The process was gradual. When Kieren left the ship, he took her spirit with him. No one had to inform her of his departure. She felt the pull. As he drifted away, she felt it move with him. Then finally it disappeared. It was a mercy that he had not violently ripped it from her chest. There was no broken skin, just emptiness. He had no knowledge of what now clung to him. No one takes what they do not want. Her strength followed. The absence of strength left her motionless. Voice abandoned her too, an involuntary silence this time. She gave no protest.
Like Iona’s depreciation, her depression was irrepressible. First she was less than silver pieces, second less than goats, then less than brightly colored cloth. That had not mattered. They could not own or trade her spirit. Without one she was less than a homeless dog and felt this to her core.
Days passed without notice. Soiling herself became more than a threat, which caused her to rise. Washing the bedding gave her nowhere to lie, which caused her to stand.
Someone saw to her food and brought her water, when they remembered. Even a dog was fed occasionally, she thought. It mattered not. Although keeping herself clean, she rarely stomached food. Whoever came moved quickly and avoided acknowledgment.
There were no restraints circling her ankle, no locks on her door. Without Kieren’s interest or protection, Iona was left open. She was at the mercy of his men. They could do whatever they chose. Men without rules lack a heart. They have no form of natural affection within them. Just like animals that eat their own children, they have no conscience. She had seen men come close, but they had stood still due to decrees designed for their kind. Decrees brought order. With no consequences there were no boundaries, no decrees.
Iona sat waiting, rocking back and forth with her hands clasped.
Maybe they would take her one by one. She was special. They would stand in line, sweating and desperate. They would lick their dry lips, eyes wild from the pressure of impatience. His men’s stature was larger than most. Like Kieren they would be well endowed.
Maybe they would take her by threes, taking advantage of every aperture. At first, her skin would be a source of wonderment. They would work in unison. Together they would kiss and lick to experience her taste. Each would want to squeeze her firm breasts. One would suck one as another sucks the other. Jealous, the third one would pull from any available area. This would feel good and remove her fear. Then they would fuck her, one beneath her, one behind her and one in her mouth. She would welcome the abuse, having perversions never shared. They would congratulate each other on the extent of their attained depth. This would be a sign of manhood, a reward. They would pump in and out of her feeling the press of each other. Their rhythm would take hold of her and she would move with them. She would come with them; her body would stream with a combination of thick liquids. To watch the crawl of cream against the darkness of her skin would be another great wonderment. Its taste would be on her tongue. Its lubrication would soothe her loosened opening and swollen pussy. She would be shocked by her own pleasure. Kieren’s roughness and hunt for gratification would then pale in comparison.
No.
The men in charge would take her first. They would have a strong need to finally taste this delicacy that once was denied. They would show tenderness. Having frequent experiences inland, a woman’s touch would not be rare. This woman would request no fee, yet be most valued.
Maybe one would want to feel stronger, bigger, better, and last longer, with a desire to finally best Kieren. This one would want to bring her pleasure to have proof. This one would take his time, angering those that wait. No one would dare hurry him.
Iona would welcome him, thankful for his gentleness knowing this was a gift. But from this point forward Iona would not be herself. She would float above. She would watch, but later she would turn away. That which is not her would remain, knowing that she is only a vessel.
The one wishing to give pleasure would kiss her inviting lips, loving their soft lushness as he runs his hands down the sides of her body. She would be like fruit to him. He would suck on her neck as he works downward. He would circle her nipple with the tip of his tongue as if testing its sweetness. His lips would first kiss its tip before taking it fully. He would feed, pulling from it. Flicking it with his tongue and nibbling with his teeth would make her back arch, feeding him more. His other hand would knead the other breast as it waits for his fine treatment. He would find her special places and kiss them all appreciatively. He would fondle and explore every inch of her skin to rid the influence of myths.
The one that is Iona would watch from above in anger. Because of his ministrations, the one that is not Iona would be a traitor. The betrayal would be with her body. This betrayal readies her to accept him. With a pussy fully saturated, her legs would spread wider.
He would lie on top of her like lovers do, but only to read her expressions. He would ask her to place her arms around his neck. Wanting the others to hear her moans, he would enter slowly. She would feel every inch of him and know where he falls short. Still she would welcome him. His fucking would be deliberate. Often pausing, he would suck, bite and mark her breasts thinking it extends his longevity. It has the opposite effect.
He would ask, “Am I stronger?”
Her hands would feel the curve of his shoulders and slide to his upper arms as she lies.
“Yes, you are stronger.”
He would pull himself out of her, glistening with proof of her eagerness. Sitting between her legs on his knees, holding himself, stroking his length with proof of his eagerness forming droplets at its tip, he would wonder.
He would ask her to touch it and she would feel the heat of its firmness.
Finally he would ask, “Am I bigger than him?”
She would lie again, nodding her head, and say, “You are much bigger than he is.”
With one push to the hilt, he would enter her this time—while intently watching her face. With satisfaction he would begin to move and fuck her faster. He would work harder than before, grunting as his control weakens. He would become thankful for this feeling that she gives. He would begin to forget himself, wrap himself with nothing but her. Then to avoid the appearance of such, he would force himself to stop.
Sweating profusely and breathing heavily, he would ask, “Am I better than he is?”
She would nod her head, bite her lip and moan deeply, to avoid expressing this lie.
The thought of being stronger, bigger and better than the man he idolizes would increase his pride, give him a new sense of manliness. This would increase her sweetness. Pursuit of her pleasure would become stronger as he reaches for his own. She would be a taste far better than any tasted before. He would be hypnotized by her willingness to accept the man he has become—longing for him more than she did the other. He would be sure of this fact by the look on her face and the reaction of her body. His fucking would become frantic and hard to control.
Only then would he remember that he should out-last Kieren--this proves to be his greatest obstacle.
Grunting would come from low in his chest, in union with his progress. He would begin to say “Yes.” repeatedly until the name of his favorite god replaces it. Concern for what was heard would no longer be of importance. His release would cause his body to spasm. His pleasure would borderline pain. Nothing could have prepared him for what he feels.
She would have turned her face to the side, so her eyes avoid the sting of his sweat and the bizarre look on his face. The feel of him filling her would bring shame.
Iona would no longer be herself; it would not be her shame.
She would then rise up on her elbows in curiosity because he had slid down her body and put his face between her thighs. He would look up and smile, a boy finding unintended sweets. This would be his perversion, the one he will not tell the others about.
He would suck his own fluids from her as if pulling from the neck of a flagon. Sounds of his tongue lapping at her pussy would remind her of a starved animal licking an abandoned dish. He would be thorough, moaning with his own satisfaction. She would find herself moaning too, not out of pretense. Her eyes would close from the feel of it. For the second time, the vessel would betray Iona. This time the betrayal would be greater. He would continue to suck and lick till she shudders. She would grab at his hair, hair not blond or as lush as Kieren’s, unable to endure the feeling he gives. It would be more than she can handle.
She would feel guilt for having responded. This would not be Iona’s guilt. There would be tears though, Iona’s tears. Iona would cry because it is Kieren who is missing in so many ways.
Before this man leaves, sitting beside her and slipping on his leather foot coverings, he would say with pride, “I was in you for far too long, you over flowed with the strength of my seed.”
She would not respond to that; there is no need. He would no longer need her reinforcement. He would now have what he feels to be himself. This man would rub his hand down the curve of her back and kiss her skin for the last time. He would lick at it with appreciation. He would be thankful. He would know that everything that is her will be missed.
When he leaves, she would know that he was the last act of intended kindness. He was the exception. There would be no more. She would then be at the mercy of beasts.
Nothing of that sort had ever happened to Iona, nor had she witnessed such. She had been fucked, but never by a hand purposefully meant to be cruel. There had been moments that left her fearful and shaken. She fully understood that she was one of the more fortunate in her position. She was quite aware of the possibilities that could befall her.
Once, the experiences of another slave had been shared with Iona. An older slave shared awful things, both witnessed and survived. The woman spoke to Iona in a hushed voice meant for secrets. Her descriptions were in great detail. She told of the brutal abuse and death of another. It had left Iona with tears in her eyes and a sickness of the stomach. Iona had listened in horror.
Stunned by the woman's satisfaction in the telling of her tale, Iona became suspicious--hopeful that it was embellished in order to provoke fear. But Iona thought to herself, what kind of woman would create such images.
“How could you possibly know of such a thing and sit before me?” Iona scoffed.
“My master once had two of us,” the woman continued. “He had a debt. The other female was the payment.”
“You saw this?” Iona did not whisper her words.
“I hid in a position that allowed me to witness all.”
Those words were the hardest to believe; anger flooded Iona.
“How could you witness such a thing and not attempt a rescue?”
“You are so young and naïve," the woman mocked. "There would be no point in two when one suffices.”
Iona spit in the woman’s face.
“To be born a female slave means a life of undeserved suffering and continuous tokens of insignificance,” she told the woman with disgust. “To sacrifice one of your own by choice deserves more than just suffering, more than just tokens. You are less than insignificant.”
At the time, Iona’s beauty and bronzed rareness was highly prized by her master. Her master was also greatly revered with a large house and many sons. To make him angry would have deadly results, not just from him but those born of him. The other woman’s master had already proven to be weak. Not only was he the type that did not pay his debts, Iona felt that he could not protect his household as well.
Suddenly Iona screamed out in pain and dropped to her knees. When her master ran to her aid, he found a frightened and terrorized Iona. With fear gripping her, Iona was forced to reveal the source. She pointed to the woman. There was nothing else required. When the woman made way to protest, the backhand of her master silenced her.
This was a serious matter. If an animal was damaged, then the one damaged must be replaced by its equal in value. Slaves were no different. Iona was checked for damage. Although no physical damage was found, her master did not like her mental disposition. Iona was lost in uncontrollable tears; she could not be calmed. So great was her distress that she could not describe the offense.
Her master demanded retribution.
Iona’s master had been gentle with Iona. This did not prove to be the case with the other slave. Given permission, he punished her as he saw fit.
Afterwards, a devastated, but sympathetic, Iona petitioned to bring the woman water.
“It will soothe her,” she pleaded.
Iona’s master pondered her request. He thought his beautiful, spun gold child to have a heart too tender. But if this was what she desired...
Through tears Iona brought the woman water. In pain the woman attempted to grab at it. Iona began to put it within her reach. The link between the two never completed. Iona fed the water to the ground. This was an act not seen by others.
With no tears Iona bent to let the woman hear clearly.
“I curse you,” she whispered. “Now the blood of your sister slave cries out for vengeance. As of this day, she will touch everything that enters your mouth so that the God’s recognize you without a doubt. They will never let you enter into the afterlife. You will be forced to stand at the base of Helgafjell. You will stand at this door forever suffering the pain you witnessed. No one will attempt to rescue you.”
It was on that day, while still on the cusp of becoming a woman, Iona discovered her power. She discovered that these people were at the mercy of their silly speculations. She was never enslaves to their Gods. If there were Gods, she reasoned, she would not have the life forced upon her. If the people that influenced her existence thought her impious, she called on that fear for relief.
“See,” she said at full height, “I am young and I am naïve. I am also one of the living. You are already dead.”
From that day forward the woman refused sustenance. People whispered that she had harmed the dark, female slave, the Blåmenn. For that offense, the woman aged before their eyes, shriveled up and died.
Iona had felt no guilt at the time. It was a fair trade for the life of her unknown sister. To her that was honor.
With the situation she found herself in now, Iona pondered the possibility of Gods. They were now viewing her and not pleased. She had prayed on the fears of their people far too long. Reason then took hold of her. If the Gods now looked upon her, why had they not noticed the actions of others? She decided that no loyalty could be given to Gods that found justice in her state. She would take her punishment with her back straight. Even without spirit, she would keep her honor.
She waited for what was to occur. For the first time, she could not hew a path to safety. There were no choices here.
Iona braced herself each time the door opened. Each time only saw the delivery of necessities and the removal of waste. Sometimes someone would come to the door and just listen, then move away. After waiting for days, Iona opened the door to step into what must befall her with no fear. The rowers did not look at her. They must be of lower status she concluded. They would have her last if she survived long enough. She soon discovered no recognition of her presence was to be found. She thought this odd.
Then as she slept it occurred to her. Iona sat up in anger. “They think me not worthy of abuse.”
She was offended.
Her non-existence left her free to roam the Longship, but she limited herself. Found vile and thus shunned, Iona thought it best to not get in the way.
One day while gazing at the waters, dread left her. Iona thought of how refreshing the waters would feel. It would give her a final cleansing. It would envelope her in its arms and she would finally know how it felt to be loved, to be held with love and found still intact—no pieces of her soul stolen. She remembered no mother rocking her. Now the sea would be her mother. The sea would be her final pleasure. The song of its movements would be her music. The vastness and coldness would make her last breath painless. The beasts of the sea would not bother acknowledging her. She would go in peace. No one here would bother to notice as she climbed to her descent.
Kieren’s words were truth, whispering in her ear.
“Do not be a fool,” an unrecognizable voice spoke behind her. “Men will lose their lives if you give yours away.”
“You are the fool,” she declared without turning to face her accuser. “Something that has no worth could never be compared to the life of one man, let alone many. Your precious men are safe.”
“He warned us about your tongue and its ability to draw anger,” he said. “The burden you are makes your words true. Nevertheless, I am no fool. My leader has given the order that no harm should come to you. Self-harm, no matter how appropriate, would hold no dissimilarity to him. Men would still lose their lives. The process would be painful, even if he takes no joy in it. His words never contain lies. His actions are consistent.”
“Go away from me,” she spit out with the wind in her hair. “No man of your kind is incapable of lying. He cares not for me and you care less. I can relieve you of your burden. Believe me, with assumed consistency or not, your master will be relieved. He has said these words to me directly. Shall I believe you, in which I do not know, or shall I believe the words of someone having proved dominance over you? “
“You senseless bitch,” he declared.
Iona was immediately lifted off her feet by two men she had not realized there and thrown back into Kieren’s space.
The burly owner of the voice towered over her as she lay on the floor. He was older and the front of his silver hair was tethered at the top of his head. At the back, long and thick hair flowed. On his face he wore a full beard, from his chin hung a long braid. He could have easily been Kieren’s father.
Iona recognized him in spite of the anger that twisted his face. He was Kieren’s second.
“First I shall clarify what your minuscular brain may not be designed to comprehend. I have no master. I have never been enslaved by anything. By free will I release my life to a superior leader for the greatest cause. Because of you, our leader has departed. He is out there in battle without us. We are his finest, the favorited ones, his most trusted. We are his warriors. I am his friend. Nevertheless, we are stuck with you. And you…”
Shaking his head, he forced himself to gather words that would only replace the cutting of her skin and not the satisfaction of cutting her in two. It was a hard task.
“You are a demon, just as first thought,” he determined.
“I have no witchery,” she said, awkwardly picking herself off the floor and hoping that he would not return her there. “I am not even a woman. I have nothing within me or outside of me. Kieren has taken my spirit; this leaves me without heart. You are the ones that have me at a great disadvantage. He values his men. You are a part of him. He cares for what is his. I have been assigned anywhere that is of distance from him. I am not his. I have no care. He will never claim me. You have not allowed me to claim myself.”
Exposure brought no shame. Her sayings were undeniable. This man, one she had seen often at Kieren’s side, was surely aware.
“I beg to differ; one could never claim a lack of spirit within you. You leave these men in constant fear of losing their lives. All you give in return are dramatics.”
“With no thought Kieren seeks out a place to deposit me. Or, he lets you leave me where you please. The latter is most likely. Knowing this, you should sanction my self-termination. If you had any mercy you would allow me that right. Why make me wait to be disposed of. My life means nothing. There is no reward in me. I am a slave without a master. I am the dog, the nuisance that wanders your ship and catches itself in your legs. Wherever I am situated, I will be at the mercy of someone’s foot. ”
“You are the deadliest of fools. You have no respect for your life therefore less respect for ours. You are blinded by the disrespect you show. When my leader departed, his anger was great. It surrounded him and projected itself onto us. Yet, through that anger he established your safety. For your benefit we were instructed to protect your life or lose ours.”
He shook his head once more and continued.
“Even from afar he gives you his finest protection. He offers you the freedom of it. Although he reveals nothing, I suspect that you have thrown it in his face. I believe that if you tell him where you desire to be, he will take you there himself and still stand watch. We have an order to deposit you in the midst of safety. Still we must watch over you there. He leaves his best with this duty as if you are a treasure.”
Iona thought the shaking of his head to be a mental twitch. He seemed to have a hard time thinking and speaking at once.
“If you are a treasure, you are very well hidden within yourself. It is hard to believe that you were ever in service to anyone. What slave behaves as you do?”
“If I am not to be given any satisfaction, I am thus finished with conversation,” she threw the words back at him with her hands on her hips. “Remove yourself from this space. I grow tired of you.”
“I grow tired of you. You are a painful growth on my ass.”
“Then I advise you to kiss the curve of mine and take your leave.”
He gave her a dry laugh which only indicated that she was far from amusing.
“He said that he did not want you restrained,” this time his voice made her shudder inside. He looked to be at his last inch of control. “I will if it saves my life and that of others. I will add to that the gift of binding your mouth. If you think of what crossed your mind before, if it shows in your eyes, I will tie you down—feeding and bathing you myself. I have no desire to be in close proximity to you, but it will be a small sacrifice in comparison.”
With that, the door was slammed shut.
As he moved swiftly away from where she dwelled, the older man passed the someone that closely watched over the girl.
“Do not make me have to carry your burden again. I will slice your neck for it,” he roared.
That man, a much younger man, laughed in response. Seeing to her care had become a source of deadly entertainment. But, he had no fear of the old man.
Iona grew hopeful. Kieren had shown some proof of care. But, the knowledge that they could not hurt her under Kieren’s command created a new boldness.
From that point forward, a guard was placed outside of Iona’s door. If she left, he left with her. If she was not properly dressed to roam the ship, he grabbed her by the arm and shoved her back into the room. If she coughed, concern crossed his face. Sometimes she pretended to have trouble clearing her throat or acted as if she was choking to irritate him. His eyes would pin her down with anger. When she pretended to slip, he would claim her arm and curse when she was again steady on her feet. This became her only form of entertainment.
What she did not know is that every night he begged for relief.
“What fear should I have? She makes me want to end my own life,” he exclaimed.
The one man most responsible for her care chose to ignore him as the guard made his request.
“If I choose to leave my post,” the guard now warned the group behind the man, “some of you will die for sure.”
That one man stepped forward so that he was directly in the guard’s face. “I will torture you slowly myself before taking your life and then freely surrender my own. Kieren would not deny me this right. Like a woman you whine. My advice to you: Be a man--hopefully before she wakes.”
The guards fear was evident. Next to Kieren, this one man was most dangerous and most capable.
The other men laughed after the man took his leave.
“You laugh because I am the only man among you,” the guard directed toward the group. “You dream of her at night yet pale at the thought of coming near her.”
The men laughed in agreement. He felt betrayed by his brothers.
Although not knowing specifically what the guard did, Iona did know when he left his post—even to relieve himself. Sometimes she would get up and open her door wide. With fear he would rush in, only to find her dramatically feigning sleep. One time she hid. The entire ship was in an uproar. They found her sitting in Kieren’s space without care, her hands clasped in her lap. Kieren’s second looked upon her with the desire to wring her neck. She was not in fear of the old man. He could not disobey his orders. Of that she was certain. None would. Besides, she thought, for their coldness they deserved such treatment.
She wished that they would let her go over the ship’s side and die.
They wished that they could push her over the ship’s side and watch her die.
Iona was not aware of the one that was informed of her every move. He monitored her eating habits and the smallest of her needs. He heard her tears at night and her moans of self-gratification. Because of both, he preferred to stay as far away from her as possible. It was for her benefit as well as his.
And so it went until she found herself fully dressed in the warmest of clothing, screaming curses while struggling on a rocky beach. After being bound and gagged, she was tossed over a broad shoulder. Iona was livid and did all she could to make his load as uncomfortable as possible.
Another ride up a river on a smaller ship and a short journey found her in the midst of a village. The village was brimming with life. For no reason at all, Iona continued to fight against her humiliating position. There were some words she wished to share as soon as she could. The men only laughed. As they passed, others laughed as well. Seeing the girl’s attempt to fight someone so much larger than her, in such a helpless position, was amusing.
She did notice a market with meats hanging and some wares being sold. That was strange for this time of year. They must have an abundance, she reasoned. Surrounding Longhouses tamed the whip of the winds. Livestock plowed through the streets in transport. She saw bundled women wrapped in brightly colored cloaks heading to what must be their homes. Metal hitting metal sliced through the air. There was the consistent hum of hidden chatter. Iona smelled the cooking of meals behind closed doors and also vile smells that hurt her sensitive nose.
There were many men of all types. Some were obviously Kieren’s. She imagined an artisan’s mold failing to produce a perfect copy of Kieren. Kieren’s form was without flaw. She had realized that each time he bared himself. Her dreams allowed her to touch the warm stretch of skin covering his strength, follow the path of fine hairs downward, and celebrate the feel of him in her hands. She could kiss the scarring on his back. The dream would end but her hands and lips would still feel him.
What hung between his thighs was no dream. Iona witnessed the beauty of that flesh. Some God had given Kieren a great gift. Iona wished her dreams would include the feel of him entering her, not as he had before. She wished to feel each inch of his gift claiming her, touching within her what had never been touched before. She knew that her body would not control itself as he fucked her. It would rise up to meet him, always desiring more. She would cry out each time he withdrew and thank him each time he drove in. Her arms would hold him tight, crushing herself beneath him. Close would not be close enough. Her nails would want to mark him. She would want him to mark her. The world would stop existing as he flooded her with his seed. Enough would not be enough. Afterwards, she would wish to taste him. She would wish to taste herself on him. Only then would she be able to believe that they were once one.
She knew that opportunity was ruined. Nevertheless, her thoughts left her dripping, her heart beating faster. Iona grew angry with her imagination. It had much better sex than any she had experienced.
The images that crowded her mind quieted her. Because of her calmed disposition, the men stood her up and removed her bonds. They warned her not to say a word before removing her gag. When she started to speak, a look made her think better of it. When she tried to run, the wall of someone’s chest made her think better of that.
She rubbed her nose.
“Where are you going to go?” an amused voice asked her.
Iona looked up into a handsome face smiling down at her.
“Far away from you, you swine.”
“I’ll be sure to keep myself far away from that mouth of yours.