? Tell them it's your birthday. Go! Go! Go!"
Disco music...and karaoke. The fool that combines those with alcohol and Castlequeen is in for some truly wretched aural assault. Hubby claims I hit notes that don't quite exist. Despite being horrid at it, I LOVE it! You may be cringing, but I'm right alongside the girls in ABBA belting out the hits!
Been in one, used while we were housesitting, but much of the appeal is based on being with more than one person at a time. If it's just you and your partner, it doesn't do much, EXCEPT provide a good starting point to tying someone up.....if that's your thing...
