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nicola
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nicola
Matriarch
Quote by apptobebad


...because there aren't enough clowns on here already .


There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman...........


What's the punchline? They all got yapping and drunk? No change there then!

Tuesday night, I shouldn't be a little pickled right? I blame Rach. She led me astray.
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nicola
Matriarch
Quote by apptobebad


...because there aren't enough clowns on here already .


There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman...........


What's the punchline? They all got yapping and drunk? No change there then!

Tuesday night, I shouldn't be a little pickled right? I blame Rach. She led me astray.
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nicola
Matriarch
Yes it does

Those stories have been reintroduced to the front of the site as a small way of thanking the contributors for helping the cause.

They are not related to the latest competition.
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nicola
Matriarch
Being investigated. I have 22 friends online, but none are showing for me.
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nicola
Matriarch
Quote by RumpleForeskin
For the information of the three clowns doing business as: Jen, Penman, and Verbal, those bottles are filled with, Rumplation's own, 'Shampain', an elixir that has no peer, trust me on that one. ;)

All that is just more proof that not all of the comedian wanna-be's are in Washington or London -- that is, of course, except for Penman. His reward and/or punishment is a drink made with our unique contribution to the world of off-labeled boozes, Gunga-Gin.

Anybody else need something to wet their whistles?



Talking of clowns, two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"



I thought we had a clown emoticon. God knows we need one.
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nicola
Matriarch
Quote by sprite


don't encourage her. trust me, it will only end in tears.


I'm peeling the fresh ginger. You've been very naughty ...
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nicola
Matriarch
Quote by sprite


don't encourage her. trust me, it will only end in tears.




You will be freed in 12 hours.
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nicola
Matriarch
With so few new stories being submitted to "The Vault" of late, we have decided to close it.

Stories which were in there, will be published (with comments and votes intact) on the main page, to give them new exposure.

I'd like to say a huge thank you to all the authors who have submitted stories to that section over the years.

Cheers,

Nicola
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nicola
Matriarch
For your listening pleasure.

The new Radiohead song is rather "Loungey", but I love it.

I hope you do too.

I'm still rather floatey after a big weekend.

A large glass of your house Cabernet Sauvignon please barkeep.
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nicola
Matriarch
The whole "Build a wall" thing is preposterous.

Deserved of this retort:
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nicola
Matriarch
Hi Dave,

We're in a bit of a transitional stage at the moment, and all the desktop site membership options aren't available (some are) on mobile currently.

EDIT - Confirmation - it's best you renew on the Silver Membership status here for now, and it will carry over to mobile too (as the "Standard" Membership level there).

Thank you for supporting the site!

Nicola
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nicola
Matriarch
Good point, it slipped my mind. Thanks Scott.

Congratulations on 30 years of marriage! That's quite an achievement
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nicola
Matriarch
Count every " F " in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
(SEE BELOW)

How many?

3....4....


v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v

WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.

READ IT AGAIN !

Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.

The reasoning behind is further down.

The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.

Three is normal, four is quite rare.
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nicola
Matriarch
The Moment You Knew Competition

With February playing host to Valentine's Day, this competition focuses on love.

Competition Theme

Specifically, we are looking for stories which describe a moment you fell in love. The event which sparked that emotional trigger, when you knew you wanted to be with someone you loved.

Stories do not need to fall into the "love stories" category. As ever, we are looking for hot sex scenes together with the theme described.

We like to help hone our writers' skills, so as an added challenge, stories should be limited to a 6,000 word count.

Full competition details can be found here >>
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nicola
Matriarch
At best it's solicitation of our membership, which is against site policy.

Please report any such members to us and they'll be removed and IP blocked.

"Would you be interested in an erotic short story competition (<10,000 words)? The most viewed story will get $7000 to the writer." Yep, sure they will!
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nicola
Matriarch
I thought I was seeing things this morning walking along the beach near my folks' place.

Apparently there are dozens of varieties of starfish, not just your common or garden 5 legged variety. With the strong winds and tides, lots of these were washed up on the shore (sad to see, and apparently they die within a minute or so of being out of water):



I love the remoteness of this part of England. Not a soul in sight. Hardly surprising with 1°c temperatures and bitterly cold wind:
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nicola
Matriarch
Error - General error

Sorry there was a problem processing your request. An email has been sent to Lush admin.

Please go back and try the request again.


Do you know how I really feel when this happens?



Especially knowing Gav is having another day chilling out by a river somewhere in all that heat over there.
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nicola
Matriarch
I like to re-read this on particularly "difficult" days.

I hope others enjoy it and find solace in it during trying times:

****************************************************

All Things Pass - Lao-Tzu

All things pass

A sunrise does not last all morning

All things pass

A cloudburst does not last all day

All things pass

Nor a sunset all night

All things pass

What always changes?

–

Earth…sky…thunder…

mountain…water…

wind…fire…lake…

–

These change

And if these do not last

–

Do man’s visions last?

Do man’s illusions?

–

Take things as they come

–

All things pass
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nicola
Matriarch
Quote by silveranode

Some one should get their act together.

It's not a bank holiday in Australia.

IT'S THE AUSTRALIA DAY WEEKEND.

GET IT RIGHT ! !


Sorry cobber!

I hope you are having an enjoyable long ... erm, Australia Day Weekend!
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nicola
Matriarch
It's a long Bank Holiday weekend in Australia, and I believe Gav is away.

So please bear with us. Normal service shall resume shortly.

Apologies.
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nicola
Matriarch
Quote by MicheleNylons


Mods do have great power; they decide if and when a story gets published and on this site they have ability to edit the author's work; as an author, I'd call that great power.

btw I will 'go gold' to support the site

Thanks for responding to my posts


The support of people like you, keep the site alive.

Thank you!
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