In my dreams she exists and she is truly real
Then I wake
In a daze.

Someday I will realize she stopped being there
When she left
In a mist.

But my mind is a frangible substance that will
Break into 
Tiny bits.

While sustaining my visions of what could have been
She is here
Alive still.

Systematic resistance to the truth brought me
Where I am
In denial.

You must not tell me it is otherwise my friends
Suspension
Of logic.

Piles of insanity have filled my frantic mind
Hopes and fears
That are lost.

But she never really lived a life outside 
Fevered thoughts 
Now scattered.

No, no, that is not true I lie to myself now
That love lives
In my heart.

Please do not open that room in my reeling brain
Pain escapes
In a maze.

She simply will not appear when I call her name
Nevermore
Not today.

Across the world and backwards in time I would fly
To hear her 
Or see her.

That was something that has only happened just once
Seeing her 
That one time.

In my mind and on the screen her face was right there
One moment
And then lost. 

Do not tell me she has never been there for me
I saw her 
Flickering.

Her voice still ringing in my ears, my thoughts, my mind
It was just
Yesterday.

Is she only that someone that I used to know
Electrons
Dancing by.

Perhaps so
As I grieve
Becoming lost again in electronic dreams.