A new girl is starting in our office next week. But please don't let her be all tall and lithe and willowy, nor with chestnut brown hair in a perfect little androgynous haircut, and no way can she be even the teeniest bit gay.

I hope there are no dark eyes that shine from below gently arching brows nor slender lips that seem to spread to her cheekbones when she smiles. And please, let her not possess that slightly husky contralto voice nor a modest, self-effacing manner that others seem to find so charming.

I couldn't stand the fucking competition!