When getting smutty in the literature
the Victorians had the right idea
in keeping core principles simple;
no need to conjure a headache, just put down
a pink slit and move on to the gent,
a quick prick penning working as good
as any; scribble in the bushy thatches
and then get those petticoats out of the way
for grapples lusty and the dance of the lance,
and someone's bottom better be burning
in passion, stoking motions sure to spur
gasp and grunt and gushes of hot white spurts.