In our garage. We park our truck in the barn.

Do you prefer dogs, cats, or an other animal for a pet?

I'm afraid I haven't. I'm kind of curious now, so I'll try to get to that story soon.

Have you ever had your pants pulled down in public?

Yes. Actually, I guess I put family ahead of self, especially kids, grandkids, and great grandkids--oh, and my wife, of course. I'm not really a member of any clubs or organizations (I could bring up the Groucho Marx joke about club membership, but that's been overdone). Wait, I guess I've been in a progressive Euchre club for a few decades, and like to win from time to time (it's 10 bucks for the winner!), so I wouldn't put my competitors ahead of me there, but I'm not overly competitive either.

What is your favorite animal (excluding humans)?

I've read Moby Dick, and liked it. I'm sure there were some dick jokes, maybe some by me, when I was reading it. I remember the part where the sailors drink whale sperm, which makes me kind of jealous now.

Did you know that whale vomit found floating on the ocean was scooped up and used to make perfume?

At least half a dozen or so, including books I read for classes I take. If you mean strictly recreational reading, then probably only 3 or 4. I used to read a lot more.

What was the last book you read, or are currently reading?

I guess I don't really know much about them when they were young--just bits of stories they told about growing up. My dad said he would repair his own high chair when he was little.

If you could time travel in one direction only, would you go forward or back in time?

I'm afraid there wasn't much TV before I was born. I remember watching the single fuzzy channel when I was 5, then later we had three channels available in black and white. I think I first saw color TV when I was 9 or 10. Nowadays there is so much quality TV that you don't have time to watch it all.

Do you have a favorite show on TV right now?

About 115K. It still runs great.

Do you have any phobias, or something that really creeps you out? (Spiders, for me. Not really a phobia, but they really creep me out.)

Yes, but usually (maybe always?) it's from reading, not just looking.

Have you been caught masturbating (when you didn't want to be caught)?

Yes. I was unsuccessful. Oh, not really. I think I know who I am most of the time.

Do you think blowjobs are the best form of birth control?

I took piano lessons when I was very young, but often tried to get out of them. I faked seeing double for a while. Now, of course, I wish I'd paid more attention to my lessons. I even have a piano now. I have no talent, though--I just learn songs by rote memory.

Have you ever forgotten someone's name that you knew well?

No.

Have you ever been arrested and put in jail?

I have (locked myself out of a running car), and more than once! Yes, I've bought several cars from private sellers, maybe more than from actual auto dealers. It's always worked out well for me.

Have you ever considered the fact that when you swallow cum, you're eating something alive? I mean, I guess you could compare it to goldfish eating contests, which are probably no longer permitted because it would be considered cruelty to animals. The sperm are kind of like mini-fish, eh? So what about all the little sperm swimmers (for guys that haven't had a vasectomy, at least)? Aren't they like little fishies swimming around?

Beffer is my favorite forum poster, and, while her answers may not be frikkin bonkers, they're often pretty funny and/or intriguing. And I do look for her answers in the forums to learn more about her.

I miss the ability to send instant messages to other members when I see them online.

Do you ever wish you could change your gender?

Yes. It was a lumbar roll type of pillow. It wasn't expensive or anything, but it was important to me because it had been my favourite aunt's pillow before she died.

Have you ever been locked out of your car while it was running?

Yes. It's sort of expensive. You can copy an actual key for a few bucks or more or less, but when I had to buy a new fob, it cost about $70, if I recall correctly.

How much older than you was the oldest person you've had sex with?

Yes! My wife is a retired teacher. The Beatles are my favourite.

Have you seen Jupiter in the clear night sky lately?

Yes. I've been treated to shocks to private areas with a violet wand and zap wands. The violet wand is wonderful! I guess TENS units don't apply here, but I've had that too. I've been threatened with a cattle prod, but haven't gone that far (yet). I bought a zap wand to zap myself with sometimes. Oh, and then there have been accidental, non-sexually oriented shocks while being careless working on some electrical issues.

Have you ever used a strap-on dildo on a guy?

Beffer, isn't the other term your looking for called "swinging"? Or is that too old fashioned, like me?

This is maybe a bit odd, but I was fantasising about licking cum off of a woman's nipples/breasts, and then it dawned on me that it would just be wonderful if a woman's breasts could give cum instead of milk. I'd love it. How about you?