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1 month ago
Bisexual Cis Male, 35
0 miles · Scotland
Forum
Clumeleon
Who out there frequently does something they know they shouldn't? Who has a bad habit?
Are you a nail-biter? Do you pick your nose, or chew your hair? Do you ever slip out for a cheeky cigarette when everyone thinks you've quit?
Tell all, whether mundane or obscure.
My bad habit is that I pull out hairs from my body, especially my upper arms. When I'm nervous or stressed, I sometimes pull the hair on my head out, too.
Your turn.
Are you a nail-biter? Do you pick your nose, or chew your hair? Do you ever slip out for a cheeky cigarette when everyone thinks you've quit?
Tell all, whether mundane or obscure.
My bad habit is that I pull out hairs from my body, especially my upper arms. When I'm nervous or stressed, I sometimes pull the hair on my head out, too.
Your turn.
Clumeleon
Having just read what I posted earlier, I sound really pro-divorce. I'm not. If a marriage can be worked on, you should absolutely do whatever you can to try to make it work, especially where kids are involved. I'm just saying that if separation does seem to be the only solution, it doesn't have to mean that your kids suffer too much. Marriage shouldn't be a 'struggle', but it does take work sometimes.
As for all the statistics, I wouldn't concern yourself with them too much. There are examples the world over of children flourishing in all kinds of 'unconventional' environments. You know your own kids. It's up to you and your wife to overcome those odds, and it can be done.
I also wanted to add something from a Buddhist point of view. If you and your wife are living happy and fulfilling lives, whether together or apart, that happiness will emanate into your society and your environment. Good causes result in good effects. In other words, if you're happy, your kids will be happy, too.
I hope that even one word of what I have written is helpful. I wish you and your family all the best in whatever the future holds for you.
As for all the statistics, I wouldn't concern yourself with them too much. There are examples the world over of children flourishing in all kinds of 'unconventional' environments. You know your own kids. It's up to you and your wife to overcome those odds, and it can be done.
I also wanted to add something from a Buddhist point of view. If you and your wife are living happy and fulfilling lives, whether together or apart, that happiness will emanate into your society and your environment. Good causes result in good effects. In other words, if you're happy, your kids will be happy, too.
I hope that even one word of what I have written is helpful. I wish you and your family all the best in whatever the future holds for you.
Clumeleon
A broken home does not necessarily mean an unhappy one. My sister and I couldn't have wished for a better upbringing with the love and support of both of our parents, even though they weren't together.
In the long run, the happiness of the child must come before your own. If you honestly think that an amicable divorce would cause irreparable damage to your children, then you should absolutely stay put. If you are deeply unhappy in your relationship, it will probably start to impact the family dynamic as a whole and no one will be happy, so you should leave.
Sometimes a little bit of unhappiness is worth it for some long-term happiness all round. Every situation is different, obviously. I would say, if you and your partner are going to split, depending on the age of the children, involve them as much as you can and help them to see that their life will be different but not worse.
Simply my opinion. I am by no means an expert in this area but I know a lot of people whose parents are separated and know that it doesn't have to result in unhappiness for anyone.
In the long run, the happiness of the child must come before your own. If you honestly think that an amicable divorce would cause irreparable damage to your children, then you should absolutely stay put. If you are deeply unhappy in your relationship, it will probably start to impact the family dynamic as a whole and no one will be happy, so you should leave.
Sometimes a little bit of unhappiness is worth it for some long-term happiness all round. Every situation is different, obviously. I would say, if you and your partner are going to split, depending on the age of the children, involve them as much as you can and help them to see that their life will be different but not worse.
Simply my opinion. I am by no means an expert in this area but I know a lot of people whose parents are separated and know that it doesn't have to result in unhappiness for anyone.
