I pulled in, hopped out, swiped my card, and hit the button for regular—87. Jammed the nozzle in, squeezed the handle, and leaned back against the car. I barely had any money left in my checking account, just enough to fill up my ancient Chevy Spark—a car so bad it actually won “Worst Car of 2014.”

I sat there thinking about how nothing ever changes. Why would it? My life is a “Wash-Rinse-Repeat” cycle of bad luck and too much work.

That’s when I spotted her. She walked out from behind the gas station, probably mid-twenties, red hair that caught the light, curves that made my heart do something it hadn’t in a while. Her sundress was aqua, strapless, clinging to her sweat in all the right spots, and just barely long enough to be legal.

Click. 

Pump finished. I put the nozzle back and, normally, I would’ve just driven off. But I didn’t want to. I wanted another look at her. So, I made up a reason to go inside. 

Guess I’ll grab a brownie.

Sure, why not? As good a reason as any.

The brownies were right by the door. I barely even glanced at them. Instead, I wandered into the first aisle. No sign of her. Second aisle—still nothing. I started thinking she’d left. 

Then, suddenly, a door on my right swung open, and there she was, coming out of the bathroom.

I must’ve looked like a complete idiot, standing there with my mouth open. Up close, she was even more stunning. Those eyes—jade-green, like emeralds. Little gold earrings shaped like cauldrons. 

She walked right up, noticed my jaw hanging, and gently pushed it closed with her hand.

“You know, staring only gets you so far, hon.”

She smiled, pulled her hand back, and I swear my whole body just lit up.

She took a step back and grinned. 

“But hey, it worked. I’m interested.”

There was a lot of Irish in her voice, but it was tucked under an American accent.

“Interested?” I asked, probably sounding like a twelve-year-old.

She moved in again, close enough that I could feel the heat off her.

“Aren’t you something? What’s your name, then?”

“Alexander.”

“Siobhan.” 

Her breast brushed my chest.

That had to be by accident, right?

“Oh, sorry,” she said, stepping back just a bit. “Do you live around here, Alexander?”

“Call me Alex. Not really—I’m about forty-five minutes out.”

“That’s a long way,” she said.

“A long way for what?”

“To wait for you to fuck me.”

I just blinked. That was...direct.

She closed the gap again, pushing her chest against me this time.

Her hand slid down and squeezed me through my jeans. I wasn’t hard yet, but that was about to change.

You’ve gotta understand—stuff like this never happens to me. I’m not single by choice. I’m single because I don’t have any game. Twenty-eight years old, two women ever, and that’s counting college.

She leaned in, lips right next to my ear. “Why don’t we head to that room behind us?”

“Room behind us?”

Weird way to say bathroom, but okay.

She slipped away. 

“Thirty seconds to decide,” she called, disappearing through the door.

I didn’t need thirty.

I followed her and locked the door. The bathroom was tiny, barely enough room for one person, let alone two people with motives to fuck around.

Her hair tumbled over her bare shoulders as she pushed me back onto a wall. The place was cleaner than I expected for a gas station, especially this late in the day.

Those green eyes locked on mine. The look she gave me could’ve melted steel.

“No time like the present,” she whispered, dropping to her knees on the cold tile. My cock strained against my jeans—she hadn’t even touched me yet.

She unzipped me, slow, like she wanted every second of it to last. One soft hand wrapped around me. She leaned in and ran her tongue along the length. I groaned, and she shot me a look—finger to her lips.

“Shhh.”

She was right. Getting caught in a highway bathroom was not on my bucket list.

She kept her eyes on me and took me in, lips pressing tight, sucking deep. Her head moved back and forth in a steady rhythm. I tried to hold back, but she was too good. She hummed around me, and the feeling shot straight to my core. Her free hand cupped my balls, tight, nothing gentle about it. My breathing went ragged.

She picked up the pace, swirling her tongue around the head every chance she got. I was close, and she knew it.

“It’s okay,” she murmured, mouth still working me. “Just cum.”

I groaned and let go, coming hard down her throat. She swallowed every last drop, eager for it, and didn't stop until I had nothing left. She let go with a little pop, licked her lips, and stood up, smirking while I tried to get my breath back.

“We’re done in here, darlin’… but—” Before I could say anything, she grabbed my hand and slid it under her dress. Nothing but skin and heat. No underwear.

She reached down and put her middle finger inside her, then took it and put it in my mouth. I licked it clean.

“Can we go to your car? Somewhere quieter?” she asked.

I didn’t even think. Just nodded.

We headed out to the car. Lucky for me, I’d actually cleaned it.

“You said it’s forty-five minutes to your place, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Fuck that — I’ll give you directions. Fair?”

“Sure,” I said, probably way too fast.

She had me drive down the main road.

“Next right,” she whispered, lips brushing my ear, kissing my neck.

I followed her instructions. Another turn. She kept kissing my neck, this time not letting up. Then, she unzipped my pants, slid her hand under my boxers, and started stroking me. Honestly, it was a miracle I didn’t crash us right then.

“See that road there?” She nodded left. “Pull in.”

I made the turn. About a minute later, she grabbed the steering wheel and yanked it right, almost hitting a tree. We bumped into a little clearing in the woods and I killed the engine.

She was on me right away — straddling me, thighs pressed to my hips, grinding on me. “Fuck me,” she breathed, her voice thick with want. I shoved my pants down. No hesitation.

My hands slid up her sides.

“You can rip it off me if you want.”

I yanked at the top of her dress with both hands, ripping right down the middle and freeing her tits. My thumb brushed over one nipple, and she moaned, arching toward me.

“Suck on my tits.”

So, I did. I sucked hard, tongue teasing her peaks, her fingers twisting in my hair, pulling me closer.

“Put your cock in me.” She wasn’t asking.

I pushed into her, and she started riding me, slow at first, soaking me, every movement slick and maddening.

“You’re getting all sweaty, aren’t you? I like that.” She grinned.

Her breath came in little gasps, matching my rhythm as I drove up into her. “Harder,” she demanded. I gave her everything I had, slamming up into her, sweat dripping down my face. I watched her tits bounce as I pumped faster and faster.

After a while, my cock pulled out mistakenly. She whimpered, missing me already. But that wasn’t the end.

“Are you playing with me?” she said, almost laughing.

I was SO not playing with her.

She opened the door and climbed out into the grass, and what was left of her dress fell to the ground from sheer gravity.

I didn’t give a shit where we were.

I picked her up in my arms and placed myself in her pussy, standing up.  She took control, bouncing on my cock relentlessly.  At some point, we simply lost control and fell to the ground, surrounded by little blue wildflowers.

I rolled her onto her stomach, lifted her hips, and she pushed back, ready for me. I grabbed her hips and slid in from behind. I wasn’t wasting time; I fucked her fast and hard, slamming into her backside with strong thrusts.

“Stay inside me but lay me flat,” she demanded.

“I pushed her ass down and banged her from a downward angle.  She was moaning and screaming…

“Yes….harder…fuck me harder.”

I did as asked and then flipped her over.

She let me pin her under me, legs wrapped tight around my waist. I buried myself in one hard stroke and she gasped, nails raking my back, pussy clenching around me. I started pounding into her again, hard and steady.

“You like that clench around your fucking cock, don’t you?” She squeezed me even tighter.

I grabbed a fistful of her red hair, pulling just enough to arch her back. That little bit of control sent a jolt through me. I fucked her faster, feeling her sugar walls flutter as she got close.

She broke apart — pussy spasming while she cried out. That did it. I drove in deep and came hard, filling her.

But we weren’t done.

Panting, I pulled out, and we just held each other for a bit.

“You do this a lot?” I asked, half-smiling.

“Why would you ask a thing like that? Do you really want the answer?”

“No,” I admitted. “I guess not.”

“Grand.”

And before I could catch my breath, she mounted me again, facing away this time, her back to my chest as she sank onto my cock. I watched her take all of me, groaning at the sight. She braced her hands on my thighs, bouncing, her tits moving with every thrust.

I slapped her ass lightly, and she ground down harder, circling her hips, making sure I felt every inch. I thrust up to meet her, matching her pace. She rode me until her legs started shaking, then spun around to face me. She pressed her body against mine, breasts against my chest, and kissed me — messy, desperate. She slammed down onto me over and over. I grabbed her ass, controlling the depth, feeling another orgasm build.

“Fuck!” she screamed.

She came again, shaking, and I kept going, then finally pulled out and came across her face, closing my eyes as I did so.   I felt the last of my cum drip.

“Open your eyes, love.”

I did — and nearly fell over.

Standing there was a tiny woman who couldn’t be more than four feet nine, but what she packed into that small frame was unreal. She wore a forest green waistcoat, tailored so tight it looked like it was fighting a losing battle with her curves, the buttons barely holding on.

Under it, a white blouse with the top three buttons undone, fabric a bit see-through where the sun hit it. Her skirt was scandalous—honestly, no leprechaun should ever wear something that short. Dark leather, barely covering her thighs, and a big leather belt that just squeezed her waist even tighter. Her boots went up to her knees, buckled and battered, heels just high enough to mean something.

Her hair, that wild copper-red, looked even wilder now. No more pretending. And the freckles—of course, she had freckles.

“What the hell—”

“APRIL FOOLS!”

She bounced over, grinning like she’d pulled off the best prank in Ireland. She grabbed my cock, gave it a quick tug, then took me in her mouth just long enough to clean things up. I kept thinking I should stop her, but honestly, what was I supposed to do?

She circled the tip once with her tongue, then let go and literally hopped up onto my stomach, her whole body just standing on me. She bent down and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

Then she bounced off, started scooping up her ripped sundress and every last bit of my clothes—she looked like “The Flash” darting around the clearing with green and black streaks of light following her.

She even made sure to check the car.

Then, out of nowhere, a little pot popped up under an actual rainbow. She jumped in.

“Thanks for that! Ye were my very first April Fool’s shag!”

“Well fuck,” I thought to myself as I watched my clothes, the cauldron, the rainbow, and Siobhan fade out, leaving a ring of gold smoke in her wake. Her laughter hung in the air long after she’d gone.

I sat there on the grass. Naked. Brain totally fried. Dick still in hand.

Eventually, I stumbled back to the car and started it up. Naked in a Chevy Spark. The leather was brutal. The radio exploded to life—except I hadn’t even turned it on.

Thin Lizzy. “Don’t Believe a Word” blasted through my speakers.

And, yeah, I smirked. How could you not?

Then I spotted something shiny on the passenger seat. A gold bar.

I picked it up, thinking, Finally, some luck.

Chocolate.

Oh, come on!

“Ye didn’t think I’d leave ye actual money, did ye, honey?”

Her giggle echoed one last time, and I drove home.