My first day here... Ihope I'm not jumping in where I don't belong-but; I'm a 53 year old male and I used to have a lover who really knew what she wanted. While I was giving oral sex she would actually tell me what to do. The closer she got to orgasm the more it sounded like she was giving me commands. IE; She would yell - lick it- (use my tongue to like her whole pussy) or suck it - (lightly suck her clit into my mouth much like a tiny little cock). OR she would plead FLICK it - (use my tonge to RAPIDLY flick her clit). OR just lick my clit (slowly but firmly click her clit).
I have remember this and though she is no longer around, it has helped me please my other lovers. So if she can help out by telling you what to do (real time), you learn much faster.