"Can I help you, sir?"

I turned to appraise the lady who was offering me her assistance. I liked what I saw. Petite. Clothes clinging to her as if their life depended on it, emphasising what looked like a perfectly proportioned chest. Brunette, shoulder length hair. Black shirt ending at the waist. First two buttons undone. Some form of necklace; no, a crucifix with the cross dangling enticingly between her... Not for the first time, I gave silent thanks to the amazing ability of the human mind to process so much information, so quickly.

Keeping my facial expression carefully composed, I replied, "That depends on what you had in mind."

"Clothes, sir."

"Sounds promising. Mine or yours?"

Now she seemed to be catching on, suppressing a smile and trying to keep her own face neutral. "Yours, sir."

"Hmmm... what's wrong with my clothes?" I asked, with a playful tone.

She didn't skip a beat. "Absolutely nothing. They look great, but..."

Now it's my time to interject, "I'm wearing too many huh? I have to say... I like the way your mind works. Between you and me," I continued, pausing to throw a quick glance to the left and right as if to signal that we risked being overhead, before stepping in slightly, "I think your skills might be wasted here."

She wasn't able to stop a smile that time - or maybe she wasn't trying to. "Is that so? What did you have in mind?"

"There's a loaded question." I flashed a grin. It's not a calculated move on my part. It's genuine. "Before we get to that, there is the unanswered question of how you can be of service to me."

"I hoped that we'd get back to that!"

"Was it ever in doubt?! I'm looking for a new pair of trousers."

"What's the occasion?"

"The neighbours are getting upset about me constantly walking around naked," I stated matter of factly.

She almost choked. 

"Not just neighbours,strangers in the street too. Bloody nerve!" I continued.

"It's a bit of a cheek, sir." She offered. "I suppose that I should be pleased that you're fully clothed."

"Well... not too pleased, I hope." 

"So... the occasion; should they be smart, casual, smart-casual... formal?"

"Not formal... god forbid! It's bad enough that you're calling me sir; contrary to popular opinion, I haven't yet been knighted. My name's Peter... my friends call me Peter, but you can call me Peter."

She grinned. "I'm Kimberly... and unfortunately, I have to call you sir. The boss is pretty strict about maintaining formal relationships with customers."

"That does raise an interesting question though, doesn't it, Kimberly... is it Kimberly, or Kim?"

"Kimberly."

"Kimberly...

how are you meant to know what I really, reallllyy want or how you can best meet my needs, if there's this rigid formality between us?"

"Kimberly, you're needed in the back..." Some weasel faced 26 year old with a manager plate on his shirt, who may have been there all this time, was now trying to intervene. A quick glance at him told me that he was smitten, and clearly harboured delusions about his chances. He was trying to safeguard those chances now by moving to wrestle Kimberly away... to protect her... virginity? There's no way a woman with a body like that could still be a virgin... unless of course, that cross; noooo... Jesus wouldn't be that cruel!

Another quick scan and I had his name. "Jason... you don't mind if I call you Jason, do you?"

"Errr..."

I guided him by the elbow and led him to what I hoped was a safe distance. "Good. I shouldn't be telling you this but I'm actually a mystery shopper. I need to get a feel for your staff. Obviously a manager such as yourself has nothing to fear, but Katie over there..."

"You mean Kimberley?"

"Sure... I need to see how she handles customers. Between you and me, she looks like she might not be up to the job. Had a few complaints about her, so I'd really rather that you didn't send her away, otherwise I'll have to come in on another day for another visit and..."

"And we wouldn't want that!"

"Exactly. You catch on quickly. I can see why they made you manager."

He smiled at me. I returned the gesture. It wasn't forced. We were just smiling about completely different things. Jason was happy that I'd complimented him and that I'd confided in him; he was in the know. I was happy that I was in the process of successfully fending off a cock block, that Jason had bought my spur of the moment lie so well, and that he thought that we were smiling about the same thing. Well, that last part just made me smile a bit more. Good old Jason. He was clueless and oh-so obliging. I just needed to add a few more touches and I'd be home and dry...

"I'd... errr, better get back to it. These reports don't write themselves." 

"Sure thing, sir. I need to get this delivery out back."

"You take on a hands on approach, huh." The irony of that statement was lost on him, but I had no doubt that he took a hands on approach every night. "You're a credit to your position. What's your last name? I'll see if I can't work you into the report. Big you up a bit."

The momentary confused look passed, and he smiled a bit. "Banning. Two n's"

"You don't say. Banning. Good, strong name. I'll remember that!"

And with that I turned on my heel. But Kimberly was nowhere to be seen...

TBC