I am awful at these things...

Let's see.....  46 yo cis male.  Started out just reading stories then made a couple of friends.

I love to chat with ladies who like to be called names, but I hate to be called Daddy. You can call me sir and I will treat you like a slut.

Yes, your husband can watch and clean you up when I am finished.

What else....  I'm not Johnny Depp.