It's not something I thought I’d ever be into… but I knew I was into him. I’d never had an urge to try it; frankly, I found it a bit gross. I never knew it could lead to pleasure. I thought of it as a devious act for men who might be a little curious. But what did I know... Nothing really.

So what the hell. Life wasn’t getting any fresher. Why not open myself up to new experiences? What the hell, why not…

That night, we’d seen each other in a new way. There was love there, intimacy. A sort of yearning for closeness, a yearning of something at least. We’d ordered dinner in, and snuggled up together to watch a movie. Action, I was paying no real attention, I was enjoying the energy that surged next to me. He’s warm. A consistent low buzz emanated from his being, constant, rhythmic, steady. I felt like I was part of that rhythm even though we weren’t moving at all.

I’d already had him inside me twice that day. He took me first on the bed, then again in the shower that afternoon. I’d outgrown my need for perfection, understanding in time that he liked me better messy. I’d spent so much time hiding, covering up any flaws that might show. There was no need for that anymore. He was so sure of himself, his desires, his attractions. I’d never been with someone so in control of their pleasure. Any pleasure I’d received was due to my perfecting the angle necessary to rub things the right way. Or to ride until I was too tired to care about finishing myself. I’d had good sex, but mostly, vanilla. 

I’d known since our second date that it was something he was into. He never pressured me to try it, but I knew he wanted it. He’d asked to explore the area, and took liberties in the early days. I found that I didn’t hate it. My body was craving something more, something new and exciting. He was a leader, and he was leading me to a source I had no idea existed.

After stumbling upon his drawer of tricks, I knew I’d need to concede sooner or later. I told him I’d be open to trying it. And like any man with desires awaiting, the game began. At my request, he acquired some new toys quickly, and I brought them home to test. Not without the research first… Many nights, I spent googling on incognito mode, scrolling Reddit and watching ‘instructional videos’ and legitimate tutorials. The biggest take away was lube, lube and more lube.

That night, melding into one another, I could feel myself aching for a closeness we hadn’t yet shared. The practicing had gone well over the past month, and I’d upgraded from a small plug to the dildo I’d originally bought to practice deep throating the donkey dick on this man. He was well hung, with a massive curve to the right. I wanted to get it down my throat so badly, to please him. I wanted him in my mouth all the time and I needed to bring him pleasure, to show him how much I loved to give. How much I loved him. But even more than down my throat, I knew he wanted to put it in my ass, and I’d been methodical in preparing.

During one particular night of research, I deployed the use of several toys in an experiment: a vibrator in my vagina, the plug in my ass, and the wand on my clit. Thinking about how much it would turn him on, I began to pulse. I tightened, and when the release came, it was wave after wave of pleasure. That was the first time I realized that this activity was for both genders, and I’d been missing out. 

The movie was ending. I began to kiss his neck, and when the lust in me rewrote the night, I had to act. I knew I needed that cock in my mouth, and eventually, I needed him to fill me up. Needed.

When he began to sense my urgency, he grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged. Slow down, it meant. He wrapped his fingers around my throat and pulled my lips up to meet his, pulling me away from the taste of his precum that I craved, wetting the inside of his boxers. I slid my hand inside his waistband to feel him. 

He groaned. My fingers barely closed around his girth. 

I peeled back his saxx to unleash it. Pheromones and the earthy smell of him made me shiver. I pulled my lips from his and quickly took him in my mouth. The warm wetness, sliding up and down, my tongue rounding his head brought the calm excitement of what I knew was to come.  

He played with my hair gently while I worked, his breath heavy, until the tug of my hair came again. He needed a break. 

Without a word he rose up and grabbed his bag of tricks, a secret stash of toys we’d accumulated over the past few months. He pulled out the wand vibrator, which had quickly become my favorite. I kneeled on the bed, eagerly waiting to get back to my task as he returned, but instead he pushed me down flat on the bed and crawled up behind me. He plunged himself inside me, tight between my legs, and began to thrust. I took every inch of him with great pleasure. I was slick and wet and he slid in and out with ease… he went slow, and hard, driving his cock into my guts. The sounds he made sent me. Listening to his pleasure was almost as erotic as feeling his rock-hard piece rearranging my insides. He stopped himself again and slid out so he didn't finish. I turned and looked back at him, waiting for him to ask.

"Do you want it babe?" he asked.

"I know you do," I teased back, nodding my head yes. 

He’d left the bag of tricks beside the bed and reached over for the lube. We repositioned to our sides as he coated his cock and I felt myself, ensuring there was enough lube to cover me, just as I’d learned. I was nervous. It didn’t come without pain, but the anticipation of the pleasure was enough to keep me eagerly moving forward. 

I reached around to guide him into me. He let me lead. He didn’t push, or rush. He patiently savored every move towards his desire. He began to enter me. It was tight and I urged myself to relax further, allowing him in. So many thoughts crossed my mind. The pain, the mess, the potential embarrassment. What if something went wrong and we had to stop - what if I disappointed him and he didn’t want me anymore?

I pushed the what ifs aside as I held onto the length of him, allowing a little bit more into me. He withdrew just enough to stimulate, and I allowed a little bit more in each time. I could feel his urgency.

"Slow," I said. I knew there was more of him to come, but I couldn't take more.

His groans assured me the pleasure was enough. Hearing him let me sink into myself, allowing me to find the pleasure I knew was there, I reached for the wand and began to stimulate myself. The moment it touched my clit, there was only pleasure. No more pain, no more fear or what ifs. No sounds aside from the hum of the toy. My hand had moved from his cock to his hip as he thrust slowly behind me. Then came the tightening, the pulsing, everything went silent. I should have pulled the toy away but I couldn't. I needed the pleasure, and it overtook me before I could decide to stop.

It began with a pause as I held so tightly, anticipating the release. It came, I came, so hard I felt like buckling in on myself. And with every gentle thrust into me it hit a new string and the pleasure heightened, peaking and releasing again. His body was warm behind me. His energy consumed me, I felt safe, connected, filled. He thrust in a little further as I tightened and released, each wave as consistent in pleasure as the last. Time seemed to stop and go on forever. I held the wand to my clit and didn’t move it. I kept it there, it was an eternity. I couldn’t let go of the moment. 

Soon, the pleasure began to lessen, each wave slowing, gently easing me back to reality. I was more aware than ever of my man inside me, moaning his pleasure as he began his big finish. I was still pulsing when he filled me, trying not to push too hard, barely able to control himself as he came. 

We lay together for sometime, still connected, unwilling or too tired to pull away. My entire body was buzzing as I sank into his chest. He held me. He was happy, he was pleased. And so was I. More than I could have understood before him. And the best was still yet to come.