CHAPTER 11:  First Confrontation

About three o’clock the next morning, Naamah appeared with her usual whoosh. As before, the sound awakened Luca, and he followed the sound downstairs.

“What are you doing here?” Asked Luca.

“Strick’ly business, Mr Mana Man. A deal’s a deal,” replied Naamah. “You get eons in the Eternal Orgy, I get mana. I’m here to harvest round one of my end of the bargain.”

“That isn’t suicide,” Luca said. "Whatever you want to say about it, suicide is voluntary. You are describing my murder! This is betrayal!”

“Call it what you will. You made a bargain. You still have your mana. I get to take your mana. In exchange, you will be happy forever, whether you like it or not. Now come with me.”

Luca walked with Naamah to the living room. He was nervous about the confrontation with her that was about to take place. Naamah began to undress for her mana harvest.

Suddenly there was an explosion of thunder, and smoke filled the living room. When the smoke cleared, a short man wearing a tuxedo stood in the room.

“Lilu! What are you doing here?” Naamah barked at him.

“The word around the Orgy is that you got a good one,” Lilu said. “He must have plenty of mana to go around. How about you share some of that?”

“How about you go back to that corporate office where you came from?”

“Now, Naamah, is that any way to treat a fellow denizen of the Otherworld?

“I found him,” Naamah said. “I spent my own time scouting him out. It took years. He’s mine.”

“Is that any way to share? I am willing to share what I’ve got with you.” From under the back vent of his tuxedo, he showed his tail. At the base of the scepter, the large testicle pulsed a deep red.

“Lilu, no.”

“It’s all in the spirit of sharing, my dear.” He waved his scepter in front of her face. “A manly aroma, not so? Eisheth liked it the other day. In fact, she begged for it and enjoyed it quite a bit.”

“Lilu, please. He’s mine.”

“Naamah, take off the rest of your bodysuit.”

“Lilu, I trained you! You did not know anything when you were created.”

“Do it, already.”

Naamah did not take her eyes off the scepter. Without a word, she undressed completely. Luca had never seen subservient behavior in Naamah before. “Naamah, no!” Luca said.

“Back off, stranger,” Lilu said to Luca. “Get on the floor,” said Lilu to Naamah. She got on the floor.

“Spread your legs.” She spread her legs.

“Tell me how badly you want my scepter.”

Naamah’s voice became a robotic monotone. “I want your scepter more than eternal life itself.” Luca winced at her servility.

“And?” said Lilu.

Naamah squirmed. But she was silent.

More forcefully, Lilu said, “And?”

Naamah was uncomfortable, but remained silent.

“And you want to give your load of mana to me, don’t you?”

At this, Luca stepped to Lilu. “Maybe she doesn’t, pal,” Luca said.

“What? Who are you? Are you the new pile of mana?”

“Yeah, like that. Buddy, get lost.” Luca said, “I’m standing between you and Naamah.”

“And? So what’s your point?” Lilu said.

Luca paused, suddenly uncertain whether the strategy designed for a succubus would work on an incubus. “I am a vegan.”

Lilu smiled. “A what?”

“A vegan.”

“So you’re going to defeat me by being insufferable?”

“No,” said Luca. “But I plan to stay pure of heart and mind.”

Lilu nearly doubled over laughing. “Right, pal.” He touched Luca on the shoulder. “Feel that? Being a vegan didn’t stop me, did it? Well, I am going to come back with my mates tomorrow. They can watch while I pull your stupid arms right out of their stupid sockets.

“By the way, pal, when I kill a mortal, they die. For real. None of this ‘you-get-to-fuck-forever’ nonsense. You don’t even go to Hell. You just disappear.

“See you tomorrow night, asshole.” Lilu laughed. With a clap of thunder and a cloud of smoke, he was gone.

CHAPTER 12: What Were You Thinking?

Luca sat on the floor next to Naamah. “Are you alright?” He asked.

Naamah came out groggily from under Lilu’s spell. After a few moments, she could finally speak. “Yeah, I’m alright. Luca, Lilu is an incubus. He is near the top of his hierarchy. He can squash you like a bug. What were you thinking?”

“Naamah, you know that whole vegan thing a moment ago?”

“I had a front-row seat.”

“That was intended to ward you off.”

“Me?” she protested. “But I want to kill you and watch you live forever in sexual ecstasy.”

“Naamah, I really don’t feel like dying, even for a fantastic reward like that. I am hoping to persuade you to forget this whole death thing and to stay in my world.”

“Ain’t gonna happen, babe.” Naamah took his arm and laid her head on his shoulder. “I am a succubus. By the grace of the Big Guy, I always will be.”

She looked up at him. “Luca, do all mortal men defend mortal women that way? Like you just tried for me, I mean.”

“Well,” he replied, “the men are supposed to. A lot of guys do, but some guys don’t. Why do you ask?”

“I’m immortal. I’ve never been defended before. The idea of a mortal man defending me is hard to understand.

“Luca, you didn’t have to stand up to Lilu. But you did. And for doing that, this humorless, clueless, loveless harpy thanks you.” Naamah kissed his shoulder.

“By the way, how long have you been vegan?” Naamah asked.

“About six or seven hours,” Luca replied.

“Mr. Celery, next time, give it six or seven years. The vegan thing will indeed work against an incubus, but six hours wasn’t going to do the job.”

Naamah put her bodysuit back on. Luca got up and walked toward the kitchen. At the doorway, he stopped, folded his arms, put on his best set of bedroom eyes, looked straight at Naamah, and leaned back against the door frame.

Luca missed the door frame and fell backward onto a soft rug. Naamah only saw his leg go up in the air. She burst out laughing and rushed to his side. “Whatever were you thinking this time?”

‘“I want you to be my girl.”

“Oh, Luca, I was created. I have never been a girl. Do you know how old I am?” Naamah asked.

“Well, no.”

“I was feeding grass to a stegosaurus when that asteroid hit the Yucatan Peninsula sixty-five million years ago. I look like I am twenty-five or thirty mortal years old. I always have. But you and I as a pair would not work in this mortal world.”

Luca noticed Naamah had left the front of her bodysuit open to halfway down her torso. He smiled to himself.

CHAPTER 13: The Battle of the Salt Line

“Luca, do you want to rid Lilu from your life?”

“Of course I do.”

“Use salt. As I’ve said, Otherworlders hate the stuff.”

The sun rose. Luca waited until the stores opened. While he was out, he stopped by the post office and mailed the Pinocchio cartoons. Many times Luca checked that the sketches describing his funeral were not among those sent. Home Storehouse had rock salt, and Luca returned home with four twenty-kg bags.

Luca got some sleep during the day. Naamah showed up around midnight.

“What are you doing here so soon?” Luca asked.

“I want no more of Lilu’s spells. But you and I have an agreement. I still want your mana, and so I am protecting you, Mr Mana Man, until you are swimming in the Eternal Orgy.”

“So my murder is still part of the deal,” Luca said.

“Look, you,” she said angrily, “I am going to be the Big Girl. You are not going to stand in my way. I am not stealing. I am bargaining. You have been lonely since you were twelve.”

“Go to hell.”

“Sensitive, are we? Look, once you have transitioned, you will never be lonely again. To end your loneliness, you made a deal. I am just insisting that you keep your promises.”

“I haven’t got time to argue with you,” Luca said. “My immediate problem is Lilu. I bought a lot of salt this morning. Now what?”

Following Naamah’s instructions, Luca made a salt line, which was a circle of salt only a few cm high around his living room. The completed line took three of the four bags. Naamah walked around inside the line three times, looking for gaps. She found none. Luca and Naamah sat on the sofa and waited.

During the wee hours of the morning, a thunder clap announced the entrance of Lilu.“Okay, pal, time’s up.” Lilu realized immediately that he was facing a salt line. “Oh! You put in a line! Isn’t that cute?”

With Lilu were five demon friends — two green and two red ones which were otherwise physically identical, and a fifth larger. Lilu sent one of the green demons on a patrol of the salt line. Two circuits showed no gaps.

“I will get you, and I will take away your girlfriend,” Lilu growled to Luca. “Fuck your salt line!” He turned to the other of his smaller green companions. ”Get rid of this crap!” Lilu said.

Carefully, the demon picked up the edge of a throw rug that the salt line crossed. He shook the throw rug.

The salt spilled all over, leaving a flattened area half a meter wide, where the line had been only a few cm wide before. So shaking the rug would not work.

“I’m not done with you two yet.” Lilu turned again to his entourage. “Does this guy have a watchamacallit, a vacuum thing? Where would he keep it?” The two green demons began rummaging through Luca’s kitchen cabinets, the pantry, and the linen closets.

“Hey, you guys! Stop!” Luca shouted.

“Okay, pal,” Lilu said, “You come out from behind your stupid little salt line, and when we find your vacuum, you can have it back.” Naamah seized Luca’s arm. Luca stayed put.

One demon found the vacuum cleaner. “Goodbye, punk,” Lilu said to Luca. Then, to no one in particular, Lilu said, “How do you work this thing?” He turned the machine upside down and looked down the vacuum intake nozzle. Finally, he plugged in the vacuum and found the on/off switch.

He ran the vacuum across the salt line. When Lilu had vacuumed enough salt to allow him safe entry into the circle, he walked into the now-unprotected area and grabbed Luca’s arm near the shoulder. Luca shouted, ”No! No!”

Naamah saw all this. She leaned over the salt line. Her eyes watered immediately.

“Naamah! Don’t hurt yourself!” Luca said. “I’m just going to disappear. I was stupid.”

She rubbed the tears from her eyes with her hands, which were covered by her bodysuit. Naamah leaned over the salt line a second time, as an ocean of water spilled from her eyes.

“Naamah! Stop!” Luca yelled, struggling under Lilu’s grip.

Naamah rubbed her eyes again with her gloves. The gloves were soaking wet. Naamah plunged both her fists into the salt line.

“Goodbye forever, my love,” said Luca.

“Not yet!” Naamah yelled. She smashed Lilu in the face with her gloved and salted fist as hard as she could. Lilu cried out and let go of Luca. Using his tuxedo’s pocket square, he held his cheek and mouth. His clear, watery blood was falling all around him. Naamah hit Lilu in the face again, and he fell to the floor.

Two red demons moved next to the larger one, who backed away from the fighting. The two green demons fought back for Lilu. One fighter gathered up salt from the line by moving it onto a rag with another rag. He ran behind Naamah and dumped the salt over her neck and back. Naamah screamed and fell to her knees.

Lilu, still on the floor, saw his chance. “Alright, so die,” he yelled, thrusting his hand toward Luca. Luca’s left hand began to dematerialize. The tips of his fingers looked like a million tiny bubbles, which burst and vanished as the bubble effect spread toward his wrist. If this process continued, Luca believed the threat that both his body and soul would vanish together never to be seen again.

“Naamah, help!” Luca cried out. Naamah turned. By now the bubble effect had dissolved his lower arm below the elbow. Immediately Naamah dipped her nuptial rose into the salt line and picked up about a fistful of salt. She grabbed Lilu by his arm and held her rose to his face. “My nuptial rose accepts salt,” she said. “It is less sensitive than the rest of me. Wanna see how sensitive the rest of your face is?”

“No!” Shouted Lilu.

“Then stop dematerializing my boyfriend. Now!”

The bubble effect stopped advancing. Luca was left with one complete right arm and one stump that ended above his left elbow.

The green demons’ attack on Naamah continued. “Okay, cutie, you’re done,” said a green demon, who was wearing gloves. He jumped onto her shoulders with a large bag of salt. “Luca!” Naamah yelled.

Luca used his good arm to dump the contents of the vacuum cleaner bag, which by now contained a lot of salt, over the demon standing on Naamah’s shoulders. The demon cried out in pain, and then the salt fell onto Naamah, who screamed as the spill raised welts on her skin. The second green demon saw what happened and ran for cover into the kitchen.

Luca used his good hand to grab Naamah’s arm. “To the shower!” He yelled. Luca walked quickly, and Naamah stumbled behind. Luca turned the shower dial to warm, waited a moment for the water to heat, and walked into the shower fully clothed. He dragged Naamah in behind him.

The salt irritating the back of Naamah’s neck had run down her back in two or three streams. “The bodysuit has to go,” said Luca. With his one hand, he clumsily pulled her bodysuit down to her feet, and she stepped out of it. Angry streaks of red lined her back and legs.

As the water rinsed her neck and back, her features relaxed. Finally, she could smile. She put her arms around Luca’s neck and kissed him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she said. Before he could say, "You’re welcome," she said, “Take off those wet clothes.”

Luca tried to unbutton his shirt using one hand. “Slowpoke,” she said, smiling. She muttered something. Luca’s clothes disappeared and reappeared, folded and dry, on the bathroom counter. Millions of tiny bubbles began rebuilding his missing arm.

“I am being rebubbled!” He exclaimed. “And the word ‘rebubbled’ could be at the center of a great cartoon.”

“Yeah, it’s got possibilities,” she said.

“And you, Naamah, are my beautiful rebubbler!”

She smiled at the nonsense word. “Definite possibilities,” she said.

“You know,” he continued, “A hot shower can lower a man’s sperm production. I’ll give you all the mana I have, but after the shower, there will be less.”

Her eyes began to tear up. There was no salt in sight.

“Naamah,” Luca said, “are you crying?”

“I don’t want the mana,” she replied. “I want you. Oh, I’m in love with a mortal. A mortal! I never thought this would happen. There was that African fisherman about eight hundred years ago, but nothing like this.”

Luca held her close, with both arms. For a moment, he was jealous of an African fisherman from centuries ago, but then he thought better of it. He kissed Naamah. His penis rose. She reached down with her nuptial rose and squeezed him.

”I take it the squeeze means that you are not going to murder me,” Luca said.

“No murder, Mr Mana Man. But I might give you la petite mort a thousand times.”

“La what?” Luca replied.

“La petite mort is French slang for ‘orgasm,’” she explained. “It means ‘the little death.’ One of Louis XIV’s mistresses taught me that one.”

“Each of those thousand times,” said Luca, smiling, “I will look forward to dying just a little bit.”

The larger demon showed up at the shower, carrying one of the smaller red ones. “‘Scuse me. Need the shower. Accident here. Defender stepped in the salt.” The red demon grimaced until he sat on the shower floor and let the water rinse his feet.

“I hear a shower. The face needs a good rinse.” It was Lilu, still holding his pocket square to his face, but without his tuxedo jacket and tie. He looked at Luca. “Okay, pal, outta the way. Back off your girlfriend. I’m hurtin’ here.” Lilu tried to ignore Naamah.

Naamah was having none of it. She waved her rose in front of her and took a step toward Lilu. “You want to hurt worse, punk? You want a mouthful of salt?” Lilu, startled, backed off.

“You,” Naamah continued, pointing at the larger demon, “You’re the biggest. My rose can still hold salt. We’ll start with you and work our way down to Lilu.”

“I am the Big Guy. You don’t touch me,” the larger demon replied. Naamah was stunned. Despite thousands of welcomes, Naamah had never actually seen the Big Guy. His voice had been familiar for millennia, without an actual meeting. She lowered her rose.

Lilu saw his chance. He lunged at Naamah and grabbed her arm. He began trying to pull her arm out of its socket.

“No,” said Luca. Luca poured the salt from the unused bag over Lilu, whose awful scream rattled the windows. Lilu let go of Naamah’s arm. Lilu tried to head for the shower, but Luca blocked him. As his last chance, Lilu turned and made for the kitchen sink. This time, Luca tackled him. “Look pal, just leave and don’t come back,” Luca told him.

“Okay, okay, okay!” Lilu said tearfully. “Just let me get back to the Otherworld’s waterfall.”

“Get out,” said Luca. Lilu vanished soundlessly. Lilu was gone!

Luca returned to the shower, and the Big Guy spoke up. “That jerkwad brought me here to watch the fireworks. He wanted to beat up some mortal he said had crossed him. Lilu is only some loser who was showing off in front of the boss. Please accept my apology.”

“Accepted,” said Luca and Naamah together, both smiling. The Big Guy vanished with his two defenders.

Naamah thrust her fist into the air. “My body is mine,” she shouted triumphantly.

Naamah looked at Luca. “And you are mine, and I am yours.” Softly she said, “Never in all my past eons has a living mortal man shown me such love.”

CHAPTER 14: Attaining Royalty

Back in the Otherworld, Eisheth followed up on the Big Guy’s offer of a session with his knee-length cock. She had to take all ten of the palace guards before they let her sit by the door to the Big Guy’s bedroom, but it was worth it.

Eisheth daydreamed of becoming Lilu’s queen over the Eternal Orgy. Once she was queen, she could have any man she wanted, and, just as nice, any man could have her. Once she was queen, she would pass around new sexual powers so strong that, together, they would shake walls even in the mortal world.

The Big Guy suddenly stormed past Eisheth and quickly strode through the bedroom door. His fury knocked Eisheth out of her reveries. He stomped across the bedroom to the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the Otherworld. “Jerkwad!” he said. “That was embarrassing.”

The Big Guy sensed Eisheth’s presence. He turned. “Who are you? What are you doing here?” He asked.

She replied, “I’m Eisheth.”

“Are you the girl from a few days ago who wanted to give that mortal guy a cock down to his knees?”

“That’s me.” She said brightly.

The Big Guy said, “Okay, tootsie, you and me. Between my legs, I’ve got what you want.”

He opened his robe, which revealed his penis — a sheathed organ that hung below his knees.

Eisheth gasped. “It’s beautiful,” she said. “I have heard of a man hung like a horse, but I never thought I’d see it! C’mere, Daddy. Let Mama pamper you.”

He lay back on the bed. She took the organ in her hands and kissed it at the base. It began to stir. She ran her tongue along its length. His cock grew to its full length. “Feelin’ good, honey? Mama’s going to make you forget all about that awful embarrassment.”

Eisheth swung her leg over his face. She faced his torso and legs. “I will now be the director in charge of Daddy’s tumescence.” She settled on rubbing the tip, and his erection soon returned.

“I want you now,” he said. She stood up so he could enter her, then she eased herself down the long shaft. She moved herself up and down and saw the look of ecstasy on his face. After a few minutes, she felt it was time to send him into paradise, and she moved more rapidly. When he came, she felt his warmth engulf her insides. She saw his face contort.

Eisheth’s own orgasm nearly made her faint. ”That was very, very nice,” she said.

When they had finished, the Big Guy said he felt like talking. “Babe, do you know what today is?” She said no. "Today, it is two eons and two years since my creation,” he said. “Imagine that. As you could tell from my performance just now, I still can do what is necessary to make women happy. And I can still make effective policy on stuff unrelated to sex.

“But the hassles!” He held his forehead. “The new kids— the Lilus— have only made things worse, and I can’t stand that smartass character that we’ve got in the office now. The first eon in the office was fine, then everything started going downhill.”

“What a drag,” said Eisheth.

“It used to be… Eisheth, do you really want to listen to some old man ramble on about the good old days?”

“You’re fine. I’m listening.”

“It used to be that when I broadcast, ‘Who’s up for an orgy?’ at least 500,000 hands would go up. Now I’m lucky if I get 5,000. Only five thousand people at an orgy. Imagine!”

“How about Queen Linda? Can she help?”

“Naw. Linda is interested in servicing individual men fairly frequently, but she has never enjoyed the orgies.”

“Did she say why? ‘Cuz I just love’em!”

“No, she hasn’t. And yes, I could tell that you love a good orgy. Humph. Maybe you should be queen.”

What ‘maybe’? Eisheth thought. Just say the word.

“I’ll tell you how bad it’s gotten. At the last orgy, some guy was reading a newspaper. I think he smuggled in the college paper from where he was attending when he left his mortal life.”

“If I ruled the Eternal Orgy, I would have three beautiful women help this man forget all about the mortal doings at his alma mater. Can Linda do that?”

“She’s got the smarts, she’s got the face, and she’s got the figure, but she’s not interested.”

“Orgy issues can involve the women, too,” the Big Guy continued. “We recruited a very pretty woman who had been a kindergarten teacher in the mortal world. Once she got here, she started telling the orgiasts to stand in line, wait their turn, and share.” Eisheth laughed.

“It sounds funny now,” said the Big Guy, “but her mother hen behavior annoyed those in the throes of an orgy.”

Eisheth replied, “Just wait until she gets sexual superpowers. She won’t wait in line for anything. She’ll dive right in.”

“Superpowers, hmm? There’s an idea. Maybe you should be the queen.”

Oh, come on, thought Eisheth, just finish this up already.

“Let’s talk about that. How would you feel about becoming Queen of the Eternal Orgy?”

Eisheth’s genitalia were dripping wet in anticipation of the new appointment. “Oh, I suppose I could think about it,” she replied.

“You obviously can lead an orgy,” the Big Guy continued. “You could have a Prince Consort. He can be anybody you want. You two would be the Monarchs of the Eternal Orgy.

“And,” he sighed, “I can resign and become plain old George once again. What a relief. What do you say?”

“Uh, well, I say uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, yes,” Eisheth said softly, while having an orgasm.

“Great! We’re going to have to have sex a few more times to confirm the royal transfer of power.” Following the fourth and final coronation fuck, the Big Guy pulled out of Eisheth and said, “I honor you, Eisheth, Queen of the Eternal Orgy!” He shook her hand and placed the coronation news into the Orgy’s ravenous rumor mill.

George was not yet done with his embarrassing situation. “Ever heard of the incubus Lilu before?” he asked Queen Eisheth.

Queen Eisheth recalled the former Big Guy’s hostile comments against Lilu, her boyfriend, lover, and partner. “No,” she lied, “I’ve never heard of him.”

“Good. I’ve got a favor to ask. Keep it quiet that I was involved.”

“Name the favor,” the queen replied, smiling and thinking of Lilu.

CHAPTER 15: The Boyfriend Consort

Lilu was reassigned to the position of Assistant Barkeep at the Sippin’ Satyr. He swore vengeance over the new assignment.

The royal staff had picked the venue for Queen Eisheth’s coronation orgy. They picked a favorite local watering hole, the Sippin’ Satyr.

Once she saw the party venue, Queen Eisheth was reluctant to enter. Lilu was in line to greet the partygoers. The queen winked at Lilu, but he was one angry incubus, and the communication was lost on him. After some uneasy pleasantries, Lilu asked Queen Eisheth to talk. The queen agreed, seeing a chance to explain things.

“Your Highness,” Lilu said, “I realize that the former commoner, Eisheth, is now Queen Eisheth, Ruler over the Eternal Orgy. I respect your new position.” He paused and raised his voice, “But all that doesn’t mean that you are not a lying sack of dirt! And your sister and friends, too.”

“Now, now, my agitated subject,” Eisheth replied, “I was once merely the commoner Eisheth, but I am now Queen Eisheth. Do tone it down a bit.”

“Tone it down?” Lilu yelled. “You were supposed to harvest Luca’s mana and pass it on to me. Instead, you take up with the big guy, become queen, reassign me to assistant barkeep, and I’m supposed to stay calm?”

“Lilu, you attempted two murders— my sister and her boyfriend. You didn’t actually kill anybody, and that is the only reason I could find you a job. Be glad for what you got.”

“And your sister and her boyfriend handed my head to me twice. If you had gotten Luca’s mana that first time, like you were supposed to, I would not have had to chase him down later. Instead, you lied to me and said you forgot his mana ‘in the heat of the moment’ or some such bullshit. Because of your nonsense, I tried to put Naamah under my spell. This whole rigamarole happened because of your incessant lying.”

Eisheth decided to make her disclosures before this disagreement went any further. “The Big Guy said that as queen,” Queen Eisheth said, “I could have a prince consort. He also said the prince could be anyone I wanted.” Queen Eisheth looked straight at Lilu. “Anyone,” she repeated.

Lilu looked back at her. He said nothing. He raised one eyebrow.

“Interested?” she said.

“Maybe. Tell me more,” he replied.

“I am the queen. You will be my companion. In the mortal world, the queen and the consort are married. But we are going to be the royal girl and her boyfriend.”

“The royal girl’s boyfriend?” Lilu said. “I could handle that.”

“Now let’s discuss some preconditions.”

“What? Preconditions?”

“First,” Eisheth said, “you’re going to be Otherworld royalty, which means you will be empowered to make mana and gather it from other guys.”

“Yeah, and?”

“All the mana you produce, as well as all the stuff you gather, belongs to me.”

“Oh, alright,” Lilu replied grumpily.

“Second, give up any silly dreams of vengeance against Naamah, Luca, and George.”

“What? That’s different. That’s an outrage. Vengeance is mine.”

“No, it’s not.” She replied. “Anyway, no agreement, no prince consort. I’ll have everybody’s back, so there’s no chance of you carrying out your nonsensical vengeance, anyway. Finally, all the mana that you would ever need to be the Big Guy will belong to me; you will never leap over me to sit in the top spot.

“So, c’mon. It’ll be fun. Two immortal beings, one perpetual sex party. What’s not to love?”

“You and I will fuck every day?” He asked.

“Every day, lover, without fail.”

“Forever?” He continued.

She breathed the word into his ear. “For-ev-errr.”

“What else do I get?”

“Oh, for the love of the Big Guy! You get all the fish you can eat, every Wednesday.” She said sarcastically. “You get me every day. What more do you want?”

“That you stop lying and promise that you will never lie again. Not to me, not to anyone else.”

“Uh, like, for a couple of weeks?” she said.

“Forever.”

“How about if I don’t lie just to you? Everyone else stays fair game.”

“No.” He replied. “I realize that I am not the most honest guy in either the Mortal World or here. However, that fact didn't make the experience with you any less painful. Anyway, if you can’t make the commitment and follow through, then I would rather remain as a commoner of the Otherworld.”

“Well, you drive a hard bargain. But I guess I owe you something for the lies. ” Eisheth said. “Moreover, you’re kind of cute, so okay.” Lilu winced at the word “cute.”

“What?” Queen Eisheth said. “Oh. I’m sorry. I meant to say you’re handsome. Charismatic, too. And so young.”

Lilu smiled at all of this.

“And to make everything just right, I’ll make you taller, too.” With a few magic words, the pint-sized Lilu grew slightly taller than Queen Eisheth.

“Oh, yeah!” Lilu exclaimed. “Height at last.”

Queen Eisheth said, “We can seal our deal right here.” Eisheth looked around at the crowded bar. The coronation orgy was already underway. “Boyfriend,” she whispered, “it’s always been my dream to suck off a tall, handsome assistant barkeep.“

“Oh, right!” He was smiling. “Talk about a howler!”

“That was the last one, boyfriend. I promise. Now unzip.”

CHAPTER 16: Transformations

Eisheth and Naamah sat on Luca’s living room sofa. Through her body language, Naamah made it clear that she wanted to be just about anywhere but in her lying sister's presence. Eisheth said, “Naamah, even if you hate me, please listen. There has been an earthquake in my life. I have promised, and I will never again lie.”

Naamah replied skeptically. “What? ’Earthquake’ is scarcely the word. You will never lie again? You.? My dear sister Eisheth, who wouldn’t know the truth if it bit her on the nose? This is like hearing that the Eternal Orgy is shutting down and will become a parking lot.”

Queen Eisheth told Naamah the story of Lilu as an assistant barkeep. She also took the opportunity to review and confess to past statements where she had departed from reality; this effort took quite a while.

“And the Big Guy has made me the queen. I am now Queen Eisheth, ruler over the Eternal Orgy.” Naamah was still nonplussed by the news of Eisheth as a truthteller, and hardly reacted to the news of Eisheth as royalty. But Queen Eisheth was excited, and told Naamah anyway the story of the Big Guy in his palace bedroom.

“You have wanted to be a full succubus almost from the moment of our creation,” Naamah said. “What happened to that?”

“I figure one thing at a time. Being queen is going to take some getting used to.”

“How about yourself?” Asked Queen Eisheth. “By now, I was expecting you to be the prime candidate for Big Girl.”

“Eisheth, make me mortal.”

“Uh, what? Say that again.”

“Make me mortal. I have met a wonderful man.”

“Naamah, get real. How old are we?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A couple of eons, maybe.”

“And how old is the Eternal Orgy?”

“The Big Guy started the Orgy about the same time that he created you and me.”

“Naamah, over the eons, you’ve seduced a thousand kings. You’re going to walk away from all that?”

“Around my guy, I am real. He makes me laugh and cry.”

“That’s it?” Eisheth said. “You would give up the pleasures of the Eternal Orgy for a good punch line and a good cry? C’mon, sister dear! As a succubus, you can laugh all you want, and you never have to cry.

“I will get this silly notion out of your head,” Queen Eisheth continued. “I want you to meet Victor Hugo. During his lifetime, Victor Hugo had a lot of women. Maybe thousands. Now Victor walks about the Eternal Orgy and makes all the ladies happy."

"Why should I want to talk to a guy who can't keep it in his pants?” Naamah replied.

“Naamah, what do you care even if Victor had a different mistress every ninety seconds of his adult life? You’ve had, what is it—three hundred thousand men over the eons?”

“Four hundred thousand and twelve,” said Naamah.

“Right. So what do you care?”

“Mortals who pair off are supposed to be faithful to each other.”

Eisheth rolled her eyes. “Victor Marie Hugo,” she offered.

“No, Victor wasn’t faithful. What of it? That’s his problem,” Naamah replied. “Staying with one person is what I want for Luca and me.”

“One person? One!” Eisheth exclaimed. “ Not four hundred thousand. Exactly one. What? Have you gone crazy?”

“Eisheth, Luca treats me well. Among all those thousands of men, he is the only one who can smile at me and make me feel I am something more than a ticket to the Eternal Role in the Hay.”

Queen Eisheth replied, “Sister, I have never met a guy like that. I hope I never do. Ruler over the Eternal Role in the Hay is everything that I am. Boyfriend Consort Lilu and I do our lovin’ every day, but all that I am is the Ruler over the Eternal Role in the Hay.”

“Luca is my guy, Eisheth.”

“Okay, sister. I see that you are set in your decision, although I don’t understand why any succubus would want it. I will miss you. Here you go.”

The mortality procedure took about a minute. Naamah’s tail separated painlessly from her body, then hung in the air as it slowly disappeared, beginning at the base, then down to the nuptial rose. At the rose, the disappearance stopped. There was only the nuptial rose, hanging in midair in front of Naamah.

“Dear sister,” said Queen Eisheth, “this is it. It’s decision time. Say yes, and the rose rolls up and disappears. You become mortal, and your clock begins to run. Say no, and your tail returns; you stay and join me forever as I preside over the Eternal Orgy. What’s it going to be?”

The kitchen door opened and closed. “Naamah?” It was Luca’s voice from the kitchen. “Hey, beautiful, you here?”

“Yes,” Naamah told Eisheth, “And that was an easy one.”

Queen Eisheth sighed and looked at the nuptial rose. The rose rolled into a small cylinder and vanished.

Naamah was mortal!

“I rule the Orgy.” Queen Eisheth proclaimed, “I have big plans. You, my wayward sister, are going to miss all of them. When I am done, everyone in the Otherworld will have sexual superpowers!”

“Then no one will,” said Naamah softly.

Queen Eisheth fell silent. She was silent for a long time. She finally said, “So what?”

“So in the Otherworld, everybody will be the same,” Naamah replied. “Everyone will lose the characteristics that made them distinctive in mortal life. These things will be overwhelmed by the superpowers. The once-raucous Eternal Orgy will become a single, solid gray mass.”

“Well, that is certainly boring talk. Sister dear, that’s all. Good-bye and toodle-oo.”

“Eisheth, wait,” Naamah said. “I want to give Luca a special gift, to celebrate us. I’m mortal now, but can you help?”

“Naamah, I know just the thing for a healthy mortal man. You can decide when to give it to him.”

Luca came into the living room. He noticed immediately that Naamah had no tail. “A-Are you mortal now?” He asked. Naamah said yes. “For me?” Naamah said yes again. Luca smiled from ear to ear. “I am so charmed,” he said. They kissed.

Queen Eisheth said, “My dear sister, I love you. Best of luck to you and Luca.” With a wave of her hand and a deep bow to Naamah and Luca, Queen Eisheth vanished into her Otherworld kingdom. The last word that Luca and Naamah heard from Queen Eisheth was a question—“a solid, gray ma—?”

The doorbell rang.

CHAPTER 17: Another Timely Visit

Luca checked the app on his phone. Kate was at the door. Luca hurried to let her in.

“Well,” said Kate somberly, “I’m happy to see you’re still with us.”

“Kate,” Luca said, “There is someone I want you to meet.” Naamah stood in the kitchen. “My girlfriend, Naamah.”

“A girlfriend? You? I’m going to ask again, just to be sure: A what?”

“And the answers are yes, she is a girlfriend; yes, even me, your bachelor brother, thank you very much; and the answer to ‘what’ is, ‘a girlfriend of my very own.’”

“Oh, Luca,” Kate said, “that’s wonderful news!” She gave him a big hug.

“Naamah,” Kate asked, “do you work? What do you do?”

Naamah had to think for a moment. What could she possibly say? “Well, Kate, I was a succubus for a couple of eons. Then I decided to become mortal because I fell in love with your brother, and I told him I loved him last night when we were both naked in the shower after fighting off demons.” Well, no, that story wasn’t going to fly.

“I am a sex counselor,” Naamah replied after a few moments.

“Oh, my,” said Kate, who began to tease her brother. “Do you even know what sex is, Luca? Sex is when two people, like, totally do it. If the two people are a man and a woman, then they might make a baby."

“You know, Katy,” said Luca, “you can be replaced by a large pile of snark.”

“That’s why you love me, isn’t it?” Kate said. “Now I will leave you to Sex Ed 101. Naamah, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Luca, I hope you pass with flying colors.”

Kate left with a smile on her face and a bounce in her step.

CHAPTER 18: Pinocchio Crosses the Road

Naamah and Luca sat together on the living room sofa. “During this mortal life,” Luca said, “I will try my best to make you happy. But here goes: in bed, I’m not as experienced as you are.”

“Honey, there is no way that any mortal man is as experienced as I am. While I was a succubus, I had four hundred thousand and twelve men.”

“Holy mackerel, Naamah!”

“And you are the last. You are my Mr Four Hundred Thousand and Thirteen.” She kissed him on the cheek. “And here is my partnership gift to you.” Naamah began to undress. As she removed the top of her bodysuit, it seemed to Luca that her breasts had grown.

“97 cm,” said Naamah. ”D cup. I asked Eisheth for them.”

“Those are quite nice,” Luca said. “They’re big enough to be attractive, but not so big that they become cartoony. But why did you bother with a new body if you knew I would love you no matter what?”

“Well, I got to kind of like you,” she replied.

“When did this start?”

“When Mr. Bedroom Eyes missed the door frame,” Naamah said, smiling.

“How did that make you like me? I felt like an idiot.”

“You fool. You made me laugh,” Naamah replied. “It was the impossible contrast between what you were trying to do and what actually happened.”

Naamah understands humor! Luca thought. He had to smile.

“Two nights in a row,” Naamah continued, “you stood up to Lilu. You did not have to do that. If you truly wanted to get rid of me that first night, all you had to do was nothing. Lilu and his spells would have done the dirty work for you. But you were there for me.

“Then you bought the rock salt, and you used it to make a salt line, which I could never do. Then you wielded the mighty vacuum cleaner bag during our battle, when you almost lost your mortal life. And you dragged me to the shower when I was in pain.

“After all that, I figured I’d have Eisheth make something nice for you when our big moment arrived. And our big moment is right now. Right. Now. It’s time to start your sex counseling, lover.”

“No joke, no mana.”

“What?”

“Naamah, I love you dearly. And you’ve made great progress. But I meant what I said in my studio that I want to hear a good joke.”

Luca could almost see wheels turning inside her head. Finally Naamah said, “Okay, I’ve got one. Ready?”

“Go.”

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Hmm.” He said, suspicious of the punchline. “Okay, why?”

“So she could turn into a woman, give you a handjob, and make you cum until your brain turns to mush.”

“Hmm.” He said, his suspicions confirmed. “The writer was trying too hard.”

Naamah objected. “But a real chicken couldn’t do any of that! I put long hours into thinking about how to make it funny.“

“How about a caption for Pinocchio?”

She sighed. “Men! Okay, here goes. The picture stays basically the same — Pinocchio, his nose, and some guy. In the caption, Pinocchio says, ‘I really don’t mind the length. My wife can use it like a dildo. Last night, she had an orgasm on my nose!'”

It took a moment for the joke to sink in. Then Luca nearly fell out of his chair laughing. “That’s fantastic! Who told you that?”

“I thought of it myself, thank you very much. I tried it out first on that Mark Twine fella, and liked it a lot. Then I told Will Bloggers, and he thought it was funny, too.”

“As do I. All my mana and all my love are yours.”

“Finally!” She said. “Now take off your clothes.”

“By the way,” Luca said, smiling as he unbuttoned  his shirt, “I want that chicken to cross that road, turn into a woman, give me a hand job, and make me cum until my brain turns to mush.”

Naamah smiled back and said, “Mr Mana Man, this happy little chicken is going to do all of that.” She whispered in his ear, “Fuck me, lover.”