Richard Smallbone arrived as vicar of the village of Sodbury in January. He was young and unmarried and did shorter sermons than his predecessor. However, it was the purification ritual that he carried out for a small fee that really won the hearts of some of his parishioners. He always did it with one female parishioner at a time and he did it at night.

He drew a line in the earth and made sure it was a ley line by sighting the pole star. If you happen to know that ley lines have nothing to do with the pole star you might want to keep it to yourself and get on with the story. He drew three more lines to make a cross, although it was upside down.

"Now, because this is a purification we both have to disrobe,"

He started by taking off his outer clothes.

He reassured Lady Jane with a smile, "It is nothing to do with sex." His creditable erection might suggest otherwise. She had not seen a naked man since the unfortunate death of Lord Farnsworth and she was ready for anything the reverend might have in mind

Lady Jane lay on the inverted cross and he sprinkled holy water over her. He rubbed it into her legs, her tummy, and her naked breasts. She had not had sex for ten years and she found the experience exciting.

"Open your legs, I have to cleanse you of all wickedness."

Lady Jane opened her legs and he poured holy oil between her legs and diligently rubbed it in. He led her in the Lord's Prayer as he rubbed the handful of holy oil over her pubic area but he seemed to be saying it backward for some reason.

"Inside and out," he said.

He slid two fingers into her vagina and started to recite the names of saints. With each saint, he pushed in a little bit harder. His thumb caressed her clitoris. Lady Jane's breathing showed how much she was enjoying it and she closed her eyes in bliss. The vicar's penis was really hard by now and he started fucking Lady Jane on the inverted cross. He took a firm hold of her breasts and squeezed her nipples gently.

She was moaning with pleasure. She was sweating now.

"Turn over and get on all fours. The Devil can always find a way into you."

Lady Jane had never been fucked up the ass before. The late Lord Farnsworth could scarcely manage normal intercourse, poor old thing. The vicar gave her backside a good spanking for good measure. She loved it.

As they were getting dressed, he asked, "Will you be coming to choir practice?"

"Oh, yes," she replied.

From then on his purification ritual was top of the pops with the ladies of his flock.

(Richard Smallbone was not his real name and he was an accountant by trade. All he knew about church rituals he had picked up at Satanist orgies in London).

The End