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marcosurbina
Over 90 days ago
Male, 75
Mexico
Forum
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I was thinking in Tipzee photo and... well this pick up truck was too small. I had big images of hers.
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You know... it's getting a bit wet, might have to pack it in until the rain stops.
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You would rebound and slip off road by seeing pedestrian bouncing tits
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A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience was different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat!"
"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another. On the third day, the parrot could not hold back any longer:
"OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
"Look, it's not the same hat!"
"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another. On the third day, the parrot could not hold back any longer:
"OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
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Have you noticed I'm left handed, Pam? Don't draw to any conclussion yet.
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Yeah, that's right, Rocco -Italian name. But... As I try to log in Lush Stories... see what happens.
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Well, Nicola, these engineers would think only in height -talness, ellevation- provided a pole is erect, standing off ground.
At your joke here, the boys in second company thought the more pole sticked out of ground, the more could be used for a lay out. Am I right, ja, ja!?
At your joke here, the boys in second company thought the more pole sticked out of ground, the more could be used for a lay out. Am I right, ja, ja!?
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
I like both, ja, ja!!
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
I like both, ja, ja!!
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Two Engineers agree to paint a flag pole. Of course they need to know how tall it is so they can purchase the paint. One shimmies up the pole with a tape measure and falls after reaching about half way. While trying to figure out how they can possibly measure the pole along comes a Designer. After asking what they're doing he replies: "That's easy". He then reaches around the pole and pulls it out of the ground and lays it down.
"There you go", he said as he walked away. The two Engineers look at each other and one said "that stupid guy will never get anywhere, we don't need to know how wide it is, just how tall".
"There you go", he said as he walked away. The two Engineers look at each other and one said "that stupid guy will never get anywhere, we don't need to know how wide it is, just how tall".
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There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is."
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his services. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded:
One chalk mark . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1
Knowing where to put it . . . . . . . $49,999
EARLY COMPUTER
Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is."
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his services. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded:
One chalk mark . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1
Knowing where to put it . . . . . . . $49,999
EARLY COMPUTER
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Thank you Rocco -Italian name. You always support me at this.
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You like John Wayne, chefkathleen. Me too. I was a young boy, waiting for the bus to go to school, the big brand sign WAYNE (bus coach) in front. I didn't understand it was a last name, like John's, famous western actor.
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A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid- twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them:
"I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks:
"I've never seen a display like that in my life."
He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"
"No problem," replies the young man, "just get that lion out of the way."
"I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks:
"I've never seen a display like that in my life."
He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"
"No problem," replies the young man, "just get that lion out of the way."
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Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says:
"Before you tell that joke, you should know something: Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
%%%%%%%%%%
The Magic Mirror
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, if one tells a lie then with a “POOF” you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
So, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think. . . ."
“POOF”
&&&&&&&&
Probably she didn't make it too far? ja, ja, ja!!
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says:
"Before you tell that joke, you should know something: Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says: "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
%%%%%%%%%%
The Magic Mirror
Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one wish is granted. However, if one tells a lie then with a “POOF” you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
So, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Next a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the sexiest woman alive."
“POOF” The mirror swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think. . . ."
“POOF”
&&&&&&&&
Probably she didn't make it too far? ja, ja, ja!!
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A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says:
"That's not a TV... it's a microwave!"
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says:
"That's not a TV... it's a microwave!"
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Convertible...
This is the car where blondes got their key locked inside.
This is the car where blondes got their key locked inside.
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I do believe it does exist... not a myth anymore. A lot of reseach has been conducted up to now with positive results. It shouldn't be realted to pissing though. It's just a condition, like Rocco said above.
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There are several branches of Yoga traditionally cited as valid approaches to the goal of Self-realization. Yoga is a comprehensive spiritual art that takes into account the varied needs of different individuals. Can you tell what branch of Yoga is this?