I wonder what you do 
when you miss me. 
I wonder how you hold back 
to act on those desires 
that I used to kindle. 

I wonder if we have lost the fire
in each other's eyes, 
the warmth of our bodies
when we shut the world,
and just think about us--
how our lips crash,
how our hips roll,
and collide...

How our worlds melt into one
when you hug me close,
when you say my smile
eases out your worries,
when you whisper 
how you want to touch
every inch of my skin...

I wonder what keeps you going
without leaving a word for me
or at least three.
"I miss you" is not that long to utter.
"I wish you were here", too.

I have tried to 
be open to conversations
even flirtations 
with other men --
but how come 
I am not so happy,
when all I want is you?

They dared to behold my 
sun-kissed skin
but never the door to my mind.
You know this so well -
only you hold the key
to my primal desires.

So now I will go to bed
still thinking about you,
how you've curled up
in your own bed
miles apart without me.
How the air gently
puts you to sleep
or which kiss 
will bring you peace.

I am here 
again and still
hugging my pillow
wanting, desiring
that it's nothing else.
But you.