Yes,i have contemplated suicide. Attempted it, even. To this day, i wake up and ask myself if i want to live or die. Sometimes, i only ask this once per day, sometimes, i ask that question once every five seconds. Normally, it falls somewhere in between, those two extremes. During this time, the question is easy to answer and sometimes takes effort. All for either a simple "live" or "die." The easy "die" answers are the most troubling.
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misty0666
Over 90 days ago
Female, 56
United States
Forum
My previous post may have seemed smartassed or trivial, however, i was being 100% serious. the solid, no doubts about it diagnoses are depression, PTSD, ADD, borderline personality disorder, panic attacks and anxiety. i have to carry a clean wash cloth in my purse to roll up and put in my mouth when the anxiety gets too bad. It is either that or risk a chipped tooth, bitten tongue or some other similar nonsense. Suspected diagnosis is either autism spectrum disorder or aperger's syndrome. waiting to get tested for that. From clinical opinion, i was misdiagnosed as a rugrat, but that was a long time back. Psychology was not where it is today. The end result is that i do not sleep without medication. As in, if i don't have my night meds, i do not sleep. be it a couple of days or weeks. This sucks ass to no end. This isn't me trying to get sedatives, it has been documented in my charts each hospital stay, whether it be for surgery or psych ward.