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marcosurbina
Over 90 days ago
Male, 75
Mexico
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
Two farmers were driving their tractor down the middle of a country road. A car comes around the corner backs hard to avoid them, skids, tumbles twice and lands in a field. Jimmy say to Eamonn, "It's just as well we got out of that field."
A farmer has three sons.
One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating from school and would really like to get a car.
His father says, "Son, come with me."
He takes him to the barn and points to the farm tractor and says, "That tractor is needed here on the farm and I promise that as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car."
The boy was not too happy but he did understand that situation and said, "Okay, Dad."
A week later, his second son (10 years old) approaches him wanting a new two-wheel bicycle. Well, he gets the same excuse. "as soon as that tractor is paid for."
Shortly, a few days later, son number 3, his youngest, comes bugging him for a tricycle. Again, ol' Dad gives him the lecture about the tractor being paid for first. While leaving the barn, the young boy, more than a little disgusted with the whole thing, sees a rooster mating with one of the hens and promptly goes over and kicks the rooster smooth off the hen's back, mumbling to himself the whole time.
His dad says, "Son, why on earth would you do something like that? He didn't do anything to you to deserve that!"
The little boy looks his Dad right square in the eye and says, "Hey, nobody rides anything around here until that damn tractor is paid for!"
A farmer has three sons.
One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating from school and would really like to get a car.
His father says, "Son, come with me."
He takes him to the barn and points to the farm tractor and says, "That tractor is needed here on the farm and I promise that as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car."
The boy was not too happy but he did understand that situation and said, "Okay, Dad."
A week later, his second son (10 years old) approaches him wanting a new two-wheel bicycle. Well, he gets the same excuse. "as soon as that tractor is paid for."
Shortly, a few days later, son number 3, his youngest, comes bugging him for a tricycle. Again, ol' Dad gives him the lecture about the tractor being paid for first. While leaving the barn, the young boy, more than a little disgusted with the whole thing, sees a rooster mating with one of the hens and promptly goes over and kicks the rooster smooth off the hen's back, mumbling to himself the whole time.
His dad says, "Son, why on earth would you do something like that? He didn't do anything to you to deserve that!"
The little boy looks his Dad right square in the eye and says, "Hey, nobody rides anything around here until that damn tractor is paid for!"
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Yeah, Mr. Shameless. Nostalgia is a great stuff here as I recall this International Harvester bus -Wayne coach- and used to travel along a winding road to my hometown as a kid. I'm 58 now.
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A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the restroom. A few minutes later, a loud, bloodcurdling scream is heard. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes my nuts."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes my nuts."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
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Four blondes went to the bar in their pick-up. Three sat up in the cab and one sat in the bed of the truck. The three blondes were in the bar for about an hour before the fourth finally came in, looking frustrated. They asked, 'What took you so long?' She responded, 'Well, I had trouble getting the tail gate open!'
Three sat up in the cab.
Three sat up in the cab.
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Most people make their bed by walking around it and straightening things out as they go. All that shuffling just wastes time.
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If you have trouble staying fit at work, these office exercises are a great way to keep your body moving right at your desk.
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If she reached up, will have dangling, swaying tits, so she'd rather polish floor tiles. My maid's name is Laura, she's a Latin.
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A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained.
"He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."
%%%%%%
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Marriage is a rest period between romances.
&&&&&&&&&
Marcos to his wife. Are you listening to me, Maria?
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained.
"He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."
%%%%%%
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Marriage is a rest period between romances.
&&&&&&&&&
Marcos to his wife. Are you listening to me, Maria?
Active Ink Slinger
To define is to state the precise meaning of (a word or sense of a word, for example).
Long jump. Marcos defines it as a competition that involves jumping as far as possible from a running start.
Shameless009 defines it as the event in which athletes combine speed, strength, and agility in an attempt to leap as far from the take-off point as possible. See his example through a drawing he made himself below.
Long jump. Marcos defines it as a competition that involves jumping as far as possible from a running start.
Shameless009 defines it as the event in which athletes combine speed, strength, and agility in an attempt to leap as far from the take-off point as possible. See his example through a drawing he made himself below.
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Shameless009 got into his old work clothes one Saturday morning and set about all the chores his wife had been urging him to do all week. He cleaned the garage, pruned the hedge, and was halfway through mowing the lawn when a woman pulled up in the driveway and called out her window, "Say, what do you get for yard work?"
Shameless009 thought for a moment, then answered, "The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her."
Shameless009 thought for a moment, then answered, "The lady who lives here lets me sleep with her."
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...but isn't the heart located in the left part of human body? No at the center of chest subject.
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Your'gotta withdraw some money from your bank account to buy her a dress, Shameless009. She could be arrested for indecent exposure. Indecent exposure is the deliberate exposure by a person of a portion or portions of his or her own body under circumstances where such an exposure is likely to be seen as contrary to the local commonly accepted standards of decency.
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I was having sex with my girlfriend, doggy-style, and the cat and the dog were watching... I could've sworn I heard my dog say to my cat, 'Pft, look at him. He ain't even doing it right.'
Active Ink Slinger
The thong is a garment worn as either underwear or as a swimsuit by both women and men. The garment from the front can look like a regular bikini bottom, but on the back the material that holds the front up is reduced to a minimum. The back of the garment typically consists of a thin waistband and a thin strip of material that runs from the waistband under the crotch to join up with the bottom front of the garment, and typically designed to sit between the wearer's buttocks. At times, the rear can be so narrow that it is referred to as a string, which would disappear between the wearer's buttocks.
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It is not necessary to learn Spanish if you with to know what's going on here. Shameless009 wants her to do him a favor and reach for a book in a high shelf.
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This is not an ordinary panty, Shameless009. She made it herself in a sewing machine.
Embroidery is the art or handicraft of decorating fabric or other materials with needle and thread or yarn. Embroidery may also incorporate other materials such as metal strips, pearls, beads, quills, and sequins.
Embroidery is the art or handicraft of decorating fabric or other materials with needle and thread or yarn. Embroidery may also incorporate other materials such as metal strips, pearls, beads, quills, and sequins.
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A young man wished to purchase a present for his sweetheart and after careful consideration, he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart’s sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got mixed up. The sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, he sealed the package and sent it to her with this note.
Dearest Darling,
This is a little gift to show my affection for you on our Anniversary. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when you go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked great. I wish I could put them on you for the first time. No doubt other men’s hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off, blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you will like them and wear them for me on Friday night.
All my love,
P.S. Just think of how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Also, the latest style is to wear them folded down with the fur showing.
&&&&&&&&&&&
Yes, she always wear panties!!
Dearest Darling,
This is a little gift to show my affection for you on our Anniversary. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when you go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had been wearing for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked great. I wish I could put them on you for the first time. No doubt other men’s hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off, blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you will like them and wear them for me on Friday night.
All my love,
P.S. Just think of how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Also, the latest style is to wear them folded down with the fur showing.
&&&&&&&&&&&
Yes, she always wear panties!!
Active Ink Slinger
A woman walks into her doctor’s office and says “Doctor, I have this terrible rash.”
She lifts up her sweater to reveal a large ‘M’ shaped rash. The doctor replies, “Now that is the strangest rash I’ve ever seen.”
The woman explains, “Well my boyfriend goes to Michigan and refuses to take off his letter sweater when we make love.” The doctor shrugs her shoulders, prescribes some lotion and sends the woman on her way.
The next day another woman comes in with a very similar rash. “How did you get that?” the doctor asks. “My boyfriend goes to MIT and he refuses to take his letter sweater off when we make love,” she says. The doctor prescribes some lotion and sends the young lady on her way.
The third day another young woman comes into the doctor’s office and she too has a big rash in the shape of an ‘M’ on her chest.
“Let me guess,” the doctor says. “Your boyfriend goes to Maryland?” “No,” the patient replies, “My girlfriend goes to Wellesley.”
She lifts up her sweater to reveal a large ‘M’ shaped rash. The doctor replies, “Now that is the strangest rash I’ve ever seen.”
The woman explains, “Well my boyfriend goes to Michigan and refuses to take off his letter sweater when we make love.” The doctor shrugs her shoulders, prescribes some lotion and sends the woman on her way.
The next day another woman comes in with a very similar rash. “How did you get that?” the doctor asks. “My boyfriend goes to MIT and he refuses to take his letter sweater off when we make love,” she says. The doctor prescribes some lotion and sends the young lady on her way.
The third day another young woman comes into the doctor’s office and she too has a big rash in the shape of an ‘M’ on her chest.
“Let me guess,” the doctor says. “Your boyfriend goes to Maryland?” “No,” the patient replies, “My girlfriend goes to Wellesley.”
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What’s the best part of having a homeless girlfriend?
You can drop her off where ever you want!
You can drop her off where ever you want!
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What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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Marcos is the dog here!!
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
&&&&&&&&&&&
Marcos is the dog here!!
Active Ink Slinger
Art is the process or product of deliberately arranging elements in a way that appeals to the senses or emotions. It encompasses a diverse range of human activities, creations, and modes of expression, including music, literature, film, sculpture, and paintings. The meaning of art is explored in a branch of philosophy known as aesthetics.
What are Tattoos?
Whether they are on arms, legs, ankles or buttocks, tattoos are painted all over our bodies by injecting ink into our skin.
A needle attached to a hand-held tool injects ink into the cells of the dermis-a section of our skin that keeps tattoos from fading and stretching. The tool moves the needle up and down at a rate of several hundred vibrations per minute and penetrates the skin by about one millimeter. The ink that is left in the skin after the injection process is the tattoo. Tattooing was rediscovered by Europeans when they came into contact with Polynesians and American Indians through their explorations.
What are Tattoos?
Whether they are on arms, legs, ankles or buttocks, tattoos are painted all over our bodies by injecting ink into our skin.
A needle attached to a hand-held tool injects ink into the cells of the dermis-a section of our skin that keeps tattoos from fading and stretching. The tool moves the needle up and down at a rate of several hundred vibrations per minute and penetrates the skin by about one millimeter. The ink that is left in the skin after the injection process is the tattoo. Tattooing was rediscovered by Europeans when they came into contact with Polynesians and American Indians through their explorations.
Active Ink Slinger
A wife asks her husband what do you want for dinner, dressed in this outfit.
