“So,” Patrick asked, “what do you think?”

Belinda sucked her lips in and held them, stifling a chuckle. As with their budding relationship, she wanted to nurture her boyfriend’s nascent interest in writing erotica, so she thought better than to laugh in his face after reading his first attempt.

“Well,” she started, pausing for a breath to quell the tickling tremors in her belly, “it’s not bad… per se.”

“But?”

Where to begin? Belinda thought. “Mmm, baby,” she cooed with an earnest pinch of her brow, “you may have overdid it with the… hmm… metaphors?”

She was being kind and as critically straightforward as possible.

Patrick took his tablet from her and leaned back against the bed pillows. The screen illuminated his frown as he asked, “Metaphors?”

She pointed at the screen and explained, “Well, there’s this one: ‘Almonzo sank his long, hard, swollen, throbbing shaft into Consuela’s sweet pussy. It was as if his manhood was being cuddled by a pile of warm, wet, Chihuahua puppies.’”

Belinda regarded Patrick for a second. Good god, he was smiling as if pleased with himself.

“Baby,” she began, blinking at him.

“Yeah?” he replied, still grinning.

“Have you ever fucked a pile of Chihuahua puppies?”

He paused. “No.”

Thank god, she thought. “Then why would you describe it like that?”

Patrick shrugged. “Chihuahua puppies are cute and cuddly.”

“Sure, but why Chihuahuas?”

“Because Consuela is Mexican,” he replied and continued, undeterred by Belinda’s eyes suddenly widening, “It wouldn’t make sense to describe her hooch like a pile of German Shepherd puppies.”

“No woman wants their ‘hooch’ to be described as a pile of any sort of puppies,” Belinda remarked, coming right to the point. She shook her head at the thought of a pile Shih Tzu’s squirming over Alonzo’s dick if Consuela had been Asian.

“Then how should I describe it?” Patrick asked.

Belinda sighed and smiled as she rested her head against his arm and looked up at him, patting his chest. “Go by your experiences. I think as a new writer you should start by writing what you know about, what you’ve actually done. Use descriptions of things you’ve actually felt around your cock, like warm water, or a soft towel, or your hand…” she paused to bat her eyes, “… or me. What do I feel like, baby?”

Patrick grinned back at her knowingly and nodded. “I think I get it. Stick to what I’ve stuck my cock into.”

“A little blunt, but sure,” Belinda chuckled as she took the tablet from him and set it aside. She pulled Patrick down into the bed with her. “Come here, ‘Hemingway’. Let my ‘hooch’ give you some more much-needed inspirational experience.”

Two days later...

‘Almonzo sank his long, hard, swollen, throbbing shaft into Consuela’s sweet pussy. It was as if his manhood was being cuddled by an oily, hot, moist rotisserie chicken.”

Belinda didn’t speak to Patrick for a week.