In our separate beds,

So far but near,

Silently during the nights

As they made love,

I would listen to them.

I kept thinking of you.

It took years...

Seemed like an eternity,

But I knew, I wanted you.

On that night, I lost control.

Silently I came to you

As you slept, I sat there.

Shaking like a leaf,

As I gently fondled you.

My heart was out of control, 

My ears were ringing, 

Throbbing like distant drums.

My face was white with fear.

As you came on my hands,

I gently stroked you...

Oh my God! I loved you!

I wanted more.

Rejected and heartbroken 

I crept back to my bed.

My heart was crushed

I felt like a stupid slut.

My mind racing wildly,

Oh God! What have I done?

Crying through the night...

I still wanted you.

Years have gone past, 

And you'll never know,

The sorrow in my heart,

For that dreadful night.

But I'm not sorry, 

For loving you.

I just wanted more...

And always will. 

Carolyn