Here I sit in a calm place,

With the rain is coming down all around me;

Cold, wet, and weak,

Thinking about you and your smile... 

And it warms me.

Thinking of the way you laugh and talk and forget that,

I am wet and tired.

The reminder of the way you looked and smelled that night

I took you to dinner.

The long walks on the beach

The conversations that we had,

The dreams we shared about our future... the talk the baby.

Here I sit;

A calm place to talk to you about the years of bitter rage,

Of my discontentment.

I still picture your pretty face,

Full of sadness about the choice we had to make.

I wish I could be the hero you wanted me

To be and less like the man I was,

Because I was selfish.

I was living for me and not living for us.

But I can’t change the past;

I must live in the present.

But I can’t help but yearn for that,

Which I lost,

That which I do not have.

I still miss you and my son.

I will not dwell on my mistakes,

But rather learn from them and

make myself a better man.

I still miss your pretty face

and your wonderful laughter and joy.

I miss our passionate nights together,

The pillow fights we had,

And the uncontrollable laughter

that fills my soul.

You will always be with me,

As you will always be part of me.

I now know what God meant when He said,

“And the two shall become one.”