Beads of water slithered down the window pane as I looked down into my glass of golden nectar. I simply called it the memory suppressor. It was a cliché, the rain only started when I got that text, ‘it’s over.’ The two words that nobody ever wants to see or hear but after seven long years I had finally lived my nightmare. However, I at least had company as my older brother was going through the same thing.
We slouched in the stools, trying to cumber up conversation but every conversation was broken by long, awkward silences. The people in the bar must’ve thought we were a right couple of miserable twats but like most people, they wouldn’t think about the circumstances. I was in love, I was going to get married, I was going to have a family and in the blink of an eye, I was drinking away the pain. James on the other hand, he was already married but discovered his wife had been having an affair behind his back.
More glasses filled with lager were placed just in front of us as we sighed in unison. This wasn’t really the Saturday night I had in mind.
“Fuck ‘em,” I said sharply trying to entice conversation once more.
“I should have seen it coming, she was always going out. Every time I asked, she’d just give me blunt answers. I guess I was never good enough for her, just someone to put her on until she found someone else.” James said, tears forming in his eyes.
Turning my head away, I heard him sniffle to himself. Maybe it wasn’t such a great idea coming out to take our minds off of it. The more we tried, the more we seemed to think about everything that had gone wrong.
“I wasn’t much better, I was always at work. He’d always tell me to slow down and enjoy the little things but I wanted our children to have much more than we did growing up,” I replied with a quiver in my voice. “He just never understood why I was so work-oriented. He didn’t understand the struggles we had as kids.”
“Well he’s a fool because he stumbled upon a gem,” James responded as he put the glass to his lips.
“Just like Laney,” I sighed. “She’ll realise that she’s made the biggest mistake of her life eventually.”
The silence ensued. This is what it had been like all night, brief conversation followed by a solemn silence between us both. I started to look around the bar, just looking for anything to truly take our minds off it all. James on the other hand seemed pretty intent on staring into the bottom of his glass in a sulk. Noticing a pool table in the back corner, the light bulb flicked on.
“Come on you miserable fart,” I said as I jumped to my feet, grabbing his arm.
“What are you doing Michelle?”
“I know what’ll cheer you up,” I replied as I pulled him off the stool, “Playing a game of pool with your little sister.”
“Okay, one game,” he said as he grabbed his beer and followed me to the table.
He placed his drink on a nearby table and grabbed the cues whilst I started to rack the balls. I playfully coupled two together and pretended that they were a pair of testicles, gently rolling them in my palm before placing them in the rack. I’d finally gotten a smirk from him as he watched me being my playful self.
“You were always a clown,” he said with a smile on his face.
“Well anything to turn that frown upside down,” I replied as I groped another pair of pool balls.
A lot of people would have thought it was inappropriate to make gestures like that at my brother but we kind of had that sense of humour about us. Cradling another pair of balls, I looked over at him. His face was turning crimson below his neatly shaven stubble, his crystal baby blues were set firmly on me, mesmerised.
“Are you okay James?”
“Yes, I was just in my own little world. Who’s breaking then?”
“You can, I guess.”
As he leaned over the table, I don’t know what had come over me but I felt the urge to check him out. I held the cue still as can be as I got a quick view of his muscles bulging beneath his blue chequered shirt. My teeth sank into my bottom lip as my eyes drifted away. He struck the ball with that much power that it made a deafening clacking noise as it collided with the other balls. I looked back at the table, watching as the balls whizzed around the table, a couple disappearing into the pockets.
“Well that was a good shot,” I laughed as I encouraged him. I wasn’t too bothered about winning as long as we had fun playing the game.
He just smiled before repositioning elsewhere around the table to take his next shot. Again, my eyes started to look down the neck hole of his shirt. My body started to get warmer and more flustered as I imagined what he looked like under his clothes.
“Middle pocket,” he said confidently as he struck the ball.
I snapped out of it, he was my brother and I shouldn’t have been looking at him like that but my head was just such a mess since the breakup. As James had said, the ball ended up disappearing down the middle pocket to my astonishment.
My jaw dropped, “You’re so lucky.”
“Are you kidding me?” He chuckled, “It’s not luck, just pure skill.”
“If you say so,” I replied as I rolled my eyes at him.
Together we walked around the table and as he set up for his next shot, I started to stroke my hand up and down the cue in a gesture that wasn’t at all subtle. It seemed to work as he completely missed the cueball. Walking over to him, a smile began to form on my face.
“That’s definitely not fair Shelly,” he said disgruntled.
“What isn’t?”
“You know what you were doing,” he replied. “You’re such a little brat.”
“Oh you mean this?” I laughed as I began to make the gesture again but faster. I then licked my lips at him as I bent over the table to take my shot.
I took a deep breath as I aimed my shot. I could feel his eyes watching me, checking me out as I had checked him out. The tension started to build between us as I struck the ball. The balls started to ricochet around the table as we came face to face again. We stood in silence for a few seconds, gazing into one another’s eyes.
“Do you wanna get outta here?” he asked.
“Thought you’d never ask.”
We threw the cues on the table and scurried towards the door. My heart frolicked with both excitement and nervousness, was this really happening?
“This stays between us,” he insisted as we set foot outside.
“My lips are sealed,” I responded as I made a zip gesture across my mouth.
“Good,” he said as he cupped my face and placed his lips against mine.
Closing my eyes, our tongues started to caress one another in my mouth. I couldn’t believe I was tasting my own brother’s saliva as we kissed passionately in the gentle rainfall, it was perfect. His hands started to roam down my body, feeling my curves as we broke our first kiss. Our eyes started to open and smiles began to form on our faces. For something so wrong, it felt so right.
His hands released my ass, one dropping into the air and the other wandering up to meet mine. I gracefully accepted his approach to holding hands. Together, we headed away from the entrance, the rain starting to stop as we made our way onto the street. His thumb rolled over the backside of my hand repeatedly as if we were long lost lovers. The black clouds started to dissipate and the golden rays of sunshine began to come through. It must have been a sign.
We crossed the road into my apartment complex, his hand firmly grasped mine. Deep down inside of me, the flame that had been extinguished was starting to reawaken. Passion ran throughout my veins as I anticipated what was about to happen next. As we reached the front door of the apartment building, I lunged at my brother, my tongue slipping into his mouth as he pressed me against the cold brickwork. His hand slid away from mine and moved under my dress. His palm rested firmly on my ass as his fingers dug into my soft flesh. Our lips smacked as our tongues danced around one another.
“You’re such a little tease, you know that?” James muttered quietly under his breath.
“I thought we needed a bit of excitement.”
“Was this all that you’d hoped for?” he asked as he planted his lips back on mine.
Our tongues reacquainted as his hands slipped under the waistband of my thong. Hooking his thumbs, he tugged on it a little.
“Easy tiger, let’s get inside.” I said softly as we broke the kiss once more.
I placed my hand on the key panel as James nestled his head into me. Soft, delicate pecks were scattered all around my neck and collarbone. The fire deep inside me started to roar with desire; my skin was warm to the touch.
“James, seriously we need to get inside.”
Pushing him away, I entered the pin on the panel to open the door. He was silent as he followed me inside, as if he was in some kind of trance. Pressing the button for the elevator, I could feel my skin burning away. I stood looking at the silver doors, I was glowing. I had never felt such lust like this for anyone. Maybe it was the alcohol; maybe I was just a perverted whore who had pushed this fantasy to the back of my mind because of social standards.
I admired his perfectly chiselled jaw line; it was as if God had carved it himself. The stubble on top wasn’t to my taste but regardless, it seemed to make him more attractive as it matched his shaven head. I just couldn’t wait to see what was hiding underneath his clothes. As I tried to imagine, a bell chimed and the doors slid open behind me.
We scurried inside and I hit the button for my floor. The doors started to close and once again, we were all over one another. His hands rolled the bottom of my dress up, exposing my panties to the air. He playfully slapped each of my ass cheeks and our lips locked. My arms crossed behind his neck as his tongue powerfully took control of the kiss. His hips started to push against mine as he drove me back against the cool metal wall of the elevator.
