I was in my early 30s at the time. I had never considered doing anything with a guy until recently. I'd seen some porn that eventually included guys sucking dick and then fucking. Initially I was turned off but every time I came across such porn I became more curious. I had been around enough gay men between school and work that I was comfortable around them, just not interested in them. Even when I became curious I had no interest in any of them. I just wanted to keep it a secret.

I was receiving mailers with porn content. Most of it was straight and included lesbian action. Occasionally there would be some gay content. Not much but enough to catch my attention. There was no internet at this time so everything was through mail. One day I came across an ad for a message board where you could see messages left by others, straight, lesbian, gay and other sexual interests. So I subscribed to it and was receiving mailers from them. I read through a couple of them when I decided to read a couple of gay ones. I was surprised to find myself getting aroused by the posts. I read through several of them in the nest mailer. I was pretty high one day and decided to add a post of my own. I just mentioned I was curious and interested in possibly meeting.

I received several responses. I didn't expect to receive any. Many were creepy, some where the guys were too aggressive and some were just too gay for my liking. However, one caught my attention. He was in his mid-50s and lived a couple of hours from me but in an area I was familiar with. He was very nice. He said he would like to exchange letters and get to know me a little more and talk about my curiosity. No strings attached.

I went back and forth about replying but finally, stoned once again, I decided to write back. I had nothing to lose. We didn't know each other. I could find out if this was just a strange fantasy or if there was something to this. I wrote back, told him my name, a little about myself and that I looked forward to hearing back from him.

Well, we exchanged several letters. His name was Wayne. And we got along really well. I had recently moved back to my parents' so phone calls were out of the question. There were no cell phones then so no chance to keep this a secret on my own phone. I had a mailbox at a post office in a nearby town so I could keep them secret.

The letters started getting very sexual, talking about what we would like to do if we met. I was quite brave in the letters. We each jerked off to them. But then we started talking about actually meeting. I eventually agreed that I would like to meet. He said that if I didn't end up feeling comfortable doing anything then that would be ok. And if we did start anything that I could stop. He would respect my boundaries and limitations but would love to meet me nonetheless.

We agreed to meet at a Burger King that was about at the halfway point between the two of us. If we decided that we did want to get together then there was a hotel a couple of exits down. So I packed an overnight bag and went on my way. I was rather nervous but I felt ok.

It wasn't until I arrived at the Burger King that the nerves really hit. And they exploded when I saw his car. I just couldn't do this so I drove away. I got down the road and had to stop at the light. I was feeling really bad leaving him hanging like that. I'd developed a real liking for this guy so I had to meet him. If I decided I couldn't go through with it then that was ok. So I turned around and went back. I parked next to him and rolled down the window.

"Wayne," I said.

"Jeff," he replied. "Did I see you drive away a few minutes ago?"

"Yeah, that was me. I got extremely nervous, My heart was pounding. I couldn't go through with this. But I had a moment to think at the light and decided that I needed to at least meet you. You made the trip down here. And I did want to meet you."

"Well, I'm glad you changed your mind. I was going to wait a few more minutes since I thought that was you. Why don't you come on over and sit with me."

I was really nervous but nothing was going to happen except us talking. So I got into the passenger side of his car and shook his hand. We exchanged pleasantries and chatted for a bit. He had this deep, soft voice. It was seductive and intoxicating. It was very easy to feel comfortable with him.

"How are you feeling right now?"

"Nervous, but not as much as when I pulled into the parking lot both times. You're making me feel more at ease."

"I'm happy to hear that. I don't want to make you feel uneasy." He put his hand on my thigh as he said that. "So, I brought some of my favorite letters that you sent to me. Do you mind if I read them?" he asked.

"Of course not. I brought some of yours as well but they are in my car."

"Why don't you go get them."

So I did and got back into his car.

"This one is my favorite!" he said and proceeded to read it. It was the letter I wrote when we first talked of meeting and it described my fantasy of how it would go. I remembered writing it and I was getting really hard hearing it, especially the way he was reading it with that voice.

"So, is that how you see things going tonight?" he said.

"I'm not sure how I see tonight going. It was a lot easier saying it then when nothing was going to happen."

"Do you have a favorite letter of mine that you want to share," he asked.

I looked at a couple and found the one. "This one. It's how you were going to guide me through this experience. Much more realistic than my fantastic version." So I read the letter.

When I finished he asked, "Tell me what you are thinking right now?"

"I'm really nervous, but excited as well. I'm glad that I came back and finally got to meet you. I can't believe I am going to say this but I would like to go up to the hotel with you and try some of these things out."

"Are you sure," he said. "There is no pressure to do anything. If you just want to talk then that is fine. I don't want you to do anything you are not comfortable doing."

I smiled and replied, "I am sure. I'm very sure. I want to try these things and want to do them with you."

I got into my car and followed him up to the hotel.