The rear kitchen door opened and closed gently. The smell of still warm cheese scones wafted through the air. A girl in a white summer dress put away the floral oven gloves and turned to see who had arrived. They smiled at each other. The fresh lemonade poured slowly from the glass jug, the sound of ice cubes plinking as two large glasses filled. The girl in a tight little black dress took the proffered glass and took a long swig before wiping her mouth. 

“I fucked her," said Lainey pulling at the black dress hoping it didn’t show too much thigh.

"What you say? Fucked who?"

"I just fucked her. In her house."

"Yeah, yeah, we got that bit. At the risk of repeating this until the end of time. Fucked who?" Charlotte repeated.

"Hmmm, that fucking girl down the road. In her house."

"Plenty of girls down our road. Be more specific once you've gotten down off the high. Maybe next week."

"You know her. The weird girl always in black and stuff." 

Lainey gestured at her own clothes. They laughed.

"Okay, that's narrowed it down to half the street."

"I fucking fancied her for ages. Long dark hair, sweet smile, lives in the one with the newly painted porch."

"Nope, earth to fucking Lainey."

"She smiled at me yesterday when we all talked. Well, I just had the hots for her, and I think she had for me."

There was silence. The two friends looked at each other, hoping the other would remember the girl's name. Lainey gave up.

"Blah, blah, blah. Fuck, why can’t I remember it.” 

"Oh, her. Kinda cute but fuck me she wears some weird, dark stuff. Did you see her last outfit, looked like a blind witch had dressed her in the middle of the night with no light on.”

"Yes, it was well cool. That's what made up my mind."

"About?"

"Have you been listening. To fuck her." 

"Listening, yes. Understanding, no." 

Lainey looked daggers at her friend and took another swig.

"I just walked to her house. Knocked and entered. She was there in the kitchen. I just lifted my skirt and showed the new black strap-on I was packing."

"Most people say hello first."

"She laughed at it. So I asked if she wanted to play. She did, I think."

"Well, how can anyone say no to you wearing a big, black cock."

They both took a breath, raised their glasses, swigged a little lemonade.

"I know. So I turned her around. Bent her over the kitchen table, pulled down the jeans and the dirty bitch had no undies on."

"She must have been waiting for you."

"It slipped right in, once I'd put a bit of spit on the end of it."

"How romantic of you."

"I buried it right up to the hilt. I thought she squealed, but it turned out it was the cat. You might guess the cat is black as well." 

"Am I going to get a blow by blow account of you thrusting the black silicon up her pussy for the next ten minutes?" Charlotte inquired, shaking her head in amazement.

"Fuck ten minutes, make that twenty. I rode her like a cowboy at the Olympic rodeo. She could not get enough of Charlie."

"Who is Charlie, and where does he or for that matter, she enter this tale?"

Charlie is my dick. You have to give them a name, right?"

"Maybe in your little world, an inhabitant of one. Wait, you named your pretend dick after me?” 

They both smiled. It was true, Laineyworld was a beautiful place most of the time. 

"She was thrusting just as hard as I could push it in. Wow, she can sure fuckin' ride, or is that ride a fuck?"

"Whatever."

"At one point, I thought she had pissed herself as there was that much juice. It was everywhere. Over my thighs, her arse, the floor."

"I hope you took a mop and bucket to clean up."

“Perhaps, I should have made her lick it up.”

“Yeah, right. If you'd have bent her over, she could have done it while you screwed her. Woman are so adept at multi-tasking.”

"Four, four rip-roaring fucking orgasms she had by the time I'd finished."

"A quiet day for you then."

"Quiet, she wasn't quiet in the end. Just about burst her lungs with the last orgasm."

"And I thought it was thunder."

"Left her sprawled across the table when Charlie slipped out, gibbering something about her lunch."

There was a little giggle between them, perhaps even a glint in the eye remembering afternoons past.

“What was it eye of newt or something similar?”

“No, it was Charlie with a warm pussy juice dressing.”

"Did you say goodbye to her. Thank her for the use of her table and for that matter the use of her vagina?"

"Kinda, I said see you around sometime."

"The last of the true romantics."

"It was romantic in its own way."

"Think I hear wedding bells. Nope, it's the ice cream van. Want one?" Charlotte enquired.

"Yeah, I'll have a big cone with two flakes."

"A large 99 then?"

"You want a 69? I'm a bit tired. Perhaps after the ice cream."

They both giggled and off they skipped for afternoon ice cream.

"This was our Radio Four Sunday teatime five minute play. This replaced the usual sports programme due to the ongoing Coronavirus situation. There will be another next Sunday at 4 pm. Thank you for listening."