CHAPTER 16

Well I was pretty sure that this time I’d be left alone at least for a while. I was more than persuaded that I’d likely be getting Christmas cards from Abigail, but those would be returned unopened for sure. I didn’t like their attitudes or their phony sympathy and gift offers. The fact was I was beginning to actually hate the bunch of them. There was nothing I was ever going to get from them that wasn't a bunch of nothingness, nothingness to me for damn sure.

I looked over at the clock radio on the mini-credenza and noticed that it was almost 5:00. That someone would be knocking on my door this time of day was not likely. But, someone was. I frowned. It had to be one of them. So much for my prognostications!

Reluctantly, I rolled over to the door and answered it. I stared.

“You!” I said. “Don’t you assholes get it! I hate you! Get away from me!”

“Hello Sam,” said my worst enemy.

“What are you doing here, Mister Cord. We’ve had our little set-to,” I said. “And I saw it as a tie, so let it be and get the hell away from me.”

“Sam, I have news, very important news,” he said. “Please, may I come in?”

“What? No! Not now not ever again!” I said. I’d made no move to allow him entry. I was super angry.

“Sam, it’s about your dad. Please,” he said. He’d stopped me.

“My dad?” I said.

“Sam please,” he said again. I rolled back inside—reluctantly rolled back inside—the room leaving the door open for him to come in. He did, come in that is. I spun around in my chair to face the man.

“So?” I sneered.

“Sam, there is no easy way to say this...” He paused.

“What?” I said.

“Sam your dad is real sick. Sam he’s dying,” he said, and he looked down.

I had no doubt that the man knew what he was talking about. I also had no doubt that what he said was true. My daddy was dying.

Silence reigned for some minutes, some long minutes. “How do you know this?” I said. The man looked up and directly at me.

“After my wife got back from her visit with you, she was distraught. She didn’t know what to do, Sam. She so wants to help you, and be around you, and have you be around the children,” he said.

“Bull-fucking-shit! She holds me in contempt, but then, so do I! But what does any of that nonsense have to do with my daddy!” I said. I was starting to tear up, who wouldn’t. Yes, I was tearing up because I was certain that the man wasn’t exaggerating if anything he was minimizing the situation.

“She had the idea that she would try to get your dad to talk to you. She went to see him. When she saw him how he looked... Sam he looked real bad. He’s lost a lot of weight, and well, he looked real sick.

“She kinda forced the issue and he admitted to Abby that he had stage four prostate cancer. Sam, he’s got but a few months to live tops,” said Owen Cord.

I couldn’t talk. For the moment the man left me alone with my thoughts. I turned away from him and stared at the wall. I hated him and I was grateful to him—at the same time. I didn’t know what to do.

“Sam, he made Abby promise not to tell you. He didn’t want to add to your problems is what he told her. But Abby did tell me. I made the unilateral decision to come to see you, and well, here I am,” he said. I nodded.

“Thank you for that,” I said, quietly said. I turned toward him. He nodded.

“Sam anything I can do...” He said. I turned back to him and gave him a look. The last thing I wanted to do was owe this guy anything, but it looked like I was not going to be able to avoid owing him.

“There is one thing,” I said, “and I hate to ask. I really hate to ask.”

“I said anything, and I meant it Sam,” he said.

“I can’t drive and I don’t have a car anyway even if I could nor the money for a cab. But, I can give you fifty bucks for gas. I mean if you’d consider giving me a ride to my dad’s place,” I said.

“Not a problem,” he said, and he didn’t laugh at my offer to pay for the gas. Oh, and Sam, you do have a car, that pickup truck. We’ll be getting that down to you soonest, okay?” he said.

“Yeah sure,” I said. It had been so long, that I’d completely forgotten about my ’93 Silverado. It would be good to get it back. At worst I could sell it for some good bucks. And, maybe I might even be able to figure a way to get steering wheel controls so that I would be able to drive where I wanted without having to call a cab.

“And Sam, I know you want to be your own man, but this is a special deal here. You won’t be paying me anything including for gas. Okay?” He said. I nodded. I had to agree with the man that this was indeed a special deal.

“Okay,” I whispered, and I gnashed my teeth as I said it.

******

The ride back to Phoenix was mostly quiet. What' would we have talked about anyway. The man who stole my family was driving and doing me a big favor in the process, and uncomfortable didn’t even begin to describe my feelings in the matter. But it was a favor, and one I could not have gotten from anyone else on such short notice. Jeff would have driven me, but he did have a job, and I’d likely have had to put off the trip till the weekend; this was Wednesday, and I needed to get home fast.

As we neared my home turf, the driver looked at me, and swallowed.

“Yes?” I said.

“Sam, if you will allow, Abigail and I will look after your place in Tucson while you’re up here. Would that be all right?” He said.

“I left it locked up, but I’ll let you know?” I said. “I don’t know how long I’ll be here. So, well, I’ll let you know.”

“Oh okay,” he said. “But we’re just a phone call away.”

“Thanks, you’ve been a big help. And, don’t worry about my dad coming down on Abigail in all of this. I’ll make it right by him,” I said.

“Thanks, I know Abigail was antsy about me going for that very reason,” he said.

“Yeah sure,” I said.

I didn’t say anything to him, but every time her name came up I felt funny. It was like I should have been the one telling him about what she was doing, thinking, saying. But it was him! It was him and it hurt. I don’t think he had a clue how much.

“Sam?” He said.

“Yeah?” I said.

“Would it be all right if Abby or I brought the children by to see you and their granddad?” He said.

I hadn’t even thought that far ahead, but it was clear that I needed to.

“Yeah sure,” I said. “I know he has strong feelings for them, so yes to that.”

“Good, good,” he said. “We’ll work that out as soon as we can, probably in the next couple of days.”

“That’ll be fine,” I said. “But wait till the weekend. I need to be with my dad one on one for a bit. Okay?”

“Sure bet, man,” he said.

What I didn’t share with them was my feelings regarding the children seeing me. They’d met me and I could tell that they felt uncomfortable around me. I wasn’t sure whether that was because of the way I looked, or because they’d been introduced to me as their father. Logically, I figured it was a bit of both. I had it in mind to not be around when they came; it would be too much for me. Would I actually dare to not be there when they came? I wasn’t sure. I would be hedging my bets on that one. I’d be making the call.

******

The man left without coming in. I guess he wanted to avoid the possible firestorm of my dad thinking he’d been betrayed. Of course he had been, but in this case it was the good kind of betrayal if there was such a thing.

“Son!” said Aaron Bradshaw.

“Hi Dad,” I said. It’d been only a couple of months, maybe a little more; he looked like a skeleton; well, he did to me. I could see why Abigail had pushed him to give her the details.

“Abigail?” he said. His meaning was clear.

“No, no, not Abby. It was Owen. She’d evidently told him, and he made the decision to out you. And I am damn glad he did. I owe the man for that, and I don’t like owning Owen Cord anything,” I said. The man across from me sagged back into the room and took a seat on the couch.

“I just didn’t want to add to your problems,” he said. “I couldn’t help you with your woman thing, but . . .”

“Dad, you and I are family. We’re all we’ve got,” I said.

“Son, you’ve still got the children. I know it’s not the way you want in terms of them; but it’s better than nothing. You’ve got to lighten up and be there for them disfigured face and all,” he said.

“Dad...” I started.

“I know you still love her. That’s never going to change and it, your feelings, will probably get worse as time goes by. But son, you’ve got to man up and deal with the hurt and anguish I’m sure you deal with every day regardless,” he said.

“I don’t know, Daddy. You’re right about me still loving the woman. Every time I see her, or them, I want to vomit I get so sick at heart. I need her, and I know I’ll never have her again, and it hurts real bad Daddy,” I said.

“I know son, I know,” he said.

“Dad I want to know all about your situation. Prostate cancer is what Owen told me. That right?” I said.

“Yes. They give three or four months tops,” he said. “It is what it is. I’m not unduly concerned about it. I guess you could say I’m resigned to it.” I nodded, and looked down.

“I’d seen some of my brothers die in the desert not many but a few. It was real bad then: they’d been so young, all of them. But my dad wasn’t that old either. This was going to be real bad too; I just knew it.

“Dad, I’m going to move in here for now. Would that be all right?” I said.

“Move in here?” he said. “But I don’t need...”

“Yes, you do. And I need to be here too. I can’t be down in Tucson waiting to get a call. Dad, you’ve got to let me be here. Okay?” he nodded. It was a reluctant nod, but he did nod in the affirmative.

“At least I won’t have to traipsing off to the store to get groceries,” he said, and he smiled.

“Yes, well that is a true thing isn’t it,” I said. He seemed to think of something.

“But, but you can’t drive!” he said.

“That’s why they have cab companies,” I said. “And, I’m getting my truck back; Abigail still has it so Owen informed me. I’m going to get those steering wheel controls that they make for guys like me.”

“You know that’s a good idea,” he said. “I can even help you there. I’ve got some money saved, and it’s all for you. You can use it to take care of that little matter. Okay?”

“Okay, Dad. That would be real good for sure,” I said, and it would.

“And son, I wasn’t going to bring this up, but I guess now would be a good time. I have a life insurance policy. It won’t make you rich, but it will support a pretty good drunken orgy for you and a few of those military friends of yours,” he said, and he laughed till he started to choke.

“Okay, okay Dad, okay! Control yourself!” I said.

We talked and laughed a little. I told him he could expect some more visitors. I also informed him, more or less forcefully, that he needed to take a bath and to change his clothes. He’d evidently decided at some point that there was no point to taking care of his personal hygienic needs! But, now with the children about to be visiting, as I had informed him, he would be.

******

2006

And then it was four days later and the entire Cord clan would soon be swarming all over my dad’s place in a matter of hours. He seemed to relish the idea. But I worried that they, the kids, might tire him out. Abigail would do her best, I was sure, to keep the uproar under control, but I expected it would be at best a losing battle. Well, the kids were but nine years old.

And then they were there and then they were noisy and then it was tiring for my dad: all of which I learned about after the fact.

After the fact because I’d called my bud, Jeff, and he had picked me up and gotten me out of there before the crowd of them arrived. I had finally decided that I couldn’t face them, not the kids knowing as I did what the deal was in terms of their real father. She’d made that more than clear to me. And, add to that it was more than hard for me to be around her. No, I’d had to get outta there. That there would be repercussions was a forgone conclusion, but it was what it was and that was all there was to it.

******

I had Jeff drop me back at my dad’s place after midnight. I wanted to be sure that the clan had taken off. That I’d have to be answering a lot of importunate questions was certitude, but I really didn’t give a shit. I wasn’t going to be a part time second class daddy and that was all there was to it. I knew I couldn’t beat the man at his game, so I was going to be taking myself out of the game altogether. I was actually feeling pretty good. Well, I was; then I wasn’t.

“Finally decided to show up did you,” she said, from out of the darkened living room.

She startled me. “Yeah,” I said, and I wheeled myself back to my room without another word. I kind of expected her to follow and begin the gun battle, but she didn’t. I went to bed.

The sun woke me. I looked over to the clock on the dresser. It read 7:13. I was still a little sleepy. But I got up and cleaned up and brushed my teeth. I wheeled myself out into the hallway on my way to the kitchen; I could smell the coffee all the way down the hall. Dad was up.

I wondered how long she’d stayed after our brief encounter of the night before; then I knew.

“Good morning, Mister,” she said. “Coffee?” Oops, my dad wasn’t up, not yet.

I nodded, and did it with narrowed eyes.

“What are you doing here? You obviously stayed the night,” I said.

“Yes, I crapped out on your sofa,” she said. “We need to talk.”

“No we don’t. The last time we talked you pretty much put me in my place. I didn’t like the place, so I left the place. Got it!” I said.

“Boy oh boy, I really did a bad job of fixing things, didn’t I,” she said, and it was not a question.

“No, but you did a very good job of letting me know my place. As far as you and my replacement are concerned, I’m at best a second class father and absolutely powerless to do anything about it. So, fuck me!” I said.

“You couldn’t be more wrong, Mister,” she said. “I guess I must have left you with those impressions for which I am totally sorry, but you did in fact get it wrong.”

“Oh, you didn’t say that he considered himself the main dad and not me and that I had to accept that as set in stone? You didn’t say that, mean that?” I said.

“Well, not the way you seem to think,” she said.

“The way I think? What does that even mean?” I said.

“It means you are equal with him, not superior to him, no, but equal in every way,” she said.

“And he would agree with that if he were here? He doesn’t see himself as the main daddy!” I said.

“Yes,” she said.

“You’re lying,” I said, “and I don’t appreciate it. But, it doesn’t matter, because for me there is no equality in any event. I’m the only dad period. And I hope you’re getting this because I really and truly do not want to appear vague or ambiguous here. Got it, lady!”

“Sam, I don’t know what I have to do or say to get you to understand the reality here. Please sir, take your place at the head of the table and be the babies daddy. Please!” she said.

“No!” I said. “Get out! This is the Bradshaw residence not castle Cord; just get out, and leave me be.”

It was still early in the morning and my dad had not been in evidence. Still sleeping I supposed. But, then he wasn’t.

“Sam, Abby, I couldn’t help but hear the two of you. Sam you need to calm down, son, and Abby, you need to cut our boy some slack. No argument,” he said.

CHAPTER 17

My dad’s intervention, if that’s what it was, likely saved a situation that was already bad from becoming a major disassociation of families. He literally pushed me into the bedroom in my wheel chair, and having bidden Abigail to put together a serious breakfast, he read my crippled and disfigured ass the riot act!

“Son, even if everything the two of them do is wrong your interests and theirs are pretty much always going to be the same! You need to cut the woman some slack, and her husband too if it comes to that. Out of control bitterness serves no purpose and no good will ever come of it.

“I taught you better than to be one who wallows in self-pity. Stop it!” He said.

We talked for some time; well, he talked and I muttered, at the end of which time the woman called us in to eat.

I expect my look was morose, but nobody said anything, not immediately at any rate. But, as we took our seats at the table I looked down but in the woman’s direction. She seemed not too distressed, but—something.

“Abigail, I apologize. Okay?” I said. My dad was nodding his approval. She looked over at him.

“Thank you Aaron; I love you,” she said. My dad’s smile was a mile wide, mine, less so; well, I wasn’t actually smiling.

“And, Sam, your apology is accepted. And I think now would be a good time to say that I apologize too for all of the hurt I put on you with the divorce, my words, my tone of voice. I still love you my man, on some level I do in spite of everything. And, I know you want a larger role with the children. I will be working on that. Okay?” she said.

“Yeah sure,” I said. I don’t know how convincing I was.

******

Abby was intent on staying the day, well, a good part of it. She’d mentioned that she wanted to help me get my truck and to move it down here to Dad’s place. She’d already talked to dad about it and it was a go as far as he was concerned. He was going to help me get the hand controls for it so I would have a set of wheels that actually meant something to me.

We’d spent the rest of the morning doing not much of anything. A little talk, a little snacking, a little being uncomfortable with the evolving situation; and then we were all seated around the patio table sipping our coffee.

“So, have you already looked into getting those controls put on your truck?” she said.

“No, I didn’t even remember the truck until Owen mentioned it the other day. So no, I haven’t had a chance to do any of that yet,” I said.

“I’ll be taking care of that for him, Abigail. I have a friend who’s know about that stuff who can get it done for a good price. I’ve got it covered,” said Dad.

“Oh, okay,” she said. “If you need any help with any of that let me or Owen know. Okay?” she said. Her remarks were aimed at my dad, not at me. I thought that telling.

Then it was an hour later, and goodbyes tendered, my ex-wife and I were on the road.

******

“So you and your dad, you’ve moved in with him for now?” she said. I’d been looking out the car’s window. Now I looked over at her.

“Yes,” I said.

“Sam, I know you don’t want to hear it, but anything you or he need...” she said.

“I’ve got it covered,” I said.

“Okay,” she said. But I could tell she was a tiny bit miffed by my refusal to take anything I absolutely didn’t need to take from her or her husband. But, that said, she didn’t push it. Well, she didn’t at that particular moment.

We pulled into the longish driveway of their mini-castle and parked. We got out and headed inside.

We headed inside. And, I don’t know why but I expected Owen to be home and waiting for us. She could see I was looking around for him.

“He’s working,” she said. “And he’s out of town for the next couple of days. That’s why I’m the cab driver of record today.”

“And the children?” I said.

“They’re at the sitter’s until later today. Owen delivered them when I told him I would be staying the night at your dad’s waiting for you to come home. She, our sitter, has a couple of kids of her own and they visit and play over there sometimes. But like I promised, we’ll, you’ll, be seeing them later today. I needed to be able to drive you home in your truck. And since I’ll need a ride back, she’s going to pick me up at your dad’s place when I call her,” said Abigail.

“Oh,” I said. I felt very uncomfortable being alone in the house with her, but for her part she was doing her best to minimize things. “Okay.”

“Have a seat,” she said. “I need to change if that’s all right.” She was smiling.

“Yeah, sure, whatever you have to do,” I said.

She was gone for a good ten minutes. And then she came back. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. And—she was naked except for her high heels and a red choker. I stared, she smirked.

“I—I—I,” I said squeaking out the words.

“Don’t talk. I know you need this. And, if the truth were to be known, so do I. So, don’t question it, don’t even think of denying yourself. Just do me.” She said. Then she had a sudden thought—clearly it was all of a sudden.

“Sam, can...” she started.

“Can I get it up? Yes, and go to the pot by myself and everything. I’ve lost the use of my legs, but not of my bodily functions. I guess you could say I was real lucky,” I said. She seemed relieved.

“Sam, I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I mean, well...”

“No sweat,” I said.

There was not the slightest chance that I was going to deny myself. It had been years since my last pussy and that had been with her before I left for the war zone. I began undressing myself. I never let my gaze wonder from her while I was doing so. She watched me with interest, well, that’s how I read things.

I wheeled over to the couch and launched myself onto it. She smiled. She came to my now naked self and knelt on the floor in front of my slightly parted legs. My cock was steel hard and poking straight up in the air.

She took my penis in her hand, leaned in, and licked and sucked it slowly teasingly. I remembered how she used to do me, and I knew, or thought I knew, pretty much how long I was going to be able to last. It turned out that I was wrong. I came in a gusher in less than two or three minutes. Well, it had been forever since a woman had been with me. The bad news was I was pretty sure that this was going to be a onetime thing. My state of celibacy would be resuming as soon as we parted ways later in the day.

“Good, now you’ll maybe be able to last and do me right,” she said.

She pushed me back on the oversized couch and shifted positions. She sat on my face, and yes she was careful about doing it. “Your turn,” she said. Her pussy was over my mouth and my mouth immediately under her pussy. Nothing had ever tasted so good to me, nothing.

I could feel my cock coming back to life even as I brought her off with my mouth. She made me sit up so that she could lay herself down. She wanted me on top. I cooperated. It turned out to be relatively easy for me to position myself on top of her, but I did need some help from her to put it inside of her which she did, help me that is.

I screwed her for as long as I could. I’d come once, but I was so horny that holding back for very long was still a challenge.

“I’d gotten her off with my tongue, but couldn’t quite manage it with my dick. I could tell she wanted me to get her off again. Once again we switched position.

She sat on my face like before with my cum oozing out her. I ate her to another orgasm. This time she came hard. I was almost afraid she would break my nose or something. But, I did bring her off; and then, she laid herself along my body, and we cuddled for what seemed a long time.

“You okay?” she said. I just nodded. I don’t think that anything I would have said would have been appropriate. “Good.”

Eventually she rolled off of me and once again disappeared into the back of the house. I was able to get my clothes and redress myself while she was in back doing the same.

I should note at this point, since I so far haven’t, that basic stuff like getting dressed and bathing myself, and the rest had been a major challenge in the early days of my disability; but the Army actually had people that trained us wounded vets how to do a lot of it. And, in any event, I’d learned and I was pretty good at the basic stuff now.

She came back again in something like ten minutes and she looked positively fresh. I had finally found my voice.

“Abigail...”

“Yes, you have questions,” she said. “And yes, Sam, this is a onetime thing. Yes, I know you needed it, and I decided on the spur of the moment to do it with you. I knew you needed it real bad. And the hope is that, in spite of everything, sooner or later you will have a woman of your own to be with.”

“Abigail, I don’t know how I feel right now. But, you are absolutely right about me being desperate. And, I did have questions. You answered a couple of them all ready, but I have one more if that would be all right,” I said.

“Okay,” she said.

“Are you going to tell Owen?” I said. “I mean if it was spur of the moment...”

“Honestly, I don’t know. But probably, at some point,” she said.

“Okay. Would it be out of line for me to ask you to give me a head’s up if and when you decide to do so?” I said.

“Okay, I can do that. But, I know I can get him to a place where he will understand,” she said.

“Hmm maybe,” I said.

“Changing the subject, I have an idea,” she said. She pulled her cell, walked off into the kitchen and made a call.

“Annie’s on her way. She’s bringing the kids back and she’ll follow us over to your dad’s house from here,” she said, coming back into the room.

“Okay,” I said. I was completely flummoxed over what had just occurred this last while. I was following her orders and I had no way of countering them even if I’d decided that I’d wanted to, which I didn’t. The whole situation was weird as hell.

“Sam, there was another reason, a completely selfish reason for me doing you today,” she said.

“Abigail?” I said.

“Sam you’ve been real hard to talk to and to bring you to a place where we could all be good again. Today might not be the final answer to that problem, but I’m hoping that maybe we’ve turned a corner in that regard. Whaddya think?” she said.

“Maybe,” I said. “I still insist on being my own man. But as far as getting along? Yeah, maybe that. I sure needed what you did for me. I know it was a mercy fuck. But, I was so desperate that I didn’t care.

“A mercy fuck? Whatever that is, maybe, but it is also true that I needed a little mercy myself,” she said.

******

We were soon joined by the children and Anna Ramirez. Anna wasn’t just the children’s sometime sitter, as I discovered; she was also a close friend of Owen’s from back when they were in grade school. She and Abigail had struck up a friendship of their own over the years since she’d married the other guy. At any rate, Annie needed to do some shopping and promised to be back in a couple of hours at which time she would follow us the nineteen miles back to my dad’s place and give Abigail a ride home.

The kids came to me and gave me a hug, something they hadn’t done at the party at my dad’s house. It felt good.

During the two hours and fifteen minutes before the return of Annie from her shopping trip, Abigail and I were a couple dealing with their kids and interacting with each other domestically. It was a really nice interlude for me. The bad news was that it was only an interlude. Their other daddy, the real daddy the way I was seeing things, would be home in another day and I would be nothing but an occasional visitor once again. It hurt. The reality of that hurt a lot.

“That was nice today. I mean us being the mom and dad of the children. I know tomorrow they’ll have their real dad back, but today was nice,” I said.

“Sam...” she started. She was beginning to fully realize how things appeared to me. “Sam you are their real dad, not their only one but a real one. Please.”

“Yeah sure,” I said. Anna returned, and the two women went into the kitchen to get us some soft drinks preparatory to all of us heading over to my dad’s house.

They were talking animatedly when they came out. “The twins will be riding with Anna and you and I will pilot the truck back to your dad’s place, okay?” she said.

“Okay, you’re the boss,” I said. “I’m just following orders.” She smirked, but I think she essentially approved of my response.

******

I looked over at her in the driver’s seat. “So your man had the dents fixed,” I said.

“Yes. I asked him to do it,” she said. “It was little enough.” I nodded.

“They were small dents,” I said. “Tell him thanks for me.” She nodded.

“You gonna lighten up, you know, like we talked about earlier today?” she said. I nodded, tentatively nodded.

CHAPTER 18

Forty minutes after we set out we pulled up in front of the house. I gathered my things, and we went inside. She said she wanted to come in for a minute, but couldn’t stay. She and Anna, who had pulled up just behind us, needed to get back because of the children, but she was going to say hello to Dad before she left.

The place was quiet. Dad was nowhere to be found. Then he was, on the patio. My father, really what was actually left of my whole family, had passed.

I wheeled myself over to the body of the man, and I was actually angry. He didn’t have the right to go this way; no, he didn’t; but, he had.

She came up behind me. I was staring. It was all I could do. It was all I knew to do. I’d seen men die. I’d killed men. But this was way different. Cancer was a way different way to die, a dirty way to die.

“Sam,” she whispered, “this has to be left to me. You need to let me handle everything, sir. Please. I looked around at her. I nodded, slowly nodded.

“Okay,” I muttered. She turned and left me for the moment. I was glad for that. I needed to be alone with my daddy.

“I had to talk to Anna. She’s taking the kids for the night, and...” she started.

“Him,” I said.

“Yes,” she said. “He knows how to handle things. But anything you need, want, what all, will be the way you say.” I nodded. I had no choice; I couldn’t do it, and Jeff and the boys were back in Tucson.

******

I don’t know how he did it, he was supposed to be out of town, but he got to us very soon after Abigail had called him.

He’d been standing beside me for what had to have been an hour. He wasn’t saying anything; he was just standing there. It was all just kind of surreal.

I don’t think I’d moved more than a few feet from where I’d first seen my dad in the whole time since. I’d sort of been figuratively pacing a few feet back and forth in my chair. I’d learn later that I had been talking to myself. At the time I didn’t know I was, talking to myself that is.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Sam,” I looked around at him. He kind of motioned me to follow him off of the patio. I looked at him. I looked down at my dad, someone had covered him with a sheet. I hadn’t even noticed them doing that.

Owen, it was Owen, was leading me back into the house. There were men there, men in uniform.

“Sam, these men are here to help us with your dad. Would that be okay?” he said. I nodded. I was beginning to regain actual consciousness.

“Yes,” I said. “I understand.”

There was sudden flurry of activity. I thought it was sudden. The men in uniform were moving back and forth. I saw them take my daddy outside, out the front door. I knew what they were doing. I wished I wasn’t so ugly. I don’t know why I was thinking that; it had nothing to do with anything; it had no meaning, but then again, it did for me. I would be ugly at my daddy’s funeral. I was bawling, loudly bawling!

******

I’d been drinking. I needed to drink. It was night time. The man sat across from me now; he was drinking too. I was still sobbing, I had to.

“You feeling okay, Sam?” he said.

“He was all I had left. All,” I said.

“Sam the one thing I’m going to say here is a true thing, oh my yes it is. Sam, you have a whole family here. We all have feelings for you. No matter the past; that is the truest thing in the world,” he said.

“Sure,” I said. I don’t know how convincing I was.

“Sam, I know Abigail told you, but we will take care of everything. Just let us, okay?” he said.

“Sure,” I said. I couldn’t do it; I couldn’t do any of it. I didn’t have any money, and I was in a wheelchair, and I didn’t know anything.

“Sam, there are going to be legal matters to take care of. Would you like me to take the lead there?” he said.

“Legal matters?” I said.

“Yes, your dad’s house, insurance he might have had, other stuff,” he said.

“Oh, okay, I guess,” I said. I hadn’t thought of any of that. Dad had said he was going to help me with some car stuff, but I didn’t know what funds he was going to use. I just thought it was maybe his pay, his regular pay. But now, with what Owen had said, maybe I would have some money—and the house. I didn’t know if it was paid for or not. It was the house I’d been raised in. I was twenty-nine; so he’d had to have had the house longer than thirty years; maybe it was paid for.

******

“He okay?” she said.

“Define okay? The man’s a basket case and feeling abandoned. It is so freaking sad,” said Owen. She nodded.

“I’m glad you brought him here to stay. He needs to have people around him at least till after the funeral,” said Abigail.

“Yes, yes he does,” he said. “He gave us permission to take care of the legal stuff for him too. The house is old, but it might be free and clear. That’ll be good for him; he won’t have to be renting anymore, but he would have to move back here. I mean if he wants to live in that house.”

“He might want to sell it,” she said.

“That’s a possibility of course, but his kids are here. That might be the tipping point for him. It could also be a small problem for us. He’d have a house. He might be able to get shared custody,” he said. “I mean his handicaps might preclude that; but well, I just don’t know.”

“No, no, I don’t see that as happening. More visitation, yes obviously, but shared custody, no,” she said, “not with his limitations.”

“Hmm, maybe,” he said.

“The funeral?” She said.

“Yes, it’ll be Saturday as we discussed. And yes, I did invite that ex-sergeant friend of his as well.

“Oh and his dad already had two plots selected and paid for, for himself and for Sam too for when he passes, years down the line of course in Sam’s case.”

“Good, good,” she said. “Anyway, dinner’s in half an hour. I’ll go tell him.” The man nodded.

“Okay, good,” he said. “I’ll get the kids washed up and all.”

“You’re so domestic,” she said, and laughed playfully.

“Yes, I would have made someone a good wife I’m sure,” he said, rising to take care of the children's wash up.

******

“How are you doing, Sam,” said Abigail.

I turned to see her. I’d been gazing out the window at the expansive yard of the Cord’s castle in the city.

“Okay, I guess. It’s been a couple of days now. I’ve had a chance to get my act together. I’d like to say that I do appreciate your help and Owen’s of course. But, I could take over now if you are...” I started.

“Not a chance, big guy. This one’s on us. And we see it as an honor that you are allowing us to be involved. You’re going to have enough to handle as it is. Just let us do the lifting here.

“Then after Saturday we’ll see where we are. Okay?” she said. I nodded.

She’d said what I figured she’d say, and I nodded. “Okay, sure,” I said. “Like I say it’s appreciated. I could do it, you know if it’s a burden, but it would be kinda hard, well, right now.”

“Sam, for the last time, you are not a burden, sir, not at all. You’re family. You and I have twin daughters. Yes, daughters that Owen loves too, but that in no way diminishes your importance in their lives, nor your responsibilities either for that matter—oh damn ‘kay!” she said.

“Okay,” I said, quietly said. I was being mildly chastised, and I was powerless to do anything about it, and I sobbed some more. She placed her hand on my shoulder. I really did need to depend on the two of them for the short term. The short term being until Saturday, the day of my dad’s funeral.

******

I was sitting just across from the grave as they lowered my dad into it. I was in the middle of the front row in my chair. My bud Jeff was to my right. Abigail was on my left and Harriet her forever friend was seated beside her. Owen and the kids and a few others, friends of theirs were in the row behind me; the kids were with Owen. That kind of bothered me, but, I wasn’t the one running things, he was.

The minister that someone had seen to was saying all of the usual things, and I was sort of hearing him. Then it was over and they lowered the coffin into the grave and I just sat there. Jeff urged me to move closer to the grave; he handed me a small shovel and I lifted a small amount of soil with it and poured in on top of the coffin.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I whispered. Abigail looked down, she’d heard me.

Everyone began moving off toward the cars and the limousine I’d ridden in on the way over and would be on the way back to Casa de Cord.

******

It had been a bad day for me albeit that the ceremony, if that’s what it was, went smoothly. I had thanked the two of them for their help, and I really had appreciated it, the help. They insisted that I stay over for at least a few more days until I’d had a chance to meet with Mister Cedric Johnson, the lawyer Owen had arranged for me. Plus, as Abigail had made the point, I needed to be able to get my head together a little better than I so far had, so as to make better decisions going forward. I’d be meeting with Mister Johnson on Wednesday, four days hence.

******

“Sam, Harriet and I would like to take you to dinner Thursday night if you’d be up for it,” said Abigail. Her wing woman was smiling right beside her. Harriet had been Abby’s friend for forever. That she’d been at the funeral was not as surprising as some might have thought; she had met my daddy a few times over the years, and she was, as indicated, Abigail’s pal since they were kids.

“Dinner? Thursday?” I said. “Okay, sure I guess,” I said.

“Good,” said Abigail.

I wondered about having dinner with her and Harriet. I mean Owen was not mentioned. Had to be a reason, or maybe not. I guess we’d be seeing. That it was the day after my meeting with the lawyer didn’t seem relevant, but maybe I was just out of the loop there too. No, she if not they, had a goal in mind, and I was pretty sure I knew what it was.

******

The lawyer came to me. I’d thought we’d have been meeting at his office but no; he came to castle Cord. Well, the big man did have the bucks and influence.

“So yes, Mister Bradshaw, you do get the house, and it is free and clear though this year’s property taxes will be owed of course. There is also an insurance policy, fifty thousand dollars worth which you are also the beneficiary of,” he said.

“Thank you very much, Mister Johnson. I appreciate all you've done here and on such short notice,” I said.

“Not a problem, Mister Bradshaw. Your dad did a good job setting things up. Taxes on your inheritance will be minimal and the paperwork has already been taken care of by Mister Cord,” he said.

Something else I had to thank my cuckolder for: I wouldn’t be having to fool with the damnable paperwork; I always hated paperwork. It’s one of the reasons that I had never wanted to be involved with the insurance business, the damn paperwork. Did I still harbor bad thoughts about the man, or the woman either for that matter? I’d have to say that I did, but I was doing my best to get by the worst of them, the bad thoughts. Yes, yes I was. And why was that? Not just because I was beholding to the two of them for helping with my daddy’s final needs. No indeed. The main reason I was rethinking my animosities was because of what my daddy asked of me.

I did need to sell the house. I couldn’t live that close, nineteen miles, to the dynamic duo, not after thinking about it I couldn’t, efforts on my part to put the worst of my bad thoughts behind me notwithstanding. I knew I was likely to get a full court press from Abigail, if not Owen, to move back to Phoenix, but I just couldn’t do it. I would be getting Jeff and a few of the guys to help me get the house ready for sale, so I would be in town for a while yet regardless, but not permanently. No, that would not be happening. At any rate, I had a dinner to go to two days hence. I was not enthused.

The guest room I was occupying at castle Cord was spacious. This was a good thing since moving about in a wheelchair did demand a bit more room in order to maneuver. At the same time, being in it, the room, made me uncomfortable. It was like the two of them were showing off their riches and looking down on the peon—me. I would be moving back to my dad’s place after the dinner tomorrow night. Tomorrow night was Thursday night.

I was planning on calling Jeff in the morning before he left for work. He’d get a couple of the guys to help and we’d be doing the moving and fixing up whatever needed fixing prior to my selling the place. I figured I’d price it to go fast, so I could get out of town fast.

I would see to it that the children would get the money, whatever it turned out to be, and the money from the insurance too. On the face of it, it seemed like a paltry offering to them and their futures, but in point of fact it really wasn’t. It was just paltry when compared to my rich ex-wife’s resources. At any rate it was the best I could do. It really was as the saying went, the thought that counted; well, it was as far as I was concerned. I might never have my place as their daddy in any serious sense of the term, but in my mind I would and that was the best that I could do. Daddy had told me to take what I could get and to stop living in misery and depression. I was going to try; I really was going to try.

******