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overmykneenow
1 day ago
Straight Male
0 miles · England
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"My Doctor says I should be taking Lithium but what the fuck does he know"
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Quote by emma382638
Hi everyone! First, I would like to say thank you for the many genuine, thoughtful welcomes. This appears to be a fun site to be at.
Now....coming from a newbie... not just to the site, but to internet "adult chat", I would like to tell you guys just how overwhelming and intimidating it is to go into the chat room as a new female member. Every single male in the room it seems wants to have a private chat, or whisper, which is understandable. But I would suggest, if you want to see new women in the chat room, to allow for a little breathing space. There are a couple guys that have been very polite and helpful, and I am telling you now, they have a better chance of being a chat buddy and friend than others.
I am not speaking for every woman here, I am sure, but I bet more get scared off than stay.
It's sad to say that your experience is not uncommon. I don't wish to start "mansplaining" or come up with the familiarly crass "Not All Men" trope but there are all sorts of people here - some you'll like, some you won't. The good news is that once you get a feel for how this place works you can start shaping your Lush experience to how you want it to be.
Now, show us your tits
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Quote by trinket
Are you serious OMKN? I realise your post above was only suggesting some ways jealousy could be avoided. I know the friends list order causes a lot of problems for some people but really? Don't change it because it might make someone else unhappy and cause drama? if someone wants to get snotty at me because of something so unimportant as the order of my friends, I unfriend them. Problem solved. I thought The rest of your suggestions were good ones.
Of course I'm serious, these are only suggestions for those who want to keep their exposure to drama to a minimum. As you said, it causes a lot of problems - my suggestion eliminates those problems without having to defriend - which we all know is never the end to a drama situation.
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To be honest, the people who experience this invariably seem to be the ones who put up stuff like "not here for dramas" on their profile. It seems to function like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Going through your very extensive profile I see you're interested in the D/S dynamic. That sub-culture has some of the most sensitive and insecure people on this site - jealousy breeds there like fungus.
Also be aware that some people enjoy provoking jealousy. I like to call these people assholes. The thing we always go back to is you're here for your amusement not anyone else's.
Here are some things you can do:
DON'T reorder your friends list
DON'T be a go-between
DON'T take sides
DON'T expect someone to do something for you because you did something for them
In addition, your profile settings allows you to control what appears on your activity feed. Switching off publicising that you've commented on someone's profile or picture or who you've recently added as a friend might make life a little easier for you.
Going through your very extensive profile I see you're interested in the D/S dynamic. That sub-culture has some of the most sensitive and insecure people on this site - jealousy breeds there like fungus.
Also be aware that some people enjoy provoking jealousy. I like to call these people assholes. The thing we always go back to is you're here for your amusement not anyone else's.
Here are some things you can do:
DON'T reorder your friends list
DON'T be a go-between
DON'T take sides
DON'T expect someone to do something for you because you did something for them
In addition, your profile settings allows you to control what appears on your activity feed. Switching off publicising that you've commented on someone's profile or picture or who you've recently added as a friend might make life a little easier for you.
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Personally, defined abs on a girl is definitely NOT a turn on. But hey, if you're the sort of guy that likes a girl to look like a guy then good luck to you.
I like a girl with a kissable curve from her belly button to her mound.
What's most important is that you feel comfortable with how you look. There's nothing wrong with having a shape as a goal but you mustn't allow yourself to obsess over it to the detriment of your physical and mental health
I like a girl with a kissable curve from her belly button to her mound.
What's most important is that you feel comfortable with how you look. There's nothing wrong with having a shape as a goal but you mustn't allow yourself to obsess over it to the detriment of your physical and mental health
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Quote by oz99
I hate that when you click on a streaming Forum topic and then go back to the Home page, the streaming starts over with the first topic. If you are interested in commenting on one of the later topics sequentially, you have to sit and watch the topics from the beginning; all topics on which you have either chosen not to comment or you have already entered a comment.
Don't click on the thread link, click on the "go to last post" link in the right hand column
It looks like this
and will take you to the latest addition to the thread 
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Surely the lesson is DON'T learn anything about your subject matter if you want to succeed. This site has done very well, indirectly, from 50 shades - see how many times it crops up in people's favourite books on their profiles. Many people find this place because they want the same hit (excuse the pun) they got from 50 shades.
The trouble with BDSM is the amount of "you wouldn't understand, you're not in the lifestyle" bullshit. Thankfully there's a lot less of that here than there is in other places. If it's good for those involved (or those who read it) who's to say they're doing it "wrong".
It IS about spanking, it IS about abuse, IF that's what you want it to be. It's a codependency party everyone's invited to.
The trouble with BDSM is the amount of "you wouldn't understand, you're not in the lifestyle" bullshit. Thankfully there's a lot less of that here than there is in other places. If it's good for those involved (or those who read it) who's to say they're doing it "wrong".
It IS about spanking, it IS about abuse, IF that's what you want it to be. It's a codependency party everyone's invited to.
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Just for the sake of clarity, is your wife's friend male or female?
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Thank readers? What the hell for - it's not as if we're putting a gun to their head to read!
They should count themselves lucky I even allow their comments anywhere near my stories!
They should count themselves lucky I even allow their comments anywhere near my stories!
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25 is a decent compromise figure - if you increased it any more women would get swamped with whispers.
On other chat sites, users are booted if they don't interact for a certain period (10 minutes or so) maybe that would be an alternative, or maybe set up a queueing system so you just have to wait until someone drops out.
On other chat sites, users are booted if they don't interact for a certain period (10 minutes or so) maybe that would be an alternative, or maybe set up a queueing system so you just have to wait until someone drops out.
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Quote by nicola
That's great. Is a Tuesday start good for you?
Sure - I'll just need complete unrestricted access to your database and servers
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Quote by BiMale73
"One size fits all" is a bit confusing here. "One source fits all" is more 'fitting'
The idea is that the size (both visually and in features) adjusts automaticly to fit the device/platform. So it's actually many size in one.
It is doable and practical to have a website like Lush set up that way, as it has a lot of benefits. I'm not sure how doable/practical it is to migrate to such a configuration from the current setup. With only one part-time developer it's probably undoable. But then again, it can be the target to work to over a long time.
In the end Lush will need to have its redesigns. Concerning the visual and interaction design Lush looks quite outdated already. Users love the content, so it's not a big problem for now. But in not too long people will demand a more modern website and if a competing website delivers that (maybe not the stories, but the social part) then that could become a big problem for Lush, cause then you're already too late.
Lush needs to keep up-to-date with its looks and usability, otherwise its strengths will become its weaknesses. That's what I believe.
It is doable, you just need a designer, a system developer (a team ideally), a UX expert, a data architect, a couple of analysts (one system facing, one business facing), a specialist project manager and a team of testers. And a pile of cash to pay them all. An open market estimate to create Lush 2015 could easily head into six figures.
I'm not sure a full rebuild is necessary, I think it is possible to make Lush responsive by reconstructing the CSS.
It's still a big job but could be done a bit at a time. You just need to find some CSS experts with time on their hands. People who actually know stuff though rather than enthusiastic volunteers willing to learn or people who have managed to change the background on their wordpress site. People who know why using the universal selector for a CSS reset is a bad idea.
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Quote by wildgurl
When is the best time to introduce characters (descriptors) into a plot? I have started writing what I suspect will be around 8,000-10,000 word story. It begins with an email from an ex-lover and the main character teetering on whether to re-enter the relationship and then remembering what had happened the last time they met in explicit details. Then moving to further introduce how they met and further background information and experiences.
Is this wrong or do I need to build some basic character information into the beginning of the story? I apologize for such a basic question, yet I am finding it difficult to introduce the main characters in the beginning and want the reader to develop their own opinion with the use of subtle clues regarding the individuals instead of just stating who the characters are and what they look like, do, preferences. Is it wrong to begin with an explicit beginning?
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Don't be afraid of giving the reader some work to do - let them fill in the blanks or anticipate (rightly or wrongly) where the story is going next. Don't let your descriptions slow the pace of the story but if you really need to impart some bit of information about a character (or event or location even) then do so. You can always go back in the next draft and move the information around to other parts of the story if you wish.
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Nice to see a sensible discussion on this.
I don't think there's any magic formula for getting RRs other than getting as many mods as possible to read it - it only takes one of them to think it's good enough.
Neither of my RRed stories were awarded on verification but they were both awarded by people on my friends list. Draw whatever conclusions you want about that - I choose to think that it didn't influence their decision to award but did make it more likely they would read it.
My EP was a huge surprise, I honestly didn't think it would be approved. Personally, I don't think it's the best thing I've written here but some people obviously did. The most important thing is to write for yourself and not get hung up on what are, in my opinion, arbitrary awards.
I don't think there's any magic formula for getting RRs other than getting as many mods as possible to read it - it only takes one of them to think it's good enough.
Neither of my RRed stories were awarded on verification but they were both awarded by people on my friends list. Draw whatever conclusions you want about that - I choose to think that it didn't influence their decision to award but did make it more likely they would read it.
My EP was a huge surprise, I honestly didn't think it would be approved. Personally, I don't think it's the best thing I've written here but some people obviously did. The most important thing is to write for yourself and not get hung up on what are, in my opinion, arbitrary awards.
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You really don't want to know how many times my Golden Girls slashfic has been turned down here
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Quote by LusciousLushie
Self publishing resource: I think it implies generality instead of quality, or a place for novices and amateurs. I also think that comparison of Lush with other story sites is inappropriate as in addition to the stories, Lush is also a adult social media.
Qualitative improvement is a continuous process and one of the method may be that after approval of a story, a team of distinguished mods grade and score that story. I think three shades can be worked out as Excellent, Good and Average. Stories with excellent and Good grading should remain visible to all and Average shade stories may only be visible to author or their friends. However, members may score stories as they like. In this way, quality stuff would remain in forefront !
This idea has merit but given the amount of butthurt some people get when their stories are scored with 4 or how they perceive awards are handed out, I don't think Lush is ready for this. From what I see on Lush, few authors improve their writing in a technical sense; the majority of improvement you see in authors is in a growing confidence in skills they already possess but haven't really used before.
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Quote by nicola
Thank you for the feedback re the spidering.
After spending many hours researching, I have a solution which will be implemented in the coming weeks. It will be both useful for surfers as well as helping spider the site more effectively. It will make greater use of our tag database.
Oh, you wicked tease. Xx
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Quote by nicola
Interesting point.
However, at the moment, only pages 1-10 and then the last 2 pages are linked. So that's only 12 pages.
Any idea how we could get google to spider the site more deeply? You seem a bit of an expert on these things. Any help always appreciated!
The number links aren't that effective on SEs as the information and links on them are always changing. Google already spiders the site pretty well for each category and looks to treat them as landing pages in their own right. I know in the past that Google itself recommended there should be less than a hundred links per page - this sounds a lot but they soon add up - if you can get rid of less effective links, you really should. The fewer options the spiders have, the more likely they'll go where you want them to.
The home page currently contains 546 link tags
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Quote by gav
For shits and giggles, does anyone here actually use the page numbers at the bottom of the story lists (home page)? I’m not sure what the value is with them, especially as the numbers grow.
If I remove them and replace with a <Prev Next> links instead is anyone going to contract kill me?
Cheers, gav
I do, but only when i'm cooking up stats to throw around the forum. That said, I usually monkey with the query string to get to where I think I need to go rather than using the numbered links
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Bring Me The Orgasm Of Alfredo Garcia
(One for BBC Radio 4 fans out there)
(One for BBC Radio 4 fans out there)
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I can't help but be reminded of that time when someone posted something hilarious. Really, it was the funniest thing ever.
Anyway, I digress.
Oh, hang on…
Anyway, I digress.
Oh, hang on…
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Quote by trinket
Oops. Sorry, I missed this post.
EVEN though I would like to stay in a cranky mood and pout, I will agree it might be a good thing.
I think it's a great idea to split stories and poems and it has the potential to improve the site for poets.
Instead of being limited to two categories of poem, with its own section of the site there could be as many categories for poems as there are stories. If the community drives it, it could even lead to designated poem verifiers, Recommended Poems and more poetry based competitions.
Of course it will be a long road to get to that position but the opportunities created by splitting poetry from stories seem, to me least, to outweigh the disadvantages.
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Quote by daddysweetheart
So you know every poet personally and how they think?
I'm just curious.
Not at all, but I know grief junkies when I see them
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What amazes me in this thread is the number of men who don't know the difference between impotence and infertility