Yeah, so I’m ‘that girl’ at the gym.

You know, blonde ponytail pulled through the back of my baseball cap, make-up like I’m on a date, and yeah, headphones on because I don’t want your chit-chat killing my vibe. If I need your dick, I’ll let you know. Don’t hold your fucking breath.

Perfect body. Elite ass – did I mention that?

Do I really need to tell you what I wear? Matching set. Scrunch ass hotpants and a minimal bra top. Pink or baby blue, and yeah, the headphones always match.

Do you want to know why I dress like this?

You think it’s to attract you? Fuck off.

I dress like this because it makes me horny, and when I’m horny, I have a burst of energy, and that means a great workout. End of.

You've got a name for me, right?

Prick-tease?

Bimbo?

Barbie?

Well, sorry, but I think you’ve mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck.

My gym, south London, weekday, 3.00pm. No, we don’t work, or if we do, it’s gangster hours.

It’s one of those gyms that ditzy bitches find ‘intimidating’. Black muscle meatheads throwing plates around like frisbees – but here’s the thing: I’ve fucked most of them, and once you’ve watched a guy eat your pussy, somehow they’re not so scary. So I’m pretty much always the only chick here.

But not today.

She stands out. All in black. Super-baggy sweatpants slung low on her ass to show 4” of boxer short underwear with Girl+Girl+Girl+ all the way around the waistband. Skimpy bra top, and the bitch is jacked. Biceps; fuck! Washboard abs, massive delts, and her back! It’s like a medical textbook showing every muscle. Ripped AF.

I do the standard girl split: booty, upper body, booty, core, booty, upper body, booty, core… You get the picture.

Eat, sleep, train, repeat.

Or in my case, eat, fuck, sleep, fuck, train, fuck, repeat, fuck.

Today is upper body, and this bitch is hogging the preacher curl machine. I hover; she notices. “Got many sets left?”

“Jump in.” She scoots her ass off the seat.

35 lbs, same weight I use. Thought she’d be doing double that.

I grind out my 12 reps.

She does 15 but doesn’t budge, just raises a finger – wait a minute – short pause, then 5 more reps. Same again, another short pause, another 5 and then one last time, a 15-second rest, 5 more reps and I can see that these ones hurt.

Now she’s off it. I’m curious. “What’s that about?”

“Called ‘Mylo’ reps,” she says. “Fifteen reps, then 15 seconds rest between 3 more sets of 5. The idea is that those last 3 sets are all near failure and so much more intense. More intensity equals more muscle.” She flicks out a double bicep pose right there in my face. Pretty brazen. Pretty fucking impressive. She’s got balls.

“Works for me.”

“Yeah, I see that.”

“Try it.”

I do. I grind out 12. She drops the weight 5 lbs. “Go again.” I manage the 5. “Slower on the way down.” I get 4 this time. She drops the stack another 5 lbs, and slow and controlled, I get the last 5 reps.

My biceps are mega pumped. I pull the same pose in front of the mirror.

Fuck, they look huge.

“Ok, that’s me done; have a good one.” And she’s gone, heading for the showers.

I try the same technique for shoulders. Dumbbell overhead press. A little lighter than my normal weight, 15, 5, 5, 5. Again, that fucking pump! My whole body seems pumped; hell, my pussy is pumped!

I head for the showers, and there she is. Dripping wet, pulling poses in front of the mirror.

Butt. Fuck. Naked.

She’s rockin’ an old-school full bush, and her ass could give mine a run for its money.

Ok, live and let live; whatever floats your boat, babe.

I start to strip. Even with my back to her, I feel her eyes on me.

Two can play that game, bitch.

I bend at the waist, legs straight, and peel my shorts down out of my ass crack.

Cop an eyeful of my hole then, girlfriend.

I turn around and sure enough she’s staring right at me. Brazen. I grab the elastic hem of the bra top and slowly pull it up and over my tits so that, as they’re freed, they bounce.

As I brush past her on the way to the showers, I flick her an eyebrow to say, “Yeah, and…?”

The water flows over me, cooling me down. Cooling my skin down anyway, but not my cunt.

What the fuck was that about? I’m not even bi. Am I? Must be the pump from the workout. Hey ho, never seen her before; probably never see her again.

I take my time, trying to clear my head, but my nipples are aching and my clit is throbbing.

Better go back out there, grab one of those muscle meatheads, take him home to fuck me.

But when I get back out to the changing room, there she is. In the 10 minutes I’ve been showering, she’s managed to put on a single item of clothing: boy-cut Calvins, black of course.

Slow dresser…

“How does it feel? You look pumped.” She’s staring at my tits. I come and stand beside her in front of the mirror, letting my towel fall to the floor.

“Yeah, good, I did shoulders too after you’d gone. It’s an interesting technique.”

She shimmies round behind me. I do the double bicep pose and push my ass back against her bush. She takes the hint:

“That's not the only technique I'm going to show you, Barbie.” She spits the last word into my ear.

She feels my biceps. No, she caresses them, then slides her fingers down my ribs, then up again to cup my tits. “Fuck, girl, you’re stacked.” The way she twists my nipples makes me bite my lip.

One hand drops to my butt. “The ass on you, bitch.” Her fingers slide down my crack; I know where this is heading.

Her left hand moves up to hold my throat as her right delves into my molten cunt.  Split fingers pincher grip my clit, and her thumb abruptly enters me.

She starts to finger-fuck me. She’s better at it than I am myself. Thumb right on my G-spot, fingers perfect on my button.

I can’t help myself: “Oh fuuucckkk don’t stop.” I sound like such a girl.

She holds my throat up higher, not choking, but the threat is there. “Like that, do you, bimbo?”

I’m close; she senses it but doesn’t let me cum, the cunt, but drops down to her knees instead and spreads my cheeks apart.

I brace my hands on the countertop, and true to form, she dives right in.

No surprise, she’s straight into my arsehole with her tongue. She was always going to be a filthy one. Good thing I love having my hole eaten.

I reach down and pull her head in harder.

“Yeah, come on then, you muscle bitch; eat that fucking hole.” I’m starting to enjoy this, but snap, she’s up on her feet with one hand around my throat again and the other spanking my bare ass hard, and this girl has got some power.

“I’ll give the orders round here, prick-tease.” Spank-spank-spank. I like it rough, so if she wants to roleplay, bring it on. I let out a series of little cries and whimpers until she seems satisfied I know my place and drops back down to her knees behind me.

This time she wants my cunt. She's hungry for it. Gets right beneath me and stuffs her face upwards right into me. No butterfly kisses and gentle licking from this one; she’s chewing on my pussy, and she’s a noisy eater.

Her iron grip holds both my ankles, and her tongue, hard and flat, pushes back and forth, across my clit.

Fuck, even this girl's tongue is built.

How does it start for you? For me it’s a tingle in my fingertips, and my toes begin to curl. My whole cunt tunnel starts to throb, and then my anus too. Little spasms in my clit, and that’s the point of no return before it builds and grows, takes over, and erupts.

And when it’s really, really good, my legs are jelly and my bladder joins the party. And this one was really, really fucking good.

She’s soaked. Not happy. On her feet again and spank-spank-spank, my legs give way and I crumble to the floor.

“Piss on me, you cunt; how dare you?” Standing over me, she pulls down the Calvins, spreads her lips with two fingers and takes revenge. When she’s empty, she flicks on an oversized tee, kicks into her sneakers, flips me the bird and leaves me there in a heap on the floor, drenched and drained.

Never seen her before, never saw her again.

Sometimes you have to hold your fucking hands up and admit you met your match.