The Mystery Man from the Neck Down

You won’t find any shirtless posturing here.
Okay, technically, I’m shirtless. But let’s not make it weird.
That’s me in the pic. Real, filter-free, and aging suspiciously well.
I’m here for the long game, the stories that simmer before they sizzle.
If she’s answering the door in lingerie before we know her last name, my eyes are cramping up from rolling so hard and I’m already paging out.
Straight. Friendly. Mostly well behaved. Fluent in sarcasm and well-timed ellipses…
Here for the words, the buildup, the earned endings. .
Bonus points if you like dry humor and don’t mind a guy who occasionally overthinks fictional people.