Quote by Primal
Do any of you ever find it instinctive to submit or have rougher sex with a dominant male? I sometimes think about what kinds of raw animal instincts lay below the surface of us all.

Like in nature a male lion will pounce on a female and have his way with her. The lioness can struggle all she wants but she isn't going anywhere. Do any of you ever like a guy to just take you and have his way with you? Do you think this is instinct that you get off on submitting or even fighting back (mutual here, not talking against someones will) for awhile before giving in to him?

Do you ever role play or simulate getting ? I dunno, to me it seems like animal instincts play a role in our sex lives no matter how enlightened and civilized we think we are.

Quote by Nikki703
I have had a lot of ups and downs, sexual and otherwise, since I was a virgin. Some really great and some were really, really bad. But each one made me the person I am today who I happen to like a lot. So with the possible exception of ending my marriage sooner, I wouldnt change a thing really.

Dont harp on the past, learn from it!!

Quote by Poppet
I love to be spanked, it doesn't matter what with. I just like the feeling of being spanked. It's a big turn on. Even if I'm being punished it still turns me on though I know I've done wrong and do learn from what I did.

Quote by clum
Thanks to everyone for their responses. You've shown compassion and given me a lot to think about. A lot of you have brought up the "being friends" thing so I wanna give you my perspective on that.

We were good friends for a long time before we got together and helped each other through a lot of hard times, as friends. From the first time we met, we just clicked and that, no matter what else has happened, has been a constant. After we broke up, the relationship reverted, by default, back to that. Yes, I still have strong feelings for her but I don't spend time with her to try to persuade her to get back with me. Likewise, she doesn't hang out with me because she feels "guilty" about breaking my heart. We're genuinely friends and we would spend time together like that even if the relationship had never happened.

I understand people saying that I should put some distance between us and give myself time away from her. Indeed, I recognised that as a good idea very soon after the break-up. However, it has gotten to the point where we now spend time together as friends again (I'm finding this difficult to put into words). I don't even know how I would now go about creating that distance - we have classes together, we share mutual friends, we are part of each other's lives. Do I just cut her out of my life? Do I start avoiding her in hallways and ignoring her texts? Do I tell her, "Hey, I'm still insanely in love with you so we can't hang out any more."?

We just are close and I don't know how to change that. People often say you can't be friends with your ex but it's more like I'm exes with my friend (if that even makes sense).

A little bit more information: We were together for nine months; not a terribly long relationship, I know, but my longest and it was, at one point, really going somewhere. We broke up after a miserable summer apart - something changed, we're not sure what, and she didn't feel the same about me physically (she felt awkward kissing me, holding hands, etc.). She felt it was unfair to me to carry on like that. So when I say "she broke up with me" it was more that her feelings had changed such that we both knew the relationship had to come to an end.

I know it sounds like I'm dismissing a lot of your comments but I'm not; I'm just trying to figure out how to actually best put them into action. There's part of me that really doesn't want to let her go and is even content to wait, however long it takes. I'm not unhappy about being alone, only about not being with her. I know that's not healthy but it's a very difficult internal battle for me.

Thanks again, really.

Quote by Naughty_Nurse
Of course I will watch, I find it funny if a guy sees that I watch and feels a little awkward, LOL. That's my type of humor I guess ;)
Not making me horny at ALL;

This one looks much better;

Quote by Mazza


I agree, C; DD and OMKN have said it best...

Time, distance and distraction are probably what's best for you right now...

I agree that less/no contact would make it easier for you to move on, get some perspective, because while you still have a close relationship with her, I don't think it will be easy to do that. It will just perpetuate the feelings of hope, loss, regret etc...

You'll always notice things that will remind you of her; songs on the radio, things that you see which you'd normally share with her, times of year.. all the usual stuff...

You need space now, to get your own feelings in order, perhaps even to grieve, process and let go.

Perhaps once you've been able to do that, you'll be able to pick up a relationship with her? Perhaps you won't want to or maybe she won't. I think though, without taking a break from it, you won't be able to get to that good place...

Go have fun, get your end away! It gets easier, the more you do to fill the gap.

Good luck! xxx

Quote by overmykneenow
I wonder if people confuse guilt with regret? (Maybe I am, here.)

Guilt is very negative, often misplaced and largely the result of something done intentionally. With regret, most often the only person you have to apologise to is yourself.

Regret shouldn't be paralysing but it should be motivating enough to make sure we do better in the future. It's ok to make a mistake, it's not ok to repeat it.

Surely a life with no regret would be like a life with no guilt: who would be impelled to repair any damage when you don't feel any of the consequences of your actions?

Quote by KnickerSniffer
Hello guys and gals, here goes.

I've been with my current girlfriend for about 5 years, I'm 24 and shes 21, we've always had a really fun and healthy love and sex life and had no problems up to now, things are actually going really really great! She's just got a promotion at work which meant we had to move which made me working life a bit harder (i drive trains so often commute at unsociable hours) but the salary increase meant we couldn't say no!

Well anyways more to the point, last week she went out with her work colleagues for a Christmas party and I'd agreed to pick her up around 3am from the venue, but she later text me saying she would be staying at a friends and I could get her in the morning. When I picked her up she confessed to having drunkenly gotten a tattoo with a work friend, it is very small and discreet and on her ankle, I couldn't really tell what it was at first but when I asked she seemed a little odd and told me it was her friends idea. We got home and things got heated and I ended up going down on her, I noticed she tasted different but I put this down to her being partying all night, she was wetter than normal but it only made things better.

As the weeks progressed I've noticed she started wearing an anklet that matches her tattoo so out of curiosity I googled what it could mean, I wa thinking maybe it was a friendship thing or maybe something to show she loves me ( i dunno, totally confused) but it actually transpires that this 'design' means she's in an 'open relationship' and its almost a form of 'advertising' herself to other men? It also turns out it was an idea of a male colleague of hers.

What do I do?! How can I know if she knows? Surely she must? What do I do? I'm really confused at this discovery and its not mistaken, the designs are exactly the same! I want to marry this girl but is this her way of showing she has other intentions?

Help us :-( I loved how our life was shaping up, we bring in close to 100k a year and were getting settled in life..!!