This is the story of my first gay/bi experiences. I have been repressing these feelings for most of my life. Both because I did not know how to connect with like-minded people, and because of the embarrassment associated with wanting to have sex with another man. I am very glad that I overcame this—especially the embarrassment—which gives me so much more freedom in my life.
I originally wrote this story a couple of years ago. I published it on a porn website where I had a profile. I have now revised it to make it more readable and to improve the flow.
Exploring the gay or bi side of my sexuality has been a recurring part of my life since I became an adult. Every few years, I get a strong craving to please a man. Either with my hands or my mouth, preferably with my mouth. It never went further than fantasizing about what it would feel like to have someone come in my mouth. I had, when I was in my twenties, jerked off a man twice. But that was just another awkward sexual experience. Really blowing a man, letting him come in my mouth, remained a fantasy. I longed to do it, but I was too nervous to act on it. I bought a small 18 cm long dildo, shaped as a real cock, with a glans, veins, and a suction cup under the balls. With which I enjoy filling my ass while I jerk off to my favourite porn.
About three years ago, I decided to do something. I really wanted to try to suck a cock. I started to use the dildo in my mouth, acting as if it were a real dick to see how far I could get it in without gagging, while also exercising my tongue.
I wasn't sure how to go about it, but I knew I needed to find someone safe and discreet. Therefore, I decided to make a profile on a well-known porn site with a widely used dating section. I live in a Northern European country, and found that on this particular site, multiple married men were claiming to look for a bisexual or homosexual experience. I started to look in the vicinity of where I live, at least within a two- or three-hour drive, but certainly not too close, to reduce the likelihood of bumping into an acquaintance. I specifically searched for married men, as I believed they had the best reason to be careful not to contract any STDs.
It didn't take long before I found out that it wasn't that easy to find somebody willing to be sucked by a stranger. It took me a while before I made contact with men who were open to a meeting and willing to try.
While most profiles claimed to be open to personal contact, they quickly backed away once plans for a meeting became specific. I think many of these men liked the tension of fantasizing about being bisexual. To them, I believe, it was mainly about having a hot chat contact while jerking off. And although I don't object to that, and fully understand that myself, it wasn't what I was looking for.
After a few months, I found a man who lived relatively close to me. I also had great contact with another man on the other side of the country. We exchanged ideas in a prolonged chat and built up some trust. My first date was with the one who lived closest to me, a married man looking for someone to give him a blowjob. Before moving forward, we decided to meet at McDonald's and get to know one another, at least somewhat. I believe now, that he was just as nervous and inexperienced as I was.
We hadn't made specific plans on how to proceed, but we decided to use his car--a Caravelle with two rows of three seats in the back. We drove a short distance to a quiet place that he was familiar with.
After we moved to the back of the car, he abruptly unbuttoned and dropped his trousers and underwear. He had a nice cock--not very big, but certainly not small either--with his balls hanging low as he stroked himself slowly. He invited me to sit beside him and grab it. I was pretty nervous, but at the same time, very horny. Sitting beside him, I got hold of his cock; I cupped my other hand under his balls and began to stroke him while softly massaging his scrotum. He quickly got hard and started to breathe heavily. Within a minute of me stroking him, before I even started to use my mouth, he shot his load. He caught me by surprise with his quick and sudden orgasm. I had planned to give him an erection before proceeding with the blowjob that I wanted to give so badly. In my imagination, I would suck him for at least 20 minutes, trying to get him as deep as possible and using all the tongue movements that I had practised at home with my dildo.
It was clear that he was done, as far as he was concerned. He shoved me away and pulled up his underwear and trousers without even cleaning himself. I stayed in the back on one of the passenger seats, disappointed but horny as hell, with my clothes stained with his spunk. Without speaking, he drove back to the McDonald's where my car was parked. He thanked me in the parking lot and opened the door to let me out before he drove away. I found the whole experience disappointing, and we never had contact with each other again
I continued keeping in contact with the other guy who lived further away; he was also married. We exchanged a couple of dick pics through email. He had a nice, sturdy cock with clean-shaven balls and a triangle of trimmed pubic hair. His cock was not particularly long, but it was thick and was topped with a beautiful, big head. I also sent him a few photos of me playing with my dildo--two with the dildo buried in my ass, and one with my mouth around it, where I had cropped the photo so that only the lower part of my face was visible. Almost every evening, we chatted, talking about our experiences and our fantasies. We shared our favourite porn videos and jerked off while chatting together. We were both interested in physical contact with other men, and of course, I told him about my disappointing experience.
One day in April, he wrote to tell me that he would be in my part of the country. He was travelling for work and would be staying at a hotel about 60 kilometres from where I live for a couple of days. He wrote that we could meet there in the evening if I was interested. If I agreed, we would suck each other's dicks, and he promised he would not cum instantly. However, he insisted that he wanted to taste me and wanted to make me come in his mouth. It was clear he was more experienced in these kinds of meetings; he knew this was going to be my first real time.
He proposed meeting in a bar not far from his hotel. We met at a table in the back of the bar, and we soon realized that there was chemistry between us. We both felt as if we'd known each other for a long time.
After a few drinks and some small talk, we decided to go up to his hotel room. When we arrived in the hotel room, he suggested that we take a shower first. I waited in the room until he was finished in the bathroom. He came out in a bathrobe, and I took my turn in the shower, making sure to wash all the important parts. I came out into the room naked after I was done.
As I walked up to him, he smiled and looked at me. I opened his bathrobe and pushed him gently towards the bed. His cock stood at attention--a beautiful, thick dick. Dropping onto the bed, he took my balls in his hands while I stood in front of him. Softly massaging my balls, he looked at my still-flaccid dick and asked me if I was nervous. With a sheepish smile, I told him that I was, and added with a laugh that it would be his job to fix that. He pulled me closer to his face, licked my balls, and kissed the head of my cut dick. My cock responded immediately, becoming fully erect within a few moments of his licking and kissing it. I massaged his nipples while he kissed and tenderly licked my glans.
All the while, his hands massaged my inner thighs and buttocks. I held my breath when he took the head of my dick into his mouth, using his tongue to massage the sensitive underside of my glans. He kneaded my balls, and with his other hand, he still explored the inside of my thighs and my ass. He rubbed his finger against my tender asshole, making me gasp and involuntarily contract the muscles in my buttocks, clamping his fingers between my ass cheeks as I thrust my hips forward.
Slowly, he progressed to take my cock deeper; I could feel his tongue licking the underside while he started bobbing his head. I looked down at him, moving his head with my cock in his mouth. The sight of him sucking my slippery dick made me so horny that I felt my climax coming closer. If I didn't stop him, I would soon shoot my load in his mouth. I wanted it to last longer; this was so good that I didn't want it to be over yet. Moaning, with both my hands on his head, I asked him to stop before I filled his mouth. I needed to enjoy this evening longer. He let my dripping, over-sensitive, and rock-hard cock slide out of his mouth and looked up at me, smiling. He told me how he loved the taste of my pre-cum and how eager he was to have his mouth filled with my spunk later on.
With my cock still twitching, I sat down on the bed. Throwing all the pillows against the headboard, I asked him to sit against them and open his legs. He positioned himself against the pillows, spread his legs, and pulled up his knees, giving me a wonderful view of his crotch and his ass. I crawled between his knees and started to lick his clean-shaven nuts, now and then sucking one of them into my mouth and constantly using my tongue for extra stimulation. His breathing intensified, making it clear he enjoyed the treatment. I ramped up the tongue lashing on his sack, and started to stroke his hard dick while sucking and licking his testicles. I could feel my fingers getting slippery from all the pre-cum dripping from his cock; his balls were drenched as a result of my slobbering on them.
While slowly jerking his slick dick, I lowered my head to lick under his sack, my tongue exploring the sensitive skin between his scrotum and ass with deliberate, teasing strokes. I felt a shiver go through him; he grabbed my head with both hands, and I knew I had found a sensitive spot. With my free hand, I reached up to his chest and lightly pinched his nipples. His soaking ballsack hung in my face while my tongue was pleasuring his perineum, with saliva dripping and running between his ass cheeks. I really tried to make this as good as possible; this was what I had been working towards for months. At last, I was using my mouth to satisfy a guy, and I wanted to make it last and be as good for him as I possibly could.
After a few minutes, I looked up, still stroking his cock. My face was as wet and slippery as his balls and perineum. I looked at him and asked if he wanted me to suck his cock now. He answered by taking my head in his hands, pulling me up, and kissing me on the mouth, forcing his tongue inside.
I had never before had a man push his tongue into my mouth. I was shocked, and my first reaction was to pull away, but he had a firm grip on my head and did not let go. After my initial shock, I started to kiss him back and used my own tongue. Surrendering to his invasive kiss gave me a new high of horniness; I was still stroking his leaking cock with my right hand. I used my left hand on my own dick now, and I felt I was coming close to climaxing again. I forced myself to let go of my dick, not wanting to spill my load on the bedsheets, and fondled his chest and nipples just to occupy my hand.
He let go of my head and told me to suck him now. I went down, licking his stomach, and took his cockhead into my mouth. He was hard, warm, and big in my mouth, and I tasted his pre-cum.
He grabbed my right hand and brought it up to his face, putting two of my fingers in his mouth and starting to suck on them. Dripping with his spit, he then took my fingers out of his mouth and guided my hand back down, asking me to put one finger up his ass. Moving my finger through his ass crack, he spread his legs even further and pushed his ass up a bit. His crack was already so slippery from all the saliva that I doubted it had been necessary to lube up my finger in his mouth. I inserted my finger into his anus without any resistance. With my mouth on his cock, I started to move inside him.
Often when I masturbate, I love to shove one or two fingers, or my dildo, up my ass, so I know where to find the sensitive spot inside him. Bobbing up and down with my head on his cock, I massaged his prostate.
My tongue massaged the underside of his glans while my finger worked his ass. I started to take him deeper, my tongue working his pole. Bobbing up and down on this thick cock, I tried to get him as deep as possible. I was unable to get him as deep as I wanted, so I compensated by working my tongue on him; he was simply too thick for me to swallow.
I fantasized regularly about slipping a cock down my throat, even practising deep-throating with my dildo. Taking my dildo down my throat was no problem, but the dick I had in my mouth was so much thicker than the toy I owned. I had once had a girlfriend who did not mind a rough blowjob, and I loved the feeling of shoving my dick down her throat. She could control her gag reflex and managed to breathe around my dick in her throat, and I loved both the tightness of her throat and the sense of domination while holding her face buried in my pubes. I would love to be able to take a cock deep in my throat just as she did, and experience the submissive side of it.
Suddenly, his breathing became even more intense and faster, his legs stiffened, and I felt the muscles in his stomach and ass tighten. He managed to warn me he was coming. I looked up at him, not letting go of his cock in my mouth and continuing to finger his ass, nodding to indicate I wanted him to unload in my mouth. I felt his cockhead grow even larger; his dick started to pulsate. He grabbed my head and held it in place while his hips rose off the bed, pushing his cock further into my mouth.
He shot his first string of seed, and his sphincter tightened around my finger. Holding my head firmly in his hands, he shot three more strings of cum deep against my throat, filling up my mouth. Unable to swallow his spunk with his cock so deep in my mouth, I had to let some of it spill out, flowing down his rod and onto his balls. I felt it dripping onto my hand, which was still in his ass crack with my finger deep in him.
He let go of my head after he emptied his whole load. I let his still-erect cock slide out of my mouth and swallowed the rest of his sperm. I didn't really like the taste, but by now I was so horny that I didn't care; I just wanted to eat his spunk. With his cum around my lips and dripping from my chin, I smiled at him and pulled my finger out of his now-relaxed sphincter. I told him that this was the hottest thing I had ever experienced. He smiled and quickly kissed me on the mouth, telling me it was his turn now. He asked me to take his place, and I knew that I was not going to last very long; my cock was rock-hard, pre-cum covered my glans, and my balls were almost bursting.
I took his place against the headboard, and he started to suck me. He was clearly more experienced than I was. His tongue action drove me to the brink and he sucked in his cheeks to increase the pressure on my cock. He took me much deeper than I was able to go. Soon I reached my top, within a few minutes, and without warning, I climaxed in his mouth. It felt like the biggest load I ever shot, but he just swallowed it all and didn't release my cock before I was empty. Utterly exhausted, I sat on the bed. Breathing heavily, smile on my still cum covered lips, utterly satisfied, my hottest experience yet.
We showered and had a drink in the bar before he went back to the hotel, and I drove home. My head filled with visions of our hot encounter and still tasting his cum on my breath, despite the drink I had afterwards. Overwhelmed by a blissful feeling and thoroughly satisfied.
I took his place against the headboard, and he started to suck me. He was clearly more experienced than I was. His tongue action drove me to the brink, and he sucked in his cheeks to increase the pressure on my cock. He took me much deeper than I had been able to take him. Soon I reached my peak; within a few minutes, and without warning him, I climaxed in his mouth. It felt like the biggest load I had ever shot, but he just swallowed it all and didn't release my cock until I was empty. Utterly exhausted, I sat on the bed, breathing heavily with a smile on my still cum-covered lips, completely satisfied. It was, back then, my hottest experience.
We showered and had a drink in the bar before he went back to his room and I drove home. My head was filled with visions of our hot encounter, and I could still taste his cum on my breath despite the drink I had afterwards, leaving me overwhelmed by a blissful feeling and thoroughly satisfied.
We still have frequent contact via text messages and mail. Occasionally, we arrange to meet, booking rooms in the same hotel. I think it will never get boring. We never fuck. I have brought my dildo a few times, and we did have fun with it, but all we really do is blow each other. I have fucked a couple of guys since then, both receiving and delivering, but for us, an occasional blowjob is enough.
